8 Reasons You Can't Pursue a Relationship
Ever feel like your relationships are always unlucky?
Why Do My Relationships Always Fail?
A lot of people wonder why they cannot pursue relationships with the people they like. Many of them start to believe there is something wrong with them, and they allow their self-esteem to deflate.
The reality is that relationships are something that happens naturally and spontaneously. Usually, people who are highly anxious about relationships and overly self-conscious tend to have more difficulties when meeting and connecting with people.
1. You Are Too Self-Conscious
To begin connecting with someone, you need a decent amount of self-confidence. When you are quiet and withdrawn from people, they tend to overlook you. People sometimes try to socialize with shy and quiet people, but if they feel like they can’t make you comfortable enough to open up, they will eventually give up and move on.
There is nothing wrong or shameful about being open about yourself and your human need to connect with people. Even if you get rejected or criticized, it’s a normal part of socializing and dating. This happens to everyone.
2. You Simply Haven't Found the Right One for You
There is truth in the saying that there is someone for everyone. However, you need to be patient before that someone comes into your life. Many people go through a few unsuccessful relationships or dating experiences until they find the one that is best for them. Be patient and give yourself time.
3. You Interpret Neutral Signs as Rejection
This often happens to people who have low self-esteem and interpret every interaction as a slight towards them. Maybe your crush didn’t respond immediately to your text, and you convince yourself they must hate you and make fun of you now. So you give up on them and feel miserable about yourself.
If you often find yourself spiraling out in a negative way, try to change your mindset. Don’t interpret every little thing as rejection.
Don’t interpret every little thing as rejection.
4. They Don't Realize You're Interested
Some people pick up more easily on social cues, whereas others need more hints to realize that someone is interested in them. Don’t be afraid to make a further move if you feel like the person you are interested in doesn’t respond to your hints.
5. You Give Up Too Easily
You invited your crush out; they said they were busy, and you immediately interpreted that as rejection. But what if they were really busy? Or what if they were anxious themselves? Whatever you pursue in life, you need to give it some time and effort. If you give up, the person you are interested in may think that you lost interest, so it will be a loss for both of you.
6. You Pick the Wrong People
Many people are continually interested in people who don’t like them back. It’s unclear why this pattern forms, but it could be because you tend to form crushes on popular people who will most likely reject you. Maybe you have a thing for people who are already in a relationship or are not interested in being in a relationship.
If you find yourself falling for these kinds of people, ask yourself why and try to change that.
7. Your Social Circle Is Too Small
You may be shy or just introverted and don’t like socializing a lot. Being an introvert is great, but when you keep your circle of friends and acquaintances small, your chances of finding the right person also decrease.
Don’t worry if you sometimes have to expand your circle of friends—that's not necessarily a bad thing. There are plenty of awesome people to meet outside of your social circle, and maybe one of them will end up being your soul mate.
There are plenty of awesome people to meet outside of your social circle, and maybe one of them will end up being your soul mate.
8. You're Still in High School
Many teenagers and high school students feel like they must be in a relationship in order to be normal. Hormone levels are high, and lots of time is devoted to thinking about romantic relationships.
This is totally normal, but you also need to realize that dating in high school is often difficult. You are surrounded by people who care too much about social status and love to put others down. Being rejected by a person you are interested in, sometimes even in a rude and humiliating way, happens to many people. Don’t let that affect your self-esteem.
In high school, you also are not experienced and mature enough to know what you want from a relationship, so be patient. There is plenty of time later for serious relationships. Enjoy your high school years without worrying too much about it!
Recommended Reading
- What Is Emotional Neediness?
Do you easily start new relationships but can't keep them for very long, although you try hard? Emotional neediness is a common issue, and may be the reason why your relationships eventually fall apart.
Comments
Jade Anibor on April 19, 2019:
Beautiful article! I enjoyed it. Another reason could be the individual has not discovered him/herself. Discovering yourself; such as your needs, desires, likes and dislikes, and exactly what you looking for in a person and in a relationship, will help in finding the right person. If a relationship is not right for you, no matter how hard you try; your efforts would always seem wrong.
Jeannie on March 19, 2019:
How should I take it when just before entering a room with people my boyfriend of 2 weeks and I are friends with, walks ahead of me acting like we’re not together? He’s done this a few times now and I don’t like it!
dashingscorpio from Chicago on July 04, 2017:
Excellent article!
One other possibility is when someone does (like you) you put them in your "friend zone". Everyone rejects people because we all have our own "mate selection process" and "must haves list."
Sometimes without believing it we're aiming out of our league. You are rarely going see someone who looks like Melissa McCarthy dating a guy who looks like Brad Pitt. That's life!
"Don't expect to sit next to the moon unless (you) are a star!"
Ultimately rejection just means "next"!
Thankfully there are over (7 Billion) other people on the planet!
