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Are You Losing Interest Over Your Partner Over Distance?

Bhartashree Gogoi is a writer on Storystar and allpoetry since four years and has been in a healthy relationship with her girlfriend for 3.

Is your long distance relationship really working?

Is your long distance relationship really working?

Lost over long distance

Love starts off under a beautiful sky so bright that you often don't want to see anything beyond it and it's perfectly normal. You might even find yourself planning your future with your significant other and in them you might see hope and promises. But in the long run, not even necessarily that long; every relationship goes through trials and the happy train turns into a rollercoaster and so it goes up and down until it comes to a halt and everything just settles; either in the good way or the bad.

However it's apparently easier to ride on a rollercoaster with your loved one sitting right beside you; you have an assurance that you can hold them when you're scared. In contrary, once you start feeling that you're the only one on the ride and your loved one is there but just watching from a distance, insecurities come crawling by and you eventually get scared. It might happen in a same way in a long distance relationship. You might love them a lot and even know that they love you back too but that doesn't feel enough and doesn't comfort you anymore. It's only normal that the hot spark in your relationship is fading away and your feelings are somewhere lost over distance.

Losing interest in your long distance partner

After a while, you may start to lose interest in your long distance relationship or your partner or both. You might desperately try to hold it together as you are afraid of doubting your love for them. Moreover you probably talked of forever so it's only natural to be afraid when that forever seems blurred but you might also feel like it's unnecessary and a wastage of time and effort to try sewing together a relationship with straws.

However, admitting losing interest doesn't really mean that you never loved them or that it was always only supposed to be a swing and you mistook it for love. Because in reality, love can be tiring and loving someone deeply doesn't mean that you can't move on or fall for someone else. Even epic romantic relationships in the world can fall apart over long distances.

In this article you'll explore lack of interest in a long distance relationship, its causes, signs and what you can do about it.

Possible reasons for losing interest in a long distance partner:

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  • Your schedules don't overlap and you can't find enough time for each other.
  • You can't physically be with each other so it disturbs you all the time.
  • You feel like they don't understand or relate to your problems anymore like they used to.
  • Lack of intimacy can indeed be a major problem, more than major if sex is really important for you. Even if it isn't, you'd still want to feel the warmth of your partner and it's perfectly normal.
  • There's a constant feeling of emptiness inside you and you feel like you're stuck in a formality rather than a relationship and feel lonely all the time.
  • It feels worse when they fall asleep over calls. You feel like you don't get to talk whole day and they fall asleep in that little time you get too. Hence, you feel less valued and more ignored. Even if you might understand that sleep is important, the fact that they couldn't spare a little time for you still disturbs you.
  • It feels like all the conversations are just formalities when they are merely nodding and not responding much when you tell them something.
  • Their apparent lack of interest is making you lose yours.
  • You either don't have any physical memories together or only limited memories. And it seems impossible to hold onto just them when you don't even know for how long.
  • If you were physically together, just a hug would've replaced an hour long conversation. But in your long distance relationship, there's no such thing possible and you're running out of topics; your phone calls hence get boring.
Constant feeling of emptiness

Constant feeling of emptiness

Signs that you're losing interest

  • You argue rather than talking things out sharing happy moments.
  • You don't feel like talking to them. In fact, you might feel wronged when they don't call you or text you but even when they do, you might still get frustrated and tired.
  • Most of the time you feel sad and tired. You've longed to be together for so long that you're now tired of longing at all.
  • You feel like you can't enjoy anyone's company, even your friends' as your long distance relationship is holding you back.
  • You're constantly thinking that you deserve better or that you should be seeing new people but again, your long distance relationship is holding you back.
  • Lack of physical intimacy is leaving you depressed and frustrated.
  • The spark in your relationship has long gone and your heart no longer skips a beat upon hearing their name or mentions.
  • You don't feel excited about any kind of contact with them, be it texts or video calls.
  • You can't see a future with them anymore and don't want to plan anything that involves them.
  • Whenever they confess their love you, it doesn't feel exciting or even real anymore and when you say "I love you too", you feel a hollowness in your own words and don't want to say it a lot.
  • You feel offended at slightest of the things they say. You'd feel frustrated even when they just say, "I have a test, I should study now." you know it's wrong but feel wronged instead.
  • You're simply tired of talking to your partner online without being able to hold them or see them face to face.
  • You either feel like you're holding onto a rotting relationship because you can't find someone else at the moment or that you're the only one making efforts.
Distance is apparently not nothing compared to love

Distance is apparently not nothing compared to love

What to do?

When you are living away from your partner, it's only natural to lose interest in him/her. In such a case, you should do the following:

  • You can try to spice things up again by confronting them and telling them to give you their time you deserve. You can watch a movie together online and laugh passing comments later. You can write pdf diaries about how you met and came together and how you felt about each other in different days then exchange your diaries. You can play games together. But if they still can't find out time for you then refer to the following.
  • Try to look from their point of view and find out how valid the reasons are. Make sure that they are not cheating on you. If they are, then simply talk to them and end it from both sides.
  • Try expressing to them about how you feel. If they agree, then end it on good terms and remain or don't remain friends depending on what you think is right for you.
  • If they rather insist on continuing and ask for another chance, then it's worth considering. However, do not consider if you think it'll affect your mental health. Moreover, if you've rally lost your interest over them, then continuing such a relationship would make no point and it'd adversely impact both you and your partner.
when your relationship is not working

when your relationship is not working

  • If you think they are toxic and disrespectful towards you, obsessed with you, or judging you for your decision, or still clinging on you when you strictly said no, or blaming you while they are going out with another, then make no mistake! They are not showing love, they are being unhealthy for you. Take a deep breathe, block them out from everywhere. Take another breathe, delete your pictures with them as it's gonna be only tormenting.

© 2022 Bhartashree Gogoi

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