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Five Characteristics of Happy Christian Singles

MsDora is a Certified Christian Counselor. Her views on singleness, premarital and marital issues are influenced by her Christian beliefs.

Characteristics of Happy Singles

Characteristics of Happy Singles

“Single is ... a choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.” —Mandy Hale in The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

The Apostle Paul, credited with the authorship of thirteen New Testament books, and recognized as an authority on Christian living also speaks positively of singleness. “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do” (1 Corinthians 7:8). Good translated from kalos in the Greek language also means pleasing, suitable, commendable, honorable and honest. This view presents singleness as respectable and enjoyable.

Following are five other adjectives extracted from the writings of Paul, who lived a purposeful, fulfilling life while remaining unmarried. The applications though slanted towards singleness, are based on his general counsels to the churches. Scripture quotations are from the New International Version, unless stated otherwise.

Careful

"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise … Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is." —Ephesians 5: 15, 17

  • Happy singles are careful to discover God’s will (specifically His purpose for their lives), the spiritual gifts and talents He has given them to ensure their success, the most appropriate method of pursuing their purpose while enjoying their singleness.
  • They are careful to choose the life that is right for them. Paul advised that if singleness becomes burdensome, “it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:9). Those who have the ability and desire to live single refuse to be forced into marriage.
  • Wise singles respect marriage. They search among available singles for potential mates. No tampering with another woman’s husband or another man’s wife.
  • Happy singles are careful to remain truly single. “Not even a hint of sexual immorality” (Ephesians 5:4) is acceptable in the life of a Christian.

Show me Christian singles who carefully practice self-respect and respect for others, who value their singleness, who are careful to pursue their purpose with passion. I’ll show you some happy, healthy-minded people.

Confident

"Since this new way gives us such confidence, we can be very bold." –2 Corinthians 3: 12 NLT

The old way, Paul explained, was managing behavior by obedience to a list of dos and don’ts. The new way allows God’s Holy Spirit to establish godly principles in the mind and empower the individual from within. Plus, there is the exemplary life of Jesus who also gives strength (Philippians 4:13) to those who are determined to walk in integrity. This supernatural support system causes happy single individuals to be confident.

  • Confident of the ability to walk successfully with or without human attachment.
  • Confident that they can wear singleness with honor whether it is temporary or permanent.
  • Confident of the power of God’s Spirit, to produce joy, along with other positive virtues which nurture happiness from within (Galatians 5:22,23).
  • Confident that their personal influence will be positive, will spread happiness and increase their sense of worth as well as the sense of worth in those whom they affect.

Cheerful

"If we are good to others, we should do it cheerfully." —Romans 12:8 CEV

Single people have more time to be helpful, and more opportunities to be kind. It is a joy to make positive contributions to the lives of others, since service increases the happiness of both the sever and those who are served. Giving, serving, blessing always provide reasons to smile. Besides, time spent in caring for others lessen the chances of being bored or feeling alone. It increases opportunities to interact and laugh with others.

“Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home… It’s your responsibility to love it, or change it,” counsels Chuck Palahniuk. The single person has the least problem making changes. Being the sole decision maker, there is no chance of human conflict, no waiting till another person is convinced. Just the thought of being totally in control, with only God to consult, makes one cheerful.

Being cheerful is also being good to one's self. According to Carrie Murphy on Healthline (8/22/2018), joy has a positive effect on the brain, the circulatory system, and the automatic nervous system. "It promotes a healthier lifestyle,boosts the immune system, fights stress and pain, and supports longevity." Taking responsibility for their health, and recognizing the health benefits of cheerfulness, wise singles become intentional about maintaining their joy.

Live to the fullest!

Live to the fullest!

Contented

“I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation” —Philippians 4:12

Instead of complaining about what they do not have, happy singles celebrate what they do have. “I am single and that is all I am sure I have, today. With that I want to live it to the fullest!" –Noel Cameron Gardener

The more they embrace singleness, the more they recognize treasures of wisdom during their sessions of praise and gratitude. Upon reflection, they come to realize that:

  • Singleness is better than having a contrary mate.
  • Singles have more peace and quiet, more time to feel, to manage their attitudes and emotions.
  • Singles have the freedom to skip the non-essentials when they want to reach for the extraordinary. They have the freedom to celebrate when they think they deserve it. They have the freedom to make themselves comfortable.
  • "Sometimes those who fly solo have the strongest wings." – Nitya Prakash

Connected

"Be devoted to one another in love… Live in harmony with one another." –Romans 10:12, 16

Happy singles recognize their need to love and be loved, to enjoy social connections, and to fellowship with people of faith. They know that being independent does not negate their need for occasional assistance and advice, does not cancel the benefits of affirmation, approval and applause from an intimate friendship circle.

They maintain these kinds of connections not only to boost their happiness, but also to share and grow their love, their relationship skills, and caring attitudes. Bella DePaulo Ph.D. in Psychology Today (10/11/2014) reports on findings from a British survey which showed that singles have traditionally fostered connections more than their marriage counterparts:

  • Singles more often engage in long-term care. A national sampling of 9,000 British adults found that singles more than married people had cared for someone who was sick, disabled or elderly for at least, a three-month period.
  • Singles are more likely to maintain contact with, to visit, to support their parents and siblings.
  • Single people are more likely to socialize with their neighbors.
  • More singles engage in civic groups, public events and informal social activities.
  • When men marry, they become less generous to their relatives and friends. They are more generous when they are single.

Perhaps the demands of spouses and children lessen the ability of married people to stay as connected and generous as they previously were. No judgments or condemnation here. Only the glaring truth that singles are better able to maintain long-term connections with friends and relatives, and consequently have more reasons to be happy.

Conclusion

Singleness is not a problem to be solved, it is a gift to be cherished. Paul counsels in 1 Corinthians 7:32, not to be anxious about it but to continue living the life God planned for you. When His plan includes marriage, happy singles become happy spouses.

© 2021 Dora Weithers

Comments

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 17, 2021:

Thanks to you, Sampsons. I appreciate your support and encouragement.

The Sampsons from The Ozarks, Missouri on September 14, 2021:

Oooo, I just see you won a Hubbie.

Congratuations! Well done!

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 13, 2021:

Thanks, Rosina. I appreciate your encouragement, and will always try to deserve it.

Rosina S Khan on September 12, 2021:

Came back to congratulate you on winning the Hubbie award. Lots of blessings.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 12, 2021:

Thanks, Chitrangada. I appreciate your continual encouragement and support.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 12, 2021:

Thank you, Peggy. This is really encouraging.

Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on September 11, 2021:

Came back to congratulate you. Many congratulations MsDora, for winning the Hubbie award. Well deserved.

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on September 11, 2021:

Came back to congratulate you on your hubber awards this year. They are well-deserved!

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 11, 2021:

Thank you, Pamela. Congratulations to you, too. All the best to us, going forward.

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on September 11, 2021:

Congratulations on your well-deserved hubby awards.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 10, 2021:

Miebakagh, I think that your comment is positive to some degree (smiling), so thank you.

Miebakagh Fiberesima from Port Harcourt, Rivers State, NIGERIA. on September 10, 2021:

That can be understood to some degree. Thanks.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 10, 2021:

Thanks, Lora. You're so right. First, individuals need to find out God's plan for their lives. His plan for everyone does not always include marriage.

Lora Hollings on September 10, 2021:

This is a very well written article, Ms Dora, on Christian singles. Your article is filled with wisdom and truth. People frequently rush into marriage or get married for the wrong reasons. Often they find themselves to be incompatible with their spouse and it leads to much unhappiness. Your article points out all the benefits of being single so that people don't rush into a marriage prematurely or without time to really find out what God has intended for them to do with their lives. Your quotes were inspiring too.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 09, 2021:

Thanks, Linda. Happy to inspire, especially singles.

Linda Crampton from British Columbia, Canada on September 09, 2021:

This is an inspiring article. Thank you for sharing the information and the quotes, Dora.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 09, 2021:

Thank you, Chitrangada. I appreciate your encouraging comment. Without a sense of purpose there is no sense of direction. It is even more important for singles who may not have any input into their decision making.

Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on September 09, 2021:

Great article about the characteristics of being single. I liked reading it, and agree with the observations. In our lives, we should have a purpose. There are many noteworthy points, and I think everyone should read it.

An insightful and thought provoking article indeed. Thank you for sharing.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 09, 2021:

Dear Brian. Thanks for your invaluable comment for the encouragement of singles. Besides gratitude, I respond with a hearty Amen.

Brian from Kuala Lumpur Malaysia on September 09, 2021:

Dear Ms. Dora, this is truly an insightful hub which makes it clear that a 'single Christian' life can be as wonderful and fulfilling when a person finds peace and comfort in Him all the days of their life. Being single does not indicate an unfulfilled life because God may just use the person to fulfill a higher purpose. Like you shared, sometimes it allows God to work in greater and bigger ways which makes the single person walk confidently and pursue their purpose with or without the human attachment.

Nevertheless, I am blessed by the Lord to not walk this journey alone and He gave me my better half, whom have come to accept Christ our Lord. I believe He has a plan for every single one of us, either to remain solo or build a life with another and help them find their purpose in Him and grow stronger in faith together.

Have a blessed day, Ms Dora! :)

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 08, 2021:

Manatita, thanks for all those kind descriptive words. You also summarized the article perfectly.I appreciate you.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 08, 2021:

James, I appreciate your encouragement. Thank you.

manatita44 from london on September 08, 2021:

A very straight-forward, compelling, impactful and informative, yet practical write.

Being happy with one's persona or decorum, that is respect, self-esteem or sense of worth, acknowledging the gifts of Something Higher. Mixed with the flavour of inner confidence and finally walking the ways of God's plan which may be single or within marriage. Yes, Paul gave super-excellent counselling. Beautiful!!

James C Moore from Joliet, IL on September 08, 2021:

Interesting. I just reread Faulkner's "A Rose for Emily" a story I'll be reviewing soon. For those unfamiliar with the story, it's about a lady who was the opposite of the singles you spoke of. There is "good" bachelor, bachelorette single and the alternative. Thanks for focusing on the good.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 08, 2021:

Thanks, Dorothy. You've said it best, and it is worth repeating: "The joy that comes from truly serving and honoring God in a single status is very powerful and magnetic."

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 08, 2021:

Maria, Congratulations on your marriage. I like the concept of one being whole. No doubt, you continue to be a good moral support to the singles. God bless you!

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 08, 2021:

Thanks, Rev Margaret. Your approval means much to me.I appreciate you.

Dorothy Robinson Woods from Mobile, Al on September 08, 2021:

Beautiful and Encouraging. If one truly understood what you have written, they may not be single for long. The joy that comes from truly serving and honoring God in a single status is very powerful and magnetic.. ;-) Beautiful

MariaMontgomery from Coastal Alabama, USA on September 07, 2021:

I wish all single people could read your article. I am married now, but was single for a long time. I helped form a singles ministry at our church. We named it Soul Esprit (Single Spirit). One of the studies we used was titled, "One is a Whole Number". I will always remember that, and wish more singles could have that to respond to those who would pressure them or constantly ask, "When are you getting married?" Thank you for an article that will be comforting and inspiring to many.

Margaret Minnicks from Richmond, VA on September 07, 2021:

I enjoyed reading your article "Five Characteristics of Happy Christian Singles." I like that you supported what you said with scriptures. You also had nice images.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 07, 2021:

Thanks, Rosina. I like the thought of being happily married to one's self.I appreciate your affirmation.

Rosina S Khan on September 07, 2021:

I love your points on being single. I even like the fact that "when God's plan is marriage, happy singles become happy spouses." This is so true because one must be happily married to oneself before one can marry someone. Thank you for sharing this beautiful article, Dora.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 07, 2021:

Thanks, Brenda. It is usually the case that happy singles become happy spouses, because happiness is stored within and travels with the carrier.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 07, 2021:

Srushti, what a wonderful thing to say. Thanks for the encouragement.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 07, 2021:

Thanks, Pamela. Your comment is insightful and true. Singleness is preparation time for marriage.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 07, 2021:

Thanks, Peggy. I receive your blessing and pray the same for you. Glad you liked the article.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on September 07, 2021:

Ms Dora

Wonderful points for singles.

I like that happy singles become happy spouses.

Have a great day.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 07, 2021:

Thank you, Bill. I appreciate your kind encouragement.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 07, 2021:

Good hearing from you. Thanks for reading and for your kind comment.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 07, 2021:

Misbah, I appreciate your personal greeting and your mention of the conclusion. Thank you very much.

Dora Weithers (author) from The Caribbean on September 07, 2021:

Thanks, John. Singleness has its place in the grand scheme of things. Time for singles to appreciate it.

Srushti Gamit on September 07, 2021:

Ms Dora your words are so wonderful and powerful. I believe god can really talk to each of us through your words.

You said it very well, “ Singleness is not a problem but it should be cherished.”

Thank you so much for sharing this article with us.

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on September 07, 2021:

This is a wonderful article for singles with so much of the teaching of the apostle Paul, Dora. Being a happy single before being married will give someone more to offer for their spouse. I love all the quotes you included.

Thank you for this beautiful article.

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on September 07, 2021:

I especially liked your conclusion when you wrote "happy singles become happy spouses." Happiness must come from within, first and foremost. May God bless you on your life's journey!

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on September 07, 2021:

I love this message. I was single for quite a few years and I rather enjoyed it. My teaching kept me quite busy, gave me purpose, as did raising my son. I was quite happy during those years, and you pointed out why I was happy in this excellent article.

Miebakagh Fiberesima from Port Harcourt, Rivers State, NIGERIA. on September 07, 2021:

Good read indeed. Thanks.

Misbah Sheikh from The World of Poets on September 07, 2021:

MsDora, This was a very interesting read. I especially liked the way you concluded it. Thank you so much for sharing. Stay happy and healthy!!

Many blessings and Love to you!!

John Hansen from Gondwana Land on September 07, 2021:

You raise very good points and offer good advice for Christian singles, MsDora. Thank you for sharing.

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