Ms Macon is the Bitchface in Ask A Bitchface and often provides advice on dating, relationships, divorce, and Southern Belle-isms.
Toxic? Yes, I dated him. Why?
I'm familiar with the behavior of toxic men. Nothing is ever their fault, they find a way to blame their behavior on everything except for where the blame actually belongs: directly on their lying, cheating shoulders.
It's the introduction to their terrible plotline. They wrong you, you find out, they blame anything but themselves, and then they guilt you or bully you into forgiving them. They are all around nasty, vicious, self-centered individuals who essentially lie so often that they themselves start to believe their own lies.
It's not attractive. It's disgusting, actually.
Just because it says I was meeting up with them doesn't mean I did. It's the internet.
Meet Grindr, My Ex Who Slept With Men Behind My Back
I've been cheated on by a lot of men; that happens when you date fuckboys. They cheat. A lot. It's simply a symptom of who they are by nature.
But Grindr. Oh, that dude was a new kind of low.
Look, if you're a man and you sleep with men, that's your business. But if you sleep with me and you sleep with anyone else, that's my business. Man or woman, you're cheating. And by sleeping with men, you've just thrown me into an STD category that is frightening. And that pisses me off.
Oh, but Grindr had a million lies and a million messages with a million guys.
At first he denied everything. Then he realized I had screenshots. So he blamed me for being the reason he had to "fake" messages with these men to get me to see I was a terrible person causing him to "want" to cheat, then the messages were real, but he never met up with them, although they clearly reflect that he did.
I realized that no matter what proof I had to the contrary, it would never be his fault. He would never admit to wronging me. He didn't have to, because in his warped, toxic mind, he had done nothing wrong. I was wrong for asking him to treat me with respect and honesty. How dare I expect such a thing? What a demanding cow I am!
What You Need To Know Is, I'm An Author, And I Can Name Names
I Could (And Should) Send All The Evidence To Everyone You Know
In my younger years, I probably would have aired him out the same way he was airing his ass out for tex3208 on Grindr, but it's much more embarrassing to me to have the situation come to light than it is for him. Clearly, he doesn't care about looking like or being a terrible person. It is simply a part of who he is at this point.
But, for me, the shame of the situation is still on me. It makes me feel like people look at me like somehow I'm gross, I'm tainted. I've been playing sloppy second to gay sex, sans shower, and I am the one at fault.
And that is what the toxic do. They take their wrongs, and they somehow manage to make it look and feel as though it was your fault. You're the problem. You're the liar, the cheater, the candlestick maker.
Let Me Get My Sprinting Stilettos On, It's That Time, Folks
I Stopped Wasting My Time With Toxic Shitbags
And that is truly what you're doing. You're wasting valuable time that could be spent with someone amazing, and worthy of you, someone that could love and value you for the person that you are.
Get that toxic shitbag out of your life. You deserve someone who doesn't treat people like they're just props to be thrown away after they have served their purposes. Genuine, good people just don't act this way. But, the toxic, for whatever reason, think that it is their right, nay, responsibility to use everyone up, and then simply throw them away.
Do whatever is necessary to get that toxic individual out of your life as quickly as possible. Take it from me. They don't ever change. The only change that will happen is that it will get worse. They get more abusive. They don't ever stop being bad people. No matter how much you allow them to walk on you and ruin your life, they will never care about you as a person. They just don't have that capacity.
Have You Been Cheated On By A Person Who Was Bisexual?
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 MsMacon
Anya Ali from Rabwah, Pakistan on April 14, 2020:
People don't change - well said!