Skip to main content

Define Loneliness

Devika enjoys sharing her work with a friendly community. Writing opens the mind. I live in a foreign country learned a foreign language .

Lonely people become sad people

Loneliness is defined as having a smaller, or less satisfying, network of social and intimate relationships than one desires.

To understand loneliness, pay attention to the following!

You can spend long periods of time alone without feeling lonely, and you can feel terribly lonely in a crowd.

The lonely, and non-lonely person does not differ in the quantity of their social interaction. Instead on the quality of such exchanges.

Lonely people spend more time with strangers, and acquaintances, and less time with friends and family than those who are not lonely.

Like social anxiety one can experience loneliness as both a short-lived state and a chronic long-term trait. As when you arrive on campus in your freshman year, you must have experienced a temporary sense of loneliness until you integrated into the college community.

Age, Gender, and Loneliness

Who suffers the most from loneliness?

Young adults and adolescents are the loneliest groups. As people get older and pass their adult age, they become less lonely when other relationships develop.

Why do adolescents and young adults become the loneliest?

They fall in and out of love, leave family, friends, and training and move to other places in search of better jobs and living.

These points can cause loneliness in most individuals. Loneliness decrease with age, when one gets older and mature, one tends to have long relationships and marriages. There are clear age differences in loneliness.

Gender differences are not as clear-cut. Women have greater loneliness than men, however, men and women are lonely for different reasons.

Women are lonely if they lack one-to-one emotional sharing, the different pattern of loneliness reflects a difference in the friendship patterns of males and females.

  • Causal Attributions for Loneliness.
  • Shyness.
  • Do not know how to start new relationships.
  • Unstable.
  • One has not tried hard enough to meet others.
  • Change is not for you.
  • You feel other people do not want to mingle with you.
  • You do not know anyone but hope things will get better when you meet other people.

How often do you feel unhappy doing many things alone?

How often do you feel you have nobody to talk to?

Can you tolerate being alone?

Do you wait for people to call, write, or email?

Do you feel completely alone?

Do you feel a lack of communication?

How often do you feel starved for the company?

Is it difficult to make friends?

Do you feel excluded from others?

What makes the social lives of most people so difficult?

A low self-esteem
Anxious individuals

People experience unpleasant emotions and social anxiety due to their concern with interpersonal evaluation. Social anxiety is not good for you, occasionally the individual avoids social interaction.

One can experience social anxiety even when alone, by simply anticipating an interaction in which you have a vested interest. When socially anxious you are less likely to initiate interactions and when in an interaction you talk less.

Sometimes stammer and stutter when speaking, one discloses less about themselves and sometimes withdraw from the anxiety-producing situation altogether.

Most people have problems with social anxiety the unfortunate consequence of chronic social anxiety, or social anxiousness is that it can trap a person into increasingly unpleasant social exchanges.

The fear of negative thoughts of others. One avoids eye contact and Appears nervous and jittery. Those who have well-developed social skills find it easy to talk to strangers, are perceived by others as friends are not easily angered and possess high self-esteem.

What makes a person socially skilled?

One of the most important factors determining social skills is the amount of personal attention given to one's partner in the interaction. On the other hand, the unskilled are more self-focused and are less responsive when conversing with people.

Such people habitually turn conversational topics to themselves without showing interest in their partner's topics. That may be more prevalent in individualist cultures than in those with collectivist orientations.

Scroll to Continue

The second factor related to social effectiveness is the ability to recognize and conform to social norms. People who have social skills problems often engage in situations improper behaviour.

They may make new acquaintances uncomfortable by disclosing very personal details about their lives. Although this sort of self-disclosure is important and valuable in intimate relationships.

It is considered inappropriate when interacting with strangers and new acquaintances. Such norm violations generally discourage future encounters. If you are having dinner for one that can be lonelier. You can have a friend if you are a good friend.

How does loneliness affect people?

A feeling of being isolated, not wanted in society and the worst of all when you are down and out. Loneliness can drain your energy. You are angry being lonely can make you insecure about life, and the lack of positivism becomes rare.

You can lose yourself and will not even know it. The inner you fade, and loneliness gets deeper, making you less powerful.

How do you feel when you listen to music during loneliness?

One can feel pain, and deep disappointment, something that can hurt very much from the inside. Many young people in this modern-day experience loneliness, it is sad to see such aspects of life going down in mysterious ways.

However, if people can create stable communities the issues of loneliness can be cured. Life can be miserable if you let it be, loneliness cause misery, and lots of pain.

Most people are failures when they take to drugs and make it their comfort zones, thinking that it is the only way to cure their loneliness. Such individuals worsen these moments.

The easy way out is to get numb and feel nothing of what you are going through. In the process, you are only ruining your health and life. Married, or single you can still experience loneliness. The way you choose to go about your life to prevent loneliness is up to you.

Define loneliness, however, you wish to, but the truth is you cannot avoid being lonely. It is understandable for everyone to know what it is like to be lonely.

Remember loneliness is part of your ability. Loneliness comes to life you got to accept part of your life as lonely. Individuals can be with everybody on every given day, and still, feel alone.

You cannot escape loneliness even if you had tried everything to feel good about yourself. The greatest of people are lonely as they choose to lead and can only do this alone. Everything in such cases is experienced alone. Whether you are in love or out of love, loneliness can still be experienced, never think any part of you is lonely.

When do you feel the loneliest?

Mostly when you need to be alone the feeling of loneliness creeps up.

Do you think loneliness is the human condition?

You can never outgrow loneliness, and not many people will understand your loneliness. Loneliness makes you feel unloved. If you are alone, it will not feel right or do right.

How can such things make the loneliness go away?

How would you define loneliness?

Loneliness affects most people in a community

Lonely in the wild

Lonely in the wild

Lonely and sadness in this woman

Lonely and sadness in this woman

Lonely and sad without anyone

Lonely and sad without anyone

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2013 Devika Primić


Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on September 09, 2013:

Au fait so agree with your valuable comment have great day.

C E Clark from North Texas on September 08, 2013:

Just as I seldom experience boredom, I also rarely if ever know loneliness. There is too much to keep a person occupied and I can never seem to get caught up. As a result I think there is little time to reflect on the fact that I do spend a lot of time alone, but that is my choice. I think loneliness may result more when people are alone and do not wish to be.

krushnach80 on July 01, 2013:

thank you madam and I reciprocate the same for you in short wish you the same.

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on July 01, 2013:

krushnach80 thanks for commenting have a lovely day,

krushnach80 on July 01, 2013:

You are partly Indian so I wish you Madam Namaste and this hub about loneliness is great ,I have experiecene of being alone for days or even weeks,so I know the feeling

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 24, 2013:

tobusiness thanks for commenting I always appreciate comments from all my followers.

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 24, 2013:

tillsontitan thanks for the positive votes up, useful and interesting glad you shared your thoughts here.

Jo Alexis-Hagues from Lincolnshire, U.K on June 24, 2013:

Devika, a very interesting write!.....I agree, one can feel alone in a crowd, I've only ever experienced a sense of loneliness when I was simply missing a loved one; Loneliness can hit particularly hard, when people become old and isolated.

Great article.

Mary Craig from New York on June 24, 2013:

Another informative hub DDE! I have been very fortunate and can say I have never really felt lonely. I've been homesick, or I've missed a particular loved one (when my soon to be husband was in the Army), but I don't think I've ever been lonely.

You have made very interesting points here and I voted this hub up, useful, and interesting.

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 24, 2013:

James-wolve thanks for the vote up, and comments have a nice day

Tijani Achamlal from Morocco on June 24, 2013:

Interesting and informative.Thanks for this perspective.Voted up

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 24, 2013:

ahorseback such a great thought and thanks for that.

ahorseback on June 24, 2013:

I just wrote and published a poem -inspired by YOU ! Thank you for yours ! We are never alone , I'm still learning that !......:-}

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 24, 2013:

ahorseback yeah so true life can be lonely if you don't know how to live, thanks for commenting, so glad you did, have a lovely day

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 24, 2013:

So glad you stopped by and read Define Loneliness at some point in ones life they do experience loneliness thanks so very much Made, you are one of my regular supporters have a lovely day

ahorseback on June 24, 2013:

DDE , Now almost 60 , I wish I had understood these attributes early on in life , I swear some people are born lonely ! Or that it's in our blood , hereditary ? Who knows , there is definitely a difference between a lonely mood and a lonely person , that's all I know ! Awesome hub ! Perfect !............Ed

Madeleine Salin from Finland on June 24, 2013:

I experienced loneliness when I was 19 years old and moved away from home. I didn't know anybody in the new place, but I wrote letters to my friends all the time. I made some new friends and since then I've been surrounded by good people.

Now I think the most lonely people are the very old people, living alone in their homes. I meet them every day in my job. They are not strong enough to go somewhere to meet other people, and most of the time, everyone they used to know have passed away. It's so sad.

This was a great hub that gave me much to think about.

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 22, 2013:

Vinaya Ghimire Thanks for commenting on Define Loneliness, An Abused Teenage Girl and on A Trip To Bosnia-Herzegovina-Mostar it was so nice of you to stop by have a good weekend.

Vinaya Ghimire from Nepal on June 21, 2013:

Loneliness is a feeling and has nothing to do with people being around you. You can be lonely even in a crowd, where are people may visit in your memories when you are alone.

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 17, 2013:

Joy56 so glad you stopped by thanks very much for reading my hub have a good day

Joy56 on June 17, 2013:

I enjoyed this, and agree with your wise words. I have lonely times, but mostly they are not planned. Your work has made me think....... Loneliness has a depth to it, that needs understanding.....

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 15, 2013:

rajan jolly Thanks for commenting have a nice weekend

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 15, 2013:

Mhatter99 thanks for commenting time alone is good for individuals if when needed

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 15, 2013:

Faith Reaper , so glad you stopped by thanks for the vote up and have a great weekend

Rajan Singh Jolly from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar, INDIA. on June 15, 2013:

I am alone when I want some time for myself; otherwise I do not have the time to feel lonely.

Interesting write, Devika.

Martin Kloess from San Francisco on June 14, 2013:

Thank you for this. As a public figure, I enjoyed my moments alone. Now... ?

Faith Reaper from southern USA on June 14, 2013:

Excellent hub here on loneliness. I think we can become lonely when we feel disconnected from people, even when we are in a room full of people, we can still feel lonely.

I think it is so important that we no socially isolate ourselves and real human contact and interaction with others.

Voted up ++++

Blessings, Faith Reaper

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 14, 2013:

lovedoctor926 thanks so good to read a comment from you, have a nice one yourself

lovedoctor926 on June 14, 2013:

Great hub. As an extrovert, I enjoy being in the company of other people, but I love my alone time too. I have too many hobbies to worry about feeling lonely. Have a nice weekend:)

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 14, 2013:

rose-the planner loneliness can ruin a person's life if they don't choose to be lonely and don't know how to make friends thanks for the votes up and sharing have a lovely weekend.

rose-the planner from Toronto, Ontario-Canada on June 14, 2013:

This was a very insightful article. I found your observation about how an individual can feel lonely even amongst a crowd of people interesting and true. I myself have watched people at gatherings look like fish out of water. You can tell they felt lonely and uncomfortable. This was a great article. Thank you for sharing. (Voted Up) -Rose

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 14, 2013:

billybuc, thanks and you too

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 14, 2013:

soconfident thanks for sharing your thoughts here

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on June 14, 2013:

Good reflections my friend. I have rarely experienced loneliness, but when I have it was exactly as you described.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Derrick Bennett on June 14, 2013:

Well put as a young adult you begin to branch out and try new things and sometimes you can find yourself alone. I been though that for 4 years.

Devika Primić (author) from Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 14, 2013:

Thanks fro stopping by have a lovely weekend

shreya agrawal on June 14, 2013:

very true .)

Related Articles