Engelta loves to talk and study in depth the self-esteem issues, as well as how to improve and cherish relationships.
Love? I can hear you saying that is a subject on which there have been written over and over many novels, poems, quotes, and you may be exhausted hearing about that. Love. What is love really? Well, you may really think it is enough written about it, but I do not think you really feel it is enough. It is never enough, and I know that I may sound like a burnt out romantic human being, but this is not the case.
The case is, there won't ever be enough. Stories rewrite themselves over and over, but each time in a different way, there's a different time. Maybe you should believe in soul- mates after all.
Someone to love and be loved.
Love has been the key word since the first human was created (or born). Love has inspired romantic deeds, poems, novels, and wars.
Nowadays, love comes as the sublime feeling to reach the unknown, or heaven for those who believe in it. Somehow, we are pressured into looking for possible girlfriends or boyfriends, since an early age like that of 12 years old is! Too young. But maybe we have grown too old to remember. (I know is not this anyway).
Let's get back to pressure. You need to keep a balance, you need to not fall under pressure. See, your soul mate, may exist or not, but it is not the right way of pursuing something in every single boy or girl. It will exhaust your heart and soul, it will break you into pieces.
In order to look out for your other half, first of all you should look out for your own self.
Who are you and what are your needs? Please, do not answer yet with a man, or a woman, or even a job. The answer is not that simple. Scroll down on the page.
Find a moment when you are in peace, in a place where nothing will disturb you, and do not meditate, just sit down, or you may even stand up, anyway you feel comfortable, and think.
Look deep down into you, dive into your dreams, and into your feelings. Who do you THINK you are? How do you really feel? What are your dreams like?
Simple questions do they seem, but they are not that simple, really.
Many people think they know themselves, then it comes a moment, when in a fight, or in a matter of a forgiveness act, they react differently, and they admit to not have known this side of themselves.
One way to know yourself is to put yourself into situations you have not been part of yet. Let's see how you react to this. Or if you are afraid of heights, go jump of a climb into the sea. If you are afraid of darkness, fight the fear of sitting in a dark room for a relatively long time. Conquer your limits, conquer your fears. They do not define who you are. You define yourself. Find yourself.
And then it comes to feelings. It is time to be truly sincere with ourselves. I know that quote: Fake it until you make it. It may be true, and even accurate to lie others, but do not fall for your own game, do not lie to yourself. Feelings are important, not because you are devoting them to your special someone. Feelings are important, because they value you. Do you respect yourself, do you love yourself, do you show care, admiration towards yourself? If you do not love yourself, no one else will. It all comes from within you. A man learns to treat his woman by looking at how she treats herself. Bear this in your mind.
And when it comes to dreams it get complicated. Sometimes it hurts how many of them are not even in the beginning. They are just dreams, not even drafts. Nor are we talking about them being completed. This is how we will do it:
Find a blank paper (or lots of them), find a pen too. Now sit down, think, and write your every single dream that you would want to become your reality. Pick one of them and create a plan scheme on how you will reach it. Begin now, do not lose time.
One key to success, as I have heard a great entrepreneur mention, is to eat lunch at the time of the day when other people have breakfast. That means you have to work hard, and late. And get up early in the morning. You have to work until your dreams come true. There is no easy way to success.
You need to value your dream, and your first steps. Sometimes your first steps are the wrong ones, and your first framework needs some change. Do not be afraid to edit your dream. Afraid you shall be of quitting. No one was born perfect, but they became good by never quitting of trying to reach for perfection.
In the end, I am asking you again the same questions in the beginning. Who are you and what are your needs?
You shall find your soul mate now. Remember, you do not love someone because you need him. You need someone because you love him. Do not say you can not live without that person. Because you did before you met him, and you can live without him again. Decide that you do not want to. And if you know yourself, you know how you are going to fight, and when you are going to hold back. Do not depend on anyone, people come and go, even the one that you thought was your soul mate. Anyway, no matter how much pain, love with all your heart, because that is all that matters.
One last thing, “I trust you” is a greater compliment than “I love you.” Because love may not always mean trust, but when you trust someone, you always love them.
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