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7 Things a Strong Woman Needs in a Relationship

This mom of two has worked with non-profits to provide educational and health programs for local children and improve the local workforce.


Strong women are filled with a determination to succeed and passion to live fully. We also wrestle with our fears and doubts just like everyone else. Because of our strength, we're often abandoned or betrayed which makes us hesitant to trust. I speak from experience.

If you want to be with a powerful woman, there's a few things you should know about what to expect and what she needs from you to build the bond needed for her to invest her love and time in you.

#1 - Climb Every Mountain

Strong women don't indulge discussions about obstacles. We say "no thanks" to annoying talk about why something can't be done. Instead, we create a list of options to get over or around roadblocks. Be the person who is helping her map the way to her goals.

#2 - Fear doesn't live here

I'm not saying strong women don't experience fear. Of course we do. It'd be crippling if we let it. We just refuse to buckle under it. We use it to fuel us.

We have no patience for people (including ourselves) who find excuses not to seize opportunities for work or play. We expect the people in our lives to have the integrity to do what's right, whether its taking a risk despite your fears or calling her on something you know she could handle better.

#3 - Be Her Rock

An alarming amount of people look at a strong woman and figure she doesn't need them in her life since she's managing fine without them. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Strong women desperately need people she can count on. Her strength springs from overcoming years of pain and fear. While she doesn't live in the past, sometimes she'll be blindsided or overwhelmed and will need support.

Just because she can do everything herself doesn't mean she should. It's exhausting be in control of everything all. the. time. She needs someone to step up and allow her to let go. This is where trust come into play. The more you've proven you can handle her strength and see things through, the more she'll let you share the responsibilities with her. She'll feel safe enough to let go of the reins a bit.

#4 - Be Brave

Speaking of fear, if you tell a strong woman that she scares you, she will cry. Not in front of you, of course. In private. Most likely in a dark room with something to mask the sound of her sobs.

She already has too many people working against her to "put her in her place" or abandoning her because she's "too much". She's been undercut and ghosted by people she trusted. She's seen the warning signs and been told she's "unrealistic". She's had people try to make her smaller, force her into a box, and wear labels.

And after all that, she's continued to be true to herself.

Hearing that she's "scary" will be the death knell which tells her you don't have the fortitude to keep up with her and/or you're trying to manipulate her behaviour. Either way, you'll have lost her.


#5 - Speak Plainly

Strong women try not to be harsh or overly blunt. No one likes to hurt feelings. However, we find that sugar-coating things makes others "confused" about our intent or down-play the importance of our words. So, we say what we mean and mean what we say.

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It's frustrating to be with someone whose ego or feelings are easily bruised. Plain-speaking isn't the same as being cruel. Saying we're rude or mean is a good way to get escorted to the door. We don't have time for self-pity, manipulation, or "delicate flowers".

#6 - No Comparison

Strong women don't compare unless it's to notice how far we've come in our journey. It's not a contest, but you do need to pull your own weight. So, stuff the digs about how much time we spend working or how much money we make in comparison to yourself or others. And, for the love of all that is holy - do NOT complain that your strong woman is making progress when you're not, especially if you've both been presented with the same opportunities.

She will extend a hand to help you with a legit problem or put a foot on your butt to help you keep up, but if you're not trying to keep pace with her or striving to reach your goals, you're gonna get left behind.


#7 - R-E-S-P-E-C-T


Treat her and her goals with respect and admiration. Work with her as an equal in all areas of life. This is a true display of confidence and power that is more attractive than money and valuables. With genuine respect, her devotion and loyalty to you will get stronger as your time together progresses.

Originally Published Aug 12, 2015

© 2021 Rosa Marchisella


dashingscorpio from Chicago on June 19, 2021:

I believe to some extent both women and men have "fairytale" versions of the kind of person they want for a mate.

It's believed most women want a handsome, strong, passionate, romantic man who listens well and makes them feel safe.

Men are suspected of wanting a beautiful feminine woman who is loving, affectionate, and supportive,

Blame it on romance novels and Hollywood movies but when it comes to love and relationships most women and men have a hard time letting go of the fairytale. Not many "strong women" are willing to extend marriage proposals to the men they love and not many men are looking for a women whom they view as competitors.

Given the choice between being "special" or "equal" a lot of folks still prefer to be "special" in their (romantic) relationships.

Those men who are "awaken" can see the benefits of having a strong woman or a woman seeing a man with "beta qualities" who feels he has nothing to prove. Both of them usually want their partner to be their "soft place" to fall at the end of the day.

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on June 16, 2021:

I have been all seven things here and sometimes wish I could have someone do that for me.

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