Tony worked across Saudi Arabia in Riyadh, Al-Khobar and Jeddah, where he met his wife who has worked there for twelve years.
Dating girls in Saudi Arabia
This Hub about dating in Saudi Arabia (KSA) is very much aimed at the men working in Saudi Arabia who want to date Muslim Saudi girls and women of other nationalities. This is aimed at helping them to find a woman here in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia (KSA) and contains lots of advice and stories given to me by others here in the kingdom – not my own experiences I promise (my wife would kill me). Therefore the stories may be exaggerated or complete fiction – or maybe they are totally true, I will let you be the judge!
If you are female and wish to date a man then I am sure the advice here could be applied equally as well, but please be aware that where some men may just be slapped on the wrist if found doing something they should not; it is likely that your punishment would be severe. You could easily find yourself in prison locked up for deportation with lashes to endure every Friday for your sentence. Most women found in the company of men, especially foreign women from less wealthy countries will be charged with prostitution and jailed accordingly before being deported from the kingdom. If you are deported for these reasons, you will find that they will stamp prostitute in Arabic in your passport. If you are a married woman, just don't take the risk of losing your head over some young handsome man.
But that aside, it is not impossible to go on dates in KSA and meet some very lovely women here, after all I met my wife in the kingdom where she had worked for ten years as a nurse. You can also meet girls that will happily spend time with you for a few hundred riyals. Have fun whilst dating women and Muslim Saudi girls in Saudi Arabia, but stay very safe at all times.
Finding Love in Saudi Arabia
More about Saudi Segregation Laws
You may wish to find out more about the various rules and regulations that are enforced in Saudi Arabia, follow this link to discover more about Saudi Rules.
The Rules of Dating in Saudi Arabia
Dating in Saudi Arabia can be quite difficult, as you are aware, you can only be alone with a woman if she is your wife or direct blood relative (sister, mother, daughter) therefore mixing with women is very difficult in the open unless you have nerves of steel and very lucky!
If you are caught with a woman who is not your sister, mother, daughter or wife you are going to be in big trouble, she in even worse! You can very easily be arrested for this offense and if any lewdness is alleged you could be finding yourself spending some serious time in jail or worse!
Should the woman be married and Adultery is alleged the penalty is death, although this is usually applied only to the woman! Should you actually be sentenced to death by stoning for this offense, you will only be buried to the waist, should you be able to escape then you are free, women are buried to the neck, but can also win their freedom by escaping! This is probably not the best ending to a romantic date in Saudi Arabia!
Saudi Arabia, the Place to Date Saudi Girls
What is like on a western compound
If you want to know more about finding a western compound and what life is really like you can follow this link to discover more about Saudi Compound life.
Finding Love on a Compound in Saudi Arabia
Most westerners living on the compounds can have the opportunities to meet ladies within the confines of the compounds, however, unless your compound is a particularly social one with many guests arriving your choices are generally restricted to the wives and daughters of other residents as I have only met one female resident who was “single”, her husband was in Australia. You are also not going to be dating Saudi Girls as they will not be allowed on to the compounds to socialize with you!
Most single women or women living in Saudi Arabia without their husbands will be housed in female only compounds or villas and will find their movements severely restricted; often with a curfew by which they have to be home.
Chasing other residents wives and daughters can be a recipe for disaster and I would suggest that you avoid this route, no matter how desperate your situation may be. This does happen frequently and at times very messily, with one man that I knew disappearing without trace!
If your compound is a fairly social one, then you may find that there are nurses and the like invited as guests to various events, more often than not Filipino although occasionally other nationalities. Depending on your morals and motivation, true love vs release, I am told (just told I promise) that many of these women are as frustrated as the men. They are as in need of a date in Saudi Arabia as you are in most cases!
The other options come in the guise of maids that offer freelance work such as cleaning across the compounds, most compounds try to keep them out as strictly they are illegal, however they seem to be able to persuade the male guards to let them in somehow! These occasionally offer services other than just scrubbing your pipework!
The maids and other female workers officially employed in the compound may also be a source of companionship, this may be easy or difficult depending on the compound management, one I stayed on had all female workers locked up safely by 7pm every night for their own protection.
However, do not take liberties or force yourself on them, these girls may come from poor countries and work in underpaid jobs, but they are not all going to accept a little extra pay to help you out and don’t assume that because one will they all will!
Don’t get yourself in trouble, a “friend” of mine ended up “dating” the mistress of the compound manager, this caused all sorts of problems when it was discovered as these things often are – moving on to another he then found that she also was the mistress of the compound manager! I am now looking for a job as a compound manager if anyone knows of any openings!
Dating Via Bluetooth in KSA
Finding Saudi Girls to date off compound in Saudi Arabia
Off compound in Saudi Arabia, if you are a westerner, you will often get smiles and little glances from ladies of many different nationalities, don’t think that these ladies, again often from poor countries, have fallen in love with your potbelly, untrimmed nasal hair and warts, they know that westerners are generally well paid and desperate!
Carefully passing on your phone number without being observed is the order of the day here, being six feet tall and handsome of course I have occasionally even had ladies secretly pass me their numbers – not that I ever used them! (Or the number).
Ladies will happily chat with you and flirt very naughtily on the phone with you, obviously if you want to chat more with them it would be best to send them a small amount of load (phone credit) maybe 50 or 100 riyals, you don’t want to appear cheap after all. This applies to ladies of all nationalities (and ages - remember many are veiled when they pass their number so you never quite know what you are getting into!)
A cute girl I know used be passed numbers frequently by men everywhere she went and talked to them all, she made an additional 4000SAR per month selling the load she received to her friends and others, when you consider wage was only 1000SAR as a cleaner on a compound this is quite significant, and she never had to meet a guy ever!
You may also receive random phone calls, more often than not men; people here seem to dial random numbers in the hope of chatting to someone interesting, I had one girl that kept phoning me for up to 10 minutes or more at a time, she would speak a little (very poor English) then start making all sorts of strange noises, what she was doing I am not sure as I had a very sheltered upbringing!
This is the hard bit – meeting the woman! If you are alone, how do you get the woman to meet you for a date in Saudi Arabia?
Dream girl in Saudi Arabia?
Meeting a Girl in Saudi Arabia
You can be brave and take risks, many people do when dating girls in Saudi Arabia! It is actually quite rare for a westerner to be stopped and challenged about the woman he is with, although it does happen. But be sensible, you are a westerner, being accompanied by a fully veiled woman will raise a few suspicions, best for whoever you take out on a date in KSA to behave in a western manner even if not western, so no veils and uncovered hair.
A westerner walking with a Filipino or Indonesian girl will attract quite a few stares, especially in Riyadh, which is far more conservative than other cities. This can be uncomfortable for the woman and there is the potential for someone to say something. Many Arabic women look quite western so there are fewer stares, but they are harder to date (I'm told!)
Going out to dinner or a walk around the mall and a quiet, romantic coffee can be achieved, but little else, getting a room is quite difficult, requiring your ID and so on! The hotel is not going to turn a blind eye to you bringing a woman to your room I promise you! I do know one hotel in Riyadh where you can get from the parking to the rooms without being seen going through the lobby - if you need to know just message me.
Should Muslim women even cover their eyes!
Bringing girls on compound to date in Saudi Arabia.
If you are on a smaller compound and are on good terms with the gate guards then you may be ok, keep them happy with regular tips for good service and so on and your life will be full and joyous. But look out for the national guard, they may report the compound guard even if they say nothing about you!
The normal routine when someone comes onto the compound is for their ID to be taken and it will be faxed with your name to the ministry of "we know what you are doing" for them to keep tabs on you. The compound will not let a single lady in to see you as they are looking out for your morals and your eternal soul! So unless you have an arrangement as all ready stated, don't do it!
The other option is if you are friendly with a married couple who are happy to chaperone your trips and liaisons, this is by far the safest manner of dating in Saudi! But most married couples are unlikely to facilitate meaningful overnight relationships!
You may also be lucky enough to know someone on the compound who regularly invites single girls to parties or other events at their home, my wife and I always had several single girls at our place every weekend, so many of the guys wanted to be my friend!
Bringing Girls home in Saudi Arabia
Bringing girls home for dating off compound in Saudi Arabia
Living off compound can be easier if you want to date girls in Saudi Arabia, you have no guards preventing you from bringing anyone to your premises. However, there are eyes everywhere, a “friend” who lives off compound was stopped by a group of guys belonging to the mosque nearby and questioned about the number of Filipino ladies seen coming in and out of the apartment building that he lived in, who were obviously visiting me (whoops cat out of the bag). However, this was not actually the case, 6 nurses had been lodged in one of the apartments temporarily by a nearby hospital – but this did not stop the very rapid spread of rumors and my apprehension by the concerned members of the community, people are very quick to assume the worst.
Bunny Boilers in Saudi Arabia
Some of the women here are very protective of their men, after all they show status and can be a very handy additional income. A friend met and had a sexual relationship with an Indonesian lady that he met at a nearby mall, he also met one of her friends who flirted with him and he made it clear that he was interested. The first girl was kidnapped and acid poured on her face to scar her so that my friend would no longer be interested in her! The second freely admitting that she had done it and stalking the man to the point where he had to move.
The same man having not learnt his lesson the first time got involved with another group of women, again Indonesian, again finding yet another stalker who had a rival kidnapped and gang raped after the man refused to see her as he preferred the other woman! Beware, there are some crazy women out there, be very careful who you date in Saudi Arabia.
Islamic Disco - Dressed to kill
Matchmaking in Saudi Arabia
By far the safest way of meeting and dating a woman in Saudi Arabia is through matchmaking, another couple introducing you and chaperoning everything that you do. If you are looking for a meaningful relationship then this is the best way forward. However, not always the best way if you are looking for a little release!
If you want to know more about Saudi women and living and working in the kingdom as a woman then have a look at this article about women in Saudi Arabia.
Living with a woman in Saudi Arabia.
If you want to live with a woman then there is a very quick and easy way to do so, convert to become a Muslim and “marry” her, there are different “levels” of marriage so you can have a marriage of convenience that allows you to travel freely together with the right paperwork and then say goodbye when you leave the country! I know only one westerner that has taken this route, but it is very common with other nationalities – especially the ones that are already Muslim.
On compound it could be possible to have a maid "living" with you, however, this is best kept very quiet as you never know who may say something to the wrong person. All it takes is a shortage of housing and someone that knows you are living illegally that wants to find a quick way to generate a vacancy!
Taking Girls to date in private places in Saudi Arabia for dating
It is possible to hire some nice villas with pools that are completely private which are ideal for small parties, in fact some even have smaller areas without pools that can be rented out on an hourly basis for very tired travelers! If you wanted to know how to find one of these then you could always drop me a line and I could pass you on to a few friends of mine.
Some of these places are less "religious" about checking your ID and so on so can be used for liaisons, however many will ask for ID, going straight to the guard with a nice tip can very often alleviate this problem.
These are ideal places for taking nice Saudi Girls to date in Saudi Arabia, especially if you are not looking for long term love in the kingdom!
Final word of warning about dating girls in Saudi Arabia
It is not allowed! Don't get caught dating girls in Saudi Arabia, especially don't get caught dating Saudi girls in Saudi Arabia! Saudi girls can look very cute, but if you are caught with one as a foreigner, you are going to be in really hot water.
If you are the nervous type on a date in Saudi Arabia or the woman with you is, you will stand out like a sore thumb if you go out in public, if you walk and act as if you own the place no one will confront you!
I have never been stopped in public with a woman (my wife), however, I get a lot of stares and comments, mainly from other women. I have been stopped at checkpoints, but I have always been waved on when they realize that I don't speak any Arabic (my wife is fluent) without my ID being checked. Most of the police would rather victimize an Indian or a Filipino who will not fight back than a loud mouthed westerner.
The wisdom contained above is the work of many of my friends who have dated many women in Saudi Arabia and has been passed to me as being accurate, it is not my own experience - honestly! (My wife would kill me.) So if you want to date Saudi girls or other women in Saudi Arabia just be very careful indeed.
A final Word on Meeting Women in Saudi Arabia
There are around 8 million expats in Saudi Arabia, the majority of which are male so you can imagine this makes for a lot of very frustrated men. Dating however, is just one aspect of being in the kingdom that many find difficult. You can read more about being an expatriate in Saudi Arabia by following this link: Expatriate in KSA.
Feel free to leave any comments or questions that you have in the section below and I will do my utmost to answer them.
Dating Girls in Saudi Arabia, a final warning.
This hub is part of a series of hubs about being an expat in Saudi Arabia (you can find out more by clicking that link!) Dating in Saudi Arabia or even just being alone with someone of the opposite sex can be very risky and could lose you your job, your liberty and any benefits you may have accrued through your employment.
Be very careful indeed as to what you are risking to chase women (or men) within Saudi Arabia. Maybe you will find true love dating in Saudi Arabia, or maybe you will find yourself losing everything for a very brief liaison. I also do not recommend any approaches to Saudi women themselves; it is one thing being caught messing around with a Filipina maid and another thing entirely being found alone with the daughter of the chief of police's third cousin!
Dating in Saudi Arabia is a risk, if you can stay on the compounds or be in the company of a married couple who can chaperone you it is far safer. But if you want to take risks and take a nice Saudi girl out be very careful indeed.
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on August 07, 2016:
There are no longer any hotels in which you will be able to book in as an unmarried couple. The one which I used to know how to smuggle in a woman has since closed the route that I used. However some of the bigger hotels that are busier are not going to do too much checking if you book a room and then bring in a woman while it is busy - it is a risk - but then it depends on whether you are willing to take that risk. Remember also that the person that will be punished the most will be the woman if you get caught.
Jscam92 on August 04, 2016:
Hi Leanman, I m visiting Riyadh in short time and would like to know in which hotel I can date with my wifey? How can she come to my hotel room withou any hurdles? Any idea about such hotel in Riyadh !! Pls advice.thanks
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on May 17, 2016:
If she is your wife and you are her sponsor then it will say so on the Iqama so there is no need to bring your marriage contract. However if you are not her sponsor then it would always be best to carry a copy of your contract with you to avoid trouble at Saudi checkpoints.
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on May 03, 2016:
Thank you for your comments Andre.
I am glad to hear that someone working in Saudi Arabia has the required self-control.
Andre on May 03, 2016:
I currently work in KSA and intend on doing so for a few more years. I have a wife and daughter back home. Personally i think it best to make your HOUSE as comfortable as humanly possible (Spend the extra few SAR) and keep to yourself. If the urge really gets to you to socialise, make the trip to Bahrain, spend the night there as not to get caught under the influence, and return. I think it is important to keep mind that we are not in our country and as such must respect the laws and religions of our host country as they would in ours.
My colleagues have been nothing but understanding and accomodating of both my culture and religion. Though not a topic of discussion of course.
Again, I think it best to keep it in your pants and be faithfull to your families. Or even bring your families here. The laws may appear very strict to us, but we have weird laws to. If you do not break the laws, you have nothing to fear. So just be a good boy ok. Lol...
Ultimately, a good hub thank you.
Mel Carriere from Snowbound and down in Northern Colorado on October 11, 2015:
Looks like dating in Saudi Arabia is fraught with peril. At my age I think I would just stay in the compound with my laptop, a date with very few complications. Great hub!
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on September 29, 2015:
Sorry to hear that you are having problems, I suggest that you talk to your husband as he is the one that you have the problem with.
Sandra on September 28, 2015:
My husband is an American contractor on a company compound and I have discovered some very reliable evidence recently that he is having a relationship with a African housemaid working in Saudi arabia. He denies the affair but I do have correspondences and pictures as well as her name, phone number and Iquama number. What is my recourse against her? She is our daughter's age and we have been married 30 years...I will deal with my husband when he is no longer living in Saudi Arabia but the correspondence very clearly shows that she is fully aware of his marital status and also is trying to get pregnant....
Ex-ExpatInd on September 10, 2015:
Hello Lean Man,
I used to live there.I grew up there.I get what you mean by hypocritical society.I agree.But you westerners are the privileged class.They have faults but also there is a good side too. I miss Shawrma and Mussakil.
Had made friends from various cultures.You learn.
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on April 16, 2015:
Hi Moe, you can email through my profile page here on HP if you want to ask any further questions about Saudi Arabia.
peachy from Home Sweet Home on December 14, 2014:
with them wrapped up like a mummy, isn't it hard to see their face except for the dazzling eyes?
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on September 30, 2014:
Just mail me, use the profile link top right to access the profile page where there are instructions for how to contact me.
Loneranger on September 30, 2014:
Great Blog dude. You did loads of research. Anyways i would really appreciate if you could mail me on my email address below as i need help in some matters. Cheers mate!
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on June 30, 2014:
Hi Tim. You are welcome to your opinion, look forward to reading your alternative guide when you publish it.
tim on June 29, 2014:
I think the writer is biased toward his opinion. The article evolved from an expat guide, to some hatred towards the locals and degrading of the other nationalities. I don't think it is right to rank westerners top of the others, neither considering the western life style and culture as the right way of life and start judge others based on that.
Spemcer on June 03, 2014:
wow... I guess I should probably get married if i wanna go to saudi
Eng.Gina Knet on February 05, 2014:
I am Eng. Gina Kent from US (firstname.lastname@example.org)
khan on January 15, 2014:
I need a girl in khobar for dating any nationality girls can contact me.
GTK on December 05, 2013:
true story. im a saudi guy but for some saudis ppl like saudi girl said "troosh " which means the garbage from the see .mmmm yeah that's me . Dating her mostly depends on blind date or as you said giving your number secretly i used to be an asshole whwn i was young a lot of girls playing here and there but there is no such a thing called one night stand in saudi . And we dont have clubs what a shame because i wanted to try my twerking skills in a club okay so every kind of "troosh" has a diffrent culture than the arabian one so mine is more mindly open than the saudi's culture . Some of the saudis should learn how to treat the ladys. Fill her way by flowers (from bed room to kitchen ) kidding .... no really they said that we treat our sis and wifes like a queen .... bullshit
msg for all saudis if you thought that you are perfect and following the islam in perfect way don't forget what the prophet said before he died :take care of your women (he said it three times) women are mother and sister and doughter women are the warm hug in cold winter ..
Take care of them guyz or leave them taking care of you or just leave them they are able to do more than guyz sometimes
and for girls who is intersted in sex 016****** xD
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on December 04, 2013:
I have walked along the corniche there in Khobar a few times talking to young ladies without problem, although I do not recommend this publicly in any place in Saudi Arabia.
There is NO safe place to meet women publicly in any part of Saudi Arabia, you always have to take a risk!
The best is to meet on a western compound or to be in the company of a married couple so that you have a chaperone.
Vincent Moss on December 03, 2013:
Hi there! THX for all the info mate! Would U possibly know of ANY potentially safe haven in Al Khobar... as close as POSSIBLE to the
CORNICHE! AL MANA GENERAL HOSPITAL AREA!
THANKS SOOO MUCH...In ADVANCE!!! LOL!
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on October 30, 2013:
Good luck with your appeal, although i would guess that it would be very easy for you to just take a walk down to your local souk and smile at some of the ladies there until you find one that smiles back.. Be careful who you answer your phone to - it may be a mutawa!
Hello Ladies on October 30, 2013:
Im a British Expat in Saudi Arabia
Looking for female company
Ali (Sad Single Saudi Man) on October 08, 2013:
HAHAHA ... thanks ... yeah I should do that :)
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on October 07, 2013:
Thanks for reading and I hope that you manage to solve your problems there in Saudi very soon, maybe you need to take a break over in Dubai or Bahrain for a few days.
Sad Single Saudi Man on October 07, 2013:
Thank you for this article ... I have been in this ugly place full of sad people for 10 months and it has been nothing but a misery.
I found your article while googling dating in Riyadh in "ARABIC" ... I don't know how ..lol
it was blocked but I accessed this through a VPN ...
It is sad being a saudi single man coming from a conservative family and looking for meaningful relationship in this place
I think you have some misunderstanding for saudi women but I trust that your intentions are pure ... I will read Saudi Arabian women next :)
Thank you again for your article ... it does not solve my problem but it was a very good view on life here in Riyadh
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on September 22, 2013:
Thanks for taking the time to reply and for the points that you make about your own society. I see plenty of faults with our society but at least we have a choice and we openly admit those faults. It makes a pleasant change for someone to say that things need to change rather than just insulting the West.
We have a saying in my country that "if you live in a glass house; don't throw stones." Too many people leave comments on here regarding the west and completely ignore what really happens in Saudi.
Abdullah on September 22, 2013:
Coming across this “hub”, or whatever you call it, was great. I appreciate the great effort, hope you keep up the great work. Born in alKhobar and raised in Jeddah, I don’t know what I would’ve done if I were a woman having to conform to rigid, unjust, medieval gender roles. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I were a national of a less fortunate country and the need compelled me to take a position in KSA, having to withstand the demeaning, crude, untoward bigotry and racism that runs deep through much of the social structure here. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I were a Saudi man who fell head over heels for a girl that he can’t meet or, what the hell, marry because the family doesn’t approve and parents get so much say in their son’s wife…. I can go on and on….and on… These social restrictions we impose on ourselves cause so much unnecessary misery. So to those who keep saying life here is “better” or that whoever wrote in this “hub” is an ass for pointing it out, it is NOT better “in most respects” and thank you sir for pointing it out. I’ve seen how many expats are treated in airports and it makes me sick. I’ve seen how much a girl in a clinic takes abuse from her husband or her father and not being able to do much, it makes me feel like shit. Yes, every country deals with their own problems, so let’s deal with ours, admitting them is a start.
On a positive note, change is happening and people’s minds are opening up, I see it year after year. The rates of people admitting being “liberal” or “secular” is thankfully skyrocketing. It’s going to take time, but it will happen. Let’s not forget that this is a nascent country and that as recently as the 70’s, while the west had just gone passed its puberty “their sexual revolutions”, the government here was heavily involved in urbanizing the nomads that still lived in the desert. Love and peace to all…
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on September 21, 2013:
Hi "Intelligence", obviously you have chosen your name as a request rather than a statement of your ability! I find your comments very offensive and just typical of small minded people like you.
You are typical of many of the people in Saudi I have met who feel the need to insult and belittle people from other countries that are poorer than yours. It will be interesting to see how things are when the oil finally runs out!
Calling Filipinos and other Asians "pug-nosed" is hardly the action of someone who is a real Muslim who should respect everyone! Personally I find Asian women very attractive. I think even if you were attracted to them I am sure that they would find your attitude repugnant!
Have a nice life "Intelligence", I hope that you get what you deserve when you reach paradise and we will see if you are a true Muslim!
Intelligence on September 20, 2013:
Good stuff boy
But, if I were u then I wouldn't help ppl to do such as thing like this .
However, if you really successful Pearson then try to advise them about how the can be great businessmen or women and so..!
I was really a gourd and I met so many foreign ppl specially from USA and UK and found them so quite and polite but I know young ppl are bit more active and loved taking risk with some challenge ( just like you marred boy ) by the way how many pug-nosed girls you gate lol
Those type of girls with all the respect to the Nationalities I would never ever go for one of them ,
Moreover, as was saying up there
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on September 18, 2013:
If you end up staying on a mixed compound you will probably find that you are the only single woman (not with her parents) on the compound. So I would guess that your dating prospects would be pretty good even if you have no teeth and a wooden leg.
In a country where most men have limited contact with women, and the sexes are not allowed to freely mingle; I can assure you that you will be hit on regularly whether you like it or not.
claire on September 17, 2013:
I am moving to Jeddah in December. I am a single western woman from Atlanta, Ga, but I am 42. Will I still have dating prospects? I am a financier.
Nish on September 10, 2013:
Mr lean man that is a lot of information u shared, appreciate your work in spreading the knowledge, couple of my mates migrated from bahrain to saudi since last couple of years, ur hub gave me a clear picture how it works there,
really a very good work, hats off mr lean.
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on September 09, 2013:
I guess it depends how you are bought up, if you are bought up from birth with men acting this way and women allowing it then you will believe it is right and normal. Every society is different with regards to what they believe and how they behave.
However that does not make it right and the behavior of many men in Saudi really makes me angry, they would be arrested for their behavior in many western countries.
sweety93 on September 08, 2013:
yes ,but i grew up with very bad impression about this country.well,going through comments,i noticed how arab women still are justifying that arab women never date. well,they are human and have rights to do watever they want. atleast they are better then men who can marry as many women they like and leave and sleep around with slaves. i wonder why these women never revolt back,r they really ok with these rules made by this guy who had only sex in mind, and used God 'name for his fantasies. introduction is nt even required !
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on September 08, 2013:
Thank you for your comments Sweety93, very nice to have a woman's viewpoint aired on here. Life is not good here for women and I certainly would not bring a teenage girl to Saudi Arabia. The men who live here do not have a good attitude towards women and I have witnessed much in the way of very poor behavior. I hope that you have a much better life now that you are settling elsewhere.
sweety93 on September 07, 2013:
i am an indian muslim girl who spent all her teen age in saudia, this place is unbelievably weird, men are so frustrated .although i dont like covering my face,but men here are desperate and the way they stare at you,its better to remain covered. thnx to the amazin rules made 1400 years ago..as if its only about sex when we talk about women,else they dont exist. i remember i was young and cvrd in abaya,even then many times,i got touched indecently and passed on numbers...it really affected me,i felt sick and i was so young back then.. thank god i left that country, i have a job and have amazin non muslim bf...i keep goin back every year only cuz my parents are still there,but its so damn borin,no movie halls,no lounges,no LIFE...only desperate eyes amd ugly frstated faces..oh btw amazing blog..
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on September 04, 2013:
Good luck Faisal, I hope you find the right woman for you. Let us know if you have any success. Would love to know if anyone that has posted an email or phone number here as ever met a woman because of it.
Faisal on September 04, 2013:
Any divorced women or widow want to date in Riyadh.
Email me at email@example.com.
I will give you a true satisfaction with love and respect and may be it can bring is closer for further relationship.
gooddream on July 25, 2013:
Hello i m male looking male if any man like a sex please call me on my no.00966565659808 or 00966508517942
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on July 24, 2013:
Hi Cheeky girl, thanks for taking the time to read, can't say I have ever met anyone who has been singing the praises of the work ethic in Saudi Arabia. It is generally well accepted that Saudi workers are amongst the hardest workers when it comes to avoiding doing anything! The first company I went into there employed a large number of Saudi managers; they would come in around 10am, play on their playstations, watch TV and then go for a long lunch and fail to return that day - IF they came in at all! This is one of the reasons why so many expats are employed in the country.
But yes; the culture is very different, very much more restrictive than that in the west to the point that most of us would feel that for women at least their human rights are being restricted. Would you as a woman allow yourself to be controlled to the extent that you were not allowed to travel without the consent of your husband or father or to have your future husband chosen for you even if you were a teenage girl and he was an old man?
Cassandra Mantis from UK and Nerujenia on July 23, 2013:
What an amazing amount of information in this hub! Saudi Arabia is a country where the culture is very different. I almost got an opportunity to go there with my boss, and some co-workers, but didn't go through with it, on account of a birthday event.
While it is good to observe the culture of others, and also good to see it from their point of view, it's easy to pick out the obvious differences between Arabian culture and Western culture, which is a whole lot more free and loose. I know people who have worked there and sang the praises of the work ethic system there and how businesses work.
I confess I am enjoying reading the comments here too! Awesome hub, LeanMan!
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on July 08, 2013:
Hi Jan, yes this is all true.. As long as you follow all of their rules in public Saudi Arabia can still be a great place to work and surprisingly enjoy yourself. My time in the country has been truly wonderful and I would never want to go back and change my decision to spend time there.
Janis Leslie Evans from Washington, DC on July 08, 2013:
This is hilarious and unbelievable. Really? That's how it is over there? Your humor told the stories well. Glad I came to visit in honor of your one millionth view.
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on June 16, 2013:
Not all Arabs are rich, much like any other country out there; some are rich and some are poor. But with the oil wealth there you can find plenty there in Saudi with more than enough to spare. Most non-Muslim expats are unlikely to be stoned, they would probably just get jailed and eventually deported.
peachy from Home Sweet Home on June 16, 2013:
interesting article. I have a friend who was married to an Arab guy. She was introduced by a friend through internet and never met her hubby until the marriage day. An awesome love over the internet. Anyway, she was happy because this guy is rich. Are arab guys so rich? What you had mentioned are true. Girls will be punished by stoning. Bad case. Voted up
hi on May 25, 2013:
Any riyadh n nearestwomen for satisfied.
sameer on May 08, 2013:
when there is faith...there is no fear...can i frndshp with you only girls join with me...
sameer on May 08, 2013:
hey can i frndshp wth you...plzzz
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on May 03, 2013:
If you can't meet anyone then you will never have a relationship!! If you can't be introduced to anyone you will need to break some rules - just don't get caught!!
o.O on May 02, 2013:
the problem is when you are single ... and you dunno anyone ... when you say you dunno anyone
so you mean it
... so i dunno anyoneeee how the hell i will be in relation if there is like this rules ? LOL
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on April 22, 2013:
On a compound most things are easy as you are not restricted in the same way as in public places, that being said if you are on a female only compound how do you smuggle the men in??
saudiexpatgal on April 22, 2013:
I live on a female only compound and everyone I know is dating - it doesn't appear so difficult when done behind compound doors.
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on April 11, 2013:
Hi Abeer, I have to agree with some of your comments about the way some younger people behave in the west, but at least they have the knowledge and the route to protect themselves. But Saudi is still far from a perfect society and has many of its own problems.
Abeer on April 10, 2013:
I am so glad I live in Saudi Arabia, It protect our girls and boys from sexual diseases and pregnancy in early ages. I moved to canada 3 years a go and its horrible. kids here goes to sexual clinics starting from 12 years old because they are engaging in sexual activities. Apart from the psychological effects that having sex at an early age can have, girls are more likely than boys to get a serious sexually transmitted disease, not to mention the fact that the girl is often left as the sole caretaker if she has a baby.
I am a Saudi Girl and I met my Husband at work and we dated each other before getting married, and all my friend had the same process. I don't know where do you live because cities are different. I can't wait to go back to Saudi Arabia :)
saleh on March 04, 2013:
I am looking for a girl live in Riyadh
if there single women sms me or call me
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on January 10, 2013:
Just hope that you don't get calls from the mutawa looking for a date!!
Aziz on January 10, 2013:
Hey girls I am here in Riyadh
... any one wanna date just call me or sms on 0580207050
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on January 09, 2013:
Thank you for your comments Thsnvser, always good to have someone's opinions about dating in Saudi.
Thsnvser on January 08, 2013:
Am a indian from west cultured bangalore
In thare am going with ladies to just have the fun but here I can't do any of those things and from the people of saudi I learn to respect the islam and of course i'll continue my dating in india i do not want to blame saudis regarding theies culture . Let us date in our cuntries.
But one thing is very true in gere that is there us most% of this country people selfish and thay are not following the holly quraan..
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on November 25, 2012:
Our societies are not that different despite what you may think! No society or religion tells men and women to go off and do what they like with regards to sex or anything else. What you see in films or in the press is often sensationalized in the same way that what is depicted about Saudi is also. People are people where every you go. Some are strong others are weak.
But to make a sweeping generalization that one country is worse than another is hardly something that an intelligent and educated person should do! Judge individuals not whole countries based on the behavior of a few.
Anyone can go and select a handful of figures, news stories, interviews and so on to prove anything they want, after all this is what some newspapers in the west do to demonize Muslims. As I keep saying people are people, you will find bad people in every country but that does not mean the country is bad.
The difference that I see between the west and Saudi is that the behavior that you refer to is seen and discussed openly whereas in Saudi it is hidden and shameful and by many denied. Denying the existence of a problem allows a society to turn a blind eye to it and do nothing about it - you may as well say that it is acceptable!
But if you want to believe that the west is totally evil and corrupt morally and everyone in Saudi is perfect then that is your choice.
Nora on November 23, 2012:
hahaha ... what I've said is not from others who talk about west .. it is from ( westerners themselves ) since I have many friends from UK and few from US ... Plus that I am studying English literature and I know very well your culture .. also, number of my relatives are studying in America and UK including my brother who lives with an old woman .. and he always feels pity for her .. coz her children left her alone .. each one there lives for his/herself.." except some special cases of course, no one can generalize something " .. so , you can't deny it Mr.Lean :) !! as an evidence to what I am saying is this british guy who was very impressed by the life here :
and even even if I don't know anyone there .. this is the age of globalization.. !!! we have media ! this whole world is like a very small world.. don't you know that? every people know about other cultures .. ( not as in the middle age as you said LOL .. you are the one who should open his eye ( sorry ) ) .. we know your movies, programs, documentaries that reflect your life which I hate it the most ( I mean your "social" life ).. I am surprised that you are an educated man and you replied in such a way !
what I got from you that instincts are very strong to the extant that men can't control them?!!! .. and what I know from nature that only animals who can't control their instincts .. instincts are put in our bodies as a test .. those who are strong will be able to control these instincts by marriage, then by being loyal to their wives and preserving their families, and I know very well men of my local society who never look at another women .. they love their women so much .. and even if they don't , they control their instincts to preserve their families from falling apart .. as I said before Family has the priority here..
those who travel to Bahrain, first you should know the concept of manhood here before you talk about those who travel to Bahrain .. ( strange you have been here and you don't know about it? ) they are ostracized from the society,,, because they are considered weak .. they are not considered as " true men" .. because simply they can't control themselves, they are close to animals than to humans ( this is how we think, and this is our culture if you didn't understand it yet) ! ..you can't find a man who is proud of traveling to Bahrain to date women there .. this is a huge stigma here .. and there're many reasons behind this, the most important one is that they don't practice Islam .. it is impossible that you find a man who prays the 5 prayers at their times and in the same time travels to Bahrain to date women lol this made me laugh .. and you know our society is very conservative .. the majority here pray the 5 prayers ( that's why you can see Mosques everywhere).. therefore who travel to date are the minority.
finally, I am sorry if I said something annoyed you ... I respect you if you respect our culture .. Thanks Mr.Lean :)
[ bye ] :)
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on November 22, 2012:
You seem to believe your own propaganda!
I believe you will find that the divorce rate in your own country is one of the worst in the world! There is a huge problem with divorced women who have found themselves with children and no way to support them.
Go sit on the bridge to Bahrain or in the airport in Dubai and count the married men heading out every weekend to visit the girls there and to drink beer!
Go to some of the hospitals and other places where Saudi women get dropped off by their drivers and then leave 5 minutes later with a different man!
Human nature is stronger than your religion and your rules, people (men and women also) will always seek to enjoy themselves with members of the opposite sex. Your rules try to prevent it but for most they do not work.
This is not to say your religion is bad as Christianity and most other religions say that you should stay and respect each other within marriage; humans however are weak and led by their instincts and primal urges on the whole.
Yes some have control the same as some in the west do. I see no difference in this between Saudi and the rest of the world except that Saudi men typically are less well able to treat women well as they do not have the experience of mixing with the fairer sex.
The life in the west is not disgusting and the opposite of yours, it is surprisingly similar in many ways. Stop believing what you are told and go out and really look for yourself. My grandparents have been married for over 60 years and I know many couples who have been happy together for decades also. Where you get the idea that all westerners spend all of their time fornicating with new partners I really don't know. It is like the middle ages when one country will spread rumors that their neighbors eat babies! Open your eyes!
Nora on November 22, 2012:
LOOOOL this hub is very funny! And it genuinely made me glad that westerners and other men are prevented from reaching to us.. I love these rules that preserve us from being a tool to muse men ..like what happen with west women ..
I really really feel pity for west women who can't keep their men for their whole life .. a west man can easily change his beloved woman "just because he saw another beautiful sexy woman therefore his previous love towards his ex wife vanished "... what a poor life for women their ! and also vice versa, when a woman meets a new love she easily leave her ex lover !!!! once I asked a British guy who's 40 years old "how many girls you loved during your life?" he answered " I don't remember " !!! Oh !! really you don't ?? are girls there games for you ??? this is the disgusting life of WEST ! which is the opposite of our life ..Thank God.
all parents I know here have been lived with each other for 20, 30 , 40 years .. with their children as well .. because the man preserves his eyes from looking to other women .. also the woman preserves her eyes from looking to other men .,. that's why we cover ourselves .. to not let the man- whose wife is not that beautiful- look to another beautiful girl and leave his wife.. FAMILY here has the priority .. we live for UNITY .. not for our own selves .. west life encourages selfishness .. a man there lives for his own desires and goods as well as the woman .. whereas here we care for all of us .. this is what I love about here.. and hate about there ..
I am happy and honored of being a SAUDI GIRL ! THANK GOD....
Bsb F0x on November 21, 2012:
good job ,, LeanMan
keep it up ..
M , 23 years old , Riyadh
looking for a girl
thank you ..
usman aziz on November 19, 2012:
exactly sara,i am usman aziz civil engineer here in ar,ar city,i know its not a place to find out my life partner or something like that but i will be feel very lucky if i find any true friend here in saudi arabia
usman on November 19, 2012:
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on November 18, 2012:
Hi Mande, not the most romantic of ways to date - but I guess you can bring a cool box with some sandwiches and some cold beers (if you have some..)
Having witnessed a crazy driver try to overtake at speed by going down the hard shoulder and into a parked car I would be very wary of stopping anywhere near a main road in Saudi.
MANDE on November 18, 2012:
The easiest way to date in Saudi is by getting your date in a tinted car and stop on any main road on the right, nobody will care about you and you could do whatever you want ! thats what i used to do before moving back to NYC
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on November 15, 2012:
Nice to talk with you too Sara.
Sara on November 14, 2012:
I do not say its wrong .. I respect it because we must give respect in order to receive it. What Im trying to say is we all human bing we love to life. We r not live in 19 century man ...I'm sure in your personal relationships you are a gentleman of integrity and fairness.. Nice to talk to you bro
Sara from Saudi Arabia
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on November 14, 2012:
Every country has its own culture so maybe you should accept that even if another countries culture is different from yours it is not wrong.
sara on November 14, 2012:
they give us money as present not to buy us .. it's like culture of the rich country .. its shame if u dont respect our culture
ahmad on November 11, 2012:
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on November 06, 2012:
Hi Saudi girl, glad to see that you have your priorities right..If a man wants to marry you he has to pay you with money and jewels etc....
Generally in the west people marry for love not money!
رغد on November 06, 2012:
i'm saudi girl
i just want to tell u those girl are not saudi
they look like Philippines girl
and why u talked about us like that ?
if one want to marry me,he have to give me money, Jewels,..etc
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on October 26, 2012:
AnasJ, thank you for your comments, nice to have some intelligent comments made about how women are treated in Saudi Arabia and about dating here. To be honest I have no problems with the way things are here but I do not always follow their rules! As you say - "don't get caught!"
AnasJ on October 25, 2012:
I was born and raised in the streets of Riyadh, I understand the culture here very well.. You did a great job describing KSA- dating issues in details LeanMan! I'd say your description is correct to a large extinct.
Yes the rules and traditions here are extremely strict, sick and just doesn't support the nature of all human beings, not only westerners.
I am a Muslim. I would like to clarify that the rules in Saudi Arabia DO NOT represent islamic religion, its the culture of Saudi Arabia that forces extreme limitations for the participation of women in society. unfortunately, the government do enforce these regulations by the name of Islam, they either do this to convince ppl easily to follow their culture's rules or simply for their incorrect understanding of Islam.
Saudi government understand Islam the way there ancestors did, not the way that prophet Mohammed educated it! prophet Mohammed did not ban Christians, Jews or ppl from any other religions to practice their lives freely in the city of Madinah ( The capital of Islam at his time ), they had there churches and temples and they was living their lives the way they choose to. he did not force woman of other religions to wear Abayas, he did not even order muslim woman to be veiled up to toe! and he sure would not question you about the number of Filipino ladies seen coming in and out of your apartment at night..
I apologies on behalf of all true Muslims for you and all other non Muslim expats in this country for the inconvenient things you experience here every day and for not having your rights to live as a free human here..
Just don't get caught ;)
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on October 24, 2012:
Sorry Ghufran, there is aids in your country. Not bought by expats as they are all tested but by your own people who have contracted it. Unfortunately there are many Saudis who do not follow your religion as they should as there are Christians who do not also.
Making something prohibited will not stop human nature. There is a huge amount of drink and even drugs in KSA as well as the other behavior we have discussed.
ali on October 24, 2012:
Ghufran on October 24, 2012:
hi LeanMan and offcourse all the religions advise against men and women sleeping around and promote marriage. This protects society but as in Saudi Arabia you see it...That it is strictly prohibited and if a person want to do this. he think more than 100 times about it.So this is in Islamic religion but other islamic countries dont follow this. In saudia here is no AIDS so every person can understand the reason. and why it is...
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on October 24, 2012:
Hi Ghufran, the Muslim and Christian religions teach very similar things; after all their roots are the same. In fact all religions advise against men and women sleeping around and promote marriage in some form. This protects society and the people within it from conflict and other problems. That being said, the world is moving on and what people once found unacceptable is now common place and barely commented on.
Ghufran on October 24, 2012:
Thanks LeanMan i dont know which type of person you are.but i like it that you also think that dates and flirts are not good for the whole world. i think it is less in islamic countries. but from because of media and movies islamic counties are also going towards the wrong path. Saudi Arabia is the only country in front me, where dates and flirts are very less. but as it is going on... the time is coming when the environment of Saudia Arabia will also be so bad.... and they are safe upto that, as they leave the Islamic rules they must be finished. every thing is perfect in Islam if our Muslims follow that path which Islam teaches us...But now all other religions read "Quran" understand "Quran" but Muslims are going far away from their Holy book "Quran".
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on October 24, 2012:
Hi Ghufran, people are people and you should never judge an entire country based on the behavior of one individual or a small group. I know many Saudi men who drive across the causeway or fly to Dubai every weekend just to find a new woman. I also get invited to regular parties hosted by Saudis where many women will get "involved" with the Saudi men; many of these women are Saudi also not just expat women who have come to your country from poor countries and only see their bodies as a way to make a living.
I also know expats who are wholly faithful to their wives and women who would never behave the way that you are discussing.
Individuals are exactly that; individual and they have their own beliefs and values. Some like to have fun in this way as it makes them feel good; others do not. But it would not be right to generalize about different nationalities and condemn an entire nation based on a few individuals.
I like Saudi but I know many men that I would never let within a hundred yards of my wife, mother or daughters and there are others that I would welcome as house guests. There are also many Saudi women that I know who are outrageous flirts and would sleep with any man who could make them laugh and there are others that are faithful and pious.
I am sure you would never behave the way your friend behaves and yet he is still your friend. I am sure also that if every woman in Saudi or every other country was perfect then your friend would never be able to behave as he does.
I also want to address your final comments; we do not feel it necessary to control our wives or sisters. They have free will and the ability to choose their own path in life. We are all educated as to what is right and what is wrong. If a woman wants to socialize and have fun in her life that is her right and no one should be able to prevent her from doing so. If she goes too far and is unfaithful to her husband then in all likelihood she will loose her husband and her marriage and have to live with the knowledge that maybe she destroyed the best thing in her life, that is the punishment.
Trying to control people through fear and punishment will never work. They will just eventually open Pandora's box to find out what is inside. Better to educate and give people the choice.
Ghufran on October 24, 2012:
LeanMan i think you are the administrator and i am not a philosopher.i am an Engineer and this time in Saudi Arabia.and most of my friends are in Australia and he said me last night that he used every week new girl.so i feel very shame on him.and also very dis-heart from that environment because how a girl can spent her whole night with friends and dates with him etc... as any girl new it that this guy is just flirt he is just using me.. and after marriage how husband can believe on her wife. as after marriage a blind man can also understand that this girl is already used by another person... so i think western are very neat and clean people they keep clean cloths their shoes their teeth, but why they have no control on their wives their sisters.... basically i love Australia but i dont like their environment....
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on October 23, 2012:
Disposable things are generally cheap throw away quality and I think that everyone knows that.. but at times it is useful to have those disposable items to hand! Thanks for sharing your philosophy about cutlery Ghufran.
Ghufran on October 23, 2012:
Hi Dears...i think now we need to discuss something about western rules and there life style.... western people can never use that tooth brush which already a person used.they dont eat that food if another person touch that.they never drink that drink in that glass if one person use that glass.so they use disposable glass, plates, cups etc......But they dont think if a person is using one glass one plate and one cup and keep it clean and no other person can use his glass plate or cup. then he can use his glass etc 2nd time 3rd time 4rth time upto life time without any tension... all clever persons can understand... so we dont need disposable things.
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on October 23, 2012:
Good luck Josep, have you had any luck in finding a girl friend in Khobar? It must be very easy for you to just cross the causeway and go to Bahrain where things are a little more relaxed.
Josep Anderson from Khobar, Saudi Arabia on October 22, 2012:
Hi josep anderson here... any girl wana friendship...?
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on October 14, 2012:
Hi SaudiMan, I am afraid that I cannot publish your comment due to the large number of expletives that you have used. For a committed Muslim you seem to have a very large collection of these words and use them very freely!
As to what you have tried to say in your comment I am sorry but Saudi women are like women anywhere else in the world and there are some that are very much looking for loving relationships and to date men of any nationality. Your claim that every Saudi woman is a good Muslim who would never date is completely wrong and I tell you this from years of experience!
I am also not a liar nor am I full of excrement and I certainly am not going to go do what you have suggested that I do with my mother - do not try to push your own preferences onto others!
Feel free to reply without the abusive words and I will happily debate with you.
Also you may also want to move to Saudi Arabia to post your comments as according to your IP address you are in LA!
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on October 11, 2012:
You will have to let us know if this approach works or if you just get mutawa calling you..
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on October 10, 2012:
Thanks for your comments Yorkshirelass; Please be good when you get there I don't want to read about you in the papers here!
Yorkshirelass on October 10, 2012:
Leanman... You are just too funny!! A great writer, smart and witty - but down to earth. I am considering Saudi (with my hubby) and you take on it is great. Thank you :-)
HOTGUY on October 06, 2012:
0594030717 GIRLS CAN CALL ME
Ahmad on October 05, 2012:
really i love saudis, also women all are not bad so no need to think anything wrong, i am really looking for a marriage,
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on September 24, 2012:
Hi irfan, you really do need to get yourself a better chat up line the one you are using if you want to find yourself a young lady in Saudi. Just asking for sex rarely goes down well with ladies of any nationality.
irfan on September 24, 2012:
i am looking for a pakistani aunty in riyadh ksa who are sexuly not satisfy i ll 100 % satisy her just send me email on firstname.lastname@example.org
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on September 10, 2012:
You are safe on compound but just remember that most women there will already be attached!! A weekend in Dubai or Bahrain is safest.. If you want to find a woman in Riyadh ask friends to introduce you or go and have a long walk in the souks or the malls and see if you can catch the eye of a nice woman..
Vari on September 10, 2012:
Thanks for your answer. In fact the receptionist is an Egyptian man.
Tony (author) from At the Gemba on September 10, 2012:
The rules are very clear, you should never be alone with a person of the opposite sex who is not a direct blood relative or your spouse. Your hotel seems very understanding and I guess that the receptionist is not a Saudi! What they have told you will be very unofficial if it is true, but be careful.
As to visiting someone in their home it is not too difficult and you are unlikely to be stopped. If you don't disturb anyone you should be fine. But still be very careful!