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A Woman Married Her Dog

I'm an aspiring writer, but overall, I am an American who seeks a better United States of America. Come join me in my journey of truth.

"dmvl" is the author of this photograph.

"dmvl" is the author of this photograph.

1. Introduction

If you think that the idea of people having imaginary girlfriends and boyfriends was weird enough, this true story I am about to tell you herein will have you wondering what is going on with bachelorettes throughout the world. It's time to pull out a container of flea powder, because a 49-year-old woman has married her dog. That's right. After I first read about it, it appeared to be a joke or a hoax; but it is quite real.

Back when I was 12 or 13 years old, I recall seeing a movie on television whose plot centered around a group of couples of different ages who each confronted their own problems in their respective relationships. One situation within the storyline that stood out the most involved this one couple in their seventies whose marriage was suffering inasmuch as the husband was spending most of his time with his dog instead of his wife. In one scene of the movie, the wife became furious, because the husband wanted her to watch their dog sit pretty. I vaguely recall that the dog was some kind of poodle.

Eventually in the movie, the dog somehow got away from its owners and flew out into the street where a car hit it and killed it. The husband then suffered an emotional meltdown, and a friend of his consoled him while he was crying hysterically over the death of his dog. His wife, on the other hand, was glad that the dog was dead inasmuch as she felt that it had been putting a wedge between her and her husband in their marriage. At one point in the movie, she referred to the dog as "the corpse" upon realizing that she and her husband had to provide the dog with at least some kind of burial. The movie was both serious and humorous at the same time.

Now, I see nothing wrong with pet owners viewing their own dogs as members of their family. I can fully understand why some pet owners even treat their dogs as if they were their own children. However, never in my life have I stumbled across a story so bizarre as the one you are about to hear about in the video below. Below is that same video wherein YouTuber Joker provides the full details of this true story about a woman who married her dog.

YouTuber Joker Describes The True Story About A Woman's Marriage To Her Dog

In most English-speaking cultures, tradition holds that the bride's family is supposed to pay for the wedding and any related ceremonies. In this particular situation, the bride's family definitely had to pick up the tab for this event. Let's pray that the Catholic priest who performed this marriage ceremony wasn't allergic to dogs, because then there would have been a considerable amount of sneezing and coughing at the altar.

It bewilders me how a canine groom would verbalize his wedding vows, unless he barked them out one by one. What kind of wedding present did each wedding guest buy the groom? A can of Alpo? Did the groom receive a bachelor's party prior to the wedding; and if he did, what came crawling out of the traditional big cake they usually have at these kinds of festivities? A female collie? Was his best man a Saint Bernard? The bride likely footed the bill for the honeymoon, if there was one. Does it get any more ridiculous than it is?

One thing is for certain. The above-described 49-year-old model will not be having any children with the groom. I hope that she is not into bestiality, because then she really needs some serious professional help in that event. It doesn't get any less creepier than it is.

2. A Woman's Journey Into Utter Madness

Some of you may believe that this article here of mine is strictly for laughs, but the idea of someone marrying an animal is very concerning. When I had first learned that Leona Helmsley had left her entire estate to her dog in her will so many years ago, I had thought that I had heard it all. Ms. Helmsley had struck me as someone whose conduct proved her to be a deranged dog owner, but the above-described 49-year-old model's marriage to her dog really takes the cake.

At one time or another you may have encountered a rude person living in your neighborhood who likes to leave their dog outside for it to bark all night long and drive you and all the other neighbors crazy. If you have ever been in that situation, you may have even confronted that dog owner and begged them to take their dog inside after the sun went down so that you could get a good night's sleep. Then he or she had, in turn, gotten defensive about their animal insofar as they became belligerent with you. It's like when my mother used to say that you never know how someone is going to act about their dog. Well, the above-described 49-year-old model is no different from one of these dog owners. In fact, she is as mentally unhinged as they are.

Throughout my lifetime, I have owned two dogs. One was a mixed breed with mostly pug in it. The other one was a mixture of Chihuahua, Pekinese, and poodle. I considered both of them to be family to me, and, yes, I loved them both as though they were my own babies. However, I always recognized the fact that they were animals rather than human beings. Like many of you out there, I have been a dog owner and I know how attached you can become to your pet.

Anyhow, there is a group of people on YouTube who warn their viewers that we are now living in an era of what they describe to be "dog nuttery." One particular YouTuber warns his viewers about people who are compulsively obsessed with their dogs. Below is his video on the topic.

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The Brutally Honest Truth About Compulsive Dog Lovers Is Exposed

In his video herein, YouTuber Joker pointed out that the above-described 49-year-old model had been on 220 dates and that two wedding engagements of hers eventually led to break-up, and he believed that she may have been the cause of her own problems in such relationships and wedding engagements. My response to his statement is that this woman probably paid more attention to her dog than she did to her boyfriends and fiancés when she was involved in romances, two of which could have led to marriage. Therefore, they bailed on her. She is her own worst enemy in that respect.

In the video above warning people not to date compulsive dog lovers, the YouTuber narrating it highlights the fact that such people will expect you to treat their dog with the same fondness and affection that they do, if you want to be in a serious romantic relationship with them. Such behavior on their part should be taken as a red flag to send them on their own merry way and to move on with your life. These compulsive dog lovers are prospectively certifiable.

I admit that the narrator in the video above was somewhat harsh in some of the statements he made about dog owners. Having been a dog owner myself, I realize that it's not fair to paint all of us with a broad paintbrush. However, he does provide a number of startling facts regarding how out of control some of these compulsive dog lovers become insofar as they engage in sexually deviant behavior with their animals.

Being a responsible dog owner entails observing certain boundaries that must never be crossed with your pets. The above-described 49-year-old model crossed a major boundary with her dog from whence there is no return. The two men who were once engaged to her are probably now happy that they didn't marry her.

Once the 49-year-old model's dog passes away in less than a decade from now, her mental health is only going to go from bad to worse. She will become like the person in the song below.

The Song Titled "They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!" By Napoleon XIV

Hilariously, you don't realize until the end of the above song that it's about a dog owner losing his mind because his dog ran away from home for the umpteenth time. Don't get me started on how the above-described 49-year-old model is going to handle her status as a widow or whether she will qualify for any benefits connected with it once her canine husband passes away. As you probably noticed, YouTuber Joker got a big kick out of this story. In my humble opinion, it's both sad and funny.

8358902 is the author of this photograph.

8358902 is the author of this photograph.

3. Final Thoughts

We now live in a wacko world. It is clear that the above-described 49-year-old model's love life had eventually ended up in the dog house. Pardon the expression. However, marrying her pet was not the solution to her problems. Everyone knows that it's hard to find true love, but searching for it in the animal kingdom is not the answer.

A dog is a man's best friend. However, a dog is not marriage material for a lonely woman who fears growing old all by herself. I agree with YouTuber Joker that this woman is not fully in control of all her mental faculties. I'm well aware that desperate people sometimes end up doing desperate things. However, a woman's decision to tie the knot with a canine specie is beyond my comprehension. I also have concerns over the legality of this process or rather the lack thereof.

Once you hear a groom going "Bow Wow" at the altar instead of saying "I do," it is safe to deduce that probably the bride may need to be evaluated by a mental-health professional. I am surprised that not even one of the 20 people who attended the above-described 49-year-old model's wedding didn't call in the men in white to haul her away in a straightjacket to a mental hospital. I'd be interested in knowing how her parents and her siblings feel about it, unless they're equally as disturbed as she is.

I have to question whether during the wedding itself, the priest asked, "if anyone knows any reason why these two should not be united in matrimony, let him speak now or forever hold his peace." Then again, nothing about this wedding was remotely of sound mind. Moreover, the 20 people who attended it probably would not have said anything in response to the priest. Nobody in their right mind could have partaken in this event except perhaps the dog himself, and he didn't know any better. I'm surprised that the priest has not been defrocked.

A Poll For People Who Are Concerned With Mental Health

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2022 Jason B Truth

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