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Black Women Married to White Men: Why it Works

Black Women Married to White Men: Why it Works. Photo by David Shankbone. CC 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons

Black Women Married to White Men: Why it Works. Photo by David Shankbone. CC 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons


A rare but growing demographic you will see in the U.S. are black women married to white men, but to me they are the most special. Why? Because this demographic reflects my own marriage. Lets give homage to the beauty of all the onyxes with their pearls, and all the sweet cocoa and vanilla cookies sweetening up the world. Yes, it all starts with going out there and dating white men, but it can lead to good solid matrimony.

Not only are black women marrying white men because they make a beautiful match, but their marriages also work. Let's discuss.

Why Black Female and White Male Marriages Work

  • Interracial couples are usually made up of two very open-minded people. This helps on the one hand because the couple has different backgrounds and such a match requires understanding, but on the other hand because the nature of marriage requires tolerance and respect for differences at all levels.
  • White men that go for black women REALLY go for black women. In other words, white husbands are crazy for their black wives. Robert DeNiro, for example, has always had a chocolate tooth, dating everyone from Tookie Smith to his wife Grace Hightower. Black-loving white men like our skin color, our hair, our lips, our souls, our backgrounds, and our hearts. I'm not saying that cheating is impossible, but white women usually aren't on their radar, and chances are your black female friends aren't looking to date white men.
  • We stick together. Even in today's world, Interracial couples get dirty looks, middle fingers, and negative comments thrown at them. When it's you two against the world, you feel bonded and highly dependent on each other for support. And that is a good thing.
  • You aren't likely to get bored. When your backgrounds are so different, you will find that there is a lot more to uncover, learn, and appreciate than if you married someone of the same race. You will have different foods, languages, ideals, beliefs, and sometimes even religions between you. There is a world of wisdom to uncover in your opposite, and that makes for an exciting life together.
  • A rare gem is hard to replace. Because your bond is partially based on a rare coming together of differences and beauty, chances are you will stick it out because such a connection is hard to find and replicate. Yes, black women and white men take walks down the aisle every day, but not to the extent that people in same-race relationships do. So if you love your black woman, or if you love your white man, you no doubt desire to keep them and cherish them forever.

-- As told by Grace Williams

Black Women Married to White Men: Why it Works

Black Women Married to White Men: Why it Works

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What tend to be some common traits of black-woman, white-man marriages?

These marriages tend to reflect the tone of traditional American marriages:

  • The white husband tends to be protective, somewhat dominant, and a primary-to- comparable wage earner.
  • The black wife tends to be very feminine and submissive, and a comparable-to-secondary wage earner.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

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