When people live together for more than 20-30 years, it seems that they become one and their bond is inseparable. However, even after many years together, the couple may decide to divorce. Let's look into the matter and try to understand 7 Reasons Why People Get Divorced After Years of Marriage.
Every 13 minutes, one couple in the world gets divorced. Society assumes that marriage is always good and divorce is always bad, and the first question asked from a divorcing couple is: What happened? And every couple will give a different reason.
Statistics show that divorcing couples generally divorce after 6 to 9 years of marriage, and the most "popular" age for divorcing is 30 to 34. About 40% of divorces occur during the first five years of marriage, and only 12% of couples divorce after 20 years of marriage. But if the reason for divorce after the first five years of marriage can be described as " not matching personalities," then what is there to lose because after 25-30 years of living together and recognizing that it is all over? It can be very depressing. Together we will examine the seven main reasons why people divorce after many years together.
The most prominent personal crisis is the mid-life crisis. It occurs in both men and women. It occurs around the age of 40. At this time we begin to ask ourselves the questions: Who am I? Is this how I live my life? Where am I going? Am I with the right partner? Crisis changes expectations. Some begin to "adjust" the existing spouses to their new norms, some find new ones more suited to their new identity, some go through their new ideals to try them out until old age, never finding peace of mind. People in crisis often ask themselves philosophical questions, and the thought of divorce (as the beginning of a new life) seems like a solution to the problem and offers a chance to start over.
2. Marital adultery
It destroys marriages at all ages of partners, but in this section, we will look specifically at adultery that occurs at a mature age. Sometimes people who have financial stability, possessions and established relationships begin to think that they, having contributed to the welfare of the family, are not valued by their partners, and try to find affirmation of their importance "on the side".
Infidelity in adulthood, on the other hand, is often compensatory. Usually, the emotional separation between the spouses has been going on for a long time, and the cheating that occurs is a consequence of the damaged relationship.
We also recommend a book, "Healing from Infidelity: The Divorce Busting Guide to Rebuilding Your Marriage After an Affair" for people who want to work out their marriage after adultery.
3.The intellectual or spiritual divide
Virtually all people change over the course of their lives. Divorce can be caused by the fact that they change at different rates. For example, if one partner has progressed a lot and the other has stayed the same, separation in such situations is almost inevitable. If a partner develops new ideologies it becomes difficult to love the same person.
4. Emotional burnout
The 20-30 year mark of married life brings with it an accumulation of unresolved issues, mistakes, disappointments and outbursts that can lead to spouses becoming exhausted. Sometimes this burden is simply ignored, and sometimes the vessel overflows and the decision to divorce seems to be the only viable option.
5. Completing the project
Very often spouses stay married just for the sake of raising children, for example. Then the children grow up and it becomes obvious that the two people have nothing in common - the "project" is over. Other factors that can also be a part of the "project": paying a mortgage, caring for a sick relative, getting a degree and much more. In addition, the family's financial well-being can be a link. Usually, by adulthood, people already have a flat, a house, a car and a desire to live for themselves.
6.Self-realisation and fatigue
At the age of 40-50, many people have a desire to rest and enjoy their lives. At the same time, there is also an opportunity for self-realisation, to give themselves time for their favourite activity or hobby, especially if they have completed the 'project' from the previous point. There comes a time when one realises that the years are running out, but their talent has not been developed and their dreams have not been fulfilled. The family does not seem to allow for drastic changes, and there is a need to free oneself from obligations.
7. New feelings
Love is known to be age-appropriate, and it is not uncommon for one of the spouses to fall in love at a mature age. The more recent love may be stronger than the first, and the choice is usually made in favour of the new feelings.
It is important to remember that divorce is neither good nor bad. It just happens. Any couple, and especially a couple with years of life on the line, needs to decide whether divorce is the only way out, as most of the problems described above are realistic - find the reasons for the mundane problems in the relationship, remember the good times you loved each other, replenish your memories, renew or form family traditions and just try to be happy together.
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