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Couples Who Roast One Another on a Regular Basis Are Stronger

Rachel is a lifestyle writer who specialized in women's health, fitness, and wellness.

"In this light, you can barely see how frizzy your hair is, my love."

"In this light, you can barely see how frizzy your hair is, my love."

Seriously, They Researched It!

There are a few common factors present across all long-lasting romantic relationships. Trust, communication, and love come to mind as necessary qualities for establishing a strong bond. There’s another element, though, that researchers say will keep you and your significant other on the path to an everlasting, healthy relationship.

According to research out of Appalachian State University, one of the best indicators of a healthy relationship is mutual roasting. That’s right—sarcasm and consistent good-hearted jabbing with your partner actually make for a more solid relationship.

Relationship Science

The basic foundation of most romantic relationships is comprised of honesty, loyalty, and compromise. Then there are other helpful elements that are different for every couple, such as a similar sense of humor, likes and dislikes, and common goals.

Sarcasm: A Sign Of Success?

In a research study conducted at Appalachian State University, it was discovered that the practice of roasting one another is an accurate predictor of relationship success. Poking fun at your significant other signals that you’re in a comfortable, solid relationship.


Every relationship has its own particular mannerisms or habits that make them totally unique. They are the behind-the-scenes behaviors that people outside of the relationship don’t usually see. Typically, they aren’t your most flattering or glorifying qualities (i.e. "Pull my finger, babe!")

Call Them Out

According to experts, when you accept and call each other out on your special quirks, you’re building a high-level connection. Roasting one another is a way of acknowledging uniqueness and showing that you accept the other person for who they are. Poking fun and cracking jokes about certain traits or habits is a sign of your acceptance of them.


Roast, Baby, Roast!

Laughing at his favorite pair of worn out boxers with the holes in them—that’s a sign of love. Calling her a freight train because she snores like a big, burly man says “I don’t want to go one night without sleeping next to you.”

These friendly jabs are like little steam valves that help keep you levelheaded and balanced in a relationship.

Keep It Light

Now, it’s important to mention that the roasting needs to be kept lighthearted. You don’t want to tear your partner down or remind them of their flaws in an overtly negative way. When done with good intentions and friendly humor, roasting can be a healing process and tension release that brings a couple closer together.

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

Why does roasting work? It seems there’s some truth to the idea that laughter is the best medicine. Couples who laugh together are able to lower their stress levels, be more confident, and accept each other in a way that they may not get to experience with anyone else in their lives.

Less Stress

Studies have shown that laughter reduces the number of stress hormones in your body and lowers blood pressure. The level of relaxation that laughter provides is comparable to meditation. Less stress in a relationship means fewer arguments, decreased chance of resentment, and more time to be together and create good memories.


When you roast each other, you’re sharing a moment and strengthening your bond. Joking about the same things gives you something to laugh about together—for just a moment or many times throughout your relationship. Every joke is a sign of love and acceptance.

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Strong Ties

Laughter can make it easier to cope with tough situations and unpleasant events. When you and your partner laugh together, you’re validating each other’s opinion and viewpoint. Inside jokes and pet names are a way to strengthen ties between couples. People outside of the relationship aren’t privy to them and that’s satisfying and reconfirming to the couple.

Efficient Arguments

Another benefit of roasting in a relationship is that it allows couples to argue better. When you learn to insert humor into more serious situations, you reduce levels of urgency, stress, and anger. Arguments become more efficient and are resolved more quickly. This is crucial to decreasing the long-term negative effects of frequent fighting.

I wonder what he said about her mother...

I wonder what he said about her mother...

Immune System Boost

Still not convinced? Scientists have also found that laughter boosts your immune system. You can tell your partner you’re literally cracking jokes for their health. Laughter will strengthen your immune systems and help fend off nasty illnesses like the flu.

Better Bedroom Time

Stress can kill your libido quicker than getting a phone call from your mom mid-love session. A good sense of humor makes you more attractive to the opposite sex. Laughing together is a surefire way to boost intimacy and bring couples closer.

Crisis Averted

When you make a joke at your partner’s expense, you’re actually venting. You’re drawing attention to the small things that bug you in a gentle way. This prevents those negative feelings from festering and lingering until you inevitably lash out. Roasting effectively helps you avoid angry outbursts.

Happy, Healthy Hecklers

The research shows that couples who poke fun at each other’s quirks or shortcomings regularly tend to have happy and healthy relationships. Remember to keep it light and avoid administering any hard-hitting, low blows. Feel free to roast each other until the cows come home—your relationship will be healthier, stronger, and more fun in the long run.


Give Your Opinion

© 2021 Rachel Hezel


dashingscorpio from Chicago on January 19, 2021:

Most likely it's not the roasting each other that makes the difference as much as it is the two people being "compatible" with regard to personality and having a similar sense of humor.

A little bit of teasing regarding shortcomings goes a long way.

Not everyone enjoys being the butt of a joke or competing via insults. There are enough people outside of the relationship to do who are more than happy to put you down. Most people want a partner who is supportive and encouraging.

Oftentimes you have a situation where (one person) is silently offended or resents being "put down" for the sake getting laughs.

They "go along to get along" until they just can't take it anymore.

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