Friendships are precious. We forge countless friendships as we go on with our lives. We come to expect a lot out of them and of our friends. Good friends, however, are hard to come by. We are often disappointed at a friend having let us down. While it takes a lot to build up friendships, it takes a matter of seconds to destroy them. The disappointment is greater often times because we have not recognized a friend as being a good friend. There are friends and there are good friends. Good friends can be differentiated from the rest by certain characteristics, which may seem obvious, but are rarely reflected upon by most people. If you really want to know if a friend is a good friend, then evaluate them on the following parameters.
Who is a Good Friend - Qualities to Look For in a Good Friend
These are the qualities that differentiate an ordinary friend from a true friend!!
Trust: A good friend is someone you can trust totally with your deepest and darkest secrets, knowing full well that they would not share it with anyone else. A good friend will not break your trust and gossip behind your back.
Loyalty: A good friend is absolutely loyal to you through thick and thin. A good friend doesn't betray you when the going gets tough. A backstabbing friend is no friend.
Honesty: A good friend is someone who is not a "YES person." They will not be afraid to criticize you or point out your flaws. A good friend will not think about pleasing you at all times by saying YES, when in fact the situation warrants that they say things which may be unpleasant, but true.
Accepting: A good friend accepts you for what you are, no matter what the world thinks of you. A good friend does not try to change you, except for suggesting things you can improve upon and pointing out where you are going wrong, constructively.
Supportive: A good friend always supports you, especially when you need their support. A good friend enjoys your successes as if it were their own. A good friend isn't jealous or envious of your successes.
Helpful: A good friend is someone who takes the time to help you out with things you need helping out with, without looking at it as a chore or avoidable hassle.
Understanding: A good friend is one who understands you and knows when something is troubling you. When others can't see anything wrong with your body language, a good friend knows something is up, seeks to find out the source of the trouble and helps come up with solutions to the problems you are having.
Nonjudgmental: A good friend is nonjudgmental and doesn't rush into making superficial, instantaneous and often hurtful judgments about your actions without understanding or seeking to understand the reasons behind them. Rather, a good friend takes time to look at a particular action of yours and how you've handled it from your point of view and offers constructive opinions / suggestions of how you could have handled it differently, if it could have been handled differently and in a better manner.
Stays in Touch: A good friend isn't oblivious of you or your existence and calls or contacts you occasionally, if not often, to know how you are doing. A good friend is concerned about you and your well being even when they are away from you and would be bothered about you if they haven't heard from you in a while.
Doesn't Use You: A good friend would never use you to further their own interests. Whether it be money or something else, a good friend would not be bothered about it all - just you! A friend is not a good friend if they just hang around with you for what you have to give them, rather than be with you for you!
Not Embarrassed To Be With You: A good friend would never be embarrassed to be with you, rather proud of you! He/she wouldn't bother about what others have to say about them being friends with you. He/she would stay with you through thick and thin no matter what people around say. They wouldn't be bothered about how you look or what you do. They would just treasure you for who you are - the person you are.
Sacrifice: A good friend makes sacrifices for you and isn't selfish and self-centered. You matter equally to them - their world doesn't just revolve around themselves.
Money: A good friend doesn't let money get in the way of your friendship. They don't hang around with you for your money or the perks that come with it. A good friend stays with you and supports you irrespective of whether you are rich or poor.
Share Interests: A good friend may not always share all of your interests, but should at least share a few of them.
Listener: A good friend is a good listener, who is there to listen to you whenever you need to share your thoughts.
Respectful: A good friend would not put you down in front of others. They would respect you and would treat you just the way you would treat them - with respect.
Friends are hard to find and good friends, harder still. If you have a truly good friend, you are one of the lucky few because good friends aren't that easy to find these days, so count your blessings and keep your good friend! They are truly invaluable and irreplaceable. While it may take years to develop a strong friendship and have a true friend, it only takes seconds to break that friendship. So, treasure your friendship and your friend and don't take it for granted. Especially, don't let your friendship break over petty, small reasons. A good friendship, like a plant, needs constant nurturing and tending to. So, do not neglect your friend or friendship or take it for granted. Keep working at it and you'd be a much happier person for having a friend that you can really depend on and turn to when you really need him/her.
Quotes on Friends and Friendship!!
Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.
It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.
True wealth can not be found in your bank account. It can only be found in those you call friend. Those with whom you share your deepest feelings. And those who accept you for who you really are.
A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else.
Your friend is that man who knows all about you, and still likes you.
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself-and especially to feel, or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at any moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is.
A true friend stabs you in the front.
Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success.
A friend is one who walks in when others walk out.
A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.
~ Arthur Brisbane
A true friend unbosoms freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably.
~ William Penn
© 2011 Shil1978
MariaExcala from Germany on August 15, 2017:
nice! great article!
sparock on December 11, 2015:
Good friend never tells ur secrets to anyone and a true friend never hesitate to stab u in I
khan on November 28, 2014:
I also have a good friend -Tarun
Emily Lantry from Tennessee on October 02, 2014:
Good description of the qualities a good friend has. I think you hit all the really important character traits. Thanks for sharing! :)
Tarik Aarbaoui from Morocco on November 20, 2012:
That's really a good informative hub, which I deeply like :) Finding lots of friends is something great but it doesn't happen always :(
This hub is shared :) by all my social networks
Priscilla from El Paso on November 19, 2012:
This hub was great for me to read. I have had friends in my life that have come and gone, now with what I have read, I realize those that have stood behind were really my true friends. I really enjoyed reading your hub. Voted up!
lovetoall on November 05, 2012:
Great information. Learnt alot from your hub and made me realize my mistakes.
lupine from Southern California (USA) on October 16, 2012:
shil1978, very meaningful hub...helps to know who our true friends are. Have shared some of the quotes too.
Diana on October 16, 2012:
amazing ! this is really great.
Dr.Isaac on October 10, 2012:
Jenny Paul on September 08, 2012:
Awesome hub..... i really enjoyed it.
VibrantViews on September 07, 2012:
Excellent hub! Nice information on Friendship... Voted this one up. :)
lupine from Southern California (USA) on September 07, 2012:
Rusti Mccollum - Sorry to hear that your friend made you feel so bad... maybe she was having a bad day. Sometimes people say things, then realize later they shouldn't have. Remember there are friendships at different levels. Yes, true friends do exist, but are very rare. Good Luck!
Sam Graham from Australia on September 07, 2012:
Great Hub. I love my friends dearly and unconditionally. I hope that I am non-judgemental and a good friend to them too.
My good friends live over the other side of the world now and I miss them dearly. I treasure their friendships as they feel comfortable and loving. Meeting new friends is good too as I it takes me out of my comfort zone, makes me patient and helps me to recognise the great qualities people have - well most of them.
Thanks for this.
MomsTreasureChest on September 07, 2012:
Terrific hub on finding and being a good friend!
lupine from Southern California (USA) on September 07, 2012:
One of the best hubs read, you are very insightful in what a true friend should be. We should all follow these rules ourselves so that we may be that true friend...therefore attracting this type of friendship.
Ruth McCollum from Lake Oswego, Oregon on September 07, 2012:
I have never had a good friend like that. My most recent one yelled at me for something thats completely out of my control. She twisted things I said and got mad at me so much I felt worthless, tell me do friends like that really exist?
CrisSp from Sky Is The Limit Adventure on September 07, 2012:
Many has already been written and said about friendship and good friends and finding them, but this hub unlike the rest shows how friends should be in order to be in a friendship relationship. Great work, very straight forward and in full throttle with the truth.
Up and sharing.
J.Martinez on September 07, 2012:
Beautiful hub on friendship.
Shil1978 (author) on September 06, 2012:
Thank you, ocbill, jimmar, lrc7815, bhargvi and Arjan for stopping by and commenting. Glad you all liked this hub...!
ArjanK from London, United Kingdom on September 06, 2012:
The point you made about money is bang on! Not recognised enough!
Bhargvi Sharma from jammu ( India) on September 06, 2012:
Awesome... Loved it... :)))
Linda Crist from Central Virginia on September 06, 2012:
What a great hub! Beautifully written and loaded with absolute truth!
jimmar from Michigan on September 06, 2012:
Nice! I like the quote that goes something like "a good friend always finds time in their calendar for you, a cherished friend does not even consult their calendar". Not sure who said it.
ocbill from hopefully somewhere peaceful and nice on September 06, 2012:
Great Hub!. I have some good friends but not necessarily ones I can depend on at the last moment. An example of that was a few months ago.
Maria Janta-Cooper from UK on September 05, 2012:
Thanks Shil1978 for your, very helpful, hub. It is helpful for me because my friend and husband often wanted from me a definition from 'Friendship'. I wasn't able to answer it exactly. Now I'm able to do it! Thanks again :-).
Ebonny from UK on September 05, 2012:
Well said. Made me smile.
Especially liked the bit about trust.
iguidenetwork from Austin, TX on September 05, 2012:
I have very few friends, I treasure and trust them the most. :)
Enjoyable hub. Voted this one up. :)
stuueyy from California on September 05, 2012:
Great read. The poster/quote is also very true, I can recall times when I've been with a friend alone and ran out of things to talk about and there was no element of uncomfortableness as we would sit in silence, equally with others it can be excruciatingly painful for even a small pause of no conversation. It's in those moments it becomes easily apparent who your true friends are.
Shil1978 (author) on September 04, 2012:
ESA, glad that you enjoyed reading this! Thanks for stopping by and commenting!!
Shell Vera from Connecticut, USA on September 04, 2012:
I really enjoyed reading this. It is well put together.
Navjit Kaur Saini on August 02, 2012:
THOMAS SABO on July 31, 2012:
I simply want to tell you that I am very new to blogging and site-building and really enjoyed you’re blog site. Very likely I’m likely to bookmark your site . You certainly come with great writings. Many thanks for revealing your website page.
Shil1978 (author) on July 06, 2012:
Thank you, 'LostInRevery,' for stopping by and commenting. Glad you enjoyed this hub :)
LostInRevery from Maine on July 06, 2012:
I really enjoyed reading your hub!
Crystna1985 on June 01, 2012:
Great Hub! voted useful and beautiful. Thanks for posting:)
Anoop Aravind A from Nilambur, Kerala, India on May 31, 2012:
Good hub. I like it.
ClarkParker from California, USA on May 26, 2012:
Great hub! I like this quote by Elbert Hubbard "Your friend is that man who knows all about you, and still likes you." Thanks for the share!
Rastamermaid from Universe on May 05, 2012:
Thank You Shil1978!
Great views on friends and I agree totally.
But if you find yourself fulfilling these requirements and the so called friend is not. Believe me it will come to an head and all will be revealed.
Be true to you!
Shil1978 (author) on April 20, 2012:
Thank you, Deshala and Internetwriter, for stopping by and commenting. Glad you both liked this hub! Thanks for the appreciation :)
Internetwriter62 from Marco Island, Florida on April 19, 2012:
Thanks for the advice. I love it! Voted it up!
Deshala7 from Maryland on April 19, 2012:
I really liked this hub, I recently did my own on this subject..I sometimes wonder if my expectations of friendship is too much, and after reading your blog it's good to see someone else has the same opinions on what being a good friend means! Thanks Shil
jad_0013 on February 01, 2012:
Thank you very much! It really helped me!
Shil1978 (author) on January 29, 2012:
Thank you, Dancilla & 'perfectperception,' for stopping by and commenting. Glad you both liked this hub!!
Priscilla from El Paso on January 28, 2012:
I really enjoyed reading this. Great hub!
perfectperception from USA on January 24, 2012:
A true friend is a treasure. With them you have no worries. They would not lie on you, for you, about your or to you. They always have your back whether you disagree on a situation or not. True is true and it is definitely hard to find! Voted up!
Shil1978 (author) on January 16, 2012:
Thank you, Suzette, for stopping by this hub and for your generous appreciation. Am glad you liked this hub!! Thanks for the vote up :)
Suzette Walker from Taos, NM on January 16, 2012:
Wonderful hub! You understand completely what friendship and a true friend is. True friends are few and far between. Thank you for an insightful article! Voted up!
Shil1978 (author) on January 16, 2012:
Thank you, 'missolive' for stopping by and commenting. Glad you found this hub worthy enough to bookmark and share! Thanks for your wishes - I wish you the same many times over :)
Marisa Hammond Olivares from Texas on January 16, 2012:
I'm bookmarking and sharing this. Beautiful words to live by.
Wishing for you many wonderful and steadfast friendships.
Shil1978 (author) on January 10, 2012:
You are welcome, Mira - glad you found this hub informative! Good to know you have a best friend who has these characteristics - you are lucky to have someone like her :)
Mira on January 10, 2012:
Thank you for this very informative Hub. I have a bestfriend who meets all of these, she used to be a liar sometimes and we've been through a couple of fights and arguments but we always get through it quickly because we believe each other even when others don't. I love her like a sister and would do anything for her. Like i said this is a very informative Hub. Keep writing:)
Shil1978 (author) on December 27, 2011:
Thanks, Kelley, for stopping by and commenting. Glad you enjoyed this hub. Would check out your hub - sounds interesting!!
kelleyward on December 27, 2011:
I really enjoyed reading your hub on friendship. It is practically the opposite of the hub I wrote this morning on unsafe people. Thanks again
sunflower_nq on December 25, 2011:
thanks so much ! i realy lke this page , its is very useful and iteresting page ! XXX
Shil1978 (author) on December 10, 2011:
Lanealanea, thank you for stopping by and commenting! Am glad you liked this page! You are welcome, it was a pleasure writing this hub :)
lanealanea from Orange County, California on December 09, 2011:
I like your friendship guidelines written here, I wish that I had them a long time ago to apply as food for thought. However; finally, after finding my husband many years ago and getting to experience what a good friend is, looking at your hub confirms it all. Thank you and useful to so many young ones out there, share it with them! :-)Cheers
ronhit on December 06, 2011:
now !!!! i am aware of bad friends and good friends !!!!!!!!!
Ben-Liaram on November 20, 2011:
Thanks for the information which is very educative, I have learn a lesson.
Shil1978 (author) on November 09, 2011:
Jpanaro982, thank you for stopping by and sharing your views on this subject. Just to clarify, if you read again, you'd notice that I did not advocate that a true friend SHOULD criticize just for the sake of it, but rather that they should NOT BE AFRAID to criticize (when required) to give you an honest view that friends who are "yes men/women" won't be able to provide.
Jennifer Panaro from Eastchester on November 09, 2011:
I agree with most of it and I believe that honesty is important in a friendship. I however disagree that a true friend should criticize their friends or point out their flaws. They should be honest if their friend is wearing something that doesen't look right. Friends should accept their friends for who they are and not criticize them or list their faults. After all we are all human and no one is perfect.
Shil1978 (author) on November 03, 2011:
Thank you, Caroline, for stopping by and commenting. You are welcome - it was a pleasure writing this hub :)
Caroline Marie on November 03, 2011:
I love this. :) I had to let go of a lot of my friends in my lifetime because they didn't match up to these standards. Thanks for letting us know what it means to be a great friend.
sbrina2write from United States on November 02, 2011:
Excellent hub page on friendship and what is a true friend, illustrated perfectly.
naturalsolutions on September 14, 2011:
Do we really have a qualities to have a good friend? On my own i don't choose my friends, when we have the same thoughts or they good to me i'll consider them as a treasure, that what we called friend. Wll i really like your fantastic insights. Trust, loyalty etc is really important to a friendship. It will make your bonding more deeper ;)
Shil1978 (author) on July 03, 2011:
Am glad you understand, as only a true friend can! I appreciate greatly your friendship and your blessings and wishes. Thank you dear friend :)
I wish you the very best in all that you do!!
Warmest Regards and Best Wishes
Mystique1957 from Caracas-Venezuela on July 03, 2011:
My dearest one...
I feel you! As your true friend that I consider myself to be, I agree with you and understand your reasons! Glad we can communicate...
Be ever blessed, my dearest sister,
Warmest hugs and infinite heavenly blessings,
Shil1978 (author) on June 28, 2011:
It is a pleasure having you come by and to read your meaningful comments. I've always enjoyed reading them. Glad my hubs have that kind of impact on you - the feeling is mutual!
Friendship is indeed a true blessing that should be cared for and preserved and nurtured constantly. I am glad we share this friendship here in the cyberspace through HubPages.
I did read your mail and know you feel the way you do with the deepest of sincerity and desire to be a true friend, but let's be friends here, Al. I am sure you'd understand being the good friend that you are...
Warmest Regards and Best Wishes,
Mystique1957 from Caracas-Venezuela on June 28, 2011:
My dearest one...
Friendship is indeed a true blessing. Going over your hub has made me remember how wondrous having a real friend can be. Your hubs always leave me with a sweet taste and much to put into practice. Rated up and beautiful!
Thanks for sharing meaningful pieces!
Warmest hugs and infinite heavenly blessings,
Maria Jordan from Jeffersonville PA on March 26, 2011:
Loved this~~ Voted UP & BEAUTIFUL~~ thank you!
Emma from Houston TX on March 17, 2011:
Useful hub which really listed the true and sincere qualities of a good friend.
ilovestories on March 17, 2011:
thank you for the great hub shil1978.
as my teacher always says, you cannot give what you don't have. so i say we trust and love ourselves first before loving and trusting others.
Str8up Hookups on March 15, 2011:
There is nothing like a true friend,luckily I have afew but the truest is myself.
Thanks for sharing!
Neon_Letters on March 14, 2011:
Totally agree i have a bunch of friends but only like 2 good friends. voted up.
Shil1978 (author) on March 12, 2011:
@ Dexis, thank you for stopping by and commenting. Glad you liked it!!
@ TFN, thank you for visiting this hub and commenting. Glad you agree!!
Marie Hurt from New Orleans, LA on March 12, 2011:
Your hub is so right on about friendship. Good to keep these points in mind when making and deciding to keep friends.
Dexi from New England on March 12, 2011:
Beautiful hub about friendship.
Ms.Wakeelah on March 09, 2011:
I agree with everything you said!
Shil1978 (author) on March 09, 2011:
Thank you, nighthag, for stopping by and commenting. Glad you liked this hub :)
K.A.E Grove from Australia on March 09, 2011:
this was a beautiful write, thanks for sharing your thoughts on what makes a true friendship, I found it both insightful and helpful thank you
Shil1978 (author) on March 09, 2011:
Thank you, FP, for that. I wish the same for you! Nice to have you around, been a while!!
Hope all is fine. Take care my friend :)
Feline Prophet on March 09, 2011:
May you never run out of good friends, Shil! :)
Shil1978 (author) on March 09, 2011:
Thank you, David, for stopping by and commenting. Glad you found this hub good enough to bookmark :)
David99999 on March 09, 2011:
This is beautiful! I have bookmarked it, so that I can enjoy it over and over.
Shil1978 (author) on March 08, 2011:
WW, I think you are right. Maybe, they were never true friends to begin with. Perhaps, I should just let it be and not think about them anymore, or blame myself for it. I am glad that you loved this hub of mine.
I agree, having hubber friends online is wonderful. Thank you for stopping by and commenting and Happy International Women's Day to you too :)
Deborah Waring from Lancashire U.K. on March 08, 2011:
I use to wonder too, if it was me who was to blame when it came to maintaining friendships.But I know feel that when a friendship seems to fizzle out and quite often because of minor misunderstandings,perhaps that those women(in my case anyway)were never true friends to begin with.Therefore you can find yourself feeling hurt and possible used, especially when you've always done your best for them!However I am reassured by my few true friends and family that I am a genuine good humanitarian person and that these female back stabbers who I thought possible needed companionship and help from myself have been jealous of my good looks and successes all along especially when they give you the cold shoulder treatment in public and therefore left wondering what you've done wrong;how sad for them because it's there loss of a person they could have had in their lives,who actually genuinly cared about them!
Loved your evaluation of friendship and particularly the quote on friendship :)
Thank you Shil,it's great to have hubber friends online x
P.S.Happy International Womens Day
Shil1978 (author) on March 07, 2011:
Wonderful having you around, Ian. Well, what can I say but thank you!! That this hub moved you shows how much you value your friends, and that it reminded you of them shows how good they are as friends to you - suffice to say, you are very lucky to have them!!
I, on the other hand, have not been very fortunate to have friends who have all (or even some) of the qualities that I listed above. I have not been in touch with some of my closest friends. I try to, but I guess their priorities have changed, or perhaps its me!!
My only friends now are my online buddies like you, and I am fortunate to have the wonderful interactions I have with you. Thank you, Ian, for stopping by this hub. It is such a pleasure reading your work and your comments :)
Twilight Lawns from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. on March 07, 2011:
Marked UP and BEAUTIFUL. What else could I do?
What a lovely and uplifting hub, Shil.
Don't tell anyone, but I got quite emotional reading it, because it described my three best friends perfectly... it almost had their names on the can.