Krzysztof is a 10+ year YouTube researcher who spends hours researching, analyzing, and uncovering YouTube trends, challenges, and media.
100+ Funny Lies Men Tell Women
Men and women lie all the time, but in this article it's all about the little white lies men tell women whether it be a friend, a girlfriend, a spouse, or even their own mother.
Many of these are exaggerated and aren't meant to be serious, but they do happen and I'm sure you know at least one person who has said some of these lies.
In fact, I bet there are worse examples that you've heard before that aren't on this list. Keeping that in mind, there's no need to get offended because a lot of these apply to women as well so chill.
Anyway let's break it down and give a shout out to all the men who may have used at least a few of these "white lies" (spoiler: they've all done it).
Baby, I love you
I would never cheat on you
I promise I'll call you tomorrow
Yeah I was gonna go, but I got this awful headache
Sure I'll pick (insert child's name here) from school
You look so beautiful
Have you lost weight?
You're so skinny
No you don't look fat, stop it
I won't have any drinks tonight
Do Men Lie About Women They're Seeing?
I'll just be gone for a few minutes
No I'm not engaged/married
I've never seen this woman before in my life
That's not my Tinder profile
Why would I ever use Grindr, I'm straight
Of course I'm not gay
I left my wallet at home
She only needed my help and nothing more
I was just giving her a ride
My parents? No they live very far away from here
Do Men Love Chick Flicks?
I have my own home/apartment
My Mercedes is in the shop getting repairs
I barely drink at parties; I'll only have one drink
I didn't know she was underage
You know I would take a bullet for you
I'd do anything for you
No I don't listen to Katy Perry
Why would I ever like Lady Gaga
I hate chick flicks so much
I've never seen (insert chick flick film here)
Do Men Look at Other Women?
I can't stand women who dress like that, it's disgusting
I would never look at another woman
No I wasn't looking; I had something in my eye
I love flat chested women; they are so confident
I work out like all the time at the gym
Sorry I couldn't answer your call; I was on my run
You look so pretty in the morning
Stop, you look amazing without any makeup
Me and my ex haven't talked in forever
Me and my ex-wife have been divorced for a while
Do Men Support Feminism?
I don't have any children
Did you know that I was a doctor/lawyer?
Oh yeah I graduated from college
He's not my friend, he's a jerk
I would never act like that guy
Most guys are so immature; I'm the complete opposite
Feminism? I support it 100 percent
Yeah I would quit my job and watch the kids while you're working
I support every decision you make
You have a dog/cat? I'm a huge pet lover
Do Men Think Women Look Fat?
Your hair looks really great
You dyed your hair? Wow, I love it
That outfit makes you look so thin
Please stop! I don't find your friend attractive
I love all of your girlfriends; they're so nice
I'm too old for video games; they're so juvenile
Why would you think I got arrested before
I've never been tipsy while driving
I'd rather get to know you first
Getting intimate is the last thing on my mind
Do Men Hate Your Children?
Me a virgin? That's a good one
I've only been with like two girls my entire life
Yeah I get around (yeah right)
I love kids, and I love being around them
I'm a total family man
I would never watch that filthy trash
No I wasn't on those sites; it was one of my friends
I can't meet your parents today; I have the flu
Why would anyone spend so much money on something so dumb
This new laptop? I got it really cheap and barely spent anything
Do Men Have Anger Issues?
I've been working on that diet this whole week
I haven't had any pizza; you know I care about my health
We're not lost at all, and I don't need to ask for directions
We don't need to call anyone, I can fix this myself easily
Well I would say I'm above average in that department
Women have told me in the past that I'm amazing
I don't have an anger problem
I've never been to therapy/counseling
Fired? No I decided to quit this horrible job
The boss loves me; I'll probably get a raise soon
Do Men Love Their Jobs?
No I don't work at Taco Bell; I'm a manager
I make six to seven figures annually
My parents are very wealthy
Looks don't mean anything to me
Yes I'd love to marry you one day
You want that ring? Yeah of course I can afford it
You're pregnant! That's fantastic
Oh you're not pregnant, that's okay don't worry
I didn't know she was your sister/mother
You are such a good mother
Are Men Insecure?
That's nasty, who would burp or fart in public
Marley & Me didn't make me cry; I had allergies
I could probably bench like 300 or 350 no problem
I love your family; they are the best
I don't care if you've never been intimate before
You've had how many boyfriends? Oh that's okay it doesn't bother me
Money doesn't mean a thing to me
The only thing I care about is personality
This game is the most important event of the year
You're right; this game isn't that important
Are There More Lies?
Well that's a pretty lengthy list, but there are so many additional lies that could've been added on. Seriously some of the lies I've heard people mention are creative and impressive. They've turned it into an art form (an immoral art form).
So do you agree with this list? Have you ever told one of those lies before and if so, did you get away with it?
If you did, then count your blessings because women aren't fools. They will find out and get you eventually; you'll probably pay for it in the morning or at night with your back aching from sleeping on that old couch downstairs.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this list and once again don't take any of these "lies" too seriously because it's not meant to be taken offensively. Well thanks for reading if you did, and have a pleasant, honest (or dishonest) day.
Krzysztof Willman (author) from Parlin, New Jersey on July 04, 2015:
I've definitely heard many of these too to the point where they've become cliches of themselves.
peachy from Home Sweet Home on July 01, 2015:
wow, almost 50% of them are common phrase use by men!
Krzysztof Willman (author) from Parlin, New Jersey on June 24, 2015:
Thank you and that's awful and way up there with the worst of the lies. It would be an interesting contrast between the lies men versus women could tell.
Catherine Giordano from Orlando Florida on June 23, 2015:
This is a pretty funny list. And a painful one when it brings back memories of lies told. I dated a guy for months and he never told me he had an ex-wife and child. Now someone has to do the lies women tell.
Krzysztof Willman (author) from Parlin, New Jersey on June 23, 2015:
There are probably 1000's of lies out there so I agree. Well as long as it's used in a good way then by all means lol.
Krzysztof Willman (author) from Parlin, New Jersey on June 23, 2015:
Thank you and I agree those are a few gems. I can't believe I forgot "I'm sorry", that has to be the biggest one on there.
John Hansen from Australia (Gondwana Land) on June 23, 2015:
Great hub Chris. Pretty extensive ist but there are so many lies it's impossible to cover them all. I admit to using a couple..in a good way..or intentionally so :)
Andrew Hill from Leicester, United Kingdom on June 22, 2015:
LOL @ "I swear I'm not gay!"
I'm always telling my misses this one, it isn't a lie though. ;)
kbdressman from Clinton Township, Michigan on June 22, 2015:
Too funny! I think you forgot a few though:
"I'm over my ex."
"Of course you can finish your degree even if we get married."
"I swear that was the last time."
"I'm not interested."