Well, here i go again on a next dating rant. This time we look at what men should not do the first time that a woman invites him home for a nice home cooked meal. After spending a lifetime shopping and then another millennium in the kitchen, waving wands and snapping slippers to turn your meal into a Godly feast, and even surfing the internet to by cookbooks just to get everything right. Men will then actually do the unthinkable to turn a beautiful dinner for two into a witches brew.
1. Smell Your Food
Down boy, down! When a women decides to cook for her man, she will try her best to out do herself in order to present a fabulous dish for her new found spouse. As a matter of fact this is probably the only time when a woman will actually think more about her kitchen presentation and taste than her hair and nails. Women will try to go all out in the kitchen to give to you a tasty and attractive meal. The worst thing you could do is smell the food that is presented in front of you. Now, lets look at what i mean when i say smell the food. You can smell food in different ways (how, and you only have one nose right?) well it is not what you use to smell the food but how you smell the food. If she comes in with the food or the food is on the table before you enter the dining room, you can give a compliment like "Wow, that smell's real good" then if you want to smell the food at the table you can take a deep whiff of the food, by doing this she already knows why you are smelling the food as you made that well clear ahead of time. But if you sit around the table with a suspicious look on your face with one eyebrow raised and then dip your face over the plate and take three quick sniffs, that is bad food manners and she may be very upset over you smelling her food. That my friend is telling her that you don't believe that the food will taste good, probably not cooked properly, or smells disgusting.
2. Ask What It Is
One of the worst things you can also do is not recognize a good tasty dish when you see it. After spending hours upon hours in her kitchen coming up with one of the best dishes of the year, and then places that great meal in front of you to stimulate your taste buds, you look t it and ask her what it is? You must never ask a woman what it is that you are about to eat. If you don't recognize the meal, eat it anyway, as long as you tell her what you may be allergic to, as some allergies can really be deadly. If she prepares her mom for dinner, eat her, compliment her and then ask about her mom's location. Always try to be on top of the ball. It's either you know what you are eating and stop eating, or you don't know what you are eating and continue to eat.
Who you looking at?
3. Quit Staring At Your Dinner
Don't give your dinner on the count of five to draw! Quit staring at the meal so long without even placing your hands on the table to hold your knife and fork. Some men stare at cooked meal so long you would believe a mirror was at the top of the plate. By staring at your food the lady will begin to wonder if you have hesitations about her cooking. You sit there thinking that maybe she put something in your food so that the next morning you wake up with wearing wedding rings or wondering if the meal she has just prepared is edible. Snap out of your hypnosis and begin chowing down. You don't want to spoil a good moment with a long stare, do you? And if you keep staring at your food it just might begin to stare back!!
4. Ask For The Salt And Pepper
Come on now, if i was a lady who spent all my sweat and tears preparing a meal for a guy who sits and then sticks a piece of meat down is throat and ask for salt and pepper, that meal would have been on him...literally. What would you be thinking asking for salt and pepper when a meal is prepared for you in a nice romantic setting. This is not Jo's Burger Joint or Yang Sow's Fast and Spicy Chinese food. That would be rather disrespectful to ask for salt and pepper at a dinner made for two by that lady you have been trying to court all year. By asking for salt or pepper you are simply implying that the food is tasteless, not seasoned properly or even worst. Pepper helps to kill taste, so by asking for pepper you maybe implying that the meal is so awful you prefer to burn away your taste buds than to go through the horror of tasting her cooking. Guess what, you don't get to ask for salt or pepper, you better eat up and smile about it.
5.Tell Her You Are Suddenly Not Feeling Hungry
Can you imagine the audacity of the man who is invited to dinner and cooked for by a beautiful lady, after seeing the meal or has developed doubts in his mind suddenly tells her that he suddenly feels a bit full and has lost his appetite.He comes up with a sick story about having a bad stomach or he may have had too many beers before he came. That my friend is the height of total disrespect and should not be tolerated by any woman, the nerve of him! It takes a great deal of time and preparation to create a dish that you think someone will enjoy eating and you will be proud presenting. You work your way around the kitchen like an unpaid laborer and dishes out splendor and spectacular, only to be rejected at the very last minute. Your time and money may have gone down the drain. The bottle of champagne you had chilling should be used for two things; one is drinking your self to sleep alone that night or use it to do something with his head!
If you are a lady and is on the verge to creating magi in the kitchen but you don't know where to start. The pioneer Woman Cooks: Food from My frontier is the great book packed with great ways to make marvelous meals.
To Reiterate my Points
Never Smell Your Food
Never Ask What It Is
Never Stare At Your Food
Never ask for Salt and Pepper
Never use the feeling stuffed or bad stomach card
Well, now that you are armed with this valuable information on what not to do when a lady cooks for you, you are on your way to making a great impression and having a blast of a time with the lady who has spent half a day trying to prepare a kings meal. Treat her kindly and treat her cooking kindly and watch the night fill with colors like when the rain subsides leaving a beautiful rainbow behind. Remember that it's not what you say, but how you react. Action has a bigger voice than words.
Remember, even though you will not disrespect her cooking there is nothing wrong walking with a bottle of Pepto in your car hidden somewhere out of sight!.......wink....:-)
Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on February 20, 2015:
Thanks for you sweet comment Minnetonka Twin
Linda Rogers from Minnesota on February 20, 2015:
LOL-love your sense of humor Clive. I would have no problem if the gentleman caller asked for salt and pepper, as I can't live without it. Super fun and sweet hub.
Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on February 19, 2015:
hey, thanks for your comment Nell. yes that octupus looks really yummy!!!
Nell Rose from England on February 19, 2015:
LOL! oh that octopus looks soooo yummy! yuck! I used to have a sign on my kitchen wall that stated 'I make well balanced meals......you have a 50/50 chance of recovery! LOLOLO! now, do you want to come to dinner?? Haha! great hub, and really made me laugh!
Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on February 18, 2015:
Ruby Jean Richert from Southern Illinois on February 18, 2015:
I must ask, " What's that thing on the plate with a curled tail? " YUCK..funny Clive..
Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on February 18, 2015:
lol@frank, you may just lose out that night...:)
Frank Atanacio from Shelton on February 18, 2015:
I dunno clive.. I am a smeller, a teller, and if doesn't look right ..my non hunger card gets slapped on the table...
Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on February 17, 2015:
i hope so billy, i hope so
James C Moore from Joliet, IL on February 17, 2015:
I'm glad that all smelling isn't bad. Your number 5 reason has NEVER been an issue with me.
Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on February 17, 2015:
Clive, I think you've saved a lot of marriages with this article. LOL