Jenny is a girl who loves many things. She loves street foods, traveling, nature, music, cats, and dogs. She's crazy about purple & writing!
I was flipping through TV channels one night when I accidentally saw First Dates and although I am not a big fan of the show, I found it interesting. It is a program on men and women meeting for the first time in a restaurant for their first date. It is amazing to see how people with different personalities and backgrounds talk to each other and establish connection. Some are able to work it out and enjoyed each other's company and proceeded to have a second date but majority of the couples do not get passed the first date and ended the night with either disappointment or rejection.
First dates are crucial and should not be taken lightly. A lot of men and women don't get the chance for a second date because they were not able to make a positive impression. It is nerve-wracking indeed but when successful, it is really fulfilling. So, you approached a beautiful girl and asked her out. You established a bit of connection and she enjoyed talking to you so she said Yes.
What follows can make or break the possibility of forming a beautiful and healthy relationship. Observe these tips for a successful first date.
Prepare and dress appropriately:
Men should ensure that the car is cleaned and sprayed with refreshing car perfume to avoid bad impression. It is a total turn-off when a girl smells something unpleasant inside the car. Vacuum the vinyl and wash the exterior. Dress appropriately but not too casually for the occasion. Dressing up nicely shows that you respect each other. Women hate it so much when they are dressed inappropriately for the occasion. They need time to prepare and dress up so it is important to inform them ahead of time where you will be going.
Carefully plan the first date
It is important to talk and plan your first date. Decide on the time and place for the date. Avoid places that are not too conducive to proper conversation. Watching a movie may not be very suitable for a first date because you won’t be able to talk much to each other. Dinner could become an awkward choice if the couple runs out of topic to talk about. Theme parks may be great as there’s plenty of things you can do, see and there’s a lot of opportunity to talk to each other casually without being awkward. Interactive dates are also recommended because it’s fun and there’s a lot of opportunity to know each other better. It is better to start the date early so there’s still enough time to go for dinner if both enjoyed the company of each other.
Compliment the lady
Girls dress up because they want to look their best in front of you. Don’t let her efforts come to waste by not taking notice the way she looks. Compliment her and notice what she wears. Tell her she looks good in that outfit. That will be enough to put a smile on her face and make her feel at ease. Excessive compliments are not encouraged though. Open the car door for her. Girls definitely appreciate chivalry.
Use classical and soft music inside the car
Music soothes the emotion. To set the mood, soft jazz is recommended as this type of music does not disrupt any conversation. Talk to the girl while inside the car. If driving, maintain focus on the road while talking to her.
Be on time
Women appreciate it very much when a guy comes on time. It is improper to make the lady wait for you. If she comes in late, be gracious enough as she probably wants to look her best for you. Do not come too early though because she might feel too pressured to dress up and it will definitely ruin her mood knowing that you are already on the couch waiting for her and she doesn’t have enough time to prepare. If something important came up and you will be late, call your date ahead of time and tell the estimated time you will be arriving. When you arrive, don’t honk your car horn. Go to the door and knock. That’s the proper way of telling the lady you have arrived.
Keep it light, fun and romantic
First dates aren’t supposed to be grand or expensive. It is better to keep it light and avoid too personal questions that may ruin the fun atmosphere. Simple settings such as art galleries, museums, and theme parks and then going for a light but fun dinner are very ideal for a first date. Less pressure, more fun and perfect for getting to know each other. Always remember to be yourself but still try not to get too talkative. People tend to talk or drink much when they are nervous so try to get a hold of yourself. Don't be too loud and don't look at your phone all the time. It is almost always a recipe for disaster.
Be attentive and listen to her
There is no better way to ruin the first date than being less attentive. Avoid constantly looking at your phone or watch. When your date talks, listen to him or her. Be attentive. Men tend to lose focus sometimes but it will be appreciated if you show her that you really want to be with her. One of the best way to establish connection is to focus on her, ask relevant and easy questions. Avoid serious topics such as religion, politics and money as much as possible.
Men are expected to pay
It is a silent agreement that whoever did the inviting should also be the one paying. Girls may sometimes offer to split the bill in an attempt to lessen the burden on guys. When this happens, it will be polite to decline, smile at her and hand the payment to the waiter. Splitting the bill can come later in the relationship but for first dates, men are expected to pay. Period.
End the night appropriately
Walk her to her door. Say goodnight and don’t insist on coming inside. Keep things less intimate. Initiate a simple hug, kiss or handshake. The end of your meeting will determine if she will want to see you again. If you enjoyed her company, you need to tell her and she will let you know as well if she did. It is also the right time to ask her on a second date (but thread lightly; only ask her if she really enjoyed it and you can tell if she did actually).
For some people, first dates end more intimately especially if they were really attracted to each other but this usually doesn't go beyond the first night together. It usually ends up as a one-night-stand and so if you really are looking for a serious relationship, then holding off sex for a while will put you in a proper place to get to know the other person first and that's more important.
Call her the next day and thank her for the great time. Ask her if she enjoyed it as well. That is also a great time to ask her out on a second date if you feel that the connection is still there.
Some guys follow a certain number of days before calling after the first date. Calling too soon may make you look as if you are too desperate but girls actually appreciate it if the guy is more upfront because it does show that you are interested and that you are excited to see her again. If she likes you too, then calling too soon is not a problem at all. However, if you take too long to follow-up it goes to show that you are not that interested and the girl might lose interest in you as well. At the end of the day, just be honest about how you feel. To hell with all these codes, when you both like each other, go for it.
© 2018 Jennifer Gonzales
dashingscorpio from Chicago on May 04, 2018:
One of the reasons why "first dates" are so nerve wracking is because people choose to rush into them.
They don't have a " dating screening process"!
Imagine yourself being a company looking to fill a positon.
Not everyone who emails them a resume receives a call from HR. Not everyone who has a phone interview with the HR rep is passed on to the hiring manager for a phone interview, not everyone who has a phone interview with the hiring manager gets a (face to face) interview. Candidates have to meet his/her requirements before having an in person meeting..
These days a lot of people meet online. If they (take their time) getting to know each other with phone calls, emails, and instant messaging over a two week period they would have established a good rapport or realized it doesn't make any sense to have a face to face date.
Using this type of approach eliminates nervousness normally associated with a "first date" when you finally do go out. Considering they have shared some laughs, flirted, and possibly used sexual innuendo with one another . They'll most likely have a good time even if all they ever become are good friends.
One of the quickest ways to get burned out on dating is to go out on a bunch of "first dates" with people you aren't sure you like!
If you're a man most likely you'll be paying for all these first dates!