Have you ever dated a woman, and thought that this person was perfect? You thought that you hit the jackpot. Beautiful. Strong. Smart. Why is this person still single? The first two months are awesome. Lots of laughs. Spending every possible second together. Silly nicknames and tickle fight. Ahhhh… good times. Slowly though, things start to change. You start to notice little signs that your dream girl is becoming something else. Something a little abnormal. Here are some signs to look for, to determine if your girlfriend is a potential psycho.(Warning, do NOT read these aloud, in front of your girlfriend... This will only accelerate the transformation from "normal" to a full-blown Psycho-Chick)
Yellow Flags: These are the subtle and awkward actions that you notice (usually in the beginning) , but sometimes ignore… because the girl is really cute or you believe that these things will eventually get better.
Jealousy: Ok, obviously a little jealousy in relationships is healthy. Right? But, you have to carefully gauge your jealous partner. There is a thin line between healthy jealousy and vehicular manslaughter.
Gives you a fake name, or age: Let be honest, a lot of normal women give out fake names. I get it. This behavior gets a flag because of the deception involved. I mean, if you meet a nice lady in a nightclub or bar and you talk for five minutes, and she tells you that her name is Lady Gaga, then for all rhyme and reason her name can be Lady Gaga. But, if you go on more than two dates with this person and she is still calling herself Lady Gaga, then you might wanna check her ID. You don't wanna be the last one to find out your new girlfriends real name. It just looks bad.
Owns multiple cats: This one is HUGE, because more than one cat in any household is kinda creepy, even when the house is filled with kids. But, to come to a woman's apartment, and find out that she has more than one cat and, according to her they "act like people, and have very different personalities" is bizarre at best. This behavior is increased to red, if the number of cats exceeds 5. (Other animals of concern are, ferrets, bunnies, and sugar-gliders)
Accuses you of sleeping with women that are completely out of your league: This is tricky, because this always starts out as a game or teasing. Be careful though. It's all fun and games until the psycho stops laughing. All of a sudden your being accused of sleeping with everyone from Tinkerbell to Michelle Obama. Be careful with this one, or you might find yourself in a conversation like this:
"Why are you always listening to Beyonce?" Says PsychoChick666
"Because I like Beyonce." Says Dotcom3728
"Hmmmm…" says PsychoChick666
"What's wrong?" says Dotcom3728
"Are you sleeping with Beyonce?" Says PsychoChick666
"Definitely not." Says Dotcom3728
She still thinks that the Lorena Bobbitt incident was funny: Now, we all laughed when we heard the story about the young lady who had enough of her abusive husband, and decided that she was gonna leave him, but before she left, she decided to cut off his "junk" and threw it out of her car window. Luckily police found it on the side of the highway, and doctors stitched it back on. This story was so bizarre that it had to be funny. After the laughs and the jokes stopped most people saw the EXTREME brutality that went into this crime. The psycho girlfriend is still laughing at this incident, and she may have playfully mentioned WHAT SHE WOULD HAVE DONE, if she were Lorena Bobbitt. Be very careful with this one, and sleep on your stomach.
Gets annoyed by the sound of your laugh: Have you been out with a bunch of friends, and you bring this potential psycho with you. You and the guys are having a few drinks, followed by a few laughs. You are enjoying yourself, and then mid-laugh you look over at PsychoChick and she is looking directly at you with a scowl that could melt ice. You ask her what is wrong, but she can't say "your laughing pisses me off." So, she makes up an excuse like, "The music is too loud, or I have a headache." Night over. Operation "Fun" has been cancelled.
Orange Flags: These warning signs are a little bit more intense, but are still dancing on the line of sanity
She hates all of your friends: This is a kinda touchy area, because sometimes our friends are a little brass, or awkward… and what self respecting woman wants to spend her Saturday nights hanging with guys who fart and belch all night. The problem with the psycho chick is… she hates ANYONE that you like. She hates your friends. Your family. Your dog. And, even your imaginary friend Paco who you haven't talked to since you were six years old.
She wants to know where you are all the time. Now, there is nothing wrong with knowing your partner's schedule. Everyone knows what time their partner goes to work, and what time they get off. We all have a pretty good idea where are lovers are. But, the Psycho chick takes this to the next level. Like she wants to know why it took you eight minutes to get home from work, when it usually only takes you four.
Cyber Stalks you: Breaking into your email, and Facebook accounts. Going through your cellphone's call history, voicemail, and text messages. They will use excuses like, "If you have nothing to hide, then it doesn't matter." If only this were true, but when you are dealing with a psycho-chick, everything is suspicious.
"Ummm… why did you call your mom, like five times last week?" says PsychoChick, while going through your cellphone
"Because she is my mom, and I love her." says Dotcom3728
"That's sick. I'm deleting her number. You guys talk too much." says PsychoChick
"Why would you do that?"says Dotcom3728
"I'm doing you a favor, Momma's Boy." Says Psycho-chick
Her favorite movie is Monster. OK. I know Monster is a great movie, and Charlize Theron plays the role to perfection. BUT, the psycho-chick is NOT watching this movie… the psycho-chick is LIVING this movie. I compare this to when a six year old watches SUPERMAN for the first time. Do you REALLY wanna spend the rest of your life with someone who's favorite movie is about a serial killing, prostitute, who spent her last days on Death Row? Me either.
Gets mad at you because she had a dream that you were unfaithful. This one is funny, until you actually find yourself in this situation. I believe that most people have dreams, and in these dreams, crazy things happen. In one of my craziest dreams, I was in the jungle, riding a white unicorn, wearing nothing but a football helmet and ankle socks. Like most people, I understand that this was a dream, and unicorns don't exist in nature. But, when PsychoChick has a dream, she see's it as a premonition. A sign that you are either thinking about cheating, or you are currently involved with someone else.
(PsychoChick wakes up screaming at 4:20am)
"What's wrong?" says Dotcom3728
(PsychoChick stares at Dotcom3728)
"Well, I had a dream that you were CHEATING on me with Beyonce. This is the third time this week, so it MUST be true." says PsychoChick.
"Definitely not" says Dotcom3728
"Liar." says PsychoChick
Red Flags: At this point, your pretty sure that your dealing with an unusual individual. Red Flags are unmistakable signs that you may be dating a true psycho.
Slashes your tires in the worst possible location: If your dealing with a true psycho, at some point she is gonna feel the need to slash your tires. It's a psycho thing. It's like when a snake feels the need to shed is skin in the summer. A normal chick will simply slash your tires in your driveway, and run away… but NOT the psycho chick. Psycho-chick will wait until you are in the world's worst neighborhood, or as far way from home as you could possibly be. Then she will strike. Also, psycho chick makes it a point to slash all four tires… and the spare.
Call your job and your immediate family just to tell them that you suck: This usually comes right after one of the many break-ups that you will have with the potential psycho chick. She will feel the need to damage your reputation, by going on a 15 minute rant to your Boss, about how you can't be trusted to work at McDonald's because your secretly having an affair with Beyonce. Needless to say, this action damages her own reputation more than it does yours.
Destroys most prized possession: Ok, everyone knows that men have a lot of material or prized possessions. Men love large and expensive electronics. Cars. Rare collectibles. And, psycho chick understands and keeps a record of all the possession that give you joy. It could be something as simple as the blanket that your sweet old grandma knitted for you when you were a baby. Nothing is safe. When the psycho chick reaches her boiling point, make sure anything that you can't live without is safely packed away in a storage shed. Psycho chick knows that you don't care about your 120 blu ray collection, so she destroys your Derek Jeter Autographed baseball, while you are at work.
Stabbed, or injured a previous boyfriend: Ummmmm… history often repeats itself. Music. Fashion. Psycho's stabbing their boyfriends. If at any time during any conversation, a woman tells you that she has stabbed a previous lover… just stand up and walk out immediately. This flag is SO red, that it should be maroon, or burgundy. They will always justify the action by claiming that the last boyfriend deserved to be stabbed. I will even go as far to say, that if your girlfriend has ever stabbed ANYONE, (friends, family, strangers) then this should be a red flag.
5+ voice mails, 10+ missed calls, 20+ unreplied text messages: This is called the 5-10-20 rule, and it goes like this. If you receive 20 unanswered text messages, 10 missed calls, or 5 voicemails from psycho chick then you understand how her mind works. Instead of calling and leaving one message, and or a text message... she frantically calls over and over again until you answer… each time becoming more and more upset.
Voicemaill #1: "Hey Babe, pick up some toilet paper on the way home. Love you."
Voicemail #2 "Hellooooooooo??"
Voicemail #3 "Why do you have a phone, if your not gonna answer it?"
Voicemail #4 "Hey Stupid. Toilet Paper."
Voicemail #5 "What the %$!*%$&@^#!!!??"
Puts a brick through your windshield while you're inside the car: Is this really a warning sign? The second someone picks up a brick, and hurls its through glass... All psycho suspicion is confirmed. This is a no brainer.... and I'm sure that by the time you reach this level, you have already filed all the necessary paper work for legal break-up. Putting a brick through someones windshield is one of the most psychotic things you can do. Especially if the other person is sitting in the car, scarred for their life. This is another one of those flags where, i hope the breakup ball is already rolling, because this situation is gonna get a lot worse before it gets any better. And your car insurance is NOT going to cover brick damage.
Dannnnny on June 24, 2018:
Princess from PH on September 05, 2017:
that woman must be crazy!
Barbara on March 01, 2017:
You got most of that stuff pretty on track I am a psycho chick I have burnt a exes bed I blew up a car I am insanely jealous and I have a house full of cats I do not get into relationships anymore because I know that relationships are dangerous for me and for the other person I was diagnosed with manic depression psychotic features dissociate disorder so I agree now if I date anyone I don't make it a relationship and I give them fair enough warning that I cannot be in a relationship what is oh I agree with you LOL it's good to know when you get in touch with your own psycho inside LOL
cman on July 19, 2015:
My girlfriend of 7 years does about 8 of these sings we have 2 kids together and I know she can not raise the kids the right way so I am stuck with her for my kids sake and it is horrible I don't ask her to work or anything and everyday she gets worse and worse I mean it's bad when I guy can't wait to go to work just so I can get away from the crazy for a few hours
Riley on June 10, 2015:
My gf wants to kill all of my ex girlfriends
M.J. on August 15, 2014:
Needed this; dealing with the aftermath of a psycho.
Thank you, you sweet, sweet, soul.
The Ultimate Psycho Girl on May 24, 2014:
Sorry guys, I'm really trying not to spam up a bunch of websites, but I am trying to console my buddy via blogs like this about psycho girls in order to let him know that he is not alone. Also to keep unwary men from making his mistake and going for a complete psycho, he just posted this thing about this completely insane girl he was with on the site "Dating Psychos": http://www.datingpsychos.com/psycho/18621/. The girl's name is Jessica, and you can find her on other sites posted by other guys, such as in the Dirty as the Avon Lake Sloot: http://thedirty.com/2013/12/avon-lake-sloot/ and in My Ex: http://www.myex.com/ohio/avon-lake/jessica-jess-wi...
This girl is a criminal, a druggie, a drunkard, and will go completely PSYCHO on you if you try to leave her. Seriously guys, I am posting this for my friend because that is how strongly I believe that this needs to be heard. Give this some attention and hopefully she won't try to run you over with her dad's car or show up trying to break into your room in the middle of the night at her house "to talk" because you tried to end things with her! Of course, if you don't live in Ohio, this is likely to not happen anyway since you *hopefully* won't meet this terrible woman. But still, please keep the male population away from dating crusty hos like this, and guide them to focusing on the REAL women of the world by letting them all know of strung-out chicks like Jess.
tony tone on April 04, 2014:
just make sure she doesn't boil your pet rabbit.
Jules Verne on February 06, 2014:
I've unfortunately dated men that fall under this profile as well. I'm not going to date for a while…. lol
Dotcom3728 (author) from Danbury, CT 06810 on January 04, 2014:
I appreciate the comment. This article was not meant to be a medical diagnosis, but more of a tongue and cheek blog about relationships. I feel that there has to be a difference between, Feminine Emotional Energy and a complete mental break from reality. I'm assuming all women have Feminine Emotional Energy... but not all women are psychos. Thanks for the feedback, though.
andrewwilcox on January 03, 2014:
This article expresses the fear that a relationship will start out wonderful and then turn crazy. Which is a reasonable fear to have.
However, the *diagnosis* is that the reason *why* the relationship went crazy was because *she* was crazy, a psycho. And the article goes on to express the rather desperate solution that if a guy is vigilant enough, if he's watchful enough for the right warning signs, he can dump her quickly before things get too bad.
All of which is unnecessary.
You can learn how to handle her feminine emotional energy. You can learn how to keep the relationship on an even keel instead of having it spiral out of control. You can learn how to keep the jackpot, instead of having to get rid of it.
Of course, you can choose to label her behavior as "crazy", to call her a "psycho", if you want to. You can choose to dump her when you don't know what to do. That's up to you... but doing that won't let you keep the jackpot.
Does that mean that if the relationship spirals out of control, it's OK for her to slash your tires? Of course not. But *you* can also keep it from *getting* to that point, if you want to.
To learn how, check out the work of relationship coach Michelle Terrell: http://theattractionstudio.com/drama-mamas-unlock-...
agh on December 01, 2013:
feeling embarrassed this is why none of my dates wanted to take me out. i was insecure, couldn't take a step away from my date, should've listened to parents about waiting till im secured first before stepping in so soon. now the guys think im physico well i think their physico their not understanding me :). It was fair enough last time a guy played me so it was fair i played him back
I live in a Lombard st neighborhood. so i told him to meet me at the furtest lombard hill just so he can cuddle me lol and then we met at school he ways always late when we kept meeting the first three weeks.so then i played him back etc so it was fair he played me i played him i thought it was funny . lol then one time when he was cuddling on my i just kept cuddling him pushing tightly till it hurts his arms hahahha and then i slapped him then i left byebye~~~~~ well fair enough we both got played by each other end of friends with benefit wasn't even a friends with benefit we just felt like touching each other. we both liked each other at first later we found out were not interested in each other.