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Expressions Say What We're Thinking

Kenneth Avery is a Southern humorist with well over a thousand fans. The charm and wit in his writing span a nearly a decade.


If you are a Hank Williams, Sr. fan, then you know what is in one of his hits, "Your Cheating Heart Will Tell on You," and although the song and music is good, many people argue that they can tell a lie to anyone and never get caught. Maybe. Maybe not. I personally have had a lot of trouble telling a lie. I am proud to stand-up and confess this human frailty.

And lies, like being drunk on booze can come in degrees. There is the proverbial white lie, which is not much of a lie, but it is a lie. Then there is the pure lie where we can tell this form of lie and people will accept it on face value. Of course, there is the bold face lie which does not take a rocket scientist to know that the lie is not true from start to finish. I am no expert, but isn't the best advice for us is not to tell a lie. Sure, we can tell the truth although it may cause us some ill feelings, but no one can accuse us of "telling a big one," lie that is.

If you've watched those documentaries telling us how the various authorities have been trained to catch a lie just from a certain look on a suspect's face. One tell is when a suspect quickly moves his (or her's) eyes from right to left or visa versa.

This one observation has helped to arrest several criminal's who were hiding an awful truth.

But . . .can we be sure of someone's laughing? Many women and men have used fake laughter so much in the way of their jobs that these people cannot let go a real laugh. Sad. Very sad. And yours truly has been in the way of an insincere coworker. She would laugh at something she read in my column (in my newspaper days) and just use every part of her face while cackling like a mother hen and a person would have to be really in trouble not to catch what she was doing.

Speaking of insincerity. People (like above) work in the high-pressure jobs of sales and yes, when they "court" a high-dollar client or customer, the customer is bound to try to be funny to break the ice with the salesperson. Upon the customer's bad timing, the salesperson lets out a huge almost-yelling and slapping his knee and remarks, that was a good one, Jim. The same method can be used by female salespersons. So insincerity is not a "new kid on the block."

Those were professional people, but what does a certain look on someone's face tell us about what he or she is thinking about? You might be surprised. I have been privy to this woman who loved to party and made no bones about it. One day we were going to have a big office meeting and discuss work in general. So when our owner, a serious owner, dropped by to tell us about his ideas on how to make more sales, I noticed that the "Party Girl," was in a daze. Her eyelids did not move. I didn't bring attention to her. But I did whisper to her, you going on a hot date tonight? No words were exchanged from the pretty girl. Her expression told the story. Because she shared all of the details about her date with this very handsome man who she knew.

Many times during my senior year of high school, I had a civics class just after a rigorous P.E. class (Physical Ed.) and in the summer, our teacher had his room windows open to let the cool breezes inside. What a mistake! While he lectured about the Gross National Product and the Net Gains and Losses about Wall Street, I did not hear a word of it. I am honest. I caught myself found deep into a good daydream about these two older women who a buddy and I had met in a day or two back. But if you saw these two gals, you would agree with me.

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In closing, I was guilty of not paying attention to what a girl date was saying to me because in the daytime, I did manual labor a few years prior to my newspaper job. Needless to point out, I was dog tired. There I go with degrees of tired. At any rate, my mind was elsewhere. She began to tell me everything that I was to know about her . . .then she said it, the one question that she shouldn't have asked.

"Ken, are you bored with me?" she blurted-out.

"You doggone right!" I said before I could stop myself.

Yes, I felt like a heel, but explained why I was dog tired. She somehow believed me. Or did a whale of a job telling me that she understood.

One thing in her favor was we were sitting in my buddy's backseat while my buddy and his gal pal got out to get some burgers. The girl got away with her response.
Did my eyes move from left to right as I wrote this piece?


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© 2022 Kenneth Avery

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