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I'm Single and I'm Okay

Susan has spent many hours counseling young women with stars in their eyes. Love is a choice and God is the author of true love.

Welcome back to All the Single Ladies. This writing completes the series on the topic of Singleness. If you landed on this page first, let me encourage you to click on the link to go back to the beginning.

In this writing, we will take a peek into the lives of Ms. Satisfied Single and Ms. Gratified Growth. Both of these women are independent, they do not need a man to feel complete. But they are also different from one another. Come along with me to see how they tick.


I am Satisfied

I am Satisfied

Satisfied Single

Being satisfied is a good thing, right? Yes, it is as long as it doesn't lead to stagnation or self-centeredness. Some singles are satisfied because they are stuck in their own little world. They are self-sufficient and like their life just the way it is.

A single may feel called to be Single. In I Corinthians 7:32-35 The Apostle Paul teaches about the advantages of singleness. He says the one who does not marry has more time to serve the Lord. She does not have to worry about pleasing a spouse.

Sometimes singles are self-centered but masquerade as being content. What lies behind your acceptance of singleness? Are you bothered by having to think about another person? Do you care more about yourself than of the welfare of others?

The questions posed:

Why is it everyone thinks you need a man to be complete? This single understands that being complete has nothing to do with any other person.

Why won’t people hear me when I say I am satisfied and NOT looking? It’s a legitimate question. It’s worth being prepared to give an answer for the hope that is within you. If you are strong in your Faith, your testimony and Love for Jesus is powerful. Your life will make a statement about contentment in Jesus.

Why should I share my life with anyone else I am a completely satisfied single. Although God has called us to be satisfied He has not called us to be self-consumed or selfish. A careful walk through our heart will help identify what is lurking inside. It is selfishness, stagnation or apathy. As we focus on Him who gave His life that we might live, we open our eyes to our calling and to those who are in need.

Growing In Christ

Growing in the Lord

Growing in the Lord

Gratified Growth

Although I may long to have a partner, I choose to use my singleness as an opportunity to grow in Christ, develop my God-given gifts, and increase in discernment and sensitivity to the promptings of the Spirit of God. Women who are gratified in their growth accept this period of their lives as ordained by God. They choose to glorify Him in their singleness

The questions posed:

  1. How do I Glorify God in my Singleness - · Definition- to adore; love intensely. Synonyms for glorify - (As you read these synonyms evaluate your own heart and ask do I glorify God? Highlight the synonyms that alert you to a deficit. Ask God to help you to glorify Him with your life.) Synonyms: Admire, be crazy about, be gone on, be mad for, be nuts about, be serious about, be smitten with, be stuck on, be sweet on, be wild about, cherish, delight in, dig, dote on, esteem, exalt, fall for, flip over, go for, honor, idolize, prize, revere, reverence, treasure, venerate, worship.
  2. How can I serve God in my Singleness? I'll hit on these two ways, just know that there are many more avenues.
  • Respond to needs - most of us are regularly exposed to people in need. Some needs may seem little to you but an offer to help meet this 'little' need may be huge to the recipient. Babysitting children so a mother can have a break is huge to the mother and may be fun for you. As you relieve the Mother you have the opportunity to sow kindness into her children's lives.
  • Look for ways to serve in the Church. God has given each of His children a Spiritual Gift. If you don't know what that is, you need to find out. Use the gifts God has given you to serve in the Church.

Jesus Loves Me

Jesus Loves Me

Jesus Loves Me

Jesus Is Calling

Every single must learn what each child of God must learn. Jesus is Lord and He wants first place in our life. When He is truly first place He comes to you as the lover of your soul and fills every need like no one here on earth could ever do.

There is no one on earth who can complete you. Only a woman/man who has found completeness in Christ can say she/he is fully satisfied.

Scroll to Continue

Now have I discouraged you all toward marriage? It is not my intent to put a damper on marriage after all God ordained it. What I am hoping you take with you is

  • The warnings and the reality checks.
  • To determine that you will not walk into a life-long commitment without knowing it is God’s will.

Reconcile and chase after your relationship with the Lord. Just as Sara found strength and peace in the midst of her nightmare .. each one of us, whether single, married, divorced or widowed, will find answers to our hearts needs in Jesus Christ our Lord.

Jesus is Calling as He asks:

  • Am the Lord of your Life? He tells us to present our bodies "a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God ... (Romans 12:1,2). Discipleship is a total sacrifice, total transformation of self, total lifetime commitment. Jesus must take precedence over everything else. When we realize what Jesus has done for us our hearts respond with surrender.
  • Am I the King of Kings to you? "You shall have no other gods before me" Exodus 20:3. That means nothing must come before your devotion to God.
  • Have I not promised I would I will never leave you or forsake you? Do you believe His promise or do you hold on to fear with a white-knuckled grip?
  • Do you know the depth of love I have for you? "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." He didn't wait until we cleaned up our act .. NO ... He gave up His ONLY son while we were yet in our sin to reconcile us to Himself .. What more could He give to show you how much He loves you?
  • Can you trust me enough to give me your heart? "'You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.' If you are God's child He requires (you must) your devotion and trust.
and He will Draw Near to You

and He will Draw Near to You

Draw Close To God

In conclusion, let me draw your attention to the One who loves you most. “So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you. James 4:7-8a NLT

In drawing close to God He imparts His attributes to you:

  • Discernment - He will develop this gift as you spend time with Him in prayer and in the study of His word.
  • Love for God and graciousness toward others
  • Transformation - As you renew your mind through scripture memory and time with God He will transform you from the inside out.
  • A living testimony - Your life will be a living testimony of the grace and sufficiency of God. We once were lost but now we are found. People will see Jesus shine through you.

Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Bottom Line Jesus is calling each of us to wholehearted sold out devotion to Him and to His word. Will you Respond to Jesus calling?

Give Me Jesus - Fernando Ortega

All the Single Ladies Quiz

For each question, choose the best answer for you.

  1. Being a Cinderella
    • Makes me Self-Centered
    • Makes Men Notice Me
  2. If I am Looking and Longing
    • I will find someone quickly to meet all my needs.
    • I will turn those needs to Jesus, he will complete me.
  3. Being Single and Satisfied
    • Means I am satisfied in my position, open to God and His plan, willing to serve Him in whatever way He choses.
    • Means I can indulge myself. I don't need to take care of anyone but me.
  4. If I am a Gratified with my Growth
    • I need to enjoy the ride because I've arrived.
    • I find my joy in growing and continue to draw near to God. He fills my love cup.


Use the scoring guide below to add up your total points based on your answers.

  1. Being a Cinderella
    • Makes me Self-Centered: +5 points
    • Makes Men Notice Me: -5 points
  2. If I am Looking and Longing
    • I will find someone quickly to meet all my needs.: -5 points
    • I will turn those needs to Jesus, he will complete me.: +5 points
  3. Being Single and Satisfied
    • Means I am satisfied in my position, open to God and His plan, willing to serve Him in whatever way He choses.: +5 points
    • Means I can indulge myself. I don't need to take care of anyone but me.: -5 points
  4. If I am a Gratified with my Growth
    • I need to enjoy the ride because I've arrived.: -5 points
    • I find my joy in growing and continue to draw near to God. He fills my love cup.: +5 points

Interpreting Your Score

A score between -20 and -8 means: ?

A score between -7 and 4 means: ?

A score between 5 and 12 means: ?

A score between 13 and 16 means: ?

A score between 17 and 20 means: ?

© 2017 Susan Ream


Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on November 06, 2019:

Thank you, Billie!

Billie Raucci from Illinois on August 01, 2019:

Great article!

Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on July 29, 2019:

Thank you, Cristine! I am glad you read encouragement in my words, it is my desire to encourage. :) Blessings to you!

Cristina Santander from Manila on July 28, 2019:

This is indeed an excellent hub !! Filled with great inspirational thoughts on being single, such a great encouragement. Thanks for sharing this with us. Blessings be with you always.

Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on February 01, 2018:

Thank you, Louise and schoolgirl, Blessings on you both!!

Louise Powles from Norfolk, England on February 01, 2018:

I have been married in the past, but am single now and do enjoy my single life. You've made some worthwhile and interesting points.

Rosemary Amrhein on December 10, 2017:

Lovely. Thanks I enjoyed this. Very valid points!!

Blessings on you



Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on October 03, 2017:

Thank you, Dianna. I truly hope that the words inspire and encourage single ladies. Appreciate the encouragement!

Dianna Mendez on October 03, 2017:

Thank you for writing a post that will inspire and give encouragement to single ladies. Very well written and full of hope. God bless you.

Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on September 21, 2017:

dashing, Yes, I believe it is more of a woman issue. In the first article of this series, I share the thoughts of a single with the Cinderella Complex. Most little girls grow up believing their handsome prince will come and whisk them off their feet, he will right all their wrongs and they will live happily ever after. It's called fairy tale thinking.

I never met a boy or man whose first priority was to find a lifelong companion either.

I agree that marriage, for the sake of marriage alone, is not a good goal. I think it's a trap many single women can fall into. As you say, the catalyst should rest in the person who makes you want to be married.

Thanks for your insight, dashing!

dashingscorpio from Chicago on September 21, 2017:

I wonder if this is more of a women's issue.

I've never known any man who had to sell himself on the idea that being single was okay.

From our point of view being in a relationship or married is not a "goal" we pursue. It's a "choice" just as being single.

When I was single I never felt miserable about my status.

I suppose it comes down to one's personality, social circles, and the overall outlook one has on life.

If I had not fallen in love with my wife I could have been content dating various women without ever getting married. For most men marriage is not a "goal".

What usually happens is women they date or spend time with gradually evolves into something more serious. It was never his "plan". He simply came to a realization.

In fact I believe no one should be looking to get married without (having someone) who causes them to want be married to (them). That individual should be the catalyst.

Susan Ream (author) from Michigan on September 20, 2017:

Thank you, luvly, Thank God for his protection!

Okoli Onyedika Joseph from Lagos on September 20, 2017:

Nice article dear.

Draw close to God and He will draw close to you.

In God, there's nothing like singleness.

When the king of Syria sent his army to capture Elisha in 2 Kings 6: 13, they came by night and surrounded Elisha, waiting for day break to attack.

Behold, wen his servant awoke early in d morning and saw that they were surrounded, he became afraid and cried out to Elisha.

Elisha replied him in 2 Kings 6 verse 16 : do not fear for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.

In God, we are always surrounded by numerous Angels keeping us company, protecting us and directing our path

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