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12 Signs of an Unhappy Marriage

Anamika S. Jain has been a social media consultant for six years. She has written more than 200 articles on relationships and dating.

How to know if a Marriage is miserable and failing?

Not all marriages are made in heaven. A marriage in order to be a happy one takes a considerable amount of work. There are many signs to an unhappy marriage.

I am giving below some signs to know if a marriage is failing. If either or any of the partners is behaving in such a manner then the chances are that it is an unhappy and miserable marriage.

Unhappy Marriage Signs

Unhappy Marriage Signs

12 Unhappy Marriage Signs

  1. Frequent Arguments and Disrespect: If there are frequent disagreements between the husband and wife it is a definite sign that all is not well in the marriage. Abusive behavior and disrespect is another sign of an unhappy marriage. Some couples even resort to constant name calling, hurtful or vulgar behavior and bringing up issues that will purposely hurt the other person. Some not only curse each other they even throw objects at each other or get violent with each other. This can also be devastating for children of the unhappy couple if any.
  2. Lack of Communication: If either or one partner has stopped communicating like he or she used to earlier that is a sure sign of unhappiness in marriage. While some couples choose to get into arguments or verbal lashing some couples stop communicating and keep a distance with each other. They stop sharing their thoughts and feelings with each other and stop consulting each other about home or personal issues. Couples in unhappy marriages often busy themselves with distractions to avoid the real issues.
  3. Lies or keeping Secrets from one another: When the Marriage is on rocks many couples become too secretive about their activities. For instance if the spouse leaves the room frequently for private phone conversations or switch of the phone suddenly when the partner appears in front of them it is a sign to be beware. A happy couple often talks about their plans for the future. One of the signs of an unhappy marriage is that the spouse no longer shares hopes and dreams of future with you.
  4. Not Spending time with you: If your spouse suddenly has started to spend more time with friends regularly than they spend time with you it is a sign of troubles in your relationship. Your spouse may even find excuses to stay at work late just to avoid being with you. Frequent trips made by one party or both, extended working hours, more time spent separately with friends and general avoidance of the other party can all be signs of an unhappy marriage. If the Spouse suddenly develops new hobbies and prefers to spend time alone without your company it is one of the signs that your marriage is in trouble. Such a person may also display Escapism.
  5. Lack of Intimacy and Affection: If either of the parties do not display signs of love or affection like hugs, kiss or compliments then the marriage has lost its spark. Many times the spouse may also indulge in comparing you with others or praising others in front of you. Many times even the hand holding is gone, the pats on the back are absent and they usually won’t be sleeping in the same bed also. Lack of intimacy is one of the most common indicators of lack of emotional connection. Though the honeymoon phase may not last forever a total disinterest or lack of intimacy with spouse may be a sign of marital discontent.
  6. Drinking or Drug usage: Some people tend to think they can drown their problems by drinking or using drugs. If such a habit has started suddenly that may be a sign of an unhappy marriage.
  7. Partner Infidelity : Adultery or Partner Infidelity is a clear sign that the marriage is an unhappy one. When such a thing happens it is very hard to recover from an affair because once trust is gone it does not come back fast. There are instances when the marriage is under false pretenses (like the husband is not a Gay when he is one). A cheating husband or wife is a clear indication of an unhappy marriage.Sometimes one may make a sudden change in appearance or be secretive of their phone calls and may indulge in huge credit card spending when they are cheating on their spouses apart from spending time away from home.
  8. Body language: The Body language between the husband and wife can also point if the marriage is a happy or unhappy one. Bad body language and behavior between spouses can be indication of an unhappy marriage.
  9. Selfishness and not caring for the needs of the Spouse: When marriage is unhappy it will appear that one spouse will be unselfish with his or her feelings. He or she will not care that their activities bother the other person or care for the other persons needs.
  10. Depression and Loneliness: If any of the partners is suffering from any form of depression or is exhibiting signs of depression is clear that he or she is unhappy. He or she will get even unhappy with the marriage if they feel alone in this suffering.Some may even have stronger feelings of regret regarding a choice of partner. Many may lose or put weight in such a condition because they either eat more or eat less.
  11. Falling out of Love or having unrealistic Expectations: Many enter into marriage with unrealistic expectations and when they do not get fulfilled the marriage becomes an unhappy one. There are also instances where the couple who was in love fall out of love and lose interest in the spouse.
  12. Other Issues: Sometimes other issues also can lead to unhappiness in marriage like monetary troubles or work pressures. There can also be problems from in laws or children.

In order to make a marriage succeed both husband and wife should stay emotionally connected and work towards building trust and love in the relationship. Have I missed anything? Please feel free to add through Comments.


More Hubs on Marriage


iguidenetwork from Austin, TX on October 07, 2013:

I love being married. So far we only have had some misunderstandings, I think they are part of a healthy marriage. No such things as infidelity, none like that. Had we both see those other signs (and I do hope not), we would rush to solve this immediately. Thanks for your insightful article.

mathira from chennai on July 11, 2013:

A thoughtful hub Anamika, very relevant to today's marriage. Most couples I am sure would have experienced what your have written. If only couples understand that they married out of love and not to fight, marriages be worthwhile.

luna87 on January 09, 2013:

Thanks so much for this article. I am at the end of the line in my marriage. There is no hope. I realized that the marriage needed to end when I started acting out on my loneliness and had a brief affair. Why did my husband have to let things get this far? I only needed to know that he still loved me and wanted me. Why couldn't he understand this?

jgray7713 on September 20, 2012:

I was once in a very unhappy marriage & from the start it was obvious that I was the only one putting in any effort. It actually took going through the worst time of my life to wake up & get out. One of our children was very sick for a year & a half straight while my ex-husband sat back & did nothing to help out through majority of his ill-ness. At the time I couldn't understand for the life of me how a father & husband could tune is his own wife & children out. I could understand if he just had issues with me, but to neglect your kids as well & mind you had an affair going on at the same time. That's what did it for me. I knew then that he had no heart and I later found out through his theparist that my ex-husband is a Narcissist.

For anyone dealing with these types of people please know that there is no changing them. They don't care about anyone, but themselves & do not know how to relate to other people's feelings.

I would have to say it's really sad to see so many people suffering in relationships not knowing how to get out. I've came to realize that finding true love is very rare & a lot of us just don't want to be alone long enough to wait for the one to come along. When you do find it though, you'll know because both people will want to put 100% into the relationship. You won't have to threaten your partner for he or she to change. Just an FYI threats don't work anyway. If anything it will force your partner to temporarily put on an act just to keep you, then once things have settled down you'll see them switch back to there normal selves (Narcissists are great at this).

And one last thing... you would be surprised at the number of people who can fake an entire relationship and/or marriage. It seems so psychotic to me, but unfortunately it happens a lot.

msglr on September 01, 2012:

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married 26 years and I have had ENOUGH. He only cares about his own needs. Case in point: My car battery dies while Im at the grocery store. I call and ask him for a ride because I have a lot of groceries or I would just walk. He said to just walk because he is too busy and cant come jump start my car. So I walked 4 miles carrying 4 heavy bags of groceries, wearing strappy flat sandals, in the heat. I get home and five mins later he is flying in the door screaming at me then he picks up the vacuum and throws it at me breaking it then says its my fault its broken.. He says Im a selfish lazy b*tch because I don't have the right to complain about anything since Im a housewife and I don't have to "go" to work.

Unhappy21 on August 26, 2012:

Married for 21 yrs,stuck by him because "I" loved him. Never felt the same from him,not even the word came out of his mouth this whole time. I'm exausted of being the glue for this marriage and he's abliss to it all.His love is his family,mom.sis,bro's. You will see him glow in their presence.All the while me and my teen daughter's watch. I don't understand how could you love so much and not bring it home to your wife and daugther's that would do anything for a hug and an "I LOVE YOU" .This marriage has definatly been over for years.I've been to dumb to have stayed so long!

kks7 on August 25, 2012:

The unfortunate thing in my life is that i see 10 traits out of 12 mentioned in this article within my marriage. i met a girl in a friends wedding and started going out.. we liked each other a lot initially but then the problem started after 3 months..

1st - pressured me to get married otherwise she is not going to stick around... these sort of words were warning signals.. what did i do.. got engaged to her.. i did not have much money so explained to my wife.. i do want to get married one day and also engaged to u but can not offord it... her answer - don't worry - ring is not so important ! warning sign when girl say that.... guess what now she keeps telling my friends that i did not even bother to give her ring for the engagement!

2nd problem - after a month of engagement; she was pregnant! i was surprised and bit shocked to find this as nothing was planned and was not married yet - on my showing a bit of surprise - she spat on me! till today she tells me i never wanted a child anyway and criticise me all the time

3rd problem - her and her family extremely secretive, abusive to me and my family ...

4th problem - physical abuse - she throws objects on me while i m sleeping and argues with me late nights when she knows i have important work to do next day...

absolutely hate myself and my decisions i made ... cant do anything as i do have a beautiful child and i love her!

taminie on August 12, 2012:

i myself am in an unhappy marriage. i feel so alone and sad. we used to be so happy but then everything i do seem to be a problem with him. i also have grown to dislike his parents because as i got to know them they seem to be using him and he doesn't seem to know and when i try to talk to him about it he always get angry. now i just wish if i had never married him

Mary138 on July 16, 2012:

I found out that my husband cheated on me 11 years ago. He had a love affair for 3 years. It started when my daughter turned one. I was so happy to have his child and him. I did not know that he was unhappy with me. I forgave him and thought he put a stop to his womanizing. This year I found out that he many more affairs. After his first affair he turned to prostitutes. After that he found a woman running an ad in The Phoenix newspaper. Their relationship lasted 5 years. Oh yes he had others as well.Then we bought a retirement house in FL and he moved down alone and left me to support 3 kids back in MA. I had no job and no money. But I did get a job and things worked out. I learned about all the other women just a few months ago. The last woman he had sex with was the FL cleaning lady. The others did not know he was married, but the cleaning lady knew me. This man told me that he would not stop seeing her if he remained alone in FL. Last year I was diagnosed with Leiomyosarcoma - terminal cancer with survival of 3 years. And this husband tells his dying wife that he refuses to stop having sex with the housekeeper. If he was so unhappy in our marriage then he should have asked for a divorce. But this man wants a wife, a family, a mistress, and girlfriends on the side. Everyone tells me not to divorce him since I have a few years left. I want to divorce him to let him know that even a dying woman doesn't want him. I am better off without him. I am too good for him!

blondbaby1012 on July 09, 2012:

wow! I am not shocked by reading these and seeing that I am acting out all 12 of those signs. I have been married 6 years to my high school sweet heart. we got married at 22 and right away had a baby and two years later twins. We have had a miserable marriage. I haven't felt loved at all. and had in my mind an emotionaly abusive relationship. Well my love for him has slowly dwindled down to absolutly NONE! I want out so bad and I decided a month ago that the next time he did something abusive or violent i was leaving. Well, he did something two weeks ago and ended up having to go to the hospital because he got so upset he passed out and hit his head. He has ever since then been a different person and i mean 100% different in a good way. Trying soo hard to fix things and i am so 100% done. I want a divorce so bad because I don't love him anymore I have been hurt too much. He is begging me to stay and as of right now I am but I am so depressed and cry everyday. Even though he is being so sweet to me. I don't love him at all. I don't know what to do. I think i need to see a counselor but I know they cant help me make a decision. Has anyone ever been where I am? What should I do? Oh and I decided today that if on September 9th (2 months from now) Im still not happy Im divorcing him. I just don't know what to do.

gigi43 on July 05, 2012:

Met my husband when I was 13. We started seriously dating when I was 18 and broke up after living together when I was 28. We stayed apart 12 years and I raised the kids. We got back together - thought we were soulmates almost 4 years ago and have been married for almost 3 years. I moved back to our hometown and I hate it. You can't go home again and we don't have sex; don't sleep in the same room. We didn't even have sex on our honeymoon. I'm tired. Now our daughter has moved back home to finish school. I feel trapped. I make more money than he does and he's a momma boy. Right now I do not feel guilty about looking for a house or asking my job to transfer me back where I was. I've gained 40+ pounds and I'm miserable. Sad thing his mind he really loves me. He buys me things or wants to go out..usually to eat - which I don't need. Most of my things are in storage cuz he won't share his house.

Debbie on June 07, 2012:

My marriage is has been very hard over the last 12 months after discovering my husbands 6 month affair, most times I feel I could end the marriage but keep battling on for the kids sake as they've been through enough and love there dad, I do too and he shows me remorse every day and very loving, it's hard to forgive at the moment but do hope to get there in the future.

Catrina on June 05, 2012:

All of this sounds oh so familiar. I am such a big dummy-- as my mother would say... I basically knew just how dysfunctional we were and still are, yeeaaars ago. But just for the sake of being financially stable and havinfg a husband I guess answered all my needs at the time. And I happy? Sometimes... but more lonely and depressed more so. Is it all worth it? Not at all. You just never know when you may lash out and completely lose your cool. Is he cheating? He is a liar on a daily basis which makes it very difficult to even tell. Can I have better? Heck to the freakin' yeah! But at this point, I am stuck until my ends are straight enough to be on my own. I wish we didn't have a child together or she was old enough for me to just up and leave... She's in high school now so I don't have that much longer to go is how I look at it. :))

Kathy on May 31, 2012:

I got married 6 months back and were in relationship from last 7 years !!

We both love each other but I feel that spark and care from his side is lost somewhere... He just shows his love for the sake of it. he has stopped understanding me, he doesn't spend much of quality time with me...

His job is such that most of the time he is travelling and gets really tiered because of this may be he is unable to make a balance in job n life.

Now Most of the time we are fighting, complaining about each other.

My family and his family is totally opposite. I am facing hard time in understanding his family and adjusting/compromising according to them.

I am a very emotional and demanding person. I cant hide my feelings whether it is anger or love. My Inlaws and My Husband most of the time do not meet up my expectations.

My husband also tries hard to make the family understand to change a bit but his own behavior is bothering me and whenever i try to make him understand he just shouts at me and tries to prove me wrong.

I feel I am always Misunderstood, unheard, disappointed and in conflict...

Please help me...

I cant afford to spoil my relation further...

Marie on May 27, 2012:

I've been married to my husband for four and a half years. After we got married he started devoting all his time and effort to his job and his graduate school. Now, there is no affection from him whatsoever $6. We don't make love, we don't kiss, we don't hug, nothing. This is not my choice. I have begged and pleaded for affection from him and he distances himself farther and farther. We don't even sleep in the same room anymore.

Maya on May 22, 2012:

Please to all husbands, please do love your wife and care them, spent time with her, often go to your own world, discuss everything with her. Please phone her when you are away from her and stay with her. This what is all wife's dream and wish. I got married last month. I never got this until now. So tell me how can I be happy? My hus is staying in another room and not even sharing anything. So frustrated life...

Sadness on April 29, 2012:

Married a year and a half... His past is his present and always. It makes me sick. I've lost 3 babies nd over 20 lbs due to depression. Frankly my surroundings make me sick, the weird sexuality of his friends and constant family interference make me uncomfortable. I feel like a rat in a cage watching pink elephants run amok while all of them have tea. It's much deeper than this, but I betterbe vague or sorry, because I have not worked out my escape plan yet...

sheena2012 on April 24, 2012:

im the luckiest of them all coz i have all of your problems but what can I do? Divorce is not yet allowed in the Philippines so I just learned to life my life as it is...thanks for some friends!

Tini63 on April 08, 2012:

My hubby and I have been together for 8 years marrie for 6.. We have 2 kids.. Our first child born when I was 17.. My kids are my world, I may have screwed up and had them early but that doesn't change how I feel for them.. I think because I was a teen mom I worked so hard to defend my reputation.. I dreamt of the perfect situation baby's daddy around a marriage and living on a cloud.. When I look back I didn't do any of these things for love for my husband.. I is it for reputation.. My husband helps with very little around the house we both work 50 hr weeks but when we come home he plunks on the couch and I am stuck cooking, cleaning, doing homework with the kids, playing with the kids bathing and bedtime.. Everything!! We argue all the time in front of the kids and have barely any sex or emotion towards each other.. My problem is leaving and having nothing but wart broken kids.. I have nowhere to go.. It's scary when this life is all I know.. I don't want to disappoint my family and friends, or my kids.. I ask my self every day does my happiness matter? And as of right now.. I live sad and lonely to keep my kids happy.. HELP :(

iris on April 05, 2012:

hello everyone,im iris 34 yrs of age n been married for 19 husband is a lot older hes going on 48...we have 4 kids together...we both work n its getting to be thinking of divorce...ive been unhappy for awhile now...the issue here is that i still enjoy doing spontanious stuff which for him he likes to be on the couch...even on weekends he doesn't wanna go sex for 6 months now...when i kiss him is on his i just don't feel like i used too...many people say its because i married young..which i disagree i see a lot of couple still doing stuff after all the yrs they been together...i tolerated because we lost a son together n don't want to hurt him by leaving...just don't know what to do..just very unhappy n confused..8(

jessica on March 09, 2012:

I haven marry for 11 yrs & we have 4 children.He was the only men have beign with .I though an older men was going to trear me better but I was wrong.Even though he was 13 yrs older than me but instead he was constanly screaming at me & calling me names.nothing was never good enough for him all the time .He cheated on me & call me names when i got pregnant.He hated me because he hates pregnanr women.He call me a fat cow all the time.When I treathen to leave he would cry & beg me to stay.then he would change for few months & start the abuse all over.he says marriges supposed to be like this.I got tired of this situation & left.this is his 2 nd divorce.Iam happy beighn a single mom.My marrige was soo abusive that iam not planning to get marry again that's for sure.

ribiribi on February 20, 2012:

i met my boyfriend two months ago,He is having a 15 year old child from previous relationship,i don't feel comfortable about the child,i really wanted him to stop conversation because is frustrating me,sometimes i feel like devorcing the man because is hectic

jjrey on February 14, 2012:

I have been married for 1 1/2 and has been rocky since we started dating 4 years ago. Why did I still get married with him? I don't know. I guess I love him and thought things would change. He is a great Father to our 2 children but a lousy husband. He is not affectionate attentive nor communicative. I am always last for everything. I have tried telling him to be more affectionate but he tells me that that's the way he always been and always will. Now I don't know if he loves me. I sure can't tell. Even when we have sex he treats me like a whore. Which at first was fun and exciting but now I feel like theres no more love making. He also has a bad temper and I feel like I am walking on egg shells. He is a great man when he wants to. But he rarely does. I don't know what to do? Should I even consider counseling?

Fairy tale on January 31, 2012:

I am on my second marriage. I met a wonderful gentle man. Everything seemed perfect until we wed 5 months ago. Sex was awesome even though he treated me like a roommate. I enjoyed him. I thought I could deal with it all until he borrowed money from my paycheck, $200. He said he would give it back but didn't. I make minimum wage and he makes $26 an hour. He doesn't help with any of my expenses, so if I don't have money for food I don't eat. He says he loves me, how can this be? I am very sad and somewhat stuck in this until I can save up to get out.

daisy on January 28, 2012:

sorry to hear that lou after 10 year she should had been better to you but some people really don't care about other people feeling, so their start acting like fools and then wonder why they are alone. don't beat ur self up for it. if you really want it to work then u need to tell her how you feel about it, and if she don't care and starts to fight then she really don't desire you.

linda on December 28, 2011:

I am not happy in this marriage at all. I lost my job because of my husband and his affair.I"ve come to where I hate him and can't stand looking at him, I caught him cheating, bring his woman to my home I worked 3 jobs to get,my dream home.Then he has the nerve to tell me I am blowing it out of proportion. Now I"m unemployed and can't afford to get out, which makes me hate him more. He acts like nothing ever happened. Life sucks!!!

Hopeless on December 24, 2011:

Totally regret marriage and kids. Just simply don't like being married. Sick of it. Did the right thing and stayed for 20 years but totally regret it. Ive been both single and married', single wins hands down. Have absolutely no desire to "work on marriage". When marriage requires work, its because it sux. Divorce for a hard working male is a nightmare !!! They get your f@&$)&g pension, house, child support, legal bills paid and alimony. If your a single and successful male don't ever ever ever even consider getting married, you can only lose. The courts absolutely favor the female in all venues, all jurisdictions and in just about all settlements. Marriage should require lawyers to enter. Hope all you young guys do your homework and find out the truth regarding the legal ramifacations of entering a marriage with a pre cana instead of a legal cosult. Its just a total shit deal.

Asanda on November 30, 2011:

My husband sisters husband doesn't like me. she is the only sister he have. when there is misunderstanding between me and my husband she always sympathise with her brother.

Louie on November 24, 2011:

Every point you make is correct. I am on the rocks and don't know what to do. You see I took my wife back after 10 years on my own and then 10 years with a lover who succumbed to alzheimers disease. I took my first wife back no questions asked. That was a mistake! It seemed sexy at first but I soon learned that she is the same dropout as she was the first time we split.

daisy on October 26, 2011:

my love plays games and stays on the computer while i clean cook and take care of the kids. ya some time it pisses me too! hate being a slave also, but really cant say much about him relaxing, when i met him, he was doing all the things i can,t stand now. but don't for get we get lazy too when it come to sex. lol! it like making him pay but the true is we both work the same way. him at the job and me at home so really it not as bad as you thing just got to take it one day at a time a learn to work together. love my hubby

daisy on October 18, 2011:

you can be happy and be full fill, you and ur parten has to remember what was it u like of each other and remember why was it u fell in love with each other in the first place. every thing else fall easy when you open up and comunacat with each other. always listen to each other ideas, stress, problem never shut each other down. even if u don't care! because real love never dies it just keep growing and so does the trust. p.s in order to give love u must love yr self first and be happy.

Unhappy husband on October 08, 2011:

In an effort to address some balance on this forum, it's not just women that can have an unhappy marriage. I have been married for 4 years and together with my wife for 7 years.

I feel that I have always been honest, tried hard and given as much as I can, however I will be the first to admit I have switched off in the last 6 months or so.

My wife has (in my opinion) developed extremely high expectations of our marriage, what it should be like, how I should behave, and what I am allowed to do of not do with anyone outside of our marriage.

Women can quickly change too!

I have seen a side to her in the last 6-12 months I do not like. Nothing is good enough anymore, and she constantly tells me I am a selfish man....

I haven't changed, I am the same person, with the sane friends, job, and life I've always had in the time we've been together.

I just wonder if anyone is ever really truly happy in marriage.

Maybe as humans were just not designed to be together forever, emotionally, physically or spiritually!

Anon32 on October 05, 2011:

Pretty much sums up my marriage, which isn't much of a marriage. Consists of me being the slave while he plays video games all day. My advise, don't do it!

daisy on September 20, 2011:

so true i am 30 been with my hubby for 16 years and the connection is gone. he rather drink and work help other and forget that we are support to help each other and love each other, sex is wack he change and i am tired of the bull.

Rick on August 31, 2011:

There are a lot of true statements in this article. The professional I talk to says a majority of marriage failures starts in the bedroom.

mostafa on August 30, 2011:

one point missing is level of education means understanding between couples plus respect each others if there any unbalance in those points may be come unhappy marriage

J on August 22, 2011:

My husband and I r all the above except he works hard at being a wonderful husband - it's me I am sexually soooo u happy! I never had sex issues, but with him yes I do! He is just so selfish he rather just sleeps with me whe. I am asleep then have real intimacy! Let's just say he sucks and I have to admit ( I am ashamed for this) I am into this guy and I am afraid if the situation would arise that I would for sure sleep with him! It's stressing me out! I was sexually abused as a child and yes I know I should talk about it with him but I am seriously ashamed I feel guilty and just aweful about myself! Everyone always writes how selfish cheating is and to be honest and if I don't want to be married I should get out- well it's NOT that simple- I depend on him I depend on his money we hav animals I can't live without and we hav property! I am so stressed out about this because I feel so much shame.. People are so cruel and have no idea what it feels lik being in this situation! I don't even want to be around him anymore he is so annoying and clingy, he is quiet a bit older. Than I am like 14 years and even though I said the vows that day I knew I had made a mistake! He is not mean to me does anything for me but I am still not happy ... Am I at fault? Am I the problem? I have talked to him but he just wants to hear that everything will be ok! What am I supposed to do all he says is he loves me so much and that he would do anything for me yet actions are missing... Could you help me figure this out because I feel very alone

jacob on July 25, 2011:

i want the best for my marriage but im just finding out that my wife is truly unappy shes done everything uve stated and i don't want to be the person that makes her miserable its making me unhappy

Deepak on July 16, 2011:

i m not happy my wife i have a baby my wife is only 6th class passed what can i do pls help me deepak keswani

love_or_not on July 06, 2011:

What to do? I love my husband but he has been actting so different .We fight a lot over stupid stuff and he doesn't do anything for his self anymore Its not that he can't its just he won't..I didn't marry him to be used like this..What can I do ?

Sarah on July 03, 2011:

My husband & his family hide so many things before our marriage. I can't accept this & feel bad. I don't know what to do. My husband is otherwise ok but he never says sorry to me or never thinks that they lie to me about cv and some other important issue.

Alem Belton from New York on May 28, 2011:

You write a lot about the difficulties of marriage. What's that all about?

Maria Canto on May 26, 2011:

35 years to a control freak i want out badly. Emointless i rate our sex life as a 3 as long as he gets 2 minutes of satifacation

val on March 04, 2011:

Mary it was NOT your fault. It was HIS fault. I should know, I never had children but it never stoppped my ex-husband from 'nicking about' down the pub with 'other women'.I was only married 3.5 years. After 17.5 years and HIS £8,000 of debt later I had enough. I got my own place and tossed him out.

He did not know he was born, being married to me. I was a real good wife. He had it all, a wife that worked , a real good job and a bought flat in a real nice area. He married some low life dame and now lives in the gutter.

alma on February 18, 2011:

great article!!! and yes i do agree with mary.

Mary on January 21, 2011:

Great article! Reading every point I realize how I missed a lot of the signs that were there in my husbands behavior, but I was to focus on my newborn child.

Now having being hurt by my husbands infidelity trying to built things back one year after I realize that I can can forgive him but will not forget.

I most definitely will end my marriage but still believe you can make things work a recover when both partners are willing and give it all!

january on December 08, 2010:

marriage is just a piece of paper..

sandylongman on December 02, 2010:

Good Article I think all the above can happen in different times in a marriage but abuse should not be tolerated. Working at it is key. A marriage goes thru ups and downs.

Vanessa on November 22, 2010:

I appreciate that you said at the article end it may be time to work on marriage rather than time to end it.

Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on June 12, 2010:

Thanks for the encouragement soniji!

karobi : Coming from a marriage counselor, that's a great compliment. Thank you!

Ulebe Oghenekaro John from Lagos Nigeria on June 12, 2010:

Animaka, what a nice hub keep them coming. And I think as I am into marriage counseling I will refer some of my client to this hub. I think you just earn yourself a fan.

thanks once more

Rajinder Soni from New Delhi, India on May 04, 2010:

This is an excellent hub and I found you through facebook and then ezinearticles. You are doing a great job by interlinking your sites. By the way, my hub score is getting down. Can you tell me why it is happening?

Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on April 28, 2010:

Thanks for the visit Madison22, Sandeep Sharma, rogeratlantic and Rismayanti for your kind comments.

Sandeep Sharma: Thanks a lot for the encouragement. I have already written articles on related topics.

Rismayanti from Tropical Island on April 24, 2010:

great hub anamika.. give more information. thank you

rogeratlantic on March 20, 2010:

Very nice observation. I want to add one thing for me that matters in a relationship that we must put God in the center of every relationship.

Sandeep Sharma on September 25, 2009:

Good job Ana! May I most humbly suggest tht you could even think of re-formatting this wonderful dignostic treatise into an even more comprehensive and useful solution-oriented tool by weaving-in certain (positive) remedial measures alongside the alarming symptoms of marriages turning sour. It wuld certainly be a great help in today's turbulent strss and strife torn times. Take care ...


Madison from NYC on September 03, 2009:

Wow you pretty much covered them all...Good list!!

Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on August 06, 2009:

Nice to know you liked it Jay. Thanks for the visit.

jayb23 from India on August 06, 2009:

Good work Anamika. The points you have listed are apt and true. Btw Im not married. Keep up the good work.

Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on August 05, 2009:

fishskinfreak2008 : Yes constructive arguments may be good. My point is many expect a perfect marriage or partner and when their expectations does not meet they get unhappy.

Barryrutherford : Marriage is not bad. But making it successful needs constant efforts. Here are 10 reasons to get married.

AllMomNeeds2know : Thanks for the nice comment Fiona.

AllMomNeeds2know on August 04, 2009:

Nice job with this article. Marriage is constant work and if a couple has been married for any length of time and has kids it's often stressful and it takes lots of work to make a marriage work. Great examples.


Barry Rutherford from Queensland Australia on August 04, 2009:

mm thank god im not married...good hub

fishskinfreak2008 from Fremont CA on August 04, 2009:


Arguments may be beneficial as long as the argument is CONSTRUCTIVE

As far as "Imperfections" is concerned, NO ONE IS PERFECT so I can't agree with you there.

All your other points are legit. Nice job

Anamika S Jain (author) from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India on August 04, 2009:

Nice to know that you agree kunika.

kunika on August 04, 2009:

you are right Anamika.

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