Learn how to decode the hidden signals.
If you knew a girl wanted to talk to you before you said a word, don't you feel you'd be a lot more confident?
Have you ever been in a situation where you are surrounded by girls that you'd love to talk to but aren't feeling very confident? It happens to all of us. We're afraid of rejection. We're afraid that this girl will see us walking over, and be thinking "Oh God, I really don't want to talk to this guy.". I'm not going to say this will never happen (although likely far less than you're afraid) but I do want to give you a very simple and powerful way to increase your chances, as well as confidence.
I'm talking about the power of Eye Contact.
While eye contact can help you seem more confident and convey a great deal about yourself, it can also telegraph your intentions. There are many nuances to eye contact but here is a very simple way to decode someone's intentions just by looking into their eyes.
First, be within 15 or 20 feet of a girl you'd like to talk to. Put on a pleasant, open appearance and look into their eyes. The trick here is not to stare, you might come across as creepy. If she doesn't look back, that's ok. Go on with your night, find someone new or try again in a minute or two. When she does look back you have one rule: DO NOT LOOK AWAY FIRST. I can not stress this enough. You'll find out why as you read on.
One of the following six things will happen.
1. She'll look DOWN after a second. If she does this, it's a subliminal sign that she is excited by you or intimidated by you. It could also be a sign that she feels she's below you. Basically, you should talk with her immediately. Like, within 5 seconds. It will show her that you are as confident as she thought.
2. She'll look SIDEWAYS after a second. If she does this it likely means you aren't that interesting to her. It could also be a sign that she sees you as an equal, or not a viable partner. If I get this signal I usually move on. Later I'll see if she sends any other signals.
3. She'll look UP after a second. Rarely will this happen, but if it does it means this really isn't worth your time. She feels she is well above you and you do run the risk of your fear being realized. Guys, this doesn't mean that SHE IS above you, just how she's feeling about it. Don't derive any self worth from it. Let her think what she thinks and move on to someone worth your time.
4. She'll SMILE and look away in any direction. TALK TO HER NOW. Forget the direction, although if she smiles and looks down you're pretty much golden. I can't stress this enough, if a girl smiles, give yourself an emotional pat on the back and go talk to her. She's waiting for you.
5. She'll quickly get distracted. Rats! Lost opportunity. You won't get any real signals from this, just move on and come back if you want to later.
6. She won't look away. Your first instinct will be to look away after a second or two. DO NOT DO IT! Eye contact is one of our most primitive forms of showing status and confidence. If she's holding your gaze there is a reason. If you look away you'll have blown it. It will feel like an eternity but remember, this tension and awkwardness easily translates into excitement. Hold the gaze, approach, and speak. At the very least she'll be interested in why you had such confidence to never break eye contact.
Guys are always looking for great pickup lines but learning to use and decode eye contact means you never need them. If a girl looks down, smiles, or holds your gaze you can walk up and say "Do you like Salad?" and it'll likely turn into a great conversation.
The best thing about this is that it will give you confidence. Confidence is like a feedback loop. The more you have, the more you telegraph to others, the more they reflect it back, the more you have.
How do you use eye contact? Do you know of any other easy to read signals we get from it? Add to the comments below!
Herbie J on May 25, 2018:
I’ve lost so many opportunities with women that have shown interest first. They will be smiling and looking at me and I look away and damn it’s a loss. They look down and move on. I am going to practice on looking in their eyes and smile back. That will be my first accomplishment
Michael Edward black on March 31, 2018:
I'm musical and poet and kissable I have guitar. I love long hugs and I'm sweet honest lovable I like candle light dinner. For 2 romantic movies I have a keyboard I'm songwriter. I'm a. Singer and performer I love slow dance
xPredictx on April 21, 2017:
When she stares back give a light smirk don't give a big smile. If she smiles go approach her and say hi. The worst that could happen is you get her number. Best that could happen is you could make out with her
radium on June 26, 2015:
Lookin continously means she is feeling loved with you...
kieran on April 21, 2015:
I got my own take on 'looking up.' If you turn to look and at girl and she quickly jerks her head up, it means she was looking at you and she was pretending that she wasn't.
akki on January 17, 2015:
please tell me when i come to her shop she look me for 1 second and she no looking can u tel me idea
Prince on December 06, 2014:
Actually i m very shy about girls.one day i was walking in a park.a beautiful girl interested me she staired again and again i afarid of for rejected if i asked unfortunately i lost opportunity
mark on June 04, 2014:
@ Jen. You are missing the point. And if you want to look up and think it is confidence. Well you are going to miss out on guys you hope to come talk to you. I never bother with girls who look up after first eye contact. It is a big get lost sign. Also you sound rather bitter. Learn to play the dance, or do not and miss out on quality guys. Everything written here is true, like it or not. Adjust to reality or miss out. Why would you look up if you are interested in being approached. Ask yourself that.
Lee on May 25, 2014:
And what if after looking at you for a few seconds she doesn't look up, down or sideways but she looks straight ahead in the direction she was walking before she turned sideways to hold your gaze?
Paul on March 29, 2014:
I looked away on number 6, doh!
My first reaction was to look elsewhere and then back at her eyes a few times while she kept gazing with an inviting smile.
She is way out my league though....as I passed her I had a look of curiosity as if 'did that just happen' so you never know.
X on March 25, 2014:
She is a known person, and we both stare, do i like her?
Daniel on March 23, 2014:
Thanks for saying that Jen, I thought I was the only one who disagreed with number 3
jen on March 03, 2014:
#3 "If she looks up for a second she isn't worth your time..." So, basically you're advocating to give up on any girl that might be confident enough to look you back in the eye (therefore wishing to engage in a real conversation) in favor of a girl who will be submissive and fawn over your "oh so sexy stare". Geez...the world does not need any more men like you.
peter on November 29, 2013:
Psalmson on July 24, 2013:
I also notice about dis when the woman is describing something to me i look into her eyeball immediately she told me she will leave me ooo i jst wonder what she thinking about .... can any body tell me what shes thinking about?