Dealing With Complicated Men
A man is something complicated and something hard, especially when he wants no one figuring him out. Girls go for the guys who are complicated because they like the danger in figuring them out and are willing to give everything up for a complicated guy. However this usually ends in a heart break.
Relationship or establishing a relationship is a complicated event – for girls especially. We don't want any guys using us, or making us feel bad – but we want attention and plenty of it. So we go for the complicated guy, assuming the worst of ourselves when he doesn't call or when we don't see him. Sometimes these assumptions take us down a very dark and dangerous path, where our lives are filled with so much darkness and ill will to the opposite sex. When these assumptions cloud our minds it is best we think and get whatever is on our chest off our chest and come clean with whatever we are thinking. Because when the mind is shadowed by darkness, the soul is lead down a bad and dangerous path in a complicated relationship.
Some women spend most of their time trying to figure out the complicated man they got. They constantly want to know what the guy is thinking. They are constantly asking questions and trying to figure him out, when his brain is sometimes hard as stone. However there is a negative side to a man whose brain is hard as stone, that negative side is abuse. Domestic abuse doesn't only happen to women alone, it happens to men – but men remain silent because they don't want to look unmanly. However for women when they nag too much trying to understand the guy - they do get abuse. Sometimes it isn't really the nagging that set it off, sometimes it is already built into the guy that he is an abuser and women so attracted to his bad guy look they fall hook, line and sinker. However a guy only abuses something when something really irritates him, which most of the time it is a nagging woman.
To understand a man, first you must understand is primarily need, which is sex. Men are primal and that is always on their mind. It makes me laugh, to know that is the truth. If not sex, then work, if not work then friends. Sometimes a woman and maintaining a long lasting relationship with a woman is the last thing on a man mind. Hence the reason, you could meet this super hot guy and give him you number. Waiting for him to call you, but he doesn't – because if sex wasn't in the picture then no way is he calling you – unless you have gotten him to care. Complicated men, take a long while before they actually start caring, sweet guys care instantaneously – complicated ones they do they take a long distant while before any true emotion on their part comes into reality.
Many women have been fooled by the primal need of a man; some go around wanting to know why he did this and why he did that. How come he doesn't call? I gave him what he wanted, why does he feels so distant? The reason for this is that, once his primal need has been satisfy he has no real need, unless you get him to care, which really takes a while.
In the mind of a man, is the image of immortal beauty. That immortal beauty is most likely his wife, the woman he would one day marry. Other women to him are play things, especially when they put themselves out as play things, they become play things. Never give yourself too easy to a guy, because he would just use you and then you will walk around wonder why is he so complicated.
The reason why women are fool so many times, it is because we don't listen to our heart. We want love and security more than anything else in the world. We want to be held and we want something long and committed. Sometimes our wants overrides our instincts causing us to get into a relationship with a complicated soul. When our wants overrides our instincts, we end up in a whole heap of trouble. We must never let out wants override our instincts. A woman's instincts when it comes down to the people in her life must remain without complication so that she can have a direct link to the source of all things positive. Complicated issues, overrides our natural instincts causing us to be lead astray in the game of love – this is very bad for a woman. A man is always connected to his instincts, because he is primal, however women are emotional and when complicated issues get in the way of our instincts we don't see well. Sometimes we don't know well either.
In order to listen to our instincts, we must first put away the complicated thoughts of love and when to find love. Sometimes we must behave like men and let our primal understanding lead the way for us, instead of our emotional understanding.
In order to understand a complicated man,
- First got to leave him alone, if he really interested he will come your way.
- You got to stop caring whether he calls or not. Stop caring totally -
- Do your own thing and live your own life
- Understand love comes at any age now, no one is rushing you to fall in love
- Be yourself around him and if he is not the talkative type and there is nothing attracting you to him – forget him and move on.
- Laugh and be happy
- Do things to make you happy -
MF on January 12, 2020:
Frank Riese on August 09, 2017:
Complicated men are abusers. Complicated women? Men just have to try harder.
Those are pretty much the top articles you find on either issue. The double standard is so mind numbing you need to be a fossil or absolutely blind not to see this in the current year.
There is so much shitting on men, constant bashing, blaming, painting as abusers. It makes me depressed. It's a constant stream of blame, shaming, and bashing.
captain_ahab_jr on January 01, 2017:
as a man, observing other men behave this way. I totally agree. To the guy who takes issue with the article, take it down buddy no one is talking about you.
I think that the majority of men fit your assumptions, for a myriad of reasons but the end result is the same: hurt feelings.
feels like people are not mature enough to know they should not hurt other peoples feelings and if they do, apologize.
anyway... my 2 cents.
STGiggles on July 20, 2014:
If this is true then I prefer to be single and remain that way . Apparently everyone else is just faking it .
trinigirl (author) from Trinidad & Tobago on December 22, 2012:
this article was written last year - august or September - it dealt with something going on - i didn't bother to read your whole comment - in bet you - that who ever u r are - you are taking issue because u feel u got a bone to pick.
Jamie on December 22, 2012:
This article is full of assumptions, stereotypes, half-truths and blatant contradictions. First of I would like to say that you are clearly not a man and you should not act as if you know all of us. This article portrays men in a negative light and assumes that any problems in a relationship must be have a root cause of a man. Let me give you a few points in which you are clearly erroneous.
1) Not all men are primal sex driven primates.
''To understand a man, first you must understand is primarily need, which is sex. Men are primal and that is always on their mind.''
So your telling me that you know what men are thinking, 100% of the time? How you can have these perceptions and still have the mental cohesion to write an article is mind boggling... If you knew what men are thinking all the time then clearly you would have no trouble dealing with men, even the complicated ones.
2) Not all men ''hit it and quit it'' and it isn't always a marathon effort to make him care
''The reason for this is that, once his primal need has been satisfy he has no real need''
You insinuate that all men simply desire to sleep with you and then leave. This is a generalization, certainly this is true for some men, but these men are simple right (i.e. not complicated). We do have emotions and some of us can actually expresses them rationally.
If you are in a peer group where these perceptions are true, then I would consider removing yourself from them. Maybe you should consider that maybe you are attracting some of this behavior towards you with your own perceptions.
TL;DR: Don't pretend to know what we think. This article clearly show that you don't
John on December 20, 2012:
To be honest, I would rather stay a virgin than date a girl who has been to this site.
Angelo on September 11, 2012:
Thnks...it really wrks..
trinigirl (author) from Trinidad & Tobago on July 22, 2011:
wow thank you for enjoying the hub
Reynold Jay from Saginaw, Michigan on July 22, 2011:
You are close to Cardisa with this. She has a HOT HUB going today much like this one. I enjoyed this very much. You have this laid out beautifully and it is easy to understand. Keep up the great HUBS. I must give this an “Up ONE and HOT HOT HOT!” I'm now your fan! RJ
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trinigirl (author) from Trinidad & Tobago on July 22, 2011:
SpiffyD from The Caribbean on July 22, 2011:
Interesting hub trinigirl. Some persons seem to enjoy drama and excitement. "Nice" and "straightforward" guys may not be as much fun in that regard. The attraction for the mystery men would be significant. It's a pity that they can frustrate and intrigue simultaneously.