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Don't be her

Author:
But I love you

But I love you

Do you find yourself in a situation where one of you believes you are in a relationship and the other does not? Do you always make yourself available for them, but they do not for you? Are you the one who doing all the phone calls and texts? If you have answered yes to these questions you are not in a relationship and you deserve better. Here is why you do.

Time after time I see and hear from women complaining about the same issues when it comes to relationship and men.

So many women do this to themselves repeatedly without even knowing they are doing so. You are settling for any man to give you what you think is love. It is not love. It is a temporary fix to mask the underlying issue in yourself. That is loving yourself enough to not be treated as a doormat.

Some men do not take the emotions of a woman into consideration; especially when they are just after one thing from you. Those kinds of men will tell you what they want to hear in order to get into your bed. Let us assume you are ok with it. A week or two go by and the two of you are spending more time together. You go on a few more dates, more sex, few texts and calls here and there. At this point, is it safe to assume you are in a relationship? No. You are the only one believing yourself to be. He is just being courteous. Some men do not even begin to think they are in a relationship until sometime later.

A few more days or weeks have gone by. You are happy you believe he is still interested. So some more time has passed and now the communication is diminishing, and you have not seen one another. You keep calling and texting and not getting any responses. You begin asking yourself “Are we done” leaving you to start questioning what happened, what did you do wrong? So now you are left with all these questions and need answers. What do you do to get them? Do you show up at his doorstep unannounced? No. Do you leave long messages on his voicemail? No. Do you go to places he hangs out? No. These are all things you should not do however these are definitely things some of you do.

Ladies if men show you this type of behavior it is best to accept that it is over. It was not a relationship; it was a fling. If you find yourself in this scenario repeatedly try a different approach next time. You should never give up on finding love. Try these few tips.

  1. Do not make yourself 100% available for him. (Yes, we want him to know we are interested he just does not need to see it 150%) They will see you as needy and clingy.
  2. Take your time in responding to his texts, show him that you have a life outside him
  3. Go out with your friends (Definitely avoid the places you know he may be)
  4. Do things for yourself: Enjoy a hot bath, glass of wine with a good book. Sometimes the best time with anyone is with yourself.
  5. The first few signs he shows you he is not into long term relationships. RUN! There is your first red flag warning.
  6. Do not sell yourself short by assuming this is the best guy you will ever meet.
  7. Do not ever show up at his home or job (he may possibly embarrass you for doing so or worse call the police on you as a stalker lol)
  8. When he decides to call you or text you at a very late hour (probably because he is out drinking with his friends or another). DON’T answer or respond. He just wants to get in your pants. You are worth more than a booty call.
  9. DO NOT call him or text him and say you miss him. (this is not healthy, and you will be back where you started a doormat again)
  10. BEST thing ever for yourself is to NEVER LET HIM SEE you crying or how desperate you look to him by not doing all the above.

I hope this help you ladies. I say this with the utmost respect to all of you. Give yourself all the respect in the world. You deserve to be treated & loved as you wish to be loved & treated.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2021 Lynn Rocha