Forty, fat, and fabulous
BBW-big beautiful woman, this is somehow supposed to be a compliment or flattering, yet I couldn’t help but cringe when I heard it. Oh, I have been called worse…believe me, yet somehow I could not and cannot accept this as a positive thing. I could tell by his expression, he thought he had said something astute, or that in saying that I was a BBW, I was or am supposed to think more highly of him because he was/is “not like other men”-in that he was/is so “evolved” or somehow better than other men, because he sees/saw past my size.
I believe he was genuinely felt he had paid me a compliment, when he called me a BBW. However, I did not find being called big to be particularly complimentary.
Big beautiful woman-big…by whose standards? I am a size 14. I know according to the “world’s standards” I am considered big, but look around…I am not much bigger than your average woman. Oh, I have heard many people say you can never be too rich or too thin…but what is wrong with not being a size 3?
Why couldn’t he have just said I was beautiful? I hear people say “She’d be beautiful if she just lost some weight”. Again, how does a woman’s size diminish her beauty in any way? Either they are beautiful or they are not. Why or how does weight factor in a person’s beauty? Simply put, it should not.
People assume because I am not a size 3, that I must be insecure or have issues with self-esteem. A big woman, a woman of my size or larger, could not possibly be content with whom I am or how I look…at least that is the impression, presumption, or assumption, of many, in my experience. Is this why so many men approach larger sized women, and after a few compliments and a few drinks, think they will get 'lucky?' I must be starved for attention or so grateful for whatever attention I get, that I will jump right into bed with the first guy who pays me even the slightest bit of attention. Ridiculous.
I am no more ‘starved’ for attention than I am ‘starved’ for food. I am more secure now at a size 14 than I ever was at a size 3. Twenty years ago, when I was a size 3, a few compliments and a few drinks might have gotten you laid…but not now. Clearly, over the course of the past 20 years, my age, weight, and size, are not the only numbers that have grown…my IQ has grown as well.
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Raquel L Pierson (author) from Lancaster Ca on September 03, 2014:
Thank you ThoughtsWriter! In a world seemingly obsessed by appearances, it's not always easy, but I try.
ThoughtsWriter from America on June 05, 2014:
Good for you. Way to be confident.
Raquel L Pierson (author) from Lancaster Ca on February 24, 2011:
LMAO Yeah, I've come across that one too! Nothing really surprises me anymore! ;) Their loss either way! Thanks for taking the time to read and post!
magelle on February 24, 2011:
What about the condition some of these guys are in themselves? Like the guy who is at least 50lbs over-weight but wants a "slim girl".... Unbeleivable!!