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Do You Want to Be Friends With the Enemy

Devika enjoys sharing her work with a friendly community. Writing opens the mind. I live in a foreign country learned a foreign language .

Friends with enemies

I don’t have enemies, but I may never know that. If you feel getting back that relationship you once had with your enemy, think again!

Begin conversation and do this when you are comfortable with the enemy. There is no reason to get back with an enemy. If you choose to for your own reasons then begin with meeting up in a familiar environment.

Small conversations are basic to confirm that you can meet up somewhere, and clear the air of your mishaps from the past. Somehow doing that is not as necessary to make the same mistakes again.

An invitation to join you and the enemy for a coffee and to begin the communication with another good friend to feel comfortable with the meeting. Sometimes ignoring the enemy is a better idea, but if you know the enemy is not open to conversation, then let go of that.

You feel your trust is lost with that one person you shared your personal interests with. A problem that may not need you to be hanging out together again. The time you spent with that person has been destroyed by their actions.

Times have changed and speaking to the enemy is not what you want to do anymore. A bond you shared is broken and you do not want to hear of that person’s name again.

Stay away from the enemy. It is not worth your precious time to interact with the enemy. This situation leaves you to cope with the loss of a friend. Being friends with the enemy just puts you at a no level of respect.

Your mutual friend is friends with your enemy, will you be jealous of that?

Avoid what you know will hurt you and your mutual friend. The mutual friend needs to respect your wishes. However you see it, the mutual friend and the enemy, you need to focus on finding better friends.

I believe that both enemies can become friends. If you have your mutual friend, the enemy is not a friend to you.

This means your mutual friend has made their choice when they decided to become friends with your enemy. So, your mutual friend is friends with your enemy and spending time together. This doesn’t make sense to see that your friend is a friend of your enemy.

There are issues to deal with and you shouldn’t ignore the reason you have become enemies. You have family, friends, and foes. Stay with friends and family, but keep your distance with foes.

Enemies hurt you and won’t apologize to you. When you are friends with someone whom your other friends do not approve of, is another problem to deal with. Friends do not understand the meaning of a friendship and tend to dislike one another in a group.

Move on and find new friends and choose better this time. If your mutual friend befriends the enemy it can ruin you in some ways.

They will share certain conversations about you making the situation feel uncomfortable. When your friend chooses the enemy against you it is not what or who you need in your life.

Why do you have an enemy?

What have they done to you to make you call them the enemy?

This depends on that and if can’t be trusted stay away from them. You do not know if your friend is true unless they do something to you. Trusting someone is not always easy to cope with.

Sometimes you befriend people you think you know and discover much later, they are not what you had expected. It is a risk you take when you meet someone to share your secrets with and to trust in your life. Having a friendship is special.

Even if you know each from childhood years, there is often something or someone that would come between you to destroy your friendship. A friendship is valued and respected from both sides.

Trust and communication is key to all relationships, when you don't have that your friendship is easily lost. Be with someone you can hang out with and trust without a doubt, well, that is what you want in a friendship. Unfortunately, you get to do that and learn from any mistakes in that experience.

For example:

If you met someone and in most cases you do not know that person well enough. This person made you feel uncomfortable and you suggested to your friends to stay away from that person.

Your friends didn’t take you seriously and decided to go against your wishes. They knew it wasn’t what you wanted but befriended the other person and invited them to events and behaved as they wished in your presence.

You saw this person as the enemy and your mutual friends didn’t see it that way. It is awkward to want your friends to follow your suggestions.

Making friends with the enemies is just as bad as mutual friends being friends with your enemy. You are hurt by that enemy and feel mutual friends shouldn’t be friends with the enemy.

Nobody can control what their friends do and with whom they are friends. You can change the way you think and do for yourself. In this situation move on and forget about those friends that call themselves friends to you but are not your friends.

You can be your own self and be friends with whomever you want, but not with those you can’t count on in your life. In life you make choices and the choices you make affect you for the rest of your living time.

Someone who does not understand you, who you can’t call trustworthy, or someone who you feel is not standing with you at your worst is certainly not a friend.

An enemy is not someone you should try to befriend again. Enemies hurt you and are cruel to you.

You won’t tolerate that your friend has befriended your enemy.

In everything you try to cope with mutual friends befriending the enemy, you have to see the reason for that person being the enemy. Friendships last for years on before something goes wrong and they become that enemy. It is not what you want or hope for in a friendship, but for some reason it is there happening to you. Your friend abandoned you out of the blue and you feel helpless.

Usually this happens with teenagers.

A time when they feel vulnerable and need support from a friend. Painful as it is for you, the best option is to walk away and do what makes you feel happy and comfortable. At some point for everyone they had to go through it in a friendship. Betrayal is the worst you can experience from a friend.

The qualities you can involve in your life to feel good as follows:

  • Forgive the enemy and move on to finding better people in your life.
  • Apologize if you were in the wrong otherwise the enemy should take a look at the problem and apologize to you.
  • It doesn’t mean either of you apologize, that you should stay friends. Nothing will change for the better if you stay friends.
  • No need to prove anything to the enemy, just try to forget the bad experience and learn from those mistakes.
  • Friends with enemies is a disappointment to you.

Quotes about friendships

do-you-want-to-be-friends-with-the-enemy
do-you-want-to-be-friends-with-the-enemy

Friendships are valuable

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2021 Devika Primić

Comments

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on May 29, 2021:

Thank you Sankhajit Bhattacharjee, always appreciated.

Sankhajit Bhattacharjee from MILWAUKEE on May 29, 2021:

Philosophy of friendship

I enjoyed it

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on May 29, 2021:

VIDYA D SAGAR Thank you very much for stopping by. I so agree with you. I appreciate your comments.

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on May 29, 2021:

FlourishAnyway Thank you for a comment. Enemies are best to be kept at bay and not to enter our lives again. I appreciate your time.

VIDYA D SAGAR on May 28, 2021:

A thought provoking article Devika. Given that our time on this earth is limited, it better to cherish friendships and forgive the enemies. But it is better to stay away from toxic people. They never change and you are at risk always. When your friends befriend your enemy, you can only warn them because ultimately it is their choice. But they will get to know the truth sooner or later.

FlourishAnyway from USA on May 28, 2021:

Some people have goals, habits, and aspirations that are at cross purposes with one's own and you'll never be friends with them. The best you can hope for is civility.

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on May 28, 2021:

Chitrangada Sharan Thank you kindly for a response to my hub. I appreciate your support.

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on May 28, 2021:

Nithya Venkat Thank you and you are right! I appreciate your time and comments.

Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on May 27, 2021:

An interesting and insightful article, and you have made some important points to ponder about.

I like to have cordial relations with everyone, and try not to get affected by unreasonable behaviour. We will be happy and peaceful, if we believe in the principle of, forget and forgive.

Thank you for sharing this well written and thought provoking article.

Nithya Venkat from Dubai on May 27, 2021:

An interesting article. It is always better to forgive the enemy, move on and live life being happy.

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on May 27, 2021:

Mel you are so right about having real friends. I am lucky to have a real friend for 19 years in Croatia. When I lived in South Africa I didn't have friends. I agree that having more Internet friends is better than to have real ones. Thank you

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on May 27, 2021:

Dr Billy Kidd, so true and I like that comment. Enemies have a way of pay back if that is how you see it. Thank you for sharing your feedback. Take care!

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on May 27, 2021:

Misbah You too stay happy and healthy and keep safe. I appreciate your comment it makes me feel happy that you are supportive. Thank you

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on May 27, 2021:

Dora so kind of you to comment I appreciate your time.

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on May 27, 2021:

Adrienne Farricelli It is tough life and with such friends or enemies not much can be resolved. One will hurt the enemy or a mutual friend and cause a lot of issues. I am pleased you stopped by thank you for sharing that.

Mel Carriere from Snowbound and down in Northern Colorado on May 27, 2021:

Very interesting thoughts, Devika. I think I have a lot more internet friends than I have real ones, and maybe it is better that way. When it looks like my few friends might turn into enemies I just keep my distance from them for a while, and they usually come back to me with a better attitude. But I left the few real friends I have behind in California, and since I moved to Colorado I haven't had time to make any new ones yet, but I don't think I miss having real friends. I hope you have a beautiful day, my friend.

Dr Billy Kidd from Sydney, Australia on May 26, 2021:

My enemies always dig their own "graves". Just give them time. I ignore them when I can.

Misbah Sheikh from The World of Poets on May 26, 2021:

I don't like to make enemies and I don't have any by the Grace Of God. I believe love can conquer everything. Even if in life I would have one I won't mind them making friends again. We should be kind to each other. All of us are human beings and make errors. If someone hurts us we should Forgive them and should give them another chance. so that they can also realize their mistake. Love gives life its meaning, and without it there isn't much life at all. Stay happy and healthy!!

Blessings and Love

Dora Weithers on May 26, 2021:

I like your last quote. Competing for friendship is not worth it. Accept the change and move on.

Adrienne Farricelli on May 26, 2021:

I once had a friend that was upset with me because one of her enemies asked my friendship on social media and I accepted. I can see how it may have hurt her, but I had no idea.

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on May 26, 2021:

Hi Bill I appreciate your comments, take care and hope you visit Croatia someday.

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on May 26, 2021:

Pamela Oglesby Thank you. Enemies are not in my life as well. I appreciate your comments.

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on May 26, 2021:

Sankhajit Bhattacharjee thank you

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on May 26, 2021:

Interesting article, as always. I'm happy to say I have no enemies. That's a relief! Enemy is such a strong word.

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on May 26, 2021:

This is an interesting article that has a wealth of very good advice, Devika. At this time in my life I don't think I have any enemies. Life is different for me at this age. I agree the trust and communication are essential in any relationship.

Sankhajit Bhattacharjee from MILWAUKEE on May 26, 2021:

inspiring post...l learn a lot

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