Nyamweya is a Kenyan scholar who has done many years of research on a diversity of topics
All marriages- including the best of marriages- must have conflicts and marital issues. This happens to be a normal part for two people working a life out together. Nonetheless there are both bad and good ways for working out differences in a marriage. This however depends on whether the couples in question have proper knowledge about marriage and relationships. This brings in the most debated argument which says that educated women are able to handle marital issues much better than their uneducated counterparts. This paper attempts to analyze this argument and come up with the best solution
Research and studies have shown that educated couples are indeed able to solve their marital issues better than uneducated ones. This is due to the fact that with the education they receive, they are able to understand that people are different and they learn to live with the things they can’t change about their partners. Even though they may wish their partners were different in countless different ways, they also understand that some of those many things can’t simply change. They therefore learn to accept that and as a result they can bring some qualities into their partnerships that their partners do not have, and at the same time, their partners can bring qualities that they do not have.
It is argued that educated couples know exactly when to start a discussion. They understand that they should start a discussion at the time they want to make their relationships strong, and this should also be done at the right time. They cannot start a discussion at the time when they are feeling tired or angry and they want to punish or correct their partners. Equally if their partners are frustrated or tired, they will save the discussion for another time or day. Several partners who do not know this will start their discussions when they are tired and want to sleep. Such discussions do not lead to anything being solved or agreed upon.
Educated couples are believed not to dwell on complaints in a relationship. They understand that whenever they have things they would like to talk about, they list them down and talk about them in the best way possible. They make requests other than big complaints. This prevents them from arguing about the same thing one year after the other. With this approach to solving problems, they make much progress and may get much more entrenched.
Much as there are more people that support the notion which says educated couples will solve issues in marriage better, other groups of people tend to believe the exact opposite. These groups argue that education is not the determinant of wisdom in a marriage. They state that wisdom and knowledge of how to make and keep a good marriage depends on how one was brought up by their various parents. They also think that the skills one gets in schools are not for their marriages but rather for careers and as such cannot apply in their marriages.
Much as there are enough reasons for each argument, I do tend to concur with the first argument. This is due to the fact that even though education does not provide specific knowledge about marriage or handling issues at home, it does impart people’s minds with enough wisdom to apply to every aspect of life whether it is in their work place or at home. Wisdom is not specific to one thing and can therefore be of help in any situation.
To the larger extend, I believe that with good knowledge, handling a marriage issue is easier than when one has little or no knowledge meaning their brains and minds are not used to thinking or acting wisely.
Silas Nyamweya (author) from Nairobi, Kenya on June 29, 2015:
ok thansks for the comment
Suhail Zubaid aka Clark Kent from Mississauga, ON on June 29, 2015:
Interesting piece of research!
I found this hub useful and interesting.
dashingscorpio from Chicago on June 29, 2015:
I seriously doubt that one 's education trumps how they (feel) about their mate or if someone has committed a "deal breaker" in the eyes of another.
I personally know of two people with PhDs whose marriage lasted less than 5 years. Ironically the husband's PhD is in clinical psychology! Even the world famous Dr. Phil has been married twice!
Maybe the more educated one is and the better they know (them self) the sooner they recognize when something is not going to work!
Being married to the "wrong person" is the #1 cause of divorce in my opinion followed by getting married for the "wrong reasons".
If you love someone who has a Masters degree and you discover they cheated on you whether or not you have a degree if it's a "deal breaker" for you then you will want out!
Lastly the goal is to marry someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the marriage that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least there is a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
Once you discover that is NOT the case it makes very little sense to stay together unless you enjoy making each other miserable.
Communication is the GPS for relationships. It lets a couple know whether they are "growing together" or "growing apart".
It doesn't invoke feelings of love and desire if there are none.
Once there is an "emotional disconnection" it's pretty much over.