Moon is a professional psychologist for 3 years and she is writing about the problems of marital life for the purpose of creating awareness.
What is Marital Adjustment ?
The most important thing after marriage is to complete marital adjustment. Husbands and wives have to adapt to each other, to other family members, and to financial matters. And if this adjustment fails, then there are many problems in married life. So adjustment process is of special importance for living a smooth and beautiful married life. This is why couples need to focus on how to make their marriage a success.
Discuss the following five marital adjustment issues:
Adjustment Problems With Partner
The first important adaptation problem in marriage is adjustment with partner. Interpersonal relationships play an important role in marriage as they do in friendships or business relationships. However, interpersonal relationships in marriage are much more difficult to adapt to than social or business life, because they are complicated by some things that are usually not the same in another person's life. The more men and women experience interpersonal relationships early in their lives, the more social insights will develop between them and the desire to cooperate with others will enable them to better adapt to each other's married life.
That Prevents Adjustment to the Partner
Adjustment with a partner is about recognizing his or her way of life, rebuilding friendships and social work, and changing professional needs, especially for the wife. Which leads to emotional conflict in the case of adjustment.
Problems With Sexual Adjustment
An important adjustment problem in marriage is sexual adjustment. In the case of post-marital adaptation, it is indeed one of the most difficult adaptation processes. If it is not achieved well, unhappy attitude will be created in the marital life. Adult couples will find this adaptation problematic if they have no preconceived notions about it. Again those who cannot take this sexual adaptation lightly become anxious. Adjustment is more complicated in women and its completion is less satisfying than in men. The reason why women's sexual adjustment is complicated is that they are prevented from socializing from childhood and their sexuality is restrained, in this forbidden pleasure women cannot so easily change and respond to the interest of their husbands. Today, however, premarital sex is considered by many young people to be a part of intimacy. Adult sex has been described by adults as an experimental marriage. Through this, the obstacles in the way of sexual orientation can be easily solved. By doing this they can move towards a happy married life.
That Is Why It Prevents Sexual Adjustment
Depending on what kind of information a woman and a man have about sex in childhood and adolescence, their attitude towards sex will change. Once an unsatisfactory view of sex is formed it will be difficult to completely cure but it is not impossible.
In-Laws Have Adjustment Problems
The next problem that arises in the case of marriage adjustment is the adjustment problem in the in-laws. After marriage, every adult has to get acquainted with many new in-laws' relatives. These relatives range in age from children to the elderly. Those who may have different beliefs, interests and in some cases different types of education, culture and social background. Both the wife and the husband need to learn to adapt well to their in-laws so that a good relationship is maintained between the husband and wife and the in-laws. When the married couple is new and inexperienced, the in-laws' relatives establish control over them, which makes post-marital adaptation problematic.
An Important Factor That Prevents In-Laws From Adopting
Marital adjustment becomes more complicated when the spouse spends more time with other relatives than with his or her partner. When a partner is influenced by family advice or when a relative comes to visit for many days or stays permanently with the family.
Parenting Adjustment Problems
The main determinant in fulfilling the responsibilities of adulthood and attaining maturity is considered to be the parent of the child which is described in terms of parenting. Being a parent of a child brings unquestionable satisfaction. It is again called a critical time in life because it requires a lot of change in behavior, values and roles. As soon as the child arrives, his family becomes anxious, and even other members of the family become stressed to varying degrees. However, the arrival of a child in all families creates a somewhat critical situation.
In the case of the firstborn child, it is a little more worrying, because the parents are not ready enough to play the role of parents. The reason for this is that they have imaginary ideas about the role of parents. The arrival of the child disrupts the romantic and emotional relationship between the husband and wife, i.e. the relationship between the two is transformed into a relationship between the three. Husbands and wives become parents when society and family adapt to the afterlife, and this changes their way of life. When a trained and skilled professional mother falls into a crisis situation and realizes that she has to step down from her dignified position and fulfill the responsibilities of a child as a mother, she gets upset with herself. On the other hand, no man can change his role immediately after becoming a father. Many fathers show a kind of disillusionment after childbirth without responding to their wives' sexual behavior. When economic worries and pressures increase, such behavior of men puts his father's role and adaptation in married life in jeopardy.
Problems of Financial Adjustment
Another factor that creates problems in adaptation in later life is economic adjustment. The effects of the lack of money on adolescence after marriage are seen to be widespread. At present, the idea of husband's money before marriage and gaining experience through job position. If the wife sees that the husband has control over the money while running a family, it becomes a cause of their annoyance. Again, it is difficult for them to live on the low income of their husbands, because in this case they cannot spend as much money as they could before marriage. Some men also realize that economic adaptation is very difficult. Especially when their first child comes after marriage, the wife has to stop working to raise the child. This not only reduces their joint income but also puts the burden of managing the entire family on the husband's income which creates problems in post-marital adjustment.
Important Factors Affect Marital Adjustment
|Name of Marital Adjustment Problems||Effects|
Adjustment problems with partner
If you want to make good adjustments, your partner must meet the needs of his or her initial experience. For example: Adult recognition, the idea of achievement, and the social status of being happy must help the other partner to get these.
Problems with sexual adjustment
There will be less contrast and emotional conflict if they both have the same idea rather than disagree on contraceptive use.
In-laws have adjustment problems
Nowadays, caring for elderly relatives has become a complex factor in marital adjustment. This is because of the fact that there is an unsatisfactory attitude towards older people and there is a belief that young people want independence from their relatives especially when they have children in their family.
Parenting adjustment problems
Adults are better able to adapt to parental roles if they want to have children. Because they feel they need to have a child for a happy marriage, not because of social or family pressures.
Problems of financial adjustment
Husband’s participation in family work may be the wife’s expectation. Especially when the husband fails to provide luxury benefits due to economic conditions. In this case, the wife wants the husband to help her with the family work, but if the husband does not do so, then the wife will always have a dispute with the husband.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2021 Moon
Maimona from Chittagong on July 18, 2021:
Thanks for this article..