Skip to main content

100+ Hilariously God Awful White Lies Men Tell Women

Krzysztof is a 10+ year YouTube researcher who spends hours researching, analyzing, and uncovering YouTube trends, challenges, and media.

100+ Funny Lies Men Tell Women

Men and women lie all the time, but in this article it's all about the little white lies men tell women whether it be a friend, a girlfriend, a spouse, or even their own mother.

Many of these are exaggerated and aren't meant to be serious, but they do happen and I'm sure you know at least one person who has said some of these lies.

In fact, I bet there are worse examples that you've heard before that aren't on this list. Keeping that in mind, there's no need to get offended because a lot of these apply to women as well so chill.

100 Excuses Women Use to Reject Men

Anyway let's break it down and give a shout out to all the men who may have used at least a few of these "white lies" (spoiler: they've all done it).

100.

Baby, I love you

99.

I would never cheat on you

98.

I promise I'll call you tomorrow

97.

Yeah I was gonna go, but I got this awful headache

96.

Sure I'll pick (insert child's name here) from school

95.

You look so beautiful

94.

Have you lost weight?

93.

You're so skinny

92.

No you don't look fat, stop it

91.

I won't have any drinks tonight

 

 

Do Men Lie About Women They're Seeing?

90.

I'll just be gone for a few minutes

89.

No I'm not engaged/married

88.

I've never seen this woman before in my life

87.

That's not my Tinder profile

86.

Why would I ever use Grindr, I'm straight

85.

Of course I'm not gay

84.

I left my wallet at home

83.

She only needed my help and nothing more

82.

I was just giving her a ride

81.

My parents? No they live very far away from here

Do Men Love Chick Flicks?

80.

I have my own home/apartment

79.

My Mercedes is in the shop getting repairs

78.

I barely drink at parties; I'll only have one drink

77.

I didn't know she was underage

76.

You know I would take a bullet for you

75.

I'd do anything for you

74.

No I don't listen to Katy Perry

73.

Why would I ever like Lady Gaga

72.

I hate chick flicks so much

71.

I've never seen (insert chick flick film here)

Do Men Look at Other Women?

70.

I can't stand women who dress like that, it's disgusting

69.

I would never look at another woman

68.

No I wasn't looking; I had something in my eye

67.

I love flat chested women; they are so confident

66.

I work out like all the time at the gym

65.

Sorry I couldn't answer your call; I was on my run

64.

You look so pretty in the morning

63.

Stop, you look amazing without any makeup

62.

Me and my ex haven't talked in forever

61.

Me and my ex-wife have been divorced for a while

Do Men Support Feminism?

60.

I don't have any children

59.

Did you know that I was a doctor/lawyer?

58.

Oh yeah I graduated from college

57.

He's not my friend, he's a jerk

56.

I would never act like that guy

55.

Most guys are so immature; I'm the complete opposite

54.

Feminism? I support it 100 percent

53.

Yeah I would quit my job and watch the kids while you're working

52.

I support every decision you make

51.

You have a dog/cat? I'm a huge pet lover

Do Men Think Women Look Fat?

50.

Your hair looks really great

49.

You dyed your hair? Wow, I love it

48.

That outfit makes you look so thin

47.

Please stop! I don't find your friend attractive

46.

I love all of your girlfriends; they're so nice

45.

I'm too old for video games; they're so juvenile

44.

Why would you think I got arrested before

43.

I've never been tipsy while driving

42.

I'd rather get to know you first

41.

Getting intimate is the last thing on my mind

Scroll to Continue

Do Men Hate Your Children?

40.

Me a virgin? That's a good one

39.

I've only been with like two girls my entire life

38.

Yeah I get around (yeah right)

37.

I love kids, and I love being around them

36.

I'm a total family man

35.

I would never watch that filthy trash

34.

No I wasn't on those sites; it was one of my friends

33.

I can't meet your parents today; I have the flu

32.

Why would anyone spend so much money on something so dumb

31.

This new laptop? I got it really cheap and barely spent anything

Do Men Have Anger Issues?

30.

I've been working on that diet this whole week

29.

I haven't had any pizza; you know I care about my health

28.

We're not lost at all, and I don't need to ask for directions

27.

We don't need to call anyone, I can fix this myself easily

26.

Well I would say I'm above average in that department

25.

Women have told me in the past that I'm amazing

24.

I don't have an anger problem

23.

I've never been to therapy/counseling

22.

Fired? No I decided to quit this horrible job

21.

The boss loves me; I'll probably get a raise soon

Do Men Love Their Jobs?

20.

No I don't work at Taco Bell; I'm a manager

19.

I make six to seven figures annually

18.

My parents are very wealthy

17.

Looks don't mean anything to me

16.

Yes I'd love to marry you one day

15.

You want that ring? Yeah of course I can afford it

14.

You're pregnant! That's fantastic

13.

Oh you're not pregnant, that's okay don't worry

12.

I didn't know she was your sister/mother

11.

You are such a good mother

Are Men Insecure?

10.

That's nasty, who would burp or fart in public

9.

Marley & Me didn't make me cry; I had allergies

8.

I could probably bench like 300 or 350 no problem

7.

I love your family; they are the best

6.

I don't care if you've never been intimate before

5.

You've had how many boyfriends? Oh that's okay it doesn't bother me

4.

Money doesn't mean a thing to me

3.

The only thing I care about is personality

2.

This game is the most important event of the year

1.

You're right; this game isn't that important

Are There More Lies?

Well that's a pretty lengthy list, but there are so many additional lies that could've been added on. Seriously some of the lies I've heard people mention are creative and impressive. They've turned it into an art form (an immoral art form).

So do you agree with this list? Have you ever told one of those lies before and if so, did you get away with it?

If you did, then count your blessings because women aren't fools. They will find out and get you eventually; you'll probably pay for it in the morning or at night with your back aching from sleeping on that old couch downstairs.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this list and once again don't take any of these "lies" too seriously because it's not meant to be taken offensively. Well thanks for reading if you did, and have a pleasant, honest (or dishonest) day.

Your Thoughts!

Comments

Krzysztof Willman (author) from Parlin, New Jersey on July 04, 2015:

I've definitely heard many of these too to the point where they've become cliches of themselves.

peachy from Home Sweet Home on July 01, 2015:

wow, almost 50% of them are common phrase use by men!

Krzysztof Willman (author) from Parlin, New Jersey on June 24, 2015:

Thank you and that's awful and way up there with the worst of the lies. It would be an interesting contrast between the lies men versus women could tell.

Catherine Giordano from Orlando Florida on June 23, 2015:

This is a pretty funny list. And a painful one when it brings back memories of lies told. I dated a guy for months and he never told me he had an ex-wife and child. Now someone has to do the lies women tell.

Krzysztof Willman (author) from Parlin, New Jersey on June 23, 2015:

There are probably 1000's of lies out there so I agree. Well as long as it's used in a good way then by all means lol.

Krzysztof Willman (author) from Parlin, New Jersey on June 23, 2015:

Thank you and I agree those are a few gems. I can't believe I forgot "I'm sorry", that has to be the biggest one on there.

John Hansen from Gondwana Land on June 23, 2015:

Great hub Chris. Pretty extensive ist but there are so many lies it's impossible to cover them all. I admit to using a couple..in a good way..or intentionally so :)

Andrew Hill from Leicester, United Kingdom on June 22, 2015:

LOL @ "I swear I'm not gay!"

I'm always telling my misses this one, it isn't a lie though. ;)

kbdressman from Harlem, New York on June 22, 2015:

Too funny! I think you forgot a few though:

"I'm over my ex."

"Of course you can finish your degree even if we get married."

"I'm sorry."

"I swear that was the last time."

"I'm not interested."

Related Articles