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Feeling Ghosted in Relationships

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The first step I would encourage you to take if you ever get ghosted is that don't blame yourself and realize that this action is more about this person and not you.

It means that two people were talking to eachother and they even went on dates but suddenly one person begins ignoring the other person like they don't even exist. So in that situation, the worst thing you can do is to blame yourself for those actions that the person is taking.

If that person ghosted you for no reason don't hit that shame on yourself and realize that those actions are an expression of their low character and it doesn't mean that you have something wrong with you. You don't have to take ownership for for somebody else's actions. Make sure that you are not getting ghosted for no reason.

Now, if you did something crazy or rude and all of a sudden that person does not want to respond to your calls, texts or doesn't want to hang out with you anymore, in my opinion then you are not getting ghosted for no reason.But, if someone's like you don't have any idea for what happened and all over a sudden they are out of your life and not interested in you like they did before, and now they don't want to respond to you like they did before, again, that is not your fault but that is their choice.

It is helpful to realise that everybody is going through something and we don't need to Condon or commend someone for acting that way. We also realize that some people have some wounds that this person could be going through something in life : immaturity and fear which is costing them to act in that manner or in a way that is inappropriate.

Just forgive this person for expressing their feelings in a disrespectful way. It is notwrong for this person to not want to talk to you anymore, to not be interested in you romantically anymore and is neither wrong for this person not to talk to you so that they can start dating someone else. Non of these things are really wrong .

Wrong is to express these feelings in a disrespectful format like ghosting. If you just had a relationship with someone you were talking on the phone you were expressing interest and then all over a sudden you just cut it off and act like that person doesn't exist, that is unfair and not right. In my opinion it is being disrespectful to the other person. If that happens to you, just forgive them for not doing the right thing. Don't get mad at them for dating someone else simce you guys are not yet married. Don't get mad at them for the things they chose to do but instead, move on with your life and also try and live like they never existed as well.As much as it will hurt, you have to move on.

Stop reaching out to this person and accept that they are ghosting you.Once you realize that this person is ghosting you, stop wasting your emotions on somebody that is ignoring and ghosting you. Stop responding and reaching out to this person as quickly as possible. You are only hirting yourself. You have to stop getting to a point of saying that this is not happening.

When the person is not responding and ghosting you, you have to get to a point of acceptance. This is because when you start controlling the behaviours of people that you disagree with, it is going to drive you crazy. Don't ask them why they are avoiding and ghosting you. You will only end up looking kind of crazy. They are only going to keep not responding and not reaching out to you. They are going to end up making you looking bad for trying to control their behaviour.

Just any time in life when you dont like what someone is doing, the right response is not to try to change what they are doing. You can tell them how their actions are making you feel but eventually you have to accept that that is their choice for acting that way even if you disagree with it. If you don't accept it it will only eat you on the inside.

Do not waste your emotions on someone who doesn't love you or accept you for who you are. Love yourself more and focus on your life. You will find someone who doesn't disrespect you.

Question.

Have you ever been ghosted or have you ever ghosted someone? Why did you do that or what did you do when you were ghosted? Feel free to respond in the comment section

Comments

Millicent Okello (author) from Nairobi, Kenya on March 11, 2021:

@ dashing scorpio,

Its so unfortunate that those who ghost others pretend as if they don't hurt the other party.

dashingscorpio from Chicago on March 10, 2021:

Most ghosting takes place within the first few weeks or couple of months of getting to know someone. Generally speaking people don't "ghost" each each other in long-term committed relationships whereby they have met each other's "inner circle" of family, friends, and co-workers, attended gatherings, and celebrated holidays together.

The reason why being "ghosted" hurts many people is because they behave as if they are in an "exclusive relationship" when one does NOT exist! This causes them to become "emotionally invested" attached to someone they barely know.

You're better off engaging and dating multiple people until there has been a discussion to become a "couple" in a committed relationship. Making (assumptions) can lead to heartache.

It should go without saying if this person you are seeing maintains an "active online dating profile" odds are they are keeping their options open and so should you!

If you were looking for job you wouldn't stop sending out your resume just because you had a couple of great interviews with one company!

Until an offer has been made and accepted both the company and the candidate are within their rights to interview with others.

Ghosting is "rude behavior" however you can't control other people.

By engaging with and dating multiple people you are likely to experience less pain in the event you are rejected or ghosted because you were never "all in" to begin with.

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on March 10, 2021:

I wrote a hub on What is Ghosting and why do you do it this is what it is all about. Sadly, most people choose to behave in that way.

Ravi Rajan from Mumbai on March 09, 2021:

Millicent ghosting is the worst thing that can happen in any relationship.I believe it is even worse than breakup as there is no clear endng.THanks for sharing.

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on March 09, 2021:

Millicent, thank you for sharing this good advice. I haven't experienced "ghosting" but I know some who have and it is very difficult for them to accept.

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