Over 10 years ago I was faced with the cold hard truth and that was that I no longer had the mental capacity to make logical and honest decisions.
Even if I tried my brain had been so damaged thru the years that fear and lack of trust made me believe that I was the only sane person in my life.
The great thing about falling to rock bottom, is when you have to force yourself to look into the mirror and change the person you are.
Most people do not believe a narcissist can change and when I talk open and candid about my recovery I am always asked
"How does a narcissist change?"
My response is always simply that they have to want to. You have to see the truth of who you are and that you are the problem. Of course you have the people that scream loud and say people don't change.
"A narcissist will never change"
Frankly those people may have never had to change so they just simply have no clue. We can recover from many bad behaviors. Programs for addicts promote change and force you to look at yourself in order to do it. Not blaming others or playing the victim in the recovery process, so despite the naysayers we can in fact recover from narcissism as well.
You can only change once you are aware that the choices you make are the choices that make you broken. Over and over and break and damage others around you. You have to be willing to be wrong and be willing to ask for forgiveness which are two very core behaviors of narcissistic people that they just do not believe those two simple behaviors resid in them.
Healing from Narcissism is just like healing from substance abuse or a death or a bad breakup. You can heal and live beyond the label of narcissism and the damage it does to others. However healing doesn't mean rushing out to the ones you have hurt and forcing them to see beyond what you did and see you now. We don't get to force that on others. All we can do is change our actions and reactions in life and let those that want to see us healed find away back around us, or we have to respect that we lost good people and good situations just by being the person we were without caring if we hurt others.
Love is the key. That scary thing that is the core behind every narcissistic person. The fear of loving and being hurt by it. You will be hurt by love often but never be afraid to love others. It is the easiest thing to do to show others your intent in life. Is to love beyond expectations and fantasy. Learning to love is scary.
Most of us as narcissist do not even realize how to love properly or how to even know if we are being loved in a healthy manner ourselves.