Anamika S. Jain has been a social media consultant for six years. She has written more than 200 articles on relationships and dating.
Blindside Breakup and a Rebound Relationship - A True Story
Relationship break up can be of different types and can also happen for a variety of reasons. But I would say that the blindside breakup is the worst of all. Today people involved in the relationship have the choice of breaking up by instant messages, voice mails, emails, facebook status and loads of other ways. These different ways to break up makes it a lot easier for an individual involved in a relationship to be completely blindsided by his or her partner's decision to break up. Having experienced such a breakup, I can vouch that it was so painful and all I wanted was to die. I remember eating nothing for days, desperately trying to contact him and crying like there was no end. The Guy whom I was involved with was always very open about his love for me and all my friends thought that we are perfect together despite of him being younger to me by several years. I also never had any doubts about him not loving me or not being serious about me. His every word and gesture always proved that he was madly in love with me the way I was with him. But one day my world shattered when he closed the doors of all communication and abandoned me without an explanation (He did send an SMS prior to changing his mobile number that he is breaking up and that it is not my fault). Words can’t explain how I felt when all my attempts to talk to him failed. It took me almost a month to accept the fact that he is not going to come back to me.
The pain and hurt of the Relationship was too much and I was hopelessly in love with my Ex that moving on was so difficult. Then I chose what many who in my condition normally choose – going for a Rebound Relationship – on hope that getting a new man can help me forget the old one. I needed to get a Boyfriend. I used a friend of mine as a rebound and even succeeded in moving on from my previous relationship to a considerable extent. But I felt so guilty, miserable and ashamed of myself that I confided the truth to my friend. I told him that all I wanted was a fling because as long as I think I am loyal towards my Ex, I would not be able to forget him. I told my friend that I got into a relationship with him because I thought that I have to do something drastic and bad so that I would not have the nerve to think of going back to my Ex Boyfriend. My friend was shattered as he already had developed feelings for me. However, he convinced me to give our relationship a thought and I agreed to him. We had a year and a half long relationship. We broke up mutually because I never felt any love for him nor did he matter to me anything more than a friend. He is still a friend whom I know would stand by me always but many people in rebound relationships do not get as lucky as I did. For me, my Rebound Relationship served its purpose. But many people involved in such relationships end up with even worse hurt and pain.
For those who are wondering what happened to my Ex , I happened to meet him almost after a year at a Movie Hall. He was with a friend of his whom I knew very well. I was with the Guy whom I was having a relationship at that point of time. At first my Ex tried to avoid me, but when I confronted him he told me the truth. He told me that his father who is very powerful and influential Guy had threatened him to harm me if he did not leave me. So he decided to sacrifice his love than seeing anything happen to me. I could see that he still loved me and had not moved on with his life still. But I could not go back to him because I had already moved so much ahead that going back was impossible. And even if I would have wanted to he would not have taken me back for sure because he feared for my life. One more thing I realized was that I did not love him anymore. I kept wondering again and again as we were talking, 'Is this the same Guy whom I was madly in love with? Is this the Guy I wanted to die for?' Because I felt no love for him that way anymore though I still wanted to be friends with him. And yes, We are friends till date.
Dealing with a Blindsided Relationship Breakup
So what exactly is Blindside? What are the signs of a Blindside breakup? How to deal with such a Breakup? To Blindside someone can mean attacking when least expected. The Blindside is the type of breakup that you never see coming. In such breakups the victim normally does not have any indication that things aren't working out well. Blindside in love happens when one person thinks that everything is smooth and perfect in the relationship and suddenly the other person announces that they want to opt out. Being blindsided can shatter a person as it is unexpected and came without a warning. When a person is blindsided he/she normally would have no idea what they could have possibly done wrong to deserve such a treatment. However, the reason to blindside someone normally differs from what happened in my case. The person who broke up the relationship may be unhappy with it for whatsoever reasons and would have already realized that there was something amiss in the relationship. Instead of trusting the partner and openly communicating and solving the problems in the relationship they prefer the easy way out by breaking up unawares with the Partner. In fact, I would say that if someone blindsided you he was never worthy of you and such a relationship would have had no future. You should rejoice that it broke up when it did.
However, I would advise against going for a relationship on rebound like me as it can result in further heart break and pain. Also I do not think it a right thing to use someone that way. Instead give time for the wounds to heal and look for healthy ways to deal with a Breakup.
drs123 on March 06, 2012:
just gone through the same...god knows why people come in our lives if they ever have to leave us ??????
Cindy Murdoch from Texas on March 04, 2012:
I think that blindsiding someone like that would be wrong. You both had invested so much of yourselves that you deserved more. Great story!
zaisha on September 27, 2011:
my hubby is a good person but i dono sumtime i feel so irritated towards him... i dono wot the reason behind it.. do u knw onething am his second wife.. i sumtime feel so irritated while v rdoing the sex.. give me a solution plzzz..:( ilove him like any thg.. i cant even tel u hw badly am i missg hm...
Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on February 26, 2011:
@Ashley Think that whatever happens happens for good and that the Guy was not worth having a girl like you. You have someone better written in your fate! All the Best!
Ashley L on February 26, 2011:
This just happened to me. I'm so confused. Everything was going great. The flowers from our amazing Valentine's Day were still on my bedside table. The switch happened within hours. Apparently he met up with his ex girlfriend who was in town from Boston without telling me. I don't know whaat happened but he dumped me the next day. Good luck with that dude, you just threw away something with good potential for who knows what. I'm just angry that he chose not to talk to me about whatever issues he thought there were in the relationship and chose to just give up instead. I'm very disappointed.
Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on January 19, 2011:
Thanks for the visit! What happened was history and something which occurred several years ago ... So it does not matter anymore. My Point was that getting a new man immediately is not the answer to forget the ex.
Marcella Glenn from PA on January 19, 2011:
I wish you the best. Thanks for sharing.