Lori values relationships and is always seeking ways to improve communication skills.
I think men are fine and dandy because God made them. But they think and see the world (and women) so differently. Sometimes they need a little help along the way with considerate attitudes and ways to communicate with their wives or girlfriends. And in all fairness, women have some serious communication issues as well. You can find the link for that article at the end of this one. So men, step lively and pay attention, you just may avoid catastrophe and find amazing joy in your marriage by honoring your wife.
Love...does not dishonor others. It does not demand its own way...
— 1 Corinthians 13:5
Demanding Your Role and Hers
- "The Bible says wives should submit to their husbands?" It's true, the Bible says this. But when you say it, it means you are selfishly demanding to have your way regardless of her feelings or the wisdom of it. By the way, the Bible also says we are to submit to one another (Eph. 5:21).
- "Housework is your job, I go to work." Your wife may have assumed the role of keeper of the home by mutual agreement and understanding, but what you are saying here is that you work and she doesn't, and likely she simply asked you pick up your dirty underwear and wet towels off the bathroom floor, of which you are too lazy to do.
- "I work hard all day. It's your job to handle the kids." Really? Since you are so knowledgeable of the Bible, you ought to know the role God has for fathers and being the head of the home.
- "This is my house, I pay the bills." Death sentence guys. While you are paying the bills with the money you earned, your wife has been keeping the house up (her name is also on the mortgage) and serving her family with love to make the house a home.
- "I'd love to spend time with you and the kids today, but I work hard all week and I need time with the guys." You just told a big whopper. You wouldn't love to spend time with them and that is why you are going out all the time on the weekends.
- "Why are you looking at me like that? I did the hard part and caught the fish, it's your job to clean it."
- "Thank you," after intimacy. It wasn't a service to meet your needs.
8. "It was only $1,200. I thought you'd be happy I bought a new TV." Making expensive purchases without consulting her and trying to make it look like you did it for her and the kids is disrespecting her partnership with you.
9. "Why are you mad? Every boy should have a BB gun at his age." Once again you did not consult her and likely she has expressed in the past her disapproval for little boys and BB gun.
10. "I don't get it, I thought you'd love to go hunting for vacation." You know better. If you don't, it's because you're selfish.
Inconsiderate Last Minute Invitations
11. "I invited the boss and a couple of the office guys over for football tonight. Can you get some pizza, beer, and chips? (This is after she's already prepared a tasty dinner for two). What a great inconvenience to your wife. And if she ends up bending to your will, you might at least be gracious enough to go out and get your own snacks, or clean up before and after your party.
12. "I invited mom to come spend the week. She'll be here in an hour." You better hope your wife and mother adore each other. Even so, it's a lot of running around getting things ready. And if they don't get along, you are creating a very stressful situation which could get hostile and cause great division for all concerned. Back to your Bible knowledge...a man should leave his mother and father and cleave unto his wife.
13. "I invited Ed to stay a few days, his wife kicked him out. He won't be any trouble." He will be and so will you be.
Insulting Your Wife's Body and Looks
14. Never say "yes" when she asks if what she's wearing makes her look fat. Don't even say, "Only a little."
15. "Honey, you don't need to cry, you know I love big women. There's more to love." When she cries because the scale gave her bad news, don't say this. A woman's body image is very important to her. Find a different way to affirm her with your words and actions.
16. "Is it that time of month?" If she is irritable, never ask her this or you are cruisin' for a bruisin'. It greatly demeans her womanhood.
17. "Did you forget to shave your legs?"
18. "You'd look so sexy in this," Never bring home sexy lingerie to your middle aged, overweight wife and say this, and when she does wear it say, "Hmm, it didn't look that way on the Victoria's Secret Model." This is utterly humiliating.
19. "You look beautiful, honey. How come you don't look that way all the time?" When your wife comes home with a surprise glamour shots photograph for you, or she's dressed to the nines for an elegant banquet for your work, never say this. Do you look like a dashing hunk every day? (Never mind. Don't answer that, Romeo).
20. "Why don't you consider getting breast implants?" This leaves a deep wound in many women.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
— Ephesians 5:25
Give It All You've Got
Hopefully, your wife or girlfriend will the read the article on 20 Things a Wife Should Never Say to Her Husband while you are reading this one. Once the gaga wears off in a marriage things get real. You notice things in your mate that you once found endearing, or that you'd never noticed before and irritate you. And the same is true for her seeing the real you. Loving each other requires both of you to put 100% of yourselves into the marriage (the 50/50 mindset is a recipe for problems). Actions speak louder than feelings and words. This means sacrifice. May you and your honey find many long years of happiness.
- 20 Things Wives Should Never Say to Their Husbands
Is your husband constantly trying to figure you just what exactly you want or our saying? Here are some sure fire intimacy busters.
© 2012 Lori Colbo
Lori Colbo (author) from Pacific Northwest on November 13, 2018:
Hi Steff, I'm glad you lived to tell about it,lol. Thanks for stopping by.
steff klupp on November 13, 2018:
I did all of these
Lori Colbo (author) from Pacific Northwest on December 29, 2014:
Poppyr, smart girl. I was married once and don't plan on doing it again. But in all fairness, women say things to men that are just as bad. That's another hub I wrote.
Poppy from Enoshima, Japan on December 28, 2014:
Men actually say these things to their wives? Yeah, I'm never ever getting married.
Lori Colbo (author) from Pacific Northwest on October 24, 2012:
You are funny stclairjack. I am no longer married either and plan to stay that way unless or until the Lord tells me otherwise. BTW, I think you were married to my ex your first time around. I love living alone with my dog. Since she'll always be a dog, I don't have to try to be the woman she thinks I am.
Stclairjack from middle of freekin nowhere,... the sticks on October 24, 2012:
#'s 20, 18, 16, 13, 8 & 3..... first husband
#'s 3, 5, 6, 9, 10, 11 (hapily sent him on weekend with guys) 12 & 13..... second husband.
not getting married again..... have a long term boyfriend that knows exactly how to say,.. "that was deliscious, your beautiful"... and then he goes home.
Lori Colbo (author) from Pacific Northwest on June 26, 2012:
thank you Margarita. Funny the things we say to the ones we love.
MargaritaEden from Oregon on June 26, 2012:
Lori, these are wonderful and funny! Oh, and so true, I will share this hub.
Paradise7 from Upstate New York on May 26, 2012:
I definitely got a chuckle over this. I imagine all the guys with red faces who can recall making some of these faux pas with their wives!
Lori Colbo (author) from Pacific Northwest on May 26, 2012:
Ha ha pete, you are definitely right. I wouldn't try it. Thanks for stopping by.
Pete from Ontario, Canada on May 26, 2012:
Read somewhere that the answer to the "Does this make me look fat?" question should be, "No, your fat makes you look fat!" I'm thinking that for any guy that said that it might just be last words they ever uttered...lol.
Angela Blair from Central Texas on May 25, 2012:
Lambservant -- not only sage advice but well written and interesting Hub. Definitely voted up! Best/Sis
kat11 from Illinois on May 25, 2012:
Unfortunately men not all men hve trouble with this type of communication. It definitely has some very important points in this hub. Great work! voted up
lambservant on May 25, 2012:
Don't worry LG, Every day God' gives us a new start. He knows your heart and your wife will too when she sees change. Bless you.
William Kovacic from Pleasant Gap, PA on May 25, 2012:
You must be related to Solomon. Those are some of the wisest words I've ever heard. I just wish I had heard them sooner--oh well, better late than never! Now I need to commit them to memory.