Lost Friendship Story
Everything seems to interact in order for them to live with satisfaction, and in this way we create unintentionally relationship that may lead to intimate companionship. A sense of belongingness towards life fulfillment of their daily living “No one is an island” as what the proverb says, it accumulates memories that sink in their personality. As what in the field of Science tells us arguably - memories are not recycled like atoms and particles in Quantum Physics they can be lost forever, like friendship/relationship everything that would mean so special to both of you may turn to nothing and back to strangers again.
As I was pondering at the side of my room; flashback creeps into my thought infecting again my whole system, it’s like a virus which corrupts my memory and insights. I was in the hallucination that everything is fine, but the truth is, everything is worthless and had changed. Sighing words “I have nothing to lose because everything was lost and steal from my past”. The smiles from my visage were gone as our promises break and become stagnant. My friend was my best buddy but he also becomes my worst enemy, our happy moments that we would think lasting end unexpectedly.
Just like weather it continually alters, people change whenever they're hurt, they forget their oath and colonized by their unreachable prides.
As a resultant our companionship was ruined, we fought back to one another ignoring what we have shared in our past. I get used to it but the pain remains incurable.
We treated ourselves as brothers; each day is incomplete without each presents. But those great memories were vanishing as the falsehood invaded ours. Forbidden as it is, for it will never work as a friendship become a secret and as strangers. I don’t know, I can’t believe that candies may turn bitter and dawn was trash out by twilight, it’s the fact that our expectation to one another was not meant, I was baffled by what outcome we’ve accomplished with great grief and regrets’. Our concern for one another was covered up with pain and anger eternity, it can be lost from time to time as what I felt but certainly it will come back fluctuating.
A Message to My Lost Friend
Every pause is a pain and lingers spears my feelings. As what I remember every night I still feel the pain as the cold tears flows with my fainted visage. I hated the way it was used to be, it could happen the other way around with it ought to happen.
There are places I can’t go back, for it will only stimulate tantrums and melancholy atmosphere deep within. I used to forget and forgive, live my life without my friend who becomes my happiness date back before. I busy myself, for an every pause is a reminiscence, and I hated it if it whenever it lingers my thought.
It was an unfinished story as it was, but I realize that same story must remain unfinished for good. There are things that I must keep in myself and things that must be forgotten forever. Not because of escaping from it but because some things are automatically fixed if it will stay untouched like corrals. While looking at the mirror, I ask myself; would I will be happy again? Will I find someone worth accompanying for?
By then, I continued my life and saw the beauty from the dark badges of life. I become stronger by founded virtue that was accumulated during my torment and vain. I never expected that I will be happy again and create new people to hang on, it happens when you least expect it.
I need to let go in order to make things right, I need to stop to collect the missing pieces of my lost identity, water under the bridge as what idioms say, everything must change for a better tomorrow. Life must never stop when you’ve lost something so special,
Life is a gamble; we need to play it for fun cause when you take it seriously everything does will be too tough.
With those miseries and agony I become tough and smart, experience had found its course to wrath me and teach me of what the real life is all about. My past commenced to exude away from my brain; it sublimes and condenses like a water vapor. It seems to fade and starting to vanquish all my worries because present people are now filling up my emptiness that the past people can never do anymore for me.
Today, I’m happier since I knew I had done the right way around. It may be hard for me but its prizes were immeasurable. And that’s the calmness of my heart which I had followed the righteous way. . .
A Goodbye Song for my Friend
Can’t Cry Hard Enough
My eyes were dry now crying and chasing for someone who never loves me back. I was torn and misunderstood for something that I had been fighting for. I was dumped by someone who had been my happiness for a short period of time. It’s the feeling that my realm turns to downfall and everything seems to be broken especially your entity.
Life at this moment seems to be worthless and all you wanted to do is to go back from the past and correct mistakes to start all over again with the person you really wanted to stay. But the painful truth of life was that there are no replays, all the things that have happened already lasted and I can’t go back to where we are used to be.
Every night there was dew beneath my eyes falling smoothly as it cleanses my sight.
My mind was out and behind from my eyesight, far from my views as tantrums lingers my conscience. I cannot smile for deep inside I was burdened, I can’t project happiness for I can’t fraud myself, I can’t sleep for shadows of my past keeps on resonating. I was wide awake that night full of melancholy and mourn; I hit myself for being so stupid, for making the same mistakes all over again, for being dumb and for being an idiot. I let myself do the things repeatedly even that I know I will regret for the very first place. I let myself get drowned with too much blithe. I was not being careful of what I am doing. I was knocked down and till now I can’t recover totally. It was never been easy since I knew for myself that I can never rewind my past to correct those mistakes. It was a trace that scars my spirit and whole life; it showed me things that I never wanted to see. Life had offered me too much sadness that sometimes I wish to stop and die.
That night I have loosened my intuition reminiscing what my whole life has been for the past few months. It was stormy and rainy; and all of a sudden I have pondered and asked myself if I was heading off the right path, as I look the starry sky and see the brightness behind those stars I have realized that today was stormy but who knows maybe tomorrow I will be heading for the sunshine.
Time doesn’t heal anything for it only teaches us how to live with the pain. It makes us stronger and helps us see our destination clearer. I struggled for life, what I really need, what I really wanted and what really matters most. I stumbled but I keep on moving that’s why till now I am fighting. I can’t cry hard enough for my tears were barren crying every night for someone which is not worth crying for. I guess, I am weak for doing these things but this is the only way to ease the pain. Time after time the pain exudes away from me, it sublimes like a naphthalene balls in my closet and I know someday I will get used to it.
"Life is unfair for it teaches us in a hard way."
I know everything has a reason why it all happened to me, why I am suffering from this insanity but for now, I can’t cry hard enough-- my eyes are arid and my heart was callous. I learned my lesson, I need to accept that you’re gone and open my eyes for goodbyes. There is nothing left to hold and I know you will never hear me now.
Inspired and written by: Kenneth Agudo
Philippe on February 23, 2015:
Filnaly! This is just what I was looking for.