Updated date:

5 Steps to Get Out of the Friend Zone

Author:

The 5 Steps to Get Out of the Friend Zone

1. Distance yourself from her.

2. Avoid most interaction and socialization.

3. Do not be her "best friend" or someone to go to for help.

4. Work on yourself, improve yourself, change yourself.

5. Revisit a romance with her only after things are different.

Step 1: Distance yourself from her

One of the reasons that you're in the friend zone is because you're acting like a friend!

Stop being there for her, stop helping her when she needs help, stop being the person she calls when she needs help, is bored, wants to chat, wants to hang out, etc.

Don't be the person she can rely on to be there for her at any time, to help her with any of her problems.

Friends are there for each other, but romantic partners are not.

Sure, many people are together with people because they've been friends for a long time or are familiar with each other, but in the vast majority of cases, people are together with someone they briefly met before dating, were only acquainted with, or were simply strangers up until they went on that first date!

The advice here is to get away from her... and since you've probably been around her for a long time and have been acting like a friend, you're going to have to spend a good amount of time distancing yourself from her. My recommendation is to distance yourself from her for at least one year.

Step 2: Avoid most interaction and socialization

During your year of self-imposed isolation from her, you definitely need to avoid her as much as humanly possible. Possibly avoid her at all costs!

At the one extreme, move to another city so you don't see her all that much. Obviously, you might only do this if you really, really, really want to eventually marry her.

Without going to such extremes, however, you can simply avoid a lot of the things you might be doing to interact and socialize with her all the time.

If you got to the same school, stop hanging out at the same time (if you share friends). If she's there, go somewhere else! Don't be rude about it, just excuse yourself politely.

If you're connected to her in a big way on social media, stop liking or commenting on her posts or what she shares... don't even look at her stuff! Also, stop posting so much, bro. A big part of romance is based on mystery, and if you expose all aspects of your life via social media, you aren't being mysterious.

You can post from time-to-time on your social media, but make sure that your posts are decidedly mysterious or are genuinely interesting.

For the year that you are quarantining from her, you are achieving the goal of moving yourself out of the friend zone and going into the zone of potential partners. Strangers are in the pool of potential partners simply because they aren't around at all!

Step 3: Do not be her "best friend" or someone to go to for help

Related to Step 2, Step 3 is simply general advice and can be used when it's impossible to quarantine yourself from her.

Friends are people you go to when you need help, are bored, or just want to chat... they are the furthest thing from romantic partners. Why? Because a good friend is hard to come by and nobody wants to lose a good friend for any reason.

After all, if friends drift apart, they can reconnect at any time. But if things go sour in a romantic relationship, it will be impossible to go back to being friends. Thus, women avoid turning friends into romantic partners.

Of course, you might say that a husband is going to have to be a good friend - and this is true - but a husband is not really a friend. A husband is more like the foundation upon which a house is built, while friends are more like the conveniences within.

So, don't be her friend! Don't be there for her right now. You can be there for her if you start a romantic relationship with her - and even at that point, you're not going to be there for her all the time.

Step 4: Work on yourself, improve yourself, change yourself

During your time of isolation from her, you're going to want to be preparing yourself to reintroduce yourself back into her life.

When the time comes to get back in her life in order to kindle a romantic relationship, you'll want to appear to be a different person. You don't want to just get back into old habits and get back into the friend zone, bro!

So, during the recommended year that you quarantine yourself, you want to work on various aspects of yourself. Improve yourself.

Obviously, improving yourself is always a good thing, even if the end goal is to impress the woman that you yearn for. I'm not saying to change yourself just to be able to appear different... simply get on the ball for the changes and improvements you've always wanted to make for yourself.

Did you always want to improve how you look? Tidy yourself up, get some fashion sense, grow out your facial hair and get longer hair? Taking a year off from seeing her is the perfect time! Longer hair and some nice facial hair will surprise her when you eventually see her again.

Maybe you want to save money for a car, or you want to get a job promotion, or you want to work out so that your arms are sexy. There are so many things you could be doing to improve yourself and appear as a more desirable partner!

Get on it, don't delay! Don't it every day!

Friend zone no longer!

Friend zone no longer!

Step 5: Revisit a romance with her only after things are different

Once your recommended year of quarantine from her is up, it's time to revisit starting a romantic relationship with her.

Of course, one year is simply the minimum recommendation; it is totally acceptable to go longer, but depending on your age, you wouldn't want to be away for so long that she finds someone else! If you find someone else, that's cool, though!!!

Anyway, after you've improved and changed, people that haven't seen you for a while should be somewhat surprised or even shocked when they see you again. You can test this out by going to see or meet some people that you haven't seen since before you started your "year of change". If they aren't surprised or shocked or something like that, then it seems you'll have to work on yourself a bit more. If they are surprised at how much you've changed, however, it's time to go for that romantic relationship.

How to go about kindling a romantic relationship with her is a whole other topic, but it is basically the same process as dating a girl that you are an acquaintance with. Definitely do not bring up or try to rely on your old friendship! Get that friend zone out of your system and don't remind her of your "friendship"

Good luck!

Comments

dashingscorpio from Chicago on October 13, 2020:

There are two basic reasons why guys end up in the "friendzone".

1. Lack of courage to be upfront regarding romance intentions.

2. She doesn't see YOU as date/relationship material.

Under both scenarios guys willfully assume the "platonic friend" role with the hope that one day she will suddenly realize (he) is what she has been looking for or he might catch her in a weak moment whereby crying on his shoulder becomes one thing leads to another scenario...etc.

One of the biggest cowardly lines involves asking a girl if she wants to "hangout" rather than ask her out on a date. Guys use the term "hangout" because they fear rejection and in the event she does say "no" they can pretend like their invitation was a platonic in nature. "She didn't turn ME down. She turned down the activity." (It's a head-game some men play on themselves.)

On the other hand if she said "yes" and a fun time was had; neither person is 100% sure that they were on a "date". Sometimes both people are trying to "figure out" if it's a friendship or if someone likes them. Adults don't "hangout", they date!

When it's all said and done rejection saves you time and money.

In order for (her) to be "the one" she would have to see (you) as being "the one". At the very least a "soulmate" is someone who actually wants to be with you! (And vice versa)

In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: Next!

The best way to get out of the "friendzone" is never to enter into it to begin with. If she's not into you move on.

Being the "friendzone" robs you of time and keeps you in limbo.

One man's opinion! :)