As an introvert, it has always been extremely difficult for me to make new friends, let alone build the strong bond that most of us always crave. I’ve always looked for friendship, where I can trust the person as well as who can trust me enough to share things, which we wouldn’t share with just anyone. The person with whom I am so comfortable that I’m not exhausted after going out shopping or talking on the phone for hours.
Thankfully, I have got some really good friends over the years. The friends whom I can trust and share my deepest thoughts with without being judged. But, moving a few times and growing responsibilities, adds distance which results in losing touch with your friends. Talking on birthdays becomes the extent of friendship.
So, here I am, sitting in the city where I have lived for 3 years, and I haven’t found my person here, yet. When you are an introvert and have social anxiety issues, it doesn't help when making new friends. Despite that, I have tried to go forward and make new friends. Ultimately, I end up feeling overly pressurized. As a result, I gave up and started being in my own shell, doing what I like. Before I can realize it, I was longing for it.
I realized that I do like being alone. I like having my space. Being alone with my thoughts, my books, and my daydreams have become my happy place. I started liking to sit with a piece of paper waiting to be filled with my thoughts, my words.
Many of us truly enjoy our company. We feel content in that solitude and love to explore our own thoughts. Often, we create a world of our own and love being there. That is why being physically alone does not bother us much. Because we start to become our own FRIEND.
Friendship is an intensely intimate relationship. Disagreement and fights are inevitable. But, this conflict is something that brings us even more closer. Surviving adversity is what creates unbreakable strong bonds.
Your relationship with yourself is no different.
There are days when I wake up, and I’m annoyed with myself. But again, just like a friend, I know my love for myself is never-ending. And this strong foundation is what keeps me strong through the most grueling days. I encourage you to take out some time off your hectic schedule and get to know yourself. Don’t be afraid to confront bad thoughts. However, not all thoughts should be believed. Also, you might be surprised to know that they are as bad as you would have thought.
If you don't realize it, it is very crucial to have a loving and caring bond with yourself. Becoming your own friend will give you a friend for life. You can nurture yourself and allow the ultimate comfort when there is no one else.
In the era of Social Media, we often come across some self-love-motivating quotes. Undoubtedly, it sticks with us for some time but usually, we forget them with time. However, there are a few quotes which stuck with me and made me realize why it is important to have a friendship with yourself. And, today I want to share them with you as well.
"Nobody will ever make you happy. Nobody will ever make you complete. NEVER. EVER."
Every guru and spiritual master and even our own experiences have pointed to this great but life-shattering truth. And, it is not because they don’t love you or care for you. But with growing responsibilities, time for others decreases. However, nobody will ever make you happy the way you do.
"Don't expect anything from anybody. Neither Family nor friends."
This line hit me very hard. I started to see things from this perspective instantly. I started to understand people and their situations more. I started to feel how expectations put a lot of pressure on our loved ones. So, practicing this helped me to become a happier person and made me come closer to myself.
"Love unconditionally, but rely only on YOURSELF."
Everybody says, when you love someone unconditionally, it comes back to you. I totally agree that we should love wholeheartedly, but we should never expect to get it in return. We should never rely on that belief that it is going to come back. Just rely on yourself, and you will see that it is changing you internally.
Everybody has their own idea of friendship and love. They react and do things according to that. That is why it is difficult for someone to make you happy and complete. And, with nobody’s fault, you end up feeling lonely and blue.
Becoming your own friend takes a lot of persistence and effort. But, when you achieve that, your life gradually becomes happier and whole. No matter how hard or how amazing or how confusing life gets, you will never be truly alone if you harvest a loving relationship with yourself. No matter what sh*t life inexplicably throws at you, you can always rely on your own support to carry you through the dark times. There is freedom in knowing that you will always have yourself.
The best thing about becoming your own friend is that it’s a gift you will have for life, a gift that no one can ever take away from you, EVER.
© 2022 Vedika Pawan