40 and Counting
On the occasion of his 40th birthday, I thought it was high time I introduced my readers to Anthony, my best half. While his beard shows signs of gray and the hair on his head has seen more luxurious days, his countenance is one of perfection to this, still hopelessly enamored, older woman. Our 13 year difference in age has been troublesome to some at times, but to the two of us, it has meant little, if nothing. But it has been quite a ride for us, and I mean to share some small snippet of this fantastic story here intending to show that the 'impossible' is not always so.
OMG, Watch Em Fly!
One year after studying language and medical delivery systems at the University of the Pacific and in the People's Republic of China, I met and became engaged to a man in Southern California. He was an up and coming executive who worked with troubled youth in his community. My family couldn't have been happier with my choice, and we were to be married in Orange County's Crystal Cathedral. I arranged for doves to be released upon the completion of our vows-drama all around.
Looking back, I realize that this pending wedding had more to do with familial approval than personal desire, for I was not in love with the man. But, carried away by the grand plans, I continued to fool myself into thinking this was what I wanted, so all went according to plan-that is, until I met one of his 'charges.'
Enter Anthony...In a Sense
When I first laid eyes on Anthony, it was far from love at first sight. Here I was, a 33 year old engaged woman, he, a 16 year old kid with a stunning array of pimples on his still childlike face. My fiancé at the time was intent that this young boy and I get to know one another, since he prided himself on helping such wayward boys-my feminine perspective was what he wished for the child. I had rented a townhouse in Torrance, California, in preparation for the nuptials. My fiancé suggested that Anthony move into the spare bedroom since he had no home. And so, the boy moved in to my domicile, and we began to get to know one another.
Ahh, My True Love...
And So It Went...
I don't recall when it happened exactly, but I found myself falling in love with a boy. Now, close quarters can encourage the oddest of alliances, but in our case, it was something more. In retrospect, I see it as the perfect symbol of 'Camelot,' however at the time, it was both illegal and untoward for a woman my age to display love for such a young thing. We continued to grow as platonic friends as my engagement fell to pieces. My fiancé was nonplussed, and within a year, Anthony and I hoofed it to the California's Central Valley, where I became his legal guardian.
One More Year
We were the very best of friends, and I can't tell you how difficult it was to remain 'just pals.' He was 17 by then, and I am certain that his hormones were in overdrive. I must say that this was a true test of our friendship, and we managed to maintain a platonic relationship with one another. To some extent. Ours was an intensely insinuative relationship, full of teasing and play...
Our Wedding Picture
...which remained that way until January 29, 1988, when Anthony and I married. He had been 18 just shy of 2 months, but it was time for the torture to end. And it did, indeed! Within a year, we became the proud parents of a little boy. Anthony and I were an oddly matched duo, often met with questioning looks, but lovers and parents nonetheless.
This Hub is not meant to encourage such age discrepancy. However, I hope to show that the most unlikely pairings can become successful relationships. We have been married now for 28 years, met with many obstacles, and yet are still the best of friends. My 'troubled youth' has become a successful and earnest man whose humor and love has kept our relationship thriving.
I write here, today, for my love.
Ruby Carol on August 13, 2020:
I can certainly testify that age is but a number. I met my husband and married him when I was 1 day past 60 and he was 87. We heard it all concerning the age difference. He left TX where he had lived for almost 60 years to come back to his roots in VA and we were married. Our marriage was to the man who was the love of my life. He lived to the age of 106 having been married for 18 wonderful years. He died Feb 1st and has left a huge void in my life. To me he was ageless and no one ever could guess his age...it was fun to him to see if anyone could guess. It never happened. He looked and acted 20-25 years younger than his age. He was a preacher and that is how we met. He came from TX to VA to preach a week long revival. He stayed with my family while he was here. We were equally yoked in every way although it was a 'mixed' marriage. He was black and I am white. His son came to see me about 6 weeks after he passed and said, "I wanted to thank you for giving my Dad 18 years of a new life. I never saw him happier, look better, have a pep in his step until he married you." He made a lasting impression on ALL eleven of my grandchildren. They were all there at his celebration of life, along with 400+ friends, family and loved ones. Over 30 preachers and moderators came to see him off and it all happened BEFORE this pandemic hit. Thank you for sharing this story with us. God bless you.
Caryl on March 29, 2014:
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on May 02, 2012:
What exactly do you mean? I'd be happy to discuss this in email form.
Every human being on this planet makes choices in life-I did and am not ashamed by the choice I made.
I would be fascinated to receive a note from you describing your point of view.
janesix on May 02, 2012:
Kind of sickened by this. And the responses.
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on April 12, 2012:
We are still together, and wiser-I hope-and much more than happy, Charlotte!
I guess we're both followers that we had forgotten!
Take care now,
Charlotte B Plum on April 12, 2012:
This is quite a story! Enjoyed it very much, and I have a lot of respect for the both of you.
I clicked your name and I realized that I was following you too! I must have begun following you for quite a while now, as it has only been recently that I've begun to leave comments after reading.
suebee62 from South Carolina on March 30, 2012:
Beautiful hub story. I don't think that age really has anything to do with love. You were respectable to wait until he turned 18 before you married. You can't help who you fall in love with. I know many women who are 10-15 yrs older than their husband and as happy as can be. My hubby is 5 years younger than me, I was 22 and he was 17 when we met, didn't date or marry for 10 years as he waited for me to "come around"
Love your love story....
Elena@LessIsHealthy on May 01, 2011:
6hotfingers3 on March 19, 2011:
Great hub! It shows love has no barriers. I respect the two of you for making sure it was love and not lust before the two of you married. Good real life love story.
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on March 15, 2011:
Ahh, Peg, you said it! Funny, just last night we bickered a bit, and my son panicked, thinking it was a huge fight. Anthony and I made up within 30 seconds!
We are incredibly compatible!
Thanks for the visit.
Peg Cole from North Dallas, Texas on February 10, 2011:
Lorlie- A beautiful story with a happy ending. I love it. Age is overrated. Compatibility is what really makes things work. And of course, finding someone who keeps you laughing. Cougars rule!
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on November 15, 2010:
Age difference can be enlightening, no matter who is the eldest! Thanks, CASE1WORKER, for coming by!
CASE1WORKER from UNITED KINGDOM on November 15, 2010:
My husband is 12 years older- the onlytime it really shows is in music choice! i dont remember the 50's and early 60's like he does
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on October 30, 2010:
Thanks gr8ful! Thanks so much for coming by-I'm curious how our stories are similar!
Enjoy your life, I sure am.
gr8ful on October 30, 2010:
WOW Lorlie, that is so so similar to my story right now, it's incredible. A couple of different twists and turns, but very close! It is really wonderful to hear that it is truly possible. Thanks for giving an "old lady" hope! ha ha! Congratulations on a deeply beautiful, love filled journey!
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on October 26, 2010:
Thank you, Winsome! 22's not looking so bad, at that!
I appreciate the visit.
Winsome from Southern California by way of Texas on October 26, 2010:
Great story Laurel, when you follow your heart, time is not. Congratulations on turning 21 together. =:)
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on October 23, 2010:
Hey sofs, I thank you for your comment. Be 'sweethearts for ever' seems to be the best advice ever! That's exactly how we treat one another!
Sophie on October 22, 2010:
Lorlie, this was an awesome read..so beautiful. I like the fact that you say it, as it is.. you are an awesome woman.. I will tell you what has kept my truelove and me together .. a wish from an another.. she said .. " be sweet hearts for ever" I wish you now with the same wish..be sweet heart for ever!! God bless you!! sofs
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on October 16, 2010:
Thanks jca, I really thank you for reading!
email@example.com on October 15, 2010:
This was a joy to read! I enjoyed reading every bit... Very well written. Thankyou.
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on October 14, 2010:
Thanks, barby2kool! It's amazing, this wonderful love of mine...
Our secret? Humor! We tease each other mercilessly and keep one another in stitches...I thank you for coming by.
barby2kool from Connecticut on October 14, 2010:
I love reading love stories like yours, especially when they have a happy ending. The age difference only makes it a bit more interesting..I'm happy for you and I wish you 21 more wonderful years.
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on September 21, 2010:
You're so very right, ahorseback. We're still going strong. I'm glad you stopped by for a read!
ahorseback on September 21, 2010:
Lorlie , The power of love is an awesome thing , and comes from the strangest directions , If what we have works well ,then it is precious in itself! Good for you guys , stay well.
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on September 01, 2010:
Sweet Eiddwen-what a dear comment! Age difference can be disastrous or no issue at all. Your experience was horrible, and I can't imagine what you must have gone through.
The wondrous thing is that somehow, most of us do find our true loves at last but often at great cost. You poor dear, 17 years old and so very confused, I imagine. I hope sincerely that he did not hurt you.
Relish your love today-I know you must!-and remember that for some reason, that man in your past taught you what love was NOT!
Thanks so much for reading.
Eiddwen from Wales on September 01, 2010:
I love this story and thank you so much for telling it. I was married for 26 years to someone 18 years older than me and it was a disastrous marriage. Not because of the age difference but because we had absolutely nothing in common. When we met I was 17 years old with a lot of issues and he was a 34 year old woman beating alcoholic. What I'm trying to say is that when you find true love you hang on to it and it has nothing to do with age but with the people that we are. I am very lucky to have met my true love at last and I'm now having the fun I should have had all those years ago. Thank you for being so honest in your writing lorlie6 that's what makes you a great writer!
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on August 17, 2010:
Thanks so much for the visit, Talitha87! Don't worry about one year at all...we've survived these 22 years beautifully-he' no kid to me now! :)
Talitha87 from 100% Australian made on August 17, 2010:
This is an amazing story! I have fallen now for someone a year younger than me and I feel way ahead of him! haha. but oh my goodness you give so much hope in this story, well done!! :)
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on August 08, 2010:
I'm so glad you came by to read this, Midtown Girl. It is true that anything can happen-We are living proof!
Midtown Girl from Right where I want to be! on August 07, 2010:
Lovely and story - thanks for pointing me toward it. So glad it worked out in the end, and that the two of you remain happy. See...all things are possible! You've inspired me. :-)
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on August 04, 2010:
You are so sweet, soumyasrajan. I am blessed and proud to have this wonderful man in my life-despite the obstacles!
Thanks so much for stopping by!
soumyasrajan from Mumbai India and often in USA on August 04, 2010:
Enjoyed your love story very much Lorie! It is indeed strange and nice phenomena. Whole world seems to say "No! don't do this" but heart is so strong it does not want to listen to any thing else. It is also of course needed that later one becomes equally responsible too to continue those sweet heart rythms for ever. Wish your family all the good luck.
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on April 26, 2010:
I love your take on the age difference since we don't want much to do with the world after the other's gone! I'm very pleased to hear that you found your mate as well-I don't think it's ever uncomplicated!
Alice Lee Martin from Sumner, Washington,USA on April 26, 2010:
Congrats on finding your soul mate! I found mine too, and it was an odd love story. No age difference, but let's put it this way...met #4 while still with #3 and that was not an easy thing to deal with....anyway..been together for 10 years now...and could not be happier. Your age difference these days is nothing...and since women outlive men...you two are probably the same age!
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on April 25, 2010:
Thank you, Micky!
Micky Dee on April 25, 2010:
Very pretty. It's a lovely story. Congrats and-
May you live as long as you want,
And never want as long as you live!
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on April 05, 2010:
Thanks for stopping by, Muktu-You're one of my personal heroes here on HP!
Muktu on April 05, 2010:
I really admire the openess and honesty of this personal hub. Thanks for pointing it out to me!
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on March 28, 2010:
Thank you, ripplemaker. Love is quite an extraordinary thing!
Michelle Simtoco from Cebu, Philippines on March 28, 2010:
Hi Lorlie, I am truly amazed at your story. It is stories like this that makes people see "love" at a different angle. LOL to love and romance and friendship! :)
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on March 25, 2010:
Let's hear it for older women!!!
TrixieGator on March 25, 2010:
well miss lorlie6~ my boyfriend is 10 years younger than me and my mom is married to a wonderful man who is 28 years younger than her.. i know love is unstoppable~ undeniable~
what a yummy story.. :)
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on February 24, 2010:
Donkey-I am now a rabid fan, and hope you find more of my Hubs interesting.
Cathi-You're a doll! Thanks for the wish for 21 more!!!!
Cathi Sutton on February 24, 2010:
What a remarkable story! I am so glad you and your husband have stuck it out and remain devoted and happy! Here's to 21 more years together!
The Donkey from Little Rock, Arkansas on February 19, 2010:
Good story, Lorie!
I haven't really heard anything like that before, but it was interesting.
You should follow me and read some of my hubs. I'm sure you'd enjoy them
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on February 13, 2010:
Ladybird, you are so very right!
Thanks so much for sharing your joy.
Ladybird33 from Fabulous USA on February 13, 2010:
I love this story! Finding love is so powerful, just embrace it and enjoy it!!! All my best to you.
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on February 13, 2010:
Wow, Tammy-I really appreciate such words from a fine writer. Thanks for your input-it means alot!
Tammy Lochmann on February 13, 2010:
What a nice love story. Age is just a number. You can't put a price on happiness can you. I am enjoying reading your stories they are very well written and full of raw emotion.
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on February 12, 2010:
Dennel and Moulik-I am so glad that you stopped by!
Moulik Mistry from Burdwan, West Bengal, India on February 12, 2010:
I think you have got a unique way to express yourself to others - and I wish you get a cathartic response within yourself...
dbtyon from TEXAS on February 02, 2010:
Hi Lorlie... My name is Dennel. I LOVE YOUR STORY ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND!!!! I am a big believer in love, irrelevant of age. I know, sometimes, it is NOT appropriate (like when I was "molested" at the age of 11 by a man 20 years my senior), but the fact that I loved that man made a difference in my eyes. I almost married him when I was 19.
I hadn't thought about using Hubpages to tell my personal stories, but I think I will delve into that a little bit, thanks to you. I've done most of my writing in blogs on Facebook and such. Thanks for the inspiration. Your friend, Dennel
mdlawyer on January 30, 2010:
Great hub about relationship. Above all you are a wonderful hubber lorlie6! May be you are lucky to have plenty of time.
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on January 29, 2010:
I didn't get your question, irish. Would you email me instead?
theirishobserver. from Ireland on January 29, 2010:
Great Hub about your better half, love the car, thanks for your comments, hope you and anto are doing well, really love that car...can you post it over..
Justine76 on January 07, 2010:
:) that's good.
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on January 06, 2010:
He's cool with it! Neither of us can claim youth any longer, so on with being grown up!!!!
Justine76 on January 06, 2010:
This was a wonderful much needed reminder that there ARE still happy endings. I loved the bit about the glorious pimples...heheee How did hubby like that? :)
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on December 31, 2009:
Thanks, ralwus-the car is a part of the family now and rightly gets more attention than I. It's a 1966 British Austin Taxi, and getting to look like itself more every day.
ralwus on December 31, 2009:
Hmmm, sounds like a fairytale romance. Pretty awesome one too. Love the pictures and am gloating over his car in the garage. LOL Would I love to get a hold of that and do what I think he probably already did. Oooo you were very cute back then too, you two made a handsome couple and I am quite happy for you both. Long may you both prosper.
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on December 29, 2009:
My pleasure, brightforyou-our history has been pretty interesting!
Helen Lewis from Florida on December 29, 2009:
Lovely story! ~ thanks for sharing
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on December 27, 2009:
I see you have quite the pattern, BC, and it can work very well. I hope you find the love of your life as well!
Bovine Currency on December 27, 2009:
Lovely story Lorlie :) You say it well. Maybe you could try talking to our friend Miss Tantrum for me ;) I have more often than not ended up with older women. My ex wife was 3yrs older than me, before that I was playing around with a woman 7 yrs my senior and before that I was with one 22 yrs my senior. After my ex wife I was seeing a 'girl' 19 years old. Younger women just don't work for me. Age is not really important. If you are happy, that is the main thing :)
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on December 26, 2009:
Thanks, Cagsil, I thank you for your comment, and I just realized I've been spelling your name wrong all along...my apologies!
Raymond D Choiniere from USA on December 26, 2009:
Very nicely written Laurel. Thank you so much for sharing. :)
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on December 25, 2009:
Ken, I appreciate your comment and wish you a wonderful holiday!
Ken R. Abell from ON THE ROAD on December 25, 2009:
Good read. Thank you for sharing from your heart.
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on December 18, 2009:
Thanks for stopping by, rmcrayne!
rmcrayne from San Antonio Texas on December 18, 2009:
What a compelling story. Thanks for sharing your Happily Ever After with us lorlie.
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on December 13, 2009:
I guess after all is said and done, a difference in age makes the relationship all the more interesting!
Susan Keeping from Kitchener, Ontario on December 13, 2009:
Wow, what a story. I'm so glad you two are still together and happy. My best friend is about 15 years younger than her husband and they have been together over 15 years.
mega1 on December 10, 2009:
This is such a poignant story - and indeed age shouldn't be the obstacle it is. When people's souls mesh, it just is! Thank you for sharing some more of yourself with us, lorlie!
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on December 10, 2009:
Indeed, elayne, I do understand. Differences can surely be overcome!!!
Elayne from Rocky Mountains on December 09, 2009:
I enjoyed your love story. Even though my husband is only four years older than me - there is a whole world of difference because he is from a little tiny island and I was from a city. you may have read some of it in my hubs. There was also a lot of controversy in us marrying, but I wouldn't change it for anything.
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on December 09, 2009:
Thanks for stopping by, you gorgeous thing, you!
tantrum from Tropic of Capricorn on December 09, 2009:
WHAT A WONDERFUL LOVE STORY !!! I'm so happy for you !!!
cheers ! cheers ! cheers !!!! :)
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on December 08, 2009:
dohn121-It is an amazing how two people can come together, I wish you both the very best.
dohn121 from Hudson Valley, New York on December 08, 2009:
I feel a little better about my situation with a certain "Rayna H. Hurman" (who I wrote a hub about titled, "The Girl in the Avatar") after reading this. She and I are 14 years apart. She is in college and the two of us met last year while working together. At the time, the two could not be together due to her being with someone else. However, we spent a lot of time together after she and her then boyfriend broke up. Long story short, I had to move away, but the two of us keep in touch and sparks fly whenever we see each other.
I don't know about fate or destiny or love at first sight, but I do know how I feel about her. Thank you so much for sharing your story. All of us should be as lucky as you to have someone who cares so much about you, lorlie!
Mortgagestar1 from Weirton,West Virginia on December 08, 2009:
WE are now celebrating the "Cougar" revolution and when American Pie first introduced America to the MILF movement,
we were ready for women to take charge! We are so desensitised to the women teacher involved with the boy student, that it doesn't even rais ean eyebroe anymore.
I am glad you met your soulmate at an akward time and three cheers for the lasting relationship!
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on December 08, 2009:
VA-Well, I wouldn't say perfect...but he's amazing.
wsp2469-I blush. You're sweet.
habee-Go for it!
Holle Abee from Georgia on December 08, 2009:
Great story. I'm glad you two found each other! I think I'll "introduce" my hubby to HP readers!
wsp2469 from Alta Loma, Ca on December 08, 2009:
I'm torn. You like slightly younger men BUT you're already married. . .(sigh)
VacationAustralia from Australia on December 07, 2009:
What a beautiful and romantic life you have had! Your man must be near perfect for you. Congratulations on having the good sense to think for yourself!
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on December 07, 2009:
travel-I know! It was so crazy-'reverse discrimination' and all. Thanks for reading.
floating mind-I do believe it will!
floating mind from Chicago, Illinois on December 07, 2009:
I hope your marriage continues forever. And I see nothing wrong with the age gap. Nice story.
travelespresso from Somewhere in this exciting world. on December 07, 2009:
Great story lorlie - the age gap is so common the other way and no-one thinks much about it. Good for you to have overcome those irrelevant issues and to have found love. I'm very happy for you.
SweetiePie from Southern California, USA on December 07, 2009:
Well it worked out in the end, and now you are happy together. It sounds like a happy story to me.
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on December 07, 2009:
Beautybabe-It is truly a miracle of sorts that we even met! Thank you for your kind words, and I'll keep that book in mind.
itakins-I had the exact same feelings when raising our son...what if HE meets an older woman? Oh, my. I am very glad that you came by.
itakins from Irl on December 07, 2009:
It's interesting reading this story-on the one hand ,the mother in me says'Now if that was my son'! and on the other hand the romantic in me says 'What a beautiful love story'!I'm going with the romantic on this one.
My mother was almost 9 years older than my father-and they were truly in love right to the end.
Well done to both of you-and many continued years of love'
beautybabe on December 07, 2009:
Hello my dear friend Laural, I am so proud of you for telling how it was.This was a real love, even though as you said forbidden, nonetheless real for you and for him, and you are very brave to share this Laural. I met my second husband Richard,7 years after I left Phillip, and I love him so much. Like you, we have had so many obstacles, too many to even mention, probably could write a book too. I have even been told that I should write a book about my life. Maybe we could do one together, wouldn't that be fun. Letting people know that just because it didn't work the first time, there is no reason to think that there still isn't someone waiting somewhere for us, just for us, and no other, and when the time is right, we will meet them, and we proved that, we waited, the right time came and we grabbed it with both hands, and both are still very happy ladies. Yeh girl, we should be giving ourselves a big pat on the back because of what we have achieved, even with what life has thrown at us, we have survived and still are surviving to tell our stories. Take care dear friend and we will talk soon God Bless you and the family BB
Laurel Rogers (author) from Bishop, Ca on December 06, 2009:
How right you are, Green Lotus, and thanks for stopping by for a very lite read!
Hillary from Atlanta, GA on December 06, 2009:
What a nice story lorlie. You are so fortunate to have met your husband. True love does not relate to obstacles such as an age difference. My husband is 7 years my junior and we've been happily married for 30 years.