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10 things a woman can do to make a man cry.

Why so sad?

Image courtesy of flicker.

Image courtesy of flicker.

10 things a woman can do to make a man cry.

 Every body's answer was the same when I first posed the question: "What can a woman do to a man that will make them cry?"  The answer was:  Cheat.  They misunderstood my question.  If a man and a woman are in a relationship, it's easy to think of ways to make the male cry.  But, my angle was different.  The man and the woman are not in a relationship.  They are friends, old friends, ex-lovers, roommates, and/or acquaintances.  No physical pain allowed.  It's easy to make a guy cry if you just kick him in the crotch.

This is to help women who have been done wrong by any man in their life.  It may seem cruel, but if a woman is looking for a reason to make you cry, you probably deserve it, man.

We're going to count backwards from 10 to 1. 

10.  Make him watch "Brian's Song" or "Field Of Dreams."  These two movies are guaranteed to make a guy cry, no matter how tough they may seem. 

9.  Disrespect his mother or call him a 'bad son.'  Usually, the man's emotion will begin as anger, but slowly will turn into sadness and a tear or two. 

8.  Bring up a dead pet.  Patches was his best friend for 12 years until mommy and daddy took him to a 'big farm' to live on for the rest of his life.  The thought of the love he had for patches, will no doubt make him tear up a bit.

7.  Offer casual sex and then, change your mind!

6.  Steal something he loves.  His favorite shirt or that stupid Tony Romo bobblehead.

5.  Offer to "hook him up" with one of your hot girlfriends.  Then, tell him she doesn't want to go out with him because he's unattractive.  Ouch.

4.  'Carrie Underwood' his car.  Key it.  Baseball bat to the windshield.  When he sees the one thing he loves, his car, in pain, he will cry.  Trust me.

3.  Tell him (and others if you like) that he is bad in bed.  This, of course, only works if the woman has had an intimate relationship with the man.  If not, she can still tell others that he's bad in bed...she's heard stories from past girlfriends.

2.  Tell him he's going to die alone.  That one makes everyone cry.


1.  Tell him (and others if you like) that he has a small penis!  Men are obsessed with that part of their anatomy.  If she tells him it's small, his embarassment will turn to tears.  And if she tells others about his teenie weenie, and he finds out, his self-esteem will be crushed, which will lead to uncontrolable sobbing.  Even if she never actually saw it, she can assume...or lie.

Why are men so obsessed with their penis'?  The world may never know.


Dinah on September 21, 2020:

To me time is the best of all. Give time to each other and you will never regrate having fallen in love. I say this because i have exprienced it and it worked,its working and it will still work

Roselle Dala Cagaitan on November 28, 2019:

For the good and strong relastion ship

Scroll to Continue

Trust each other

Comfort, love patient and caring,

Espicially honesty is the best polic,

pia on May 31, 2015:

Just loved the no1 point... dats a big Ouucch to guys !!

Ruthless on April 23, 2015:

Make him watch a beautiful car get blown up. DeLorean, Mustang...pick-up truck

If he has beautiful wordwork throughout his house, sand it down and paint over it!

If he's a hunter and has a collection of trophies on the wall, take them all down, send them to the decorators to be dyed nice light pastel colors, and then hang them back up on the walls

OR...Erma Bombeck's favorite...Drive a nail into a beautiful, untouched wall!

I hate boy on September 11, 2014:

I'm trying to find how to make a 11 year old boy cry cause he made me cry today and he didn just made me cry he also say mean thing about my exam bad and tell my bus driver about it not only that he use his shoe to hit me Arggggggggg!.... Plz tell me what to do I can"t forget it it was painful

Jendl on June 30, 2014:

If I love her then she can break me easily. But if she is just a psycho then none of it will work. Boys don't cry, but real MEN do.

Naomi on May 30, 2014:

That's like giving somebody instructions on how to commit murder.

Whether you say it's a joke or not, do you still think this is a justifiable option to choose from? I think you have to be a sick and hateful individual that likes to hurt people in order to think like that.

Why would I ever want to humiliate any man like that. I've had my share of grievances with them that were dismissed with no harm. Women like you give the rest of us bad name. Men are a lot more sensitive than you think and vulnerable these days.

Kristen on April 25, 2014:

I'm gonna try these on a boy who's tryin' t o destroy my life. Thx for the tips, Shannon :)

Dan435 on January 25, 2014:

Shannon, if you meant it as a joke, then no one is laughing. I'm pretty sure that if a man posted ten things to make women cry, you wouldn't think it was a joke. Women would be crying bloody murder. And any woman who even mentions my mother in a negative way would get the worse beat down anyone ever got. Woman or not.

., on January 01, 2014:

What a pathetic article, you must be a stupid slut to write such a huge amount of crap. And then people wonder why we treat women bad .. this article is ridiculous.

PACH on December 28, 2013:

This is just stupid

Me on November 29, 2013:

Tell him you updated his computer to Windows 8

sandra on November 12, 2013:

Hello friends my name is Sandra, i know a good spell caster who helped me when i had problem with my Husband if you need a right place to solve your problems contact is the right choice. he is a great man that has been casting spells for years he has a good experience. he cast spells for different purposes like

(1) If you want your ex back. (2) if you always have bad dreams.

(3) You want to be promoted in your office.

(4) You want women/men to run after you.

(5) If you want a child.

(6) You want to be rich.

(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.

(8) If you need financial assistance.

(9) Herbal care

Contact him today at: and please rebroadcast this to save a situation out there

donvitoc on March 30, 2013:

I'm not a cryer, but I am (admittedly) pretty depraved. A number of these would send my libido into overdrive. An assertive bitch turns me on. I don't know why, and I know it's stupid and weird, but it's true. I've made a number of girlfriends even more angry when we were in a heated argument because I'll start to flirt with her while she's mad at me. I can't help it. It turns me on.

Thank you, ma'am! May I have another? LOL

t dale on January 20, 2013:

The opposite of love is apathy... not hate. If someone is obsessed with hurting an ex lover… then they obviously still have unresolved feelings about the relationship. If you want to be at peace, accept that you are better off alone. Nothing is more pitiful than a spurned lover who lives for revenge. It's behavior like this that probably scared him off in the first place.

Laura on January 19, 2013: probably one of the dumbest things I have read, and I'm a woman. I hope it's a joke.

henry on December 30, 2012:

I most confess, i love your guild, i have same problem and will do just that to win her back, but i have this to say, my wife always want to go to her parent's house, and when ever she go, she will stay till late, how do i handle it?

g on November 17, 2012:

I have had the small penis thing thrown at me. I am average, but her first bf was huge so she enjoyed reminding me of that. My crime? I hurt her feelings accidentally . Anyway, it was a very effective way of making me feel less attractive when I was with her, and also an effective way to let me know that she was not someone I could trust, and extinguish my feelings of love and affection for her.

Congratulations on your loneliness!

kikalina from Europe on November 05, 2012:

Wow this hub sure got some heated reactions. Fun read though.

Hannah on August 31, 2012:

I haven't cryed in years and I'm fourteen. What the hell is wrong with me? Nothing ever bothers me anymore and I can no longer understand people. I mean I get angry at people who dump their stupid self centered problems in my lap which happens more often than it should, but still I deal with it even though I have no understanding. I think my biggest feeling is sympathy....

john on August 29, 2012:

lol i'm sure this post crated by misandryst or women who don't know anything about men at all....

you said his penis small, he is bad in bed, offer casual sex and change mind and hes crying??? lol ( trust me i will never cried from those things )

i cried when :

i see a movie about love between fathers and their child ( its beautiful, love between mother and her child is boring )

i see a movie about pure love between lovers

when i feel i'm bad child and failed my parents hope

my parents don't remember my birthday ( yes it happen ) and feel they don't love me

broke up with girlfriend , or still in relationship but feel that she don't love me

seeing or watching news about murder or suicide...

after very beautiful , intimate, and passionate sex


men are pigs and they have no feelings and the only care about sex...

yes yes i always hear that all the time....if that's your opinion that's okay

chichi on May 29, 2012:

thank you for the notice God bless you

and there is a tiny thing you have to

do for

Jamie on May 21, 2012:

Bringing up my dead pet is a low blow, and is about the only thing that would make me cry on that list. My dog was a part of my family, and I had her since the day she was born.

Having that on the list just proves that some people are heartless.

Anttte on May 13, 2012:

1. i watched the field of dreams trailer and even that made me cry so nmbr 10 should be nmbr 1 (btw im only 13 years old :P)

2. i will never cry if someone told me my junk was small cuz i know it aint true ^^

John on May 05, 2012:

As I said to one women who actualy agreed with me, men a'rnt generaly more obsessed with sex more than women it's just men constantly see images of women & women dressed in a sexual way to make them think about it more, if all your stereo typical men in general life walked around dressed like chippindale's or male strippers I pretty sure more women would be thinking with their own genitalia more often, just ask the strippers how the women behave on a hen night, makes us guy's look like priest by comaparison ;-).

Rage on May 04, 2012:

women are obsessed with sex just the same as men. It's the natural instinct of all creatures. Women shelve men in reserve in case the one they want doesn't pursue them. more common I'm sure is the males lack of performance. The performance standard is a great basis for criticizing men, because If they are a shitty lay, but are always chasing tail, what other stereotype will be portrayed to women.

simply put if you want to make a man cry you'd have to murder a lifelong friend or relative. This method will make him grieve for a long time, but it does not guarantee you any set time frame for him to exact revenge. Some men will act on the revenge first and grieve later. Others the opposite or even in the midst of grieving.

viken on May 04, 2012:

cannot you guys thinking about something that can touch a man heart and make him crying? jesus, what a lame strategy for any stupid sadness, sorrow feeling.

tamara on May 03, 2012:

Men are obsessed with their penus just like Woman are with their weight.

john on May 01, 2012:

Sorry lol

John on May 01, 2012:

Also a few note's to the authur, one of the biggest criticism's made by women to men is men are all sex mad & think with what's in their pants.

My question to the authur is how would women respond & would they have sex on their mind's more if a typical man dressed in general like a typical chippin dale or male stripper, my point is you want your male collegues to have respect for you don't dress like tarts, there is an interesting article by a women in the mail,( where she goes without her makeup for a month, & her conclusions were that Men didn't take any notice of her or bother her, but women commented on her look's & asked if she was ill a lot, & commented on her look's,(another thing that was blamed on men), so in actual fact it's women not men who put pressure on other women to look good & sexy, & never go without makeup so lets kill this @it's the male's fault we have to dress up' myth.

John on May 01, 2012:

The reason why I put the comments I did, isn't that I didn't read that the authur said it was kinda of a joke but the fact, as I'm a British man, if anyone has ever watched of late any British tv, as a man I get fed up of men being perceived as immature idiotic morons, where as the women on same said programs are portrayed as clever, mature sofisticated cool characters by contrast, (that is until they reach their mid forties lose their look's then nobody gives them a second look ;-)). Also where are all these cool sophisticated women, I come from Leamington Spa & have yet to meet any, they all seem to be giggly gorp's.

The #1 on April 29, 2012:

I had the small penis one said to me because I informed a woman about how her eating fish and cheese meant that she wasn't a true vegetarian. She also spread it to get back at me. It was disproven a week later when my girlfriend and I progressed in our relationship. She now tries to rip my clothes off and always hinting she wants to. I must've done it right. The only other time that number one was spread was when a guy tried to blow me out of the water so he could have the woman I was talking to(my current girlfriend). We were dancing and she got a "poke" and that proved he lied. Don't say number 1 if you can't prove it.

Rage on April 24, 2012:

There was no known offense. We always had fun together and basically got together twice. this was more than a year ago. she shows up on Saturday. we make plans to get together. she cancels before I'm done with work the next day cause she's tired. I reply to her text saying "raincheck then. :)" then out of nowhere three hours later she's texting me back. saying to come over. I show up and there's a guy in her bed with her passed the fuck out, but I really question whether she was passed out.

I wasn't teary or angry that she canceled. I wasn't angry or sad that she had my competition in bed with her. I was angry, flaming, enraged, and furious that i could have stayed at home blazing a bowl and drinking a beer after the gym. Oh yea i work out and I have a life I'm leading.

she showed up to my gym last night. I don't know whether her apology was sincere. She spent time on two separate occasions apologizing but a little smirk and gleam in her eyes makes me question it. she seemed believable when she said she was blacked out drunk. to me she seemed drugged. there was only a six pack of beer present at the crime scene.

Any time she tried to explain herself I'd see her eyes wandering away from me into space. that's when I knew she was lying.

I first thought it was just that guy’s tampering. What purpose could some guy you met two days ago have for doing so? Nothing, you’ve known him for awhile yet. I only reasoned out he was the boyfriend you’d intended to skive. You want to be able to sleep with a few different people then that’s just normal, because so do i. I’m pissed because I was used. I was drawn in late when I was going to chill and be ready for work the next day. The women I kick it with don’t tell me about who else they’re banging but at least they have the decency not to lie by saying I’m their exclusive.

so self affirmations aside what does this blog think?

priyanka on April 15, 2012:

thanx a lot

Lawrence on April 13, 2012:


Add that your organ only seems small when it is in a cold wet clammy giant cavern like hers.

who da man on April 13, 2012:

your an idiot. oh, and a man hater. A real man would brush you off, go on his way and find a real woman to talk to, not a feminist sexist biggot like you.

John on April 11, 2012:

Sorry about the spelling mistakes by the way,did it in a hurry & also didn't check it afterwards.

John on April 10, 2012:

Depend's on the ma & the size of his ego.

Here would be my answer to the top 10 things.

10: Alreadfy watch field of dreams, din'nt cry, & I hate American football," Put the thing on the ground after all you call it football".

9:Would just say, "Well at least she's isn't a bitch, & I maybe a bad so but you were a drunken accident".

8:A pet's a pet nothing more, only had Gerbils & a Cat, didn't even notice the cat had been put down until 3 weeks later.

7:Beleave it or not,'and I know you wont', I'd say not really that bothered after all still have access to the internet, & the women on there are better looking than you anyhow.

6:I'd just burn your shoe & clothes collection's, bound to hurt more than anything I own getting damaged lol.

5:Never ever go out with a girl your ex or so called female colleague has chosen for you, your asking for trouble.

4:Genuinely not that interested in car's, infact I don't drive(I am a guy though really, honest).

3:Tell other's she has herpes, or some other sexualy transmitted disease which she passed on to you which is why she is spreading rumours about being bad in bed, as a guy 1 thing I can assure all girls out there, rumours of a girl having a sexual disease is the one thing that will put all guy's off you, no matter how attractive you think you are.

2:Tell her, if the choice is living with her or alone for all your life, leaving alone is definitely one step up.

1:As a person who's is A: Above average side in penis, B: Been told by an ex that doesn't like me now that I was to big for her.

C: Never been insecure about my male organ anyhow as the only one who I listen to about any parts of my body is me lol.

j on April 10, 2012:


Brandon.g on April 10, 2012:

Also Jurassic bark episode from futurama I am 24 and rarely cry that made me though

Kabuli Bacha on April 09, 2012:

I agree with Taylor, None of these can make a man cry, I don't agree, ((2. Tell him he's going to die alone. That one makes everyone cry.))) I agree only 50% but still I will not cry, it will burn me and hurt me very much, but as a man, none of the others can make me cry.

A dude on April 08, 2012:

Yeah, "Carrie Underwood"-ing his truck will put you in jail or at least in court with a giant ticket. Talk about malicious destruction of private property. Read up on some law.

xxxooo on March 24, 2012:

That's mean and I need big revenge on a boy and I would never do that

RandomGuy on March 13, 2012:


maybe it's just me, but almost none of these rules apply to me and I'm an emotional wreck, so It's not like I'm good at taking abuse.

The only one I'll give you is the small penis thing and everything that is somehow connected to his sexual capacity.

Although that one will probably lead to him killing himself, so that's that

Wayne on March 06, 2012:

lol for me,dis respect my mother,we both cry,i cry coz sh did that,sh cries coz sh got a broken nose and a black eye

ShadyH3CZ on February 28, 2012:

my girl tried to dollow these things and now she siingle with no money in the streets :)

profsly on February 13, 2012:

what kind of joke is that? Those things doesn't look funny. mind you there are exceptional men like me who would not be bordered with any of this things.

sabrina on February 12, 2012:

one way to get back at a man would be to get with his friend or tell him when you leave him that the only reason you were with him was to get close to his friend or if he has a hot brother that works too men are very compeditive when it comes to women even if they don't admit it that's part of where jealousy comes from but all in all if you want to make him suffer act like he doesn't exist i don't mean oh i see him is he looking im going to turn this way tell me if he is looking .. i mean straight up that guy over there never seen him in my life and go on like its just some stranger ppl like to get a rise out of each other that's half the reason anyone on this planet does anything they wonder what happens .. well when nothing happens it tends to get a lil frustrating or make it seem like your up to something give a slight smerky smile when passing it will drive them crazy trying to figure out what your telling ppl and its going to make him look crazy about you to everyone else

Olivia on February 08, 2012:

Ok so they r kind of funny but rlly most of u girls and guys out there just freaking need to get ouver the ex cuz rlly all that is going to happen is dat they r going to come back and get u and its never going to stop.

Jess on February 07, 2012:

i am 17 years old and in high school ....ok so i need to get revenge on my ex because he sent a picture to half the guys in my grade and i learned that my ex is very hard to break ... nothing ever makes him cry and i want to get him back for ruiening my life and reputation

john on February 03, 2012:

The only thing on that list that would make me cry would be watching brian's song or field of dreams. The rest would anger me or sadden me but make me cry? No.

paul on January 30, 2012:

none of these would makw me cry; they may make me walk awy instead.

Arthanis on January 24, 2012:

As guy , nope none of this would work

Property damage and such would result in anger , name calling and slander in a chuckle and the rest might stir up an emotion , but would never result in tear.

'Bhai'. on January 17, 2012:

I cried a lot,wen i cme to kno c ws flirtng wth me,atlst,,

david on December 06, 2011:

ok smashing a car could get you sued so then he got his revenge for that. also nun on these would make me cry and im 13...

angelina! on October 01, 2011:

wow.... really... i came here with my hopes up and all i got was some ways to make him mad not sad or ways to make a 10 year old cry not a man. ultimate fail bitch

DENISE on September 24, 2011:


Lorrellei Waterson on September 05, 2011:

Just goes to show you the immaturity level, Shannon, I have to apologize for the poster above. That was SO uncalled for. I stumbled here this 7 months later to say you SHOULD NOT SPEAK TO EACH OTHER THE WAY "Higzy" ^approached Shannon. This is why people feel like making you guys cry!

Higzy on June 12, 2011:

Shannon Baich = A woman who has been shunned by men her entire life and now plots of ways to hurt ALL men.

Shannon - You are a waste of flesh.

Hinaiqiashinta- Hinaa on May 15, 2011:

Holaaa chicas...Umh. Yeah I'm kinda lil. 13 years old. I wanna get revenge on a boy cuz he ruined my 4th grade lifee. I don't he has a car tho. I wanna make him cry. But those won't just work plassz tall me mor cos I rlly want him to rue what he did. Btw if I hav gramma mistake sorry I'm Latino and not very guud at inglish grammar.

ShannonBaich (author) from Where ever I go...there I am. But, mostly I'm in Delaware. on January 31, 2011:

Oh Boys! This Hub was mostly meant as a joke! I certainly hope nobody actually tries these things!

Cali Guy on January 25, 2011:

Most of those are lame and wouldn't work on most guys. Who ever wrote this surely doesn't know much about a guys !!

kingkong on January 12, 2011:

Any hoe that decided to smash my ride for ANY reason is f***ing crazy, and needs to seek counseling!!!

kingkong on January 12, 2011:


jose on December 03, 2010:

love is lost for just be a ma of your non

Chinemere onuekwusi on October 28, 2010:

Can a grown up man cry?, Looking at your info, Yes. Men are like babies, and they want to eat their cake and still have it, including their women. Thanks for your insight and hope you write more.

Robin on August 08, 2010:

ok the reason us girls would prob want to make a guy cry is to get back and hurt the like they hurt you!

juno on February 08, 2010:

this wont do..i fink its best to let the jerk be.

ShannonBaich (author) from Where ever I go...there I am. But, mostly I'm in Delaware. on January 24, 2010:

Thanks luv.poem... it was meant to be amusing. I have no wish to make anyone cry! :)

luv.poem on January 08, 2010:

I found this hub amusing! :p And sometimes it's just therapeutic to plot your revenge.

Caroline on December 22, 2009:

Paul, I agree with you. Either way, why go through the trouble to only stress yourself out more?

It' better to be without him than in bad company. If he really deserves it karma will get him, he'll realize he's wrong, or not. still, why use anymore streght to only stress yourself more?

Focus all that energy on yourself, do something foryourself.

If he ever was real, he'll come back.

Paul on October 17, 2009:

Im sorry, but as a guy none of these things would work.

I mean especially if i knew i did something wrong to this girl, i would know that anything cruel from her would be an attempt to redeem herself. Woman, the best way to redeem yourself or get revenge is to just leave the guy alone. Eventually he will realise he was wrong and feel bad about it.

Janet McCarthy on September 13, 2009:

Sean, I hope you weren't the test subject. This sounds like cruel and unusual punishment.

Sean on August 29, 2009:

Was I the test subject for this HUB? LOL

Kyle on August 28, 2009:

errr...maybe more misandry. I think #2 would make me cry if I believed she was being serious and there was a level of respect there (that she ripped to pieces!) and wanted to maintain friends with her.

It is almost on the same level as: I really hope you die and burn in hell!

Kyle on August 28, 2009:


ShannonBaich (author) from Where ever I go...there I am. But, mostly I'm in Delaware. on August 24, 2009:

I'm sure someone has a good enough reason to be so cruel.

Madame X on August 17, 2009:

Oh Shannon - why would anyone want to be so cruel?

Shannon Baich on August 12, 2009:

That's mean... even for my standards.

robert monroe on August 12, 2009:

I would've said a girl can make any guy cry if she ran up to him out of breath and said she had horrible news, and that his mother had just died a horrible death and that she was sent to find him to help her but she couldn't find him so now she's dead. That would be an extremely screwed up thing to do, but it would work. I chose not to answer the question though, because at the time I was very upset and I didn't want to think about crying.

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