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Are You A Giver Or Taker


A Giver or a Taker

Simply put a giver is one that gives, and a taker is one that takes. Can't get any simpler than that. In both instances we extend our hand, either literally or figuratively. When we extend it, we are expecting to get, or to give something.

The Giver

I chose to list giver first, because that's what most of us think we are, or want to be. There are several types of givers. The first type, is the one most of us would love to be, that's the one who gives unconditionally, unselfishly, without giving a thought to what they've done. Then there's the giver who lives to give, because it makes them happy to do so. How about the one who gives freely, only they're doing it with ulterior motives. As the saying goes, "one hand washes the other." There are always conditions attached. In other words I gave you, now you give me. Maybe they even attach the proviso, "one day I'll come to you for a favor, and you must do it." Let's not leave out the one who gives generously, but their name must be prominently attached, so all can see who gave. Make no mistake, giving under most circumstances is good. However, before you become the recipient of any of these "gifts," count the cost.

The Costs

Consider this, suppose you need a substantial sum of money, to save your car, home, or maybe even your life. And a very generous donor steps up, and offers to donate the entire amount. Now, mind you, you really need this money, and at times you've even said you'd do almost anything to get it. Will you? Suppose the donor tied strings to the donation. Let's just say you needed a heart, and the donor agreed to put up the money for the heart. The stipulation being, you'd have to give him your first born, whom you've stated you'd give your life for at a moment's notice. What about that house you've lived in most of your life, and put in blood, sweat and tears. The donor would save the house, but the stipulation is he must have the key, to come and go as he pleases. Granted both are extremes, and greatly exaggerated, but at times a simple "generous" gift can feel like the description above. In both instances, consider, could you live with your decision, in either case. So if you're in line to receive a "generous" gift, examine the terms, and make sure you understand what is being offered, and under what circumstances.

You the "giver," examine your motives for giving. Are you expecting anything in return, or it this just a purely unselfish act on your part, (I'm just saying)?

The Taker

Here again there are different types of takers. One type, the most prominent one, the person who always has their hand out, literally. There is also the reluctant taker, only taking out of necessity. What about the first one. Always with their hand out, the one most hate to see coming. It's always, "I need, I want, can I have, would you let me,I should have, and so on." Never offering anything, even in return for what they're asking for. When the plate is passed, they never add to it, always taking when they can get away with it. Forever with their hand out to not only friends and family, but publicly, (public assistance, and the like). This is not to say that taking, or asking, is in itself wrong, because there are people genuinely in need of assistance, and they should not be vilified for asking, and receiving. This illustration concerns the person who, can acquire things on their own, through hard work, but elects to receive it the easy way, from the hard work of others. For instance, have you ever been to a "potluck" where everyone is asked to bring a dish, and our "taker" arrives with nothing, or a very meager amount. He proceeds to load his plate to the gills, several times. Then when it's time to go he gets a take home plate, again filled to the gills. Now, keep in mind this is a person who can afford to do better, but elects to benefit from the hard work of others.

The Joy Of Giving

But wait, the reluctant taker is not exempt from criticism. Why, you ask? Well, look at it this way, the Bible says, "there is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving." The reluctant taker is probably the one who always gives. So who gets the most joy in life? This person is always the generous, magnanimous one, always stepping up to the plate, as it were. So when they're in line to receive, either through need, or just the generosity of others, they refuse. They have, in effect, taken away the joy of giving, from someone else. The happiness, the generous giver would have received is not realized because his gift has been rebuffed. So, you, the reluctant receiver, before you draw back your hand, give that some thought.


In conclusion, the question again, are you a giver or taker? After some soul searching, and careful introspection, you find you're not the person you want to be, giver or taker, changes can, and should be made. For once take the other route, see where it leads you, you might be pleasantly surprised.


Vespa Woolf from Peru, South America on December 13, 2012:

You're too cute. : ) Living in Peru, I missed all the hype. I'll have to look you up on youtube. I'm sure your radiant personality shines through on the tube, as well!

Alfreta Sailor (author) from Southern California on December 13, 2012:

Whew! A word I didn't know, (pithy), had to look it up before I commented, LOL! Now I can say thank you for the comment.

Thank you for that very nice compliment, however, I don't think they were especially interested in my writing, maybe the substance that would play well on TV. But again, thank you, you're too nice. Please come back.

Vespa Woolf from Peru, South America on December 13, 2012:

It seems it would be best to be both a giver and a taker! I agree--there's more happiness in giving but we have to let others have that joy, too. I really appreciate what you say about those who give to others with ulterior motives. It's best to be wary of such people. For them, money is power and that's not necessarily a good thing. I really enjoy your writing style and pithy wisdom. No wonder you're so popular and have been discovered!

Alfreta Sailor (author) from Southern California on May 07, 2012:

Such keen insight badmofo, you said some things that I've never thought of before. One is, "most people who ask for your advice or your ear take no one's advice and don't listen to anything else you say either." I've got to keep that in mind the next time someone asks me for advice.

Thank you so much for that very insightful comment. Also thanks for the compliment.

I look forward to visiting your hubs, and to seeing you here again. Thank you for stopping by.

badmofo from The Universe on May 04, 2012:

Fastfreta, You have a gift of insight and wisdom (rare for SoCal...gotta love that!). This theme has weighed on my mind recently because when people become too cumbersome, I have to get in the "workshop" and scrutinize it.

I read something recently that said that the biggest error most people commit against each other is the waste of their time (I heard "waste of your LIFE"), so I start paying attention mid-stream now.

I realized (nobody's problem, just my own epiphany) that most people who ask for your advice or your ear take no one's advice and don't listen to anything else you say either. I think that they can't.

They keep doing what they've always done (including calling you). The people who keep answering keep doing what they've always done too, until they take a look at that.

Amazingly, most takers aren't malevolent. They're just that oblivious which is the part that keeps blowing me clean away.

Alfreta Sailor (author) from Southern California on April 06, 2012:

Thanks franciaonline, your statement, "Accepting or taking something makes us humble because it takes a lot of inner strength to ask for help or to receive help," is so profound and worth adding to my hub. Although I won't I do hope it will be read by those reading this hub.

Thanks you again for your very insightful comment.

franciaonline from Philippines on April 06, 2012:

Wow fasfreta, you illustrated here the types of giver and taker we see very day.

Accepting or taking something makes us humble because it takes a lot of inner strength to ask for help or to receive help.

A very insightful article.

Alfreta Sailor (author) from Southern California on January 06, 2012:

Thanks Myrtle, I will go over and take a look at your hubs. By the way, welcome to hubpages. Thanks for stopping and taking the time to leave a comment, hope to see you again here soon.

myrtle McKinley on January 05, 2012:

Hi Fastfreta

Loved this hub and look forward to reading all your others. I too, write about my musings, and would be grateful if you would check out my hub, since I am new to hubbing. Thanks again for this wonderful piece


Alfreta Sailor (author) from Southern California on December 06, 2011:

Thank you MsDora, points well made.

Thank you Lauren for your validation and encouragement.

Thank you both for stopping, hope to see you here again soon.

Lauren on December 06, 2011:

An Excellent Article which gives all of us something to think seriously about.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on December 06, 2011:

Very practical! We give and receive a blessing. We also need to take when someone else gives for that person to receive his/her blessing. Love does both.

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