Imran loves Anthropology. He loves to study human nature and hunts ways to make life better for all.
Even loving and caring husbands could be hated by their wives for their flaws that trigger offense and madness. What they won't face is the slap of divorce as love wins and binds together.
They say that a man who keeps his woman sexually happy is a winner. They also gloat that life becomes fairly easy for such a man and women cling to him like a magnet to iron.
Well, I am not going to deny that fact. Men do have that kind of power and charm in them. I know many wives who adore their husbands for good sex and overlook their other flaws.
This controversial theory might befittingly apply to casual encounters and girlfriends. Does it really?
However, wives are different and deserve more. Don't they?
Such men must deeply ponder: what about personality and character? Do these not matter?
When you are married, your story becomes tough. It quickly progresses from elementary to intermediate and advanced levels. Your charm even though effective may not be enough. You have to be responsible, alert, thoughtful, and visionary. You can't be reckless. It's like you have to renew yourself into a new and better person as you are no longer just one person but a team.
Another life lives with you inside you in your heart. That life is of your wife. The husbands who overlook or ignore this truth will be disliked and even hated by their wives one day or another.
Some Annoying Habits
A few instances from the day to day life:
- He walks in shoes after you have mopped the floor.
- He scatters stuff helter-skelter after you have sorted the house in order.
- He eats messily and drops crumbs on surfaces.
- You give him a grocery list but he forgets an item.
- Even after giving specific instructions, he gets a different item and then fights with you when interrogated.
- He keeps his things somewhere but can never find them on his own, and forgets his belongings and then yell at you.
- Example: He doesn't know where his wallet or watch or bag or handkerchief or keys or socks or ties etc have been kept
1) He is useless:
Your husband is not useful. He is like hideous furniture at home which is heavy to lift, irritating to clean, and always in sight acting as a reminder or warning. He is another headache in your daily chores and errands.
2) He is unhelpful:
He doesn't help with household chores. Worse, he messes with your work and increases your burden. He believes earning money is his only duty and the rest falls squarely on his wife's shoulders.
3) Refuses to grow up:
Your husband is not an adult but a child. He refuses to act maturely and lives nonchalantly. He would want his life to be like that of playful children who don't give a damn about anything.
4) Tends to be irresponsible:
Nobody likes responsibilities; everybody seeks freedom, independence, and the ability to make decisions without interference.
When married, your decision can't just be your own. Two persons are involved and both of them matter. A deal has to be made; a negotiation must be done which might not favor one person entirely.
A wife will dutifully alert her husband of his responsibilities which might not go pleasantly and peacefully between the couple.
5) He misunderstands and fights with you:
Your behavior, statements, actions, etc are often misunderstood. Even if you do something out of love and goodness of your heart, it arises his judgment and suspicions. The two of you have a zero understanding.
6) He cheats, flirts, and has extramarital affairs:
A male character by the novelist Tilly Bagshaw in her novel 'Reckless' condemned that how does a wife expect his rich and charming husband to be faithful to her only?
He said that when a man has health, money, and resources, he is bound to cheat, so the wife must close her eyes to his cheating.
Infidelity gives brief carnal pleasures along with irrecoverable losses. Sons and daughters suffer the most in the feud - even more than the husband or wife.
7) Is not your ideal choice:
As a wife, if you started your journey on the wrong foot and dislike your husband as a person, at some point you will start hating him.
Reasons could be: he is not your type, you don't like his looks, features, characteristics, personality, etc.
That 'what if' factor will haunt your mind endlessly which might stop you from loving selflessly.
8) He rubs it in your face:
He swells in pride about being the breadwinner; at the same time, he disregards your accomplishments as a homemaker.
9) Is incompatible:
Even after putting in grueling efforts the two of you can't mesh or gel or connect. Your natures, thinking, behavior, reactions clash indefinitely.
10) Is smug and arrogant:
He has too much self-love. He is narcissistic and gives excessive importance to his thoughts and feelings. 'My life, my way, my rules' is his mantra. He gives orders and behaves bossily.
11) Is unfeeling and unloving:
Whenever you try to strike a pleasant conversation, he shuts you off. He stays quiet and unresponsive when you talk or discuss. He replies coldly with a grunt or a gesture alike. He shoots an 'I am not interested' look and is impatient with you.
You feel hollow in your life as your husband doesn't express love either verbally or through gestures.
Beware, you could end up being miserable because of an unloving husband. Destructive habits and options will start laying a trap to cover your heartbreak and pain. You risk addiction or depression in such a case. Issues like alcoholism, gambling, loneliness, etc will hook their claws and force their way into your life.
12) He is inconsiderate:
You have no say in minor or major matters. He is strict and uptight. Your partner takes decisions on his own without your consultation or involvement. He/she disregards your opinions and leaves you in the lurk.
13) He disrespects you:
He treats you poorly and shabbily. Talking sweetly to you is not in his manners. Worse, he thrashes you every now and then. There are no small acts of kindness, and he attacks your dignity. If he doesn't respect you, he will earn your repulsion.
14) Doesn't give sufficient time to the family:
He is inundated or too busy to give time to you or his children. This can scuttle you into a dangerous place. You might end up cheating on him or indulge in other unfair acts. Your children might go into depression, sadness, anger, addiction, intoxication, etc.
15) He won't compromise his social life:
His personal life is vital and can't be compromised. He enjoys the company of irrelevant people and can't adjust well between social life and married life. He has no focus on the family.
16) Has poor hygiene:
Your sweetheart doesn't care much about trimming and cleaning the bunch of hair sticking out of his nose and ears.
He is hairy at unwanted places, especially his back, upper arms, and shoulders.
He has smelly and hairy armpits. He avoids taking a bath even when he perspires profusely and looks shabby and unclean. His clothes keep stinking of sweat.
17) His source of income is impure:
He will cheat, embezzle, or follow unfair practices no matter what. 'money must flow-in anyhow' is his mantra. He won't hesitate to deceive or break the trust of his clients. He will scam people and carry out unhealthy business transactions.
What he is feeding you with is blood money and black money. Don't you think that someday you are going to have to pay a heavy price for his atrocities?
18) Is corrupt:
Your man is unethical, immoral, corrupt, and diabolical. He will get what he wants at any cost. His conscience runs low and he is not religious or concerned about right and wrong. All he wants is profit.
19) Is weak in sex:
You are unhappy with your sex life. You don't enjoy the intimacy and have to even fake orgasms at times. You are living a loveless marriage that lacks romance and has no spark.
His moves, rhythm, gestures, foreplay, and emotions are purely mechanical which fail to excite you or put you over the edge.
Consequently, there will be fights, blame games, shocking theories, and accusations leading to frustration, disgust, and even hatred.
20) lacks decency and propriety:
Your spouse lacks etiquette and general manners. He doesn't have socially acceptable conduct and is uncivilized, ungracious, and impolite. He lacks class and culture and is not a gentleman. You wish he would change, but he hardly would.
Uneducated and illiterate men may not be a match to the educated ones, but they can still train and groom themselves for the better.
21) Has womanly traits:
Two conflicting women in one house will bring danger. If one of them happens to be a male having certain characteristics of a female, their life will only get tougher over time.
My statement doesn't refer to effeminate men. They are a different matter altogether, and that issue is critical indeed.
What I mean is, some husbands can't just stop bickering, complaining, and taunting. They keep issues within themselves and sulk or rot from inside. They either overthink or hold grudges and stretch the matter way too far.
Reasons could be:
- They are nosey, particular, specific about things.
- Are obsessed, superstitious, and have OCD.
- Their nature has always been this way.
Such a type of husband could face animosity over time.
22) Has superiority complex:
Husbands who believe they are above their wives will face loathing. Partners are not superior or inferior. They are equal. They should behave like two pieces cut from the same cloth.
23) He doesn't appreciate you:
Your household work and duties are ignored and undervalued by him. He doesn't give credit to your hard work. He is stingy with compliments and never appreciates you or your efforts. He enjoys the comfort and convenience you provide him, but you are merely a maid to him. Above all, he fails to appreciate you as his spouse or as a person.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2022 Imran Khan