The Real-Life Advantages and Disadvantages of Marriage

Marriage has been a part of human culture for thousands of years. Almost all cultures and religions on the planet have some sort of partnership ceremony.

In some cultures, men are allowed to have multiple wives; however in most places, marriage is limited to one man and one woman.

In modern times, marriage has become less popular, particularly in developed countries. The institution suffered a dramatic decline in the middle-to-late 20th century—partly due to increased divorce rates, but also because many couples have chosen not to marry at all.

The traditional concept of marriage has also been challenged in recent years by people who believe that gay couples should have the same opportunities to wed as straight couples do.

Below you'll find a list of the main advantages and disadvantages of marriage.

Advantages of Marriage

• Companionship. Most humans are not solitary and crave companionship. Life is enhanced when experiences can be shared with another person who cares and shares your interests and concerns.
• Acceptance. Marriage is an accepted way for two people to show their commitment to each other. Most institutions—from governments to corporations—have policies that give concessions to married couples.
• Endurance. Couples who marry have been statistically shown to stay together longer and are more likely to bond for life.
• Stability. Marriage benefits society generally because it is associated with stable families. Stable families produce happier children and a more stable society with less crime and fewer social problems.
• Finances. There are often financial benefits associated with marriage. Taxes are often lower. Financial issues and legalities such as inheritance can be easier to sort out when a couple is married.
• Partnership. Marriage is about sharing burdens and responsibilities, and that can lead to less stress (financial or emotional). Raising a child, for example, is relatively easier for two parents than it is for one.
• The Family Unit. Marriage gives a child two parents, which can help a child to develop into a balanced and happy adult. Children have two different role models to look up to and twice as much potential support, emotionally and practically.
• Sex. Marriage promises and helps deliver a happy sex life. Partners can get to know and fulfill each others' desires in a trusting long-term relationship. Monogamy also reduces health risks such as sexually transmitted diseases.
• Religious Reasons. Most cultures have religious reasons for getting married. A religious marriage can be a way for a couple to deepen their bonds to each other, as well as help them form a deeper relationship with God and receive His blessing.

By retirement, the average married couple has accumulated about $410,000 worth of assets, while those that never marry accumulate about $167,000. Divorced people average $154,000 accumulated assets at retirement.

Disadvantages of Marriage

• Infidelity. Fidelity is not a natural state for humans, especially during young adulthood when sex drive is its strongest. Most married sex lives fade over time, which can lead to affairs and other infidelities.
• The Rut. Many couples get stuck in a rut, repeating the same arguments over and over. The key differences in their personalities never go away. Petty problems and irritating habits become magnified over time. (These Marriage Counseling Questions You Can Ask Each Other can help.)
• Lack of Individuality. Marriage restricts an individual's freedom. Single people can happily live their lives pretty much as they please without having to be concerned with the needs or wishes of others, but marrieds must always consider others' needs.
• Family Conflict. Couples have to deal with their partner’s families, which can be a source of problems and conflict.
• Red Tape. Getting married can mean extra bureaucracy and red tape, especially when the wife changes her name and official documents such as social security and driver licenses have to be changed.
• Limitations. Society has moved on; the traditional idea of marriage is outdated. Rather than seeing marriage as the only possible option, we should embrace the various sorts of human relationships (e.g. single-parent families, gay couples, etc.) and expand our definitions and limits.
• Conformity. Marriage is about seeking approval from civil and religious authorities when it should be just the opinions of the two people in the relationship that matter. Relationships should be purely personal: religion and government don't need to be involved.
• Financial Penalties. There are some financial disadvantages to being married. The "marriage penalty" is when married couples end up paying more in taxes than they would if they hadn't married. Divorce costs can also be huge if you make a mistake and marry the wrong person.
• Expensive Ceremony. Marriage ceremonies can be very expensive and extremely stressful. It is not uncommon for relatives to take over and for the couple's wishes to be sidelined.
• Getting Stuck. Marriage can extend the time that a couple stays in a bad or unhealthy relationship—for instance, where the pair is simply ill-suited or where there is physical or emotional abuse. Couples may be persuaded to stay together due to religious or cultural taboos against divorce.

50% of all marriages in the USA are estimated to end in divorce. Despite this, there are still plenty of people who choose to tie the knot, whether for romance, tradition, or religion.

What Are the Financial Pros and Cons of Marriage?

Earning Potental:

According to some estimates, married men earn as much as 40% more than their single peers, and the longer a man is married, more he benefits financially in terms of salary. Married women also see bumps in salary (unless they have children).

Saving Money:

It's easier to build wealth and accumulate assets as a married couple... assuming there are two incomes. A study at Ohio State University showed that married people's individual net worth was 77% greater than singles', so marriage seems to have a very positive impact on wealth creation and accumulation. Married couples can also expect a 16% bump in wealth for each year of marriage.

Legal Protections:

Legal marriage offers financial protection in case of divorce. After the divorce, the court might require one ex to pay support or alimony... but with no marriage certificate, the break up won't come with any financial support (which might be seen as a pro or a con, depending on whom you ask).

Income Taxes:

For some, marriage means lower taxes... but it depends on how much you make. For many, marriage can result in higher taxes.

Tax Breaks:

Spouses don't have to pay estate tax, but non-married couples do. That means if a married person dies, their partner will automatically inherit all their assets without paying the inheritance tax they'd have to pay if they hadn't married.

Health Insurance:

Sharing a health insurance plan usually saves money, and many companies still require marriage for shared coverage.

Retirement:

A surviving spouse can inherit Social Security benefits. Anyone who was widowed or divorced after ten years of marriage is entitled to their spouses' Social Security benefits.

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Emotional and Social Advantages and Disadvantages of Marriage

Happiness?

According to some studies, 40% of married people say that they are "very happy," a claim only about 25% of single people seem to make. Married people are also less likely than single people to say that they are unhappy. However, the causation is unclear, and we don't know for sure that the marriage is the cause of the happiness: It might also be that the people who marry are already more prone to expressing happiness. (Read Ten Reasons Not to Get a Divorce for more information.)

Less Risk of Being Lonely?

A 2018 Pew Research Center survey found that 28% of people who report feeling dissatisfaction with their family lives also report feel lonely all or most of the time. However, marriage does not prevent loneliness, and the number of unhappily married people is rising—a recent General Social Survey conducted by NORC saw the highest number of unhappily married couples since 1974.

Less Stress?

There is ample evidence that married people experience less emotional, physical, financial, and psychological stress than single people do. However, the effects of an unhappy marriage have not been adequately studied.

Better Physical Health?

As a result of feeling less stress, married people also tend to have lower levels of cortisol than single people and therefore have less risk of chronic disease and inflammation.

Better Mental Health?

Married people also report feeling less depressed. Compared to single, divorced, or widowed people, those that are married report feeling less depressed, anxious, and psychologically stretched. Getting divorced seems to have a negative effect on the mental health of both men and women who report increased levels of anger and hostility, lower self-esteem, and a diminished sense of personal mastery and purpose after divorce.

Longevity?

Research shows that married people live longer than those who are single: This is especially true for men.

Better Sex Lives?

Every marriage is different, but in general, not only are married people more likely to have a sex life and enjoy sex more frequently than single people, they are also more likely than singles to say they are sexually satisfied. Research shows that having satisfying sex more frequently has many health benefits. Not only do those who have sex at least two times a week report feeling younger, they also enjoy better heart, lung, and muscle health.

Having Children?

Many studies indicate that marriage makes having children much easier for parents and that the children of married parents enjoy greater emotional health.

The Ability to Focus?

Since married people tend to have more confidence in their relationship status, marriage allows them to specialize and take on the responsibilities that they're well suited for. Two partners can divide the daily tasks and specialize in what they do well, but single people must perform them all.

What Are the Legal Benefits of Marriage?

For many, legal benefits are a main reason for tying the knot.

Inheritance benefits:

A spouse can inherit the estate without paying taxes, but if the couple is not married, they will have to pay to transfer inheritance.

Legal decision-making benefits:

Married couples automatically earn next-of-kin rights for hospital visits and the ability to make medical decisions for their spouse.

Filing joint taxes:

Not every couple will benefit tax-wise by getting married. In fact, if they're both high earners, it might not be smart. However, many do get a qualify for tax credit and get deductions for filing jointly. It depends on how much money you each make.

Marital deduction:

If married, you can make any gifts or transfer an unlimited amount of assets to your spouse without paying a transfer tax.

Insurance benefits:

It's easier for married couples to share health insurance and get a loan or mortgage.

Death and inheritance benefits:

Inheritance is automatic for married couples, which allows a surviving spouse to waive inheritance taxes. Surviving spouses are entitled to their spouse's benefits like retirement (IRA), social security, disability, veteran, military, and pension plans.

What Are the Disadvantages of Marrying Young?

• low income due to lack of career development, training, education, or advancement,
• the inability to live alone as a couple due to lack of savings,
• people live a long time nowadays so you will be together for decades... but people can change a lot over a period of just ten years.
• it's a proven fact: those that delay marriage end up choosing their partners more wisely and have longer relationships as a result.
• research shows that people who marry before age 25 are twice as likely to divorce.

Research consistently shows that if parents get and stay married, their children live longer and healthier lives.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2011 Paul Goodman

Comments

Pat franklyn on September 05, 2020:

Marriage is sweet when you're to the person who understands you, if not it becomes your worst nightmare. I have a question is it proper or lawful for the man to throw the woman out of the house into the streets without sorting her out to get a place of her own or giving her time to do so

Lulu on May 05, 2020:

I’m not married, but i do think that marriage is a wonderful thing

Rohan Sen on January 12, 2020:

I stay always in my whole because it gives me freedom to do everything that I want

I hanging out with my every friends

I enjoy my life in my own way

So I love to stay single

I don't care what people think about marriage

But I hate marriage life

Mathews Khomo on January 09, 2020:

I'm interested on marriage issues as I'm currently writing a book on the same topic.

Azad Chaiwala on August 09, 2019:

Married life is one of the best blessings to have. And, if your partner is like minded than your life will heaven on earth. The best possible way to find such a partner is hard due to cheap dating sites, who has ruined this holy relationship. But wait! there's one website that have those profiles who are looking for serious relationships and long-term love. It is www.GoMarry.com. It is world's first Marriage only Matchmaking service.

Unfortunately on May 11, 2019:

Unfortunately feminism is everywhere nowadays making it much more difficult for many of us single men very seriously looking to meet a good woman to settle down with, and with the great majority of these very pathetic women that are real men haters as it is which tells the whole very true story right there.

Noura Hassan on March 15, 2019:

a marriage should be expensive what is your opinion

Trapped on March 06, 2019:

Be careful who you marry. I've been married 8 years and happy for the first 2. I now look after her Mother and brother whilst see lives alone 100 km away blaming me for every problem in the relationship. I moved to a town I didn't want to because she'll "find work easier" but instead she found work away. I feel to guilty to leave as her family is horrid with their money and I carry all expenses. To me marriage was a trap. One I am speaking with a councilor to get the guts to get out of.

Maremel on February 11, 2019:

Nice

David on November 16, 2018:

It's a living nightmare. I'd have been gone years ago but for the gut-wrenching pain of not seeing the kids every day.

AW on October 15, 2018:

The married life is the best way to go since you always have that special someone to share your life with.

Glen Rix from UK on October 15, 2018:

Maintaining a marriage/civil partnership demands commitment and hard work on the part of both parties. I believe that in Western society many people marry on the basis of romantic love, which does not last. A solid basis of shared values and interests is important to sustain a long-term relationship. In the past many couples stayed in unhappy marriages for economic reasons. Perhaps some still feel the need to do so. From a personal point of view, having divorced 30+ years ago, I can say that children are better off with one parent in a relaxed environment than with two parents in a marriage that is broken.

Mr ya on August 10, 2018:

As we are aware of marriage is a part of or a piace of islamic religion

So its beautfull and relax

Thank you all

Deborah on May 19, 2018:

All but one of those stated disadvantages of marriage were true disadvantages. Most of them simply paid lip-service to political correctness-- for example, the tendentious idea that all forms of relationships are equal. Study after study indicates that the nuclear family is the best start in life anyone can get, irrespective of other categories.

Marriage and family are the bedrock of society. The reason some of these "disadvantages" appear is because of the fickle nature that has been encouraged in popular culture. Dating too quickly. Fantasizing about the "perfect" relationship when none really exists. The encouragement of selfishness and self-righteousness instead of selflessness and true righteousness. These create the disadvantages that put other well-meaning people off marriage. But for those who understand the simplicity, hard-won, and heart-melting beauty of committing your life and destiny to another person, there are no true disadvantages.

Anonymous on May 13, 2018:

The problem is that young people aren't taught to recognize the red flags/warning signs (especially the subtle ones) of a deficient potential partner that would lead to problems later. Society needs some sort of qualification of persons getting married that they are free of personality disorders, destructive habits like drinking/drugs, criminal background and other negative traits; in other words that they are psychologically/emotionally suitable, etc. Maybe people should have a psychological exam/background check, etc. as a condition of a marriage license being issued in the event one party has not seen the warning signs in the other?

lily on May 09, 2018:

Human happiness and human satisfaction must ultimately come from within oneself. It is wrong to expect some final satisfaction to come from money, fame, another person, or an outside source.

Looking for happiness in the wrong direction then you can never find true happiness.

sid on May 04, 2018:

the advantage is that you can have sex for the first time

Saied on April 23, 2018:

I really enjoyed reading your text and also "Larry W Fish " who his comment makes me feel good.

Dr.Frankel said "When a person can't find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure"

Larry W Fish from Roxboro, NC on April 21, 2018:

Paul, a very interesting read. I am married and found that the real challenges was when we were younger, not financially well off, two children. We decided that the wife should not work until the children were older. That placed an extra burden on me. However, as the years passed, the kids grew up and gave us grandchildren. We have been married 47 years. I have had people ask me if I would do it over again. Without a second of thought I always said yes. I love my ;wife as much now as the day we were married. We have been through a lot, but we are always there for each other.

sheila alerta on April 04, 2018:

marriage is a precious day for both man and woman....

sili on March 15, 2018:

marriage is a very beautiful union of two souls

Elmo on February 09, 2018:

Marriage is 1. when two people are joined together in spirit by God. as the bible says. 2. A state-sponsored contract for doing business corporately as two individuals on a legal basis.

Which is more correct? I would prefer the first to the second. So I will not go buy a contract license again.

tt on November 09, 2017:

Marriage is like a CIRCLE.

The one stands from the outside like to jump in

The one stands from the inside want to jump out.

Marriage is like a Restroom.

The one from the outside wants to get in.

The one from the inside wants to get out.

Tom Gould on August 23, 2017:

I don't want to ever get married because I went to a wedding where I had an awful experience and it put me off the idea for life. I am not adverse to female company though and I feel that how any couple decides to conduct their relationship should be down to them not society. If I met a lady that I liked I would hope that she would have the same attitude because I would rather be in a relationship that did not require the level of commitment that marriage itself does.

The Real Honest Tuth on June 15, 2017:

Well when you're married with a family which you have so very much to be thankful for since it definitely has much more advantages. Especially if you're very committed to one another and very compatible as well as very caring and loving too. Communication is very extremely important as well which then you would have it made. You're never alone and especially if you have children as well since you can go on trips together and have a lot of fun. But for many of us men that are not married it is definitely a real disadvantage since there is no one to share our life with which can be very depressing since unfortunately many of us are always by ourselves all the time everywhere we go which is very horrible for us as well. And i am sure what i am about to say which i am sure that many other men will agree with me as well. Well first of all which it really does take two to tango today since many of us very good innocent men were never that very lucky at all to meet a real good woman that would've Accepted us for who we really are since we really don't make a great salary at all since so many women nowadays are making a great salary which certainly has a lot to do with it. Most women that have their Careers today are now so very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, narcissists, and so very money hungry as well. These women will only want the very best of all and of course they will never settle for less either which tells the whole very true story right there unfortunately. Acceptance is the key word here since so many women just Can't Accept us good men for who we really are since i had just mentioned this already. So many of us men that really wanted to get married and have a family which you can see how very difficult that it is for us now since i really will admit that being Single And Alone for us really sucks for us now too. It was just too very bad for many of us men that really do feel as bad as me that had we been born many years earlier when the real good old fashioned women were around when most of them were the very best of all which it definitely would've been very easy finding real true love in those days the way that it happened with our family members that were very extremely blessed since it was a much better time for finding love back then.

Nasia on June 09, 2017:

After hearing that I willnever get married

Matty Fernandez on June 08, 2017:

Marriage is hard work. Great hub!

JL on June 07, 2017:

The one where it says, "Marriage gives children two parents" makes me laugh. MARRIAGE does not provide two parents. Two parents can be present WITHOUT a marriage!

Nalia on March 30, 2017:

Thanks for having the advantages and desadvantages of marriage. Im about to get married on november this year. I think everything will go in the way we wish. Thanks

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on March 24, 2017:

everything in a marriage needs to be worked on continuously and sometimes culture holds certain aspects and doesn't allow time in a marriage.

Teddy F. on January 09, 2017:

Well I be danged.

Marriage is just a waste of time and money.

The disadvantages are all true. The advantages I can argue about a lot.

1. You can have a regular friend for that one.

2. Thais a disadvantage due to the fact you are forced. Priests don't get married so why should anyone else.

3. Just a fact or show off / ego , however you want to look at it.

4. Who wants to put another kid in this world the way it is going.

5. You can pay lower taxes with tax loopholes. It will be the same anyways because if u are married u got to pay more for crap for your wife.

6. We are coming out with robots for everything, Welcome to the 21st Century!

7. You can also adopt. And plus you won't wake up to crying in the middle of the night.

8. With the invention of Virtual Reality and Sex Toys, there are much better ways to have a sexual experience than dealing with the disadvantages of marriage.

Glad I saw this when I am 18 and single. Screw relationships and you should do the same!

PS: If you want intense feelings like sex without masturbation, just join the Army and go to the front line.

Kaay on December 17, 2016:

For a marriage one has to portray unselfish love at all times.

Marriage is a beautiful union and can be truly successfull is respect is demonstrated on all levels.

Ana on July 28, 2016:

Marriage is important, it can make your life stable at one thing. But before you deal with it, make sure that you are ready and everything does come from your heart.. your not playing around.

And when you get in, it means you already know the advantage and disadvantage of it. And you welcome all of those.

TheGod'sHonestTruth on July 23, 2016:

Well getting married certainly has it advantages if you were very Blessed to have met the Right Person to share your life with instead of being all Alone all the time with no one. And many of us men Weren't Blessed that way at all since we Never met the Right Woman. And the ones that are Married with their families have so very much to be Thankful for since their life is so very much Complete. The way i really look at it is that the times have certainly Changed today and so have the women Unfortunately since so many women today have their Careers making a very Great Salary which they Never made years ago which certainly has Changed them for the Worst since Most of them these days are so Very Greedy And Selfish and will Only want the Best and will Never settle for Less at all. So for many of us Good men out there that were really Hoping to find Love which you can see how very Difficult it is for us since it does Take Two To Tangle when many of us men are Not To Blame at all. This really makes it a very Disadvantage for us Unfortunately to be Single And Alone all the time which i had just mentioned this already when many of men Should've been all settled down by now with our own Good Wife And Family that we still Don't have today.

Prof Dr D P Singh on July 15, 2016:

Marriage is a bonding between two families to celebrate their achievements, happiness and sorrowfulness. Survival in old age is difficult without partner and family. Marriage has been a part of human culture for thousands of years.

Principle on June 17, 2016:

Thoughtful article.

While making any decision it is of utmost importance to make a list of pros and cons. This article does a great job in that regard for the decision to marry. However, as the author points out, we are strongly wired to seek companionship of another and there usually we do not make the decision to marry on a completely conscious state but just follow our heart. Therefore we usually understand the pros and cons of marriage after marrying.

Good luck to everyone. Marriage is very difficult for most of us, and probably an impossible mission for a lot of us.

mohd shabir on July 13, 2015:

In present age almost 80 percent boys and 90 girls are want to marry.they dont want to achieve something in their life or to give the response of the investment of thier parents which they are spending on them. The main purpose of boys getting married is to make sex and the some girls are also interested in such type of activities but mostly want to marry such a person who has a lot of money means they are interested in the wealth of others.. so I request everyone to avoid yourself from marriage till u get something in life and everyone try to do something unique in his life ..and than to marry ..which become a source of good and a happy life...

Simmi on July 01, 2015:

Marriage iz like living in hell..

kaayenaat on April 21, 2015:

5) *parents.

Kaayenaat on April 16, 2015:

Hii!

I just want the answers of my points below.If there's someone, please reply.

1) I am a girl.I always had a fear that after marriage, I have to change my sir name.But that's something I really don't want.I don't want to lose my individuality.

2)After marriage my life will become a bundle of new responsibilities.I will have to give my whole time to my family ( call me a servant, of my new family).Then what about my career? I know that my new family will never allow me to study anymore, as that will ruin my family,or say disturb my relationship.

3) Am I allowed to enjoy with mah friends, just like I was enjoying before marriage?

4)I have heard from normally 95 out of 100 couples ,that marriage is just a fun of some days or say weeks.And afterwards it becomes a curse, nothing else ,trust me!

5) My parents had served me from my childhood till this date ( I am 17 years old), so I think this is the time when I need to serve my family with my rocking achievements.So is this the time when I should leave my family to start a new life.Our parents are supposed to be a boon for us on this planet.So, may I ask--"Should I give first priority to my husband and his family instead of my paresex ?

6) And I also know it very well that even after giving first priority to my husband and his family, I will be on his second priority ( As he will give his priority to his parents in the name of--" Maa toh ek hai, beevi toh hazaron mil jayengi").So what I want to ask is that -"Am I having 100 parents"? ( Haha)

7) Is life more beautiful with friends+career+family (Real family) rather than a bundle of responsibilities+ new family?

8)Almost 99% persons marry just for the sake of sex, yes this is the reality friends admit it!

jj on April 09, 2015:

i don't want to be in this marriage where you get abused. Before marriage things looked so good, never knew his other side - abusive violent side. Calling me names, hitting me and also injuring me (had 4 stitches on my chin)

So nowadays marriage is more like business deal: men look for women with money or women look for men with money.

peachy from Home Sweet Home on February 04, 2015:

a marriage means forever, bind into one, unless you take marriage as a hotel, married today, divorce tomorrow. time to check out

jazee on March 24, 2014:

Marriage is a source of protection,warmth,happiness and arguments. It's easy to love but difficult to stay in love. That's life

Kathy, OH on November 30, 2013:

It appears that most of the disadvantages point to a person who is still self-centered (all about themselves). That person should not marry and ruin someone else's life. Having been married 37 years, I know that since we are not perfect, there are challenges. Too many folks fall in love with the IDEA of marriage, but have no intention of making any sacrifices themselves. But it can work - - and be wonderful!

Jatinder Joshi from Wasaga Beach, Ontario, Canada on October 08, 2013:

Interesting thoughts on marriage. Marriage as per me is a social institution created by mankind to ensure the physical, social, intellectual and emotional well being and development of the children from marriage. It is all about commitment. No marriage is picture perfect, all the time. One has to stay committed to the aim and promises right till the end to make it work, and if you do, love, understanding, compassion and a healthy family develop, is my take.

Annee on February 14, 2013:

It is the most solutary confinement ever

Suzie from Carson City on December 18, 2012:

Very interesting and well-written article . You give both sides equal time and fairness......UP+++

Doodlehead from Northern California on October 13, 2012:

It's way too complicated for my mind. Think I will keep things as they are!

Shawn Yeager from Wisconsin on July 18, 2012:

Great article! After being married for about 4 years it seems like at times our differences are greater than our similarities, but then again that's one of the reasons why I love her so much!

Bruce Clark on July 01, 2012:

I will just think of the advantages and good things about marriage. It is definitely a blessing since through it a family will be created.

appu on June 22, 2012:

interesting. ()

Mariner on April 24, 2012:

Marriage means.. when you have no more trouble in life.. then get married and ask for trouble

Anoop Aravind A from Nilambur, Kerala, India on April 19, 2012:

Interesting hub.you wrote about a beautiful relationship.

Levertis Steele from Southern Clime on March 16, 2012:

When society deviates from the norm, problems arise that may take generations to solve, and sometimes they remain unsolved. The respect and practice of marriage is an important key to a stable society. We can see the problems that are caused by

(1) single-parent homes absent of a parent who did not want to be there