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10 Things Women Do in Relationships but SHOULDN'T!


10. Asking if you look "fat" in these jeans...

I know, it's hard isn't it!? You want to know he finds you attractive. You want to hear it from the horses mouth, right? Well don't depend on his opinion to satisfy your self confidence! It's all within you, girl. If you're not confident and see yourself as beautiful, neither will he. Some of us may do it to get attention from him. Don't do that hunny...the only one's attention you deserve is your own. Men love confidence. Instead of saying "Babe, does this outfit make me look fat?" or "Ugh, I hate my thighs." just say, "BAM! Check out my glorious bum in these jeans!". Maybe not exactly in that manor, but you get the point!

9. Say "Nothing" when he asks what's wrong...

He's asking for a reason sweetheart! In his mind he's thinking, "Is she mad at me?" or "Did I do something wrong?" or any other negative thought that comes to mind. If he asks what's wrong tell him. He obviously cares enough to ask. Saying "Nothing" every time he asks what's wrong will just interfere with your ability to sustain a healthy communicative relationship. Express might feel better!

8. Get mad when he is hanging with the boys...

Ladies, I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to have separate lives outside of your relationship! Blowing up his cell via calling or text while he is out with his friends is not going to make him want to be with you more nor come home any sooner. Let him have his space and you go have yours. While he's out with his friends go out with your girls! Grab some wine and chick flicks and ENJOY the time away from him. Once you are back in each each others arms at the end of the night you will realize that time spent apart makes better times when you're together. Send him a sexy text message to make him look forward to coming home! Just because he wants to hang with the boys doesn't mean he's cheating. Even if his boys are single. Don't give him a reason to have wondering eyes and he won't (This goes for the men out there too!). So stop being so damn clingy and have a girls night and let him be a man!


7. Telling him you're calling his mother...

He doesn't care! If you feel the need to call his Mama, more than likely he is a Mama's boy. Usually guys like this have Mama on there side 100%. So just don't embarrass yourself. Secondly, if you can't communicate with him any other way besides calling his Mom to smooth things over, what are you in the relationship for in the first place? Think about it, ladies!

6. Doing EVERYTHING for him...

If you're anything like me and the Italian women in my family, we like to "do" for our men and enjoy it. But don't take it too far. He has arms and legs too! If you're feeling overwhelmed, slow down a bit! After all a relationship is all about the 50/50. Not 70/30 or 60/40! Yes, we enjoy taking care of our men, but after a while he may start to expect certain things from you all the time, everyday. Make sure he can be responsible for his own daily necessities in your absence! Split the responsibilities, tend to his needs, and make sure he tends to yours.

5. Putting him before your children...

This is a BIG No No! Your children were there first and they will be there last. When you are entering a relationship and you have children to provide and care for, their needs ALWAYS come first. If Johnny has a baseball game but your new found "love" would rather go to the bar and play pool...guess what? He'll have to go to the bar alone because Johnny is in the starting line up. Plain and simple.

4. Talking about your relationship troubles with your family...

I cannot stress this enough...don't do it! So you and Fabio had an biggie! You'll either work it out or you won't. I'm guilty of this myself and let me tell you the end result is a big fat fail. So you get your brothers "Big Tony" and "Mini Mike" all amped up and ready to rip Fabio a new one, Mom starts resenting him and Dad is ready to call in the FBI to track this mofo down. There are only 2 things that can come out of this. 1.Everything works out fine. You've talked over your differences and have come to an agreement, but Big Tony and Mini Mike still want to show this guy who's really boss. Mom still doesn't like what Fabio said to you and Dad is keeping a close eye on both of you. OR 2.Big Tony and Mini Mike take matters into there own hands and beat poor Fabio up, even though he was considering calling you within the next day or so to say he misses you and wants to talk about it. Now you've completely lost Fabio and for what? You don't want your family members to hate your potential future spouse. So don't bring the problems home to Mommy and Daddy! Or Big Tony and Mini Mike...

3.Hitting your man...

Just don't do it. You don't want him hitting you do? No, didn't think so. Most men are pretty calm during this kind of situation but if you pick the wrong one you may be in a world of trouble. There's no reason to hit anyone, we are not in kindergarten. Take your temper elsewhere like the boxing gym. Even if it's slap in the face for saying something disrespectful. Trust ignoring him and walking away hurts him way more than that slap did.

Poll Time!

2.Flashing your goodies all over the place...

Let me ask you this. How valuable do your goodies become to him if the whole neighborhood and everyone on social media knows what it looks like? Stay classy, ladies.

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1.Going through his phone and social media accounts...

Trust is a valuable factor in a healthy relationship. If you can't trust him there is no reason to be with him, and vice versa. Second of all, do you REALLY want to find something you don't want to see? Suspecting he is a low down dirty cheater is one thing, but finding he has been speaking with female friends from high school on Facebook shows no evidence of him being a cheater. How do you bring that up? "So Babe, I was going through your Facebook (or phone) and...". No, it can't work like that. If he is innocent he'll be upset you invaded his privacy (yes there is personal privacy in relationships - See #8) and even more upset that you don't trust him. If he does happen to be guilty of something you are just setting yourself up for a dramatic argument where he says, "It won't happen again". If you suspect something, let Karma do it's job and let it come to the light. Just make sure you're protecting yourself during intimacy until his dirty deeds surface. Or even simpler than that, talk to him about it. express your concerns. More than likely he will either come clean or reassure you that insecurities are silly talk. Give him the benefit of the doubt...don't invade his privacy...and if he decides to screw up, it's his loss not yours!

© 2014 Amanda Holzinger


Millicent Okello from Nairobi, Kenya on October 23, 2020:

Such an expert in advance and and i am happy that i got the advice from your article.

Deborah Demander from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD on June 02, 2016:

Great article, and great advice for women in relationships. These tips will help women get their heads out of their... backsides..

Thanks for writing.


John Hollywood from Hollywood, CA on August 28, 2014:

Cute hub. Voted up! Some of what you have applies to some guys I know that can be found somewhere under the rainbow (aka me!)

dashingscorpio from Chicago on August 12, 2014:

Great advice! Voted up and useful!

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