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Adultery of the Soul

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Grounds for Divorce

Bart was fortunate that he lived in a state in which there was 'no fault' divorce. If he had to find specific grounds....

As a geek, he had a 'tracker' on the computer. Why he had implemented it had nothing to do with spying on his wife. But that is what it did.

One night, while his wife slept, he read through messages she had sent and received from another man.

These weren't porn, in fact, there was no sexual content. What there was, however, so disturbed him he contacted his lawyer the following day.

His wife and this unknown stranger, this man she had never met, were deep in such conversation, sharing so much of their souls, sharing in a way his wife had never shared with him.

He was reading his wife's deepest feelings and he felt as betrayed had he caught her in bed with his best friend.

He could, of course, never sue her for 'adultery' for the 'Other Man' lived a thousand miles away, and it was clear from the conversations they had never been closer than perhaps 979 miles.

Yet, his wife was closer to this man than to him.

Much More Than A Friend

Erica was old enough to be Sam's mother. Yet...

He could speak to her as he could to no other. Anything that happened, politically, environmentally, personally, he shared with her first. He was more interested in what Erica thought than in anyone else's opinion.

Erica's age would automatically make his wife, Grace, dismiss their 'relationship.' After all, what would her 37 year old hubby have to do with a 59 year old woman?

Grace, as most wives, more concerned about his talking to those above 18 and
under 30. She never noticed that at social functions Sam would be deep in conversation with Erica as if she was the most significant person in the room.

Grace never thought that If souls could leave their bodies and mingle in the ether, Sam and Erica would be the couple and she would be alone.

In Cyberspace

Selma was 70. Alone now, long divorced, children who were far away, grandchildren she saw once every other year, her 'life' was online.

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Selma joined one of those 'second life' type sites and created her persona, a twenty five year old named Magenta. The avatar used was a perfect young woman who was active and admirable. Magenta had gotten the attention of many men.

These online men spoke to her, as she to them, from the depths of her heart. She was closer to these unseen, unknown men than she had ever been to men in her life.

Over time she hooked with one man, Aries. They formed a bond. Time passed and somehow she was distracted by another man, Cosmo.

Slowly, Magenta became more interested in Cosmo, and they arranged times when Aries would be off line to engage.

Eventually Aries learned that Magenta and Cosmo were having an affair. Hurt, deep in pain at her betrayal he ended their relationship. Selma felt guilt and shame, and cried.

Sitting there, by her computer, she tried to understand how she could commit 'adultery' with Cosmo; how she could betray Aries, who had always been faithful to her.

Although it was fantasy, although she was not the 25 year old Magenta, she felt real pain and shame.

An outsider might slap it away unreal, but for Selma (Magenta) and Aries, it was real, it did happen. The pain exists.

Define Adultery

If two bodies do not touch, there is no adultery according to Law. This is because marriage has always been based on children. Being able to define the man who fathered the child is the purpose of marriage.

Adultery, meaning that the wife/husband is engaging in sex with someone else can put the blood line of the child into question.

Hence Adultery requires one party engage in sex with a 'third' party.

How one feels, emotionally, how one relates to another, as long as it is not sexual, is not adultery.

The fact Bart's wife has virtually given her soul to another man, the fact Erica and Sam are far closer than he is to his wife is not adultery.

There is no sex.

Yet these relationships run far deeper than sexual connections. They matter more and last longer because they are a connection deep within the soul of these people, not the body.

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