Michelle used to let everyone's opinions run her decisions, emotions and ultimately life choices. In her healing, she learnt to stand alone.
There is not ONE truth
The sooner you come to grips with the fact that there is more than one truth when it comes to people, the easier it will be to stand in yours and accept others' truths compassionately. Our egos constantly tell us that our truth is THE truth but what is true for one person may not be for someone else. Their truth may be the opposite depending on their life events, experiences, and lessons. Could you imagine if everyone's truths were the same? We would never learn anything! Everybody is different. We all think differently, live differently, heal differently, and cope differently. We also make choices differently.
Often, when our truths are "challenged" by someone else's truths, we go haywire. Why?
Because when we are faced with a different truth than our own, we feel inadequate. We feel threatened. We doubt ourselves and our truths because if that's THEIR truth then, doesn't that invalidate mine? Absolutely not.
There is a difference between truths backed up by science and facts and a person's spiritual truth based on experience, trauma, mental capacity, and emotional maturity.
This knowledge should be shared as it would undoubtedly lessen insecurities, arguments, and dualities.
Now, the next time you are faced with someone's truth that differs from yours, stand firmly and unapologetically knowing that your truth does not get minimized. If anything, it gives you the chance to learn a new perspective, re-evaluate your own truth and make changes accordingly.
Nobody is "right" and there is ALWAYS room for growth and improvement.
Accept it or walk away
I used to be the person getting intimidated when people challenged my truth. I would get angry and "defend my honour" until I was blue in the face. The only result was a huge argument and separation from that person or I would silently take back my truth and resent them.
The thing with people is that their truth won't change unless there is significant growth on their part. Arguing with them and trying to convince them that your way is the better truth will only ignite the fires already blazing. So what do you do?
Do you minimize your own truth and angrily accept theirs?
You stand in your truth and ask yourself: Can I accept their truth aside mine or do I need to walk away to preserve my truth?
Your truth will trigger others
While you can be sensitive to other people's triggers, you cannot dim your truth to make THEM comfortable. Their triggers are not and will never be your responsibility. They have every right of control over their own person and always have a choice of staying or leaving.
Sometimes our truth hurts other people but just because your choices hurt someone else's feelings, it doesn't mean that your truth is wrong. It just means that they have a choice of their own to make.
At the end of the day, you cannot control someone else and they cannot control you. All you can do is control yourself. For example, you and your friend just had a baby. Both of you parent differently based on your own childhood upbringing and experiences throughout your life. Both of you have your truths and they differ. The choice now becomes, can you live with each other's truths? Or does it trigger you so much that you need to walk away? Maybe your friend is hurt by the fact that you won't budge on naptime and it clashes with her schedule. She feels rejected because she wanted to spend more time with you but you don't seem to care. Are you in the wrong because she feels hurt? No. Your choices are your truth. How she perceives it through her mental lens is not your problem.
Please keep in mind that I am not including actions that inflict abuse on another person when I say to stand in your truth and disregard others. These actions will always remain unacceptable!
Keep going, they'll catch up eventually
Sometimes, our truths differ so much from the masses that we are left standing alone.
It can be scary and you may be tempted to revert back to your old "truths". Don't. Be courageous and believe in yourself enough to say, "This is me. This is my truth and I own it."
Our truths can only go so far as our edges. The things we learn, absorb, experience, see, and heal, all have an influence on our truths. They are not set in stone. Our truths change as we grow. There cannot be one universal truth or else there would be no growth, no new knowledge, no need for communication, and no room for new ideas. Although change does happen, only WE can change our truths.
Nobody else has the power to manipulate what is true to you.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2021 Michelle Brady
Michelle Brady (author) from Ottawa, ON on May 28, 2021:
Dashingscorpio - Yes exactly! Thank you for adding your comment.
dashingscorpio from Chicago on May 28, 2021:
Oftentimes "the truth" is in the eye of the beholder.
Many people choose to believe what (they) want to believe.
More often than not it's not about "right" or "wrong" but rather "agree" or "disagree". We are looking for those who naturally agree with us. Compatibility trumps compromise.
It's usually a waste of time and energy trying to (convince) someone to change their way of thinking or their core beliefs.
People don't "change" unless (they) are unhappy.
Several years ago I wrote a book titled:
"My Cat Won't Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany).
When you come to the realization that your expectations for (this individual) are unrealistic you have a decision to make.
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.
Each of us gets to (choose) who we spend our time with.
Each of us has our own boundaries and "deal breakers".
The goal is to have a "soulmate" not a cellmate.
No one is "stuck" with anyone. Suffering is optional.
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde