There is a popular song in which someone is asking their ex if he or she will come come over if the world was ending. The title of the song is "If the World was Ending, You'll Come Over...Right? The backstory is that the two parties have already been separated for at least a year and are currently not in a committed relationship with each other.
Here are 5 reasons your ex will not come over to see you-- even if the world was ending.
In my analogy here, it is assumed that the two individuals are adults or at least over 30 years old at which time their raging hormones should have quieted down. It is certain that if a teenager had a close relationship with someone of the opposite sex, or even possibly of the same sex, he or she would definitely come over if the world was ending. Their hormones are driving this decision instead of logic and common sense.
My tips are written from the female perspective., i.e., the woman asking the man if he would come over if the world was ending.
With the above being said, here are five reasons your ex would not come over to see you -- even if the world was ending.
Most men know it is smart to learn from their mistakes.
1. Fear of Rejection
Most men are known to have huge, delicate egos. Since you two have been separated and probably have not spoken to each other for at least a year as the song lyrics go, he has no idea how you would react should he just show up at your door -- even if the world was ending.
He has already been rejected once and left with a damaged ego, so it is very unlikely he would want to place himself in that same situation again. Most men know that it is smart to learn from their mistakes. From his perspective, it was probably a mistake for you two to be together in the first place, so there is no reason to repeat this relationship scenario.
Additionally, he does not know what state of mind or body you will be in once he arrives at your place. Of course, if you initiate a call for him to come over, he probably can tell by your slurred speech that you have probably been drinking. How would he know for certain that it is ok for him to come over if you are not sober?
Some women change their minds a lot -- sometimes within seconds of making a decision. Suppose he comes to the conclusion that since the world is ending, he will chance being rejected. By the time he comes over, maybe you have sobered up and have decided that you indeed do not want to see him again, even if the world was ending.
2. Fear of Retaliation
It is unlikely that your breakup was an amicable one. He would not come over because he has no idea what your intentions are. Maybe on his last day on earth, you want to seek revenge on him for causing the end of what used to be a solid relationship. And yes, even though as the saying goes, it takes two to tangle, you have probably decided that he caused the breakup.
One of the main reasons that couples break up is that someone has cheated -- either the man or the woman. Oftentimes it’s the man who does so. If he cheated on you, he may catch you in the arms of someone else, smiling sheepishly at him as he enters your home. You may be thinking to yourself as you watch his shocked face -- ”This ought to teach him a lesson!”
It would be cruel of you to do so, but maybe you want to even the score and let him experience the pain you felt when you caught him cheating.
3. Fear of Missing Out on Better Choices
Have you ever wondered why most men cheat, even though they seemingly already have a good relationship with their ideal mate. Take the case of Jay-Z who cheated against someone who is purported to be one of the most beautiful women in the world, Beyonce. He boldly took a chance of losing her by cheating and even going so far as to release a song about it.
From the news, you probably know that Beyonce at first was understandably upset, but eventually, she cooled down, and I believe she forgave him, because obviously, she did not divorce him. Even though she probably knows that he may cheat on her again because I think she is aware in the back of her mind that once a cheater, always a cheater.
Why do men cheat you may ask. Some men cheat because they think they are missing out on what they perceived to be better choices of women (or men). Some men satisfy this assumption by having a mistress on the side or a “side chick”, while keeping the wife or girlfriend in the dark about their affairs.
However, since it is the end of the world, it is unlikely your ex will come over, because he will probably want to chase after women one last time, maybe to see if he still “has it.” He possibly chased after you initially and obtained your love, affection and devotion. You two subsequently broke up so the chasing game has long been over.
You are no longer a challenge for him. Even worse, he probably is no longer interested in continuing a relationship with you. The fact that he is currently not with you speaks volumes about his intention not to spend his last day on earth with you. He would probably prefer to go to the local bar and see if he can score one more woman or chase one more skirt before the world ends.
4. Fear of Being Bored on His Last Day on Earth
It is no secret that some men and women have different interests. If the world was ending, it is possible that your significant other would prefer to do other things rather than spend his precious last moments with you.
Maybe there is a special event or game being televised that he would rather watch than be with you. Of course, he could do double duty by coming over to see you and watching the game at the same time. But from past experience, he knows that you may want 100 percent of his attention, especially since the world is ending. Let’s be honest here. It is very unlikely you want to share his attention with a sports event of some sort if the world was ending. You would want to have his full, undivided attention.
The above being said, I’m sure he would be wondering exactly what you two would be doing on your last day if the world was ending. Would you eat dinner together, have deep conversations with each other or kiss and make up and forget each of your past misgivings? There are other possibilities as well.
However, from his purview, he probably may conjure up more interesting things to do on his last day on earth -- which unfortunately does not include you. It’s sad but true. The fear of boredom would be one of the reasons he would not want to come over to see you if the world was ending.
5. Fear of Isolation from Family
During trying times, people sometimes connect with their families more than ever. Take the current situation with the COVID-19 pandemic raging everywhere. One of the major disappointments of most people is the inability to be close to loved ones. This is especially wrenching to families who may be apart during the holidays or other special times of their lives, such as birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
However, if the world was ending, and assuming that COVID-19 is long gone and is now just a distant memory, he would probably prefer to be with his family members, which unfortunately does not include you.
There is a saying that blood is thicker than water. Would your ex want to spend the last day of his life with someone he has had a turbulent relationship with or would he rather be with his doting family who has always loved, supported and accepted him unconditionally?
Of course the caveat is that maybe he has no immediate family. In this case, it's possible that he has forged close relationships with his friends who he would feel more comfortable with spending his last day on earth with -- other than with you.
Most importantly, if the world was ending, he probably would not want to be with someone who he had a failed relationship with. He would not want to risk his last day on earth filled with negativity or memories of such, all because of your strong desire to be with him, your ex, since the world is ending.
A more suitable question you can ask your ex is: If the world was ending, you wouldn’t come over... Right?
How to Get Over Your Ex
Courtlney Davis (author) on December 12, 2020:
Thanks for sharing your comments. I believe everyone has their own preferences as to who they would like to spend their last day on earth with. I think we can agree that whoever they decide upon, the choice definitely would not be with their ex.
dashingscorpio from Chicago on December 10, 2020:
"Most men are known to have huge, delicate egos."
Women have never been expected to routinely "initiate" conversations, to ask a man to dance, go on dates, enter into relationships, or propose marriage. Those few women who have done so realize how much courage it takes.
Most women have never come close to experiencing one scintilla of (direct rejection) the average man contends with in his life.
Needless to say most men eventually get past their fear of rejection and persist in their efforts to find affection, love, and marriage. If they didn't there would be very few relationships.
Each year there are 2.3 million weddings in the U.S. and most of those take place after a (man) has gotten down on one knee.
It's understandable how someone might have a delicate ego if they've heard the word "no" enough times. Mothers of sons get a glimpse of what it's like when they see them having to deal with it.
With regard to the old: "Once a cheater always a cheater line."
It's actually a "self-defense" mantra to keep someone from taking a risk again with a person who has betrayed them or others.
If someone can be an ex drug user, ex drinker, and ex smoker it makes no logical sense to believe that a 17 year old guy who cheated on his girlfriend is (DOOMED) to be a cheater for the rest of his life!
Both cheating and monogamy are (choices) the individual makes.
Anyone who has ever seen one episode of the TV shows "Cheaters", "Paternity Court", or Maury Povich AKA "You are NOT the father!" is fully aware that neither gender is standing on "holy ground".
The marriages of Beyoncé, Halle Berry, and Sandra Bullock should put to rest that (a woman's level of beauty) doesn't guarantee loyalty.
Beyoncé along with many other women from Jackie Kennedy to Hillary Clinton have proved that cheating isn't an automatic "deal breaker". All three women are considered strong and did not need financial support from their husbands and yet they stayed.
I think the reason why most exes wouldn't want to spend their last night together is because real life is not a "romantic comedy".
There is no one "sole-mate" but rather there are lots of "soulmates". After any breakup one generally learns life really does go on.
If I had only one night to live I would want to make sure I spend that last night with someone I was currently romantically involved with.
As one old adage goes:
"An ex is an ex for a reason and it's usually a good reason."
In order for your (ex) to have been "the one" she/he would have had to see (you) as being "the one". At the very least a "soulmate" is someone who actually wants to be with you!
Your future lies ahead of you and not behind you.