I have a step-son 8 years old. He has been with me since he was 2 1/2 years old. I have provided his school uniforms, birthday parties , and all necessities and non-necessities (toys) during the past 4 years. He is now in the second grade and has turned into something I don't even like. Nothing like the child I raised because his mother wanted nothing to do with him.
Everyday is now a constant battle, over homework, over bedtime, over anything requiring parental supervision. Being his fathers only child, he always takes sides with him. I am always the one to blame. I'm mean, I'm hateful, the cinderella wicked stepmother. Yet I am the one who has supported him for the past 4 years. But his father always sides with him. I tell him he is only helping him straight to juvenile and the penitentiary later. It's all a joke, his baby, oh poor baby. Poor baby my ass!! I am the one called when he is hitting, pushing, and shoving other students. I am the one called when he grabbed the ass of a girl student. his father never said a word. Oh, poor baby!
" You don't try to work with him... he's just a baby". Baby my rear end. At 8 years old I made my bed, cleaned my room, and did my homework without being told. If I didn't I suffered the consequences, usually a good butt whipping. You can not spank your child now. They are taught in school that if you hit them they only have to tell a teacher, a counselor, or dial 911 and you will be arrested. Many children of today's generation use this as an out to do whatever they want to do, then when they screw up the blame is laid squarely on the parents. many go to jail or court to answer for the transgressions of their children. But I ask myself why, if the same system that blames us has taken away the rights we have as parents to disipline our children. There is a difference between disipline and abuse. I have 4 grown children, I spanked them many times with my hand on their behind. I have never crossed the line into abuse. But this child is a different generation, one protected by the so called laws that prevent child abuse. I for one am sick and fed up!!
If you want to raise your child as a hoodlum, a non-educated, hamburger flipping, nothing.... fine. Remember the children of today are the future of tomorrow...is that scary?? The only thing I have done is to try make sure that he receives an education that will see him through when his father, and I am no longer there to help him along. In return I get a mouthy 8 year old supported by his father, who tells me " I will tell my teacher, I will tell CPS and you will go to jail" . Well, you know what little Mr. Know it all ... I will dial the number for you. If the state of Texas does not allow me to disipline you when I am the one supporting you... then they can have you. I promise you and your father the path you are choosing and he is babying you along is the path staright to the injection table... in Texas we are famous for that.
The State has taken away our rights as parents to disipline our children. If we spank them we are charged with child abuse. This to me seems ridiclous, especially since we are held responsible for their actions. How do we control them...by talking...sorry.. doesn't work. Not in these days of children murdering their parents. Do we ground them??? That's another joke. take away priviledges??? Children now have more rights than the adult charged with taking care of them. They can hold CPS and such over our heads and think we are obliged to kiss their a--. This is taught to them at school. the same schools we pay taxes for them to attend.
Excuse me ... but with the drop-out rate and teen pregnancy rate.. my personal opinion is that the state is not doing to good of a job raising our children. When an 8 year old brings home library booke entitled " Dope deal " and Baby Baby" about the different kind of drugs available and how great it is to drop out of school to be a teenage mother and father, I have to wonder. Teachers are no longer allowed to use corporal punishment.. no wonder no one wants to teach anymore. It is an underpaid, unappreciated job. texas has a great shortage of teachers ...as an unappreciated parent I wonder why.
Should the job of raising our children be taken from our hands and put into the hands of the state?? Should teachers have to take the abuse in these times of school shootings and parental murders? I think not. As for me, from now on ... daddy baby can pick up my poor baby from school, make sure the home work is done, the uniforms are clean...etc. I refuse to be controlled by an 8 year old child that the state has given the authority to incarcerate me if his homework has to be done. If the state had rather support him than have me educate him and teach him about life then I will gladly relinquish the job to them...it is not easy believe me.
Then we wonder why our jails and prisions are flowing over capacity. As a former corrections officer I can tell you, this has a great impact on it.
Desiree Chicago on November 15, 2017:
I totally agree with you Bluedolphin. This is why I decided to not to have kids. Have you decided to place them in a foster home, since you are not allowed to place limits on them? Besides, I was a very unruly kid and my Dad slapped me in the face very hard several time. As a result of this I shaped up and did my homework without being told and not only that, but I didn't get any bruises or welts when he did this to me. So no, I did not feel at all like he abused me when did this and besides my parents tried everything to get me under control, but nothing worked except I was able to stop doing certain bad things.
Bluedolphin on July 08, 2017:
I agree with you. I disciplined my children by spanking them. They ran into the other room and called the police. I went to jail, spent a year in the system, now my children run the roost and I have very little say. I am a prisoner in my own house. A slave to my children, constantly under threat of the police being called if I even say no to simple things. I raise my voice, I am calked abusive. I tell the kids that I am not abusive. They snip back that the state disagrees. If I had to do it all over again, I would not have kids. This is living hell.
Desiree Chicago on March 17, 2017:
Lastly, if children across the board are required to wear uniforms to school that in itself will help out with behavioral problems, especially in middle school and high school. Therefore there will be a reduction in the need for teachers to use corporal punishment on students and for parents to use corporal punishment in the home. I do believe the school should not administer corporal punishment on students without the consent of their parent or guardian. But there are some children who are very unruly even if everyone is required to wear uniform so yes these children do need corporal punishment in the home, in my case for instance because I have a learning disability.
Desiree Chicago on January 29, 2017:
Well written story! I got an idea! Not only should parents be allowed to discipline their children however they deem fit (just so long as there are no bruises, welts, bleeding nor broken bones). But school uniforms should be mandatory all across the country and not just in private schools, because students spend less time getting ready for school, the likely hood of bullying on what a person wears is reduced since everyone wears the same clothes and school is an institution for learning instead of a fashion show.
Robert on July 27, 2012:
yes yes yes!!!
codynnic on April 09, 2012:
This morning, my son would not let up. Amazingly, it started with the cleanliness of his ears - he said he had no q tips - I said, there are some downstairs - why can't you get some?
Please understand I am a non-tradional (old) student basically in med school - I have to study A lot.
It lead to "you think I am stupid"...."you hate me"...."you think I am a baby" (he is 11, he crawled in my seat and pouted). I can't get anything out of this child... I ask him to do something - he ignores me. I have to get his Dad to get him to do it (my husband) - well, this morning he kept on and on and I backhanded him...not even as hard as my parents could have when I was a kid. Well, he went to the counselors office and said I abused him - they called my husband and he just lit into me. Besides the fact my husband does not stand up for me - he blames my Mom and I for letting him get away with everything when he was 3 (wtf?!) - I have no support...and no help. I think for the first time in my life - I could run my car into a tree, kill myself and not thing twice about it. Hell, I am getting myself drunk right now so it will minimize my feelings...and that is SOOOOO not like me.
I DON't know what else to do - I am hurt. I am at a loss. He's 11... I give up
Kmi on April 07, 2012:
Rewarding ordinary behavior produces a nation of underachievers who expect acclimation for every minor thing they do. I do not reward ordinary good behavior I expect it; there are consequences for behaving poorly. Just like the real world; spanking has raised generation after generation of productive citizens. Why fix a system that isn't broken; it's persisted this long so it must be effective. What has the world come to when people are hiring parenting coaches...,
Jordan on April 05, 2012:
I just want to add that the bilble does not teach, Spare the rod, spoil the child;
Spanking in the Bible:
The phrase "spare the rod and spoil the child" is often incorrectly attributed to the Christian Bible. It does not appear there. It was first written in a poem by Samuel Butler in 1664.
Corporal punishment is strongly recommended in the Hebrew Scriptures (Old Testament). Most of the biblical quotations advocating corporal punishment of children appear in the book of Proverbs. Christians interpret these passages in different ways:
Religious conservatives generally believe that the book of Proverbs was assembled by King Solomon, circa 1000 BCE. He brought together a group of sayings which were already current in his time; some may have been his own thoughts; others may have been first written down centuries earlier. 2 The passages which deal with spanking presumably reflect his parenting beliefs with respect to his son, Rehoboam.
Religious liberals generally believe that Solomon first introduced "ancient oriental 'wisdom' to Israel and it later became customary to attribute all books belonging to this particular literary genre to him. The actual authors of Proverbs were the successive generations of wisdom teachers (or 'wise men') who had charge of the moral and practical training of young men of the court and upper classes...." King Hezekiah is mentioned in Proverbs 25:1. Thus, Proverbs in its current form, cannot date from earlier than than his reign in the 8th century BCE. It may have been assembled as late as the 4th century BCE. 3
The following quotations come from the King James Version (KJV) of the Bible:
Prov 13:24: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently)."
Prov 19:18: "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."
Prov 22:15: "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
Prov 23:13: "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."
Prov 23:14: "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell (Shoel)."
Prov 29:15: "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."
An additional verse from the New Testament is occasionally cited as justification for physical punishment of children:
Hebrews 12:6-7: "...the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?"
From our study of conservative Protestant books on child-raising, and the content of numerous radio programs on Christian radio stations, it appears that many Fundamentalist and other Evangelical Christians equate "punishment" and "discipline" with "corporal punishment." But it is not clear whether the discipline, referred to at the end of this New Testament verse, refers to corporal punishment or to some other form of correction (e.g. removal of privileges).
Jordan on April 05, 2012:
I teach parenting classes. There is never an acceptable reason for spanking a child. If a parent has parenting tools to work with she or he will find that it is not necessary to spank. In fact, the more you can catch a child being good, the more well mannered the child becomes. You can do a lot to help a child by uning tangible and intangible rewarrds amd punish by using "time out" or by taking things away (always giving an opportunity to earn them back). I have parents say, "well, I only spank if my child places themselves in harms way." like when a toddler runs into the street. Spanking in this case is for the benefit of the parents fear and not in the child's best interest.
innovativemomma on March 13, 2012:
I am going through a situation with one of my daughters right now. We live in Arizona and I have had CPS called on me twice so far. The first time was because my daughter would get to school and act out cursing out teachers and others then trying to run away from school when confronted. The school would have to call the police and she would get taken to the station where I would have to pick her up. I also got fined. This happened a few times then the school called CPS on me citing “neglect”. I was enraged! I was being blamed for this child acting a fool.
I am a single mother and have 4 daughters. After this incident I was afraid to say anything to my children. My daughter got worst and actually started pulling knives on me and her sisters and hitting them. I was scared to call the police because I thought I would be in trouble again and my children would be taken from me so I suffered in silence. I didn’t come out of my room because I didn’t want confrontation with any of my children. Mind you they are only 15, 14, 12, and 6. I became very depressed.
My mom came to stay with me a few months ago and my daughter became very disrespectful to her as well. At this point I solicited the help of one of my older brothers who blew us off in front of my daughter saying my mom and I are just mean because we force the children to do their chores. I finally reached a breaking point and asked the same brother to take her because I couldn’t take it any more. He told me that she was too out of control and no one was coming up pregnant on his watch. My other brother in Texas agreed to take her this summer.
I recently got engaged to my best friend and he moved in with us. He is in the Army and is trained in restraining procedures. The other day I was at work and the kids and my fiancé were at home. My 14 year old (the out of control one) stabbed my 15 year old in the shoulder with a pencil. My fiancé made them separate and do chores. My 14 year old began to curse him and threaten to kick his a$$. They went back and forth for a few. He told her to stop cursing him and other things. She threatened to kill him and have her uncles kill him.
When he speaks he uses his hands to make gestures. While he was speaking she hit his hand and he snatched her and crossed her arms across her chest and in a very directive voice (choice words used), he told her not to put her hands on him again. She then pulled a knife on him. When my brother (the very one who didn’t want her) found out about my fiancé snatching her up he was outraged and called the police on him. He did not take into consideration that she stabbed her sister or pulled knives on us. My fiancé was not arrested but I was so upset because I have been dealing with this child for the longest asking for help.
I was told by my brother and sister in law that I was sick and they were going to take my kids away because I was not angry with my fiancé.
I am actually glad he snatched her. I can see the decline of my daughter’s self control. She first started disrespecting me, then my mom, now hitting and cursing a man. If it would have been a man on the street or a police officer it could have been worst. I lost control of my children because of fear of cps and I am sickened by it. I am fed up. My 6 year old has nightmares that her sister is going to kill us. I am taking back my house. I am no longer going to let the state destroy the fabric of this country by turning out so many bad kids. They don’t pay my bills nor provide for my children. America stay out of my house. These are my children and they will no longer disrespect me or any other individual in authority. They will grow up to be productive members of society understanding their part in making it a better place to live. That is my responsibility.
christalluna1124 (author) from Dallas Texas on March 03, 2012:
To everyone who has commented on this hub whether we agree or not, thank you. Your opinions are valuable to me. While I do not condone beating or violence against a child or anyone else I still believe in corporal punishment. In my days we did not need metal detectos in our schools, nor security. We did not kill each other with guns and knives. there is a difference in disipline and abuse. I still believe that when grounding, taking away of priviledges fails then there is no other remedy
than a good spanking.
Phillip Nedens on February 23, 2012:
i also believe that if a kid decides to be disrespectful or mouth off..... smack them across the mouth..... for using that mouth in an unacceptable manner. i mean... back in the days before CPS and all that bull, parents could discipline their kids any way they saw fit.... including an actual beating..... so all you people who whine over a little spanking... STFU. if there is no blood dripping, no abuse has been done. spanking/whipping is how a parent asserts his/her dominance over the kid... its how you show the kid who is boss. all kids need their asses whipped now and then... especially those with learning disabilities, like me. when that whoopin is on the way-- a lesson WILL be learned.... the lesson is.... actions lead to consequences.
Phillip Nedens on February 23, 2012:
damn skippy! whoop that ass! when i was just a boy, i got my ass swiched A LOT..... and let me tell you this- if i did something and ended up getting a whippin' from doing what i did, if i ever thought about doing it again, i remembered that switch. i would recall how unpleasant it was.... and usually i would decide against doing it again. paddle?- ehh... belt?- ehh.... hand across the ass?- ehh.... let me tell you one thing, that damn switch is a major attitude adjuster. when i screwed up bad enough- i got that switch. and 2-3 days later, i would still be feelin the sting. that lasting sting was a reminder for me of what i did wrong and the consequences.... and guess what? i learned that my mom said what she meant and meant what she said- and if there was to be any arguing, discussion, or debate about what she said, that switch would be her mouth. nowadays, i generally show respect for everyone.... thanks to the switch. obviously, i swear by it. and yes, i switch my kids when they need it.
christina on November 16, 2011:
I agree spank spank spank when i was little when i was at my grandmas she use to use willow switches and wooden spoons and than my dad used his leather belt and i turned out to be just fine and i am 36 years old with 4 kids of my own and believe me i have a 14 year old who swears at me because she knows i cant do nothing about and all of my kids pushes my buttons because they have cps dangling over my head just last year i grounded my 14 who was 13 than but she went to school and lied and called cps on me and now i dont trust her and im scared to even ground her of what she might lie about next time
53 on October 31, 2011:
first let me clarify something, disclipline is needed by us all. secondly for those who use bibical principles to raise children; do not forget that there is the old(under the law) testament and new(grace) testament and nowhere in the new testament does Jesus ever state to beat your children.
being an AA male the beatings(in the name of discipline)
I and persons of my generation rec'd were tantamount to beatings slaves were subjected to; how is this love .
children need discipline both applied as well as self discipline; beatings serve no purpose except to antagonize and breed resentment; it was basically child abuse.
tell me where does GOD say draw blood when you discipline your child; does GOD say abuse your children
by beatings and demeaning them; some of the the responses i have seen in this forum are pathetic.
i have 2 grown children who i never had to employ corporal punishment, i used other means and was successful, i have a 15 yr old stepson who is a great kid
not a saint.
when he has run afoul his mother and i confer on how to
mete out corrective action; and it is done with love.
he respects and loves me and his mother because we respect him as a person.
you want your child to love and respect you??
treat them as humans.
fred on June 29, 2011:
I have had my kids taken away because i made my oldest kid go to school never spanked him or anything like that and he ended up giving me a child endangerment and corporal punishment charge all because he dint like his teacher he was in 5th grade it took me a year and a half to get my kids back at the time I had 5 kids not a mark on them not a record for hitting kids or anything my record was clean i don't have a lot of money i was a stay at home dad my youngest would ride around with me as i took odd jobs she was 4 i had a good life i was thinking then my life came crashing down when my kids did not come home from school and dint see my kids for about 8 months till i got supervised visitation then now my life sucks my kids now know they can call cps and call the police if i ground them and tell lies this world has went from a god loving world to hell in a basket i have no control over my kids and now there 11,15, 16, 17, 19, 20, and 21 the only kid that is the best acting to me and does not hate me is my 11 year old son the rest tell me they hate me and wish i was dead and such if i knew that 22 years ago i would have never had kids in this world
Pat on June 22, 2011:
I was spanked as a child and I know that it helped me become a better person. I spanked my 3 children and 1 is a Graphic designer, 1 is a teacher and 1 is an accountant. They did not become violent and have children have their own. We need to spank and maybe we would not have so many people in jail.
R. Smith on May 26, 2011:
The lady is right on Target. I couldn't have said it better!
Mrs. J. B. from Southern California on May 24, 2011:
Chris: My Mom had a paddle that said FOR THE CUTE LITTLE DEAR WITH THE BARE BEHIND... It was not even a quarter inch thick but when you got it. Pink butt, cries and you learned. I am telling you I grew up in the 60's, my Mom would be in PRISON by now...
Awhile back when my son was 15 he mouthed off to his Dad. My husband cuffed him in the back of the head.. My son???? He called LAPD on 911... I came flying down the hall and said well you don't want to know but LAPD called back.. I answered the phone. They wanted to know where my husband hit him... OKAY??? I told the truth, he cuffed in the back of the head. NOW if I had said the face.. my husband would have gone to jail for taking shit and pardon me shit from a 15 year old... SO what rights do parents have? AT 15 ummm time out is gone... So what is a parent to do when a child has 911 on speed dial???
David on May 10, 2011:
Most of the commentors are all too young to remember what it was like in the 30' to 50's era. Most of you have never been givin a real spanking. Most have never known what a belt or a razor strap feels like at 30+ lashes. Most don't know what being grounded is or have ever heard of it.
Most, the reason I say most is because most that are reading this are from the wrong generation. Most are the product of the parents' product. So, most do not remember when our wonderful government took away all of the rights from parents in the face of saving some child's ass from turning red.
Knuckles from a backhand are pretty good attention getters. The button of the bill'd hat gets the attention as well. A strong stern look is all it took some kids to know that either shape up or meet the meat grinder (butt red time).
My oldest daughter thought she was the wave of the future, like all of you reading this, including mr. sobf. She had the No spanking rule. No one spanks her child. So, that went on for about 2 years and then one night her child was punching all the wrong buttons.
She was staying with us while some repairs were being done on her house.
That kid was punching mom's buttons to the max, even breast feeding wasn't making the kid behave. Finally, she'd had enough! WHACK! (the huge diaper took most of the punishment, noise was loud on that diaper) Wow! what a much different acting child.
Wife looked at me and said, "So much for the no spanking rule". I had to laugh.
By the way, her child knows what a spanking is and what a mouth spanking is. (slap/tap basically)
She is very well mannered and is most of the time very respectful at age 3 1/2. Knows how to say Thank-you, No Thank-you, Yes Mame, No Sir.
My daughter, I raised her with respect. I slapped her mouth one time for Lying to me, to date at age 39, that I know of, she's never lied to me again. It mentally hurt me worse than it did her.
She and her brother knew what bare butt spankings were. I as a kid hated the razor strap. So, I made up in my mind that my kids would get it differently.
I ALWAYS used my bare hand on a bare butt. That way I felt what they felt. And No bruises or welts were left.
They turned out okay and are respectful.
Too bad all of you didn't get what was coming. Most think if a person speak about the bible, right away they think religion.
WEll, if you smart asses think like that, show me a religion in the bible, ain't found one yet...
amanda on April 20, 2011:
I remember one time when I was younger I threatened my parents with cps. Well I got locked outside and told that I can call them so they can pick me up but that it wouldn't be from the house phone. I never mentioned cps again. My parents did a great job raising me. I always had that nagging voice or reminder if I did something wrong I would be spanked. Having thoses thoughts helped me make the right choices. I love my parents and always respected them. Them spanking me didn't change that like so many of these so called professionals say it does. My kids have been taught they have a list of punishment that I go through depending on how bad the behavior is. First I add extra chores then it goes to wall sits (they sit against a wall like they are using a chair but there isn't one) its pretty tough but giving them outstanding muscles isn't going to kill them then comes spanking... I rarely have to get to spanking because they both hate wall sits. ;)
DisciplineDad on April 18, 2011:
Children are different and the parents know them best. I personally believe in using the rod when it is necessary. The problem I am having is with my wife. She don't want to use the rod and when I discipline my kids she minimize it. For example, if I tell my kids to clean up they would start crying and she does the clean up. This causes them to lose respect for me and call for the rod at times when I wouldn't need to use it if she was behind me. She things that she is doing good but then the kids have no respect for her and she needs to call me in at times to help her out when it gets to her head. Right now I have to take over the homework because my daughter will not listen to her.
Lisa on April 05, 2011:
I was never spanked as a child. I stayed out of trouble as a teenager and I grew up to become a successful hardworking mother of three. I have never lifted a hand towards any of my children. They do not get into trouble in school, they have exceptionally good grades and they are respectful towards grown-ups. My teenager thinks I'm a strict mum and I do have rules, but so far I have never had to enforce them through spanking. I believe black-mailing, spanking or humiliting children is awful. And I consider myself and my children living proof that there are other ways.
charlene on April 02, 2011:
there is a a difference between abuse and discipline. parents who discipline their children love their children. parents who lets their children negotiate with them don't want to see their children grow into great adults. our children are going to grow up and make the world we live in a better place if they are taught how to better adults. children are taught and learn what they see from what happens around them.
Jayen on March 30, 2011:
Hey, I'm actually a 14 year old kid, and I was reading this because I was researching stuff for a paper. My opinion is that more kids need to be spanked, I was when I was little, it did no physical harm whatsoever and successfully embedded into my head what I should and shouldn't do. It really helped me in the end, I've got no referrals on my permanent school records and I've stayed out of trouble. Sadly, this isn't the case for a lot of kids in my school, and they get in trouble constantly because they aren't taught any better. My dad didn't live with us though, so I can see why you are having a hard time because there is interference in the home. Words just don't get across as easily as spankings, if it did, a lot of bad situations could have been avoided, so I agree, spank that kid!! Tell him that when he calls CPS, they will take him to a bad family that will treat him cruelly, its what my mom said to me, and I never even thought twice about calling them once in my life!
sam on January 07, 2011:
I am so glad someone has said it I agree with everything you say and feel completely relieved im not the only one thinking these things my 9yr old daughter is so out of line lately completely ignoring any thing I say walking all over me when I say no she will do it anyway and knows her rights tries to tell me I cant smack her well guess what im sick of my blood pressure boiling im sick of yelling and screaming and still being ignored im pulling my belt back out and its going to be martial law in my house cos I can't handle it anymore I haven't busted my arse to give these kids everything they want and need to be treated with such disrespect if i had of spoken to my parents the way she speaks to me i would have been flogged with the belt,it's either that or a foster home im a single parent and can't have my kids walking all over me for their own safety which they are too young to understand even though they know everything and always know better (my arse.) it's a daily battle thats not getting any easier from everything to showering brushing teeth doing homework and picking up after self not asking for an organ. just trying to teach them the right way to live. I have a 2yr old im trying to teach to manage tantrums and behaviour not at all possible while my 9yr old is behaving like an abnocious teenager still throwing 2yr old tantrums herself. Give parents back their rights to teach children respect as the children are the future and im frightened for society there are so many kids around that wont get up and give an old lady a seat but instead will more than likely hit her over the head and take her handbag or spit on her. I blame childrens services for this GIVE US BACK OUR RIGHTS TO PARENT AND TAKE THE ABUSIVE PARENTS TO JAIL INSTEAD OF HANDING THEM BACK TO THE ABUSERS TO END UP DEAD.
kingsessing on December 28, 2010:
chris , I am sort of in the same boat! I live wife my two kids and their mother. Every time I discipline my kids (not even spanking), the mother starts this big fight about it. Funny thing is the SMALL discipline that I dole out is over things like , cleaning up after yourself , doing homework on time ect.. When I was ten , no one had to tell me to do these things , and if they did you might have been in for some trouble!
just me on November 17, 2010:
Isin't interresting that violence has become more prevelant with children more than any other time? First I do think it is the lack of dicipline the children receive. I DO believe in what the bible teaches, Spare the rod, spoil the child. Now it is to the point where putting them in the corner is bad! Children are tip-toed around so much that they really DO have control of the situation. You hear Mom's out in public saying "please, please be quiet." If my kid were cryin in the store I would take them out to the car or bathroom and spank them. But not to long ago I remember hearing about a woman who did that very thing. She took her "bad" kid out to the car gave her a spanking and took the child back into the store. Because they had survaliance (sp) at that store someone from the company seen what was going on and called the police and the woman was arrested!!! I am sure that if you were to take a poll from the people that were in that store they would have all appreciated the Mom for taking the "bad" child out and disiplining her...Punish the Parent's who go overboard and BEAT their children but don't take away a Parent's GOD GIVEN right to use the rod! Also wasn't their a study done showing that children need "immediant" stimmulation to grasp the importance of a situation? If my child is going to run out into the street I would rather spank them for trying to do so than to say, "If you do that again your going to go into time out." And then because they didn't grasp the importance of the situation they test your boundaries and end up running into the street, get ran over and if not killed they will experience way more pain than if the parent had just spanked them.
But this is just my opinion!
Geawiel on October 05, 2010:
I'm so tired of the government telling us that we can't spank our kids! Its so bad that my wife argues with me over spanking our kids because she's terrified someone will "turn us in" for spanking our kids on the butt. She doesn't spank and all 3 of our kids don't listen to her at all now. Its too bad we can't take this to a higher court and fight it.
Matt on October 05, 2010:
Parents just need to grab a switch and beat the hell outta their child! They have it easy now n days!
Clara Njekam on September 23, 2010:
This is a very interesting hubpage. We parents have to teach our children the good values of life even if it means spanking them for them to be discipline.
Dchosen_01 on August 23, 2010:
Spear the rod and spoil the child. Train up a child in the way he should go and when he grows, he shall never depart from it. Sometimes children could be stubborn and annoyingly adventurous. If we do not treat them with a metal hand (but in love) they can easily go astray. Everything is about upbringing. Right from when the child is an infant, show and tell him the importance of been its parent. accentuate your values as a parent to him, then even when you discipline the child, he stays corrected. THis happens more with the white community, because the black community in the US, do not take shit from their children. If spanking is necessary, they do it with all pleasure, damn whatever the child thinks! A Scream alone is enough scare....
Good work and a wonderful hub.
christalluna1124 (author) from Dallas Texas on May 13, 2010:
George and renae,
Thanks for taking time to read the hub. I still feel parents should be allowed to disipline their children using corporal punishment as should teachers. there is a line between didipline and abuse and I really feel most parents would not cross it. I for one feel your are doping your child no favor by sparing the rod.
renae on April 19, 2010:
I agree 100% that children need to be disciplined by spanking. I got it when I was a child, and it didn't kill me. this not spanking thing, is costing this nation greatly. I have raised 3 of the little darlings and I corrected them. the last one will turn 18 soon, thank God , thank God , thank God. I will be dancing an Irish Jig.
NO more having to put up with back talk, no more fighting about homework, no more arguing about what time they should be home. I will finally have a life again after 32 years of brats. It would have been better if God had made me barren. I have been widowed twice and it's been tough being a single mother. Stand your grounds Chris. Good Luck.
George J Hardy from Southern New Jersey on March 21, 2010:
From one who did his best to get an ass whipping as a child , I can tell you now that looking back on all the stuff I had done, I really deserved what I got. My mother actually stopped me from doing worse and today I suffer no consequence because of the " board of education ". Good Hub Chris; your husband needs to grow up and admit that he is a parenting failure and an ignorant person to boot.
God Bless !
christalluna1124 (author) from Dallas Texas on March 07, 2010:
I am sorry to disagree with you on this point. But after years as a correctional officer I think what kids these days need is to have parenting put back into the hands of the parents. A spanking never hurt anyone I have ever known. It does not breed violence, but respect. This is something I don't see in this generation.
christalluna1124 (author) from Dallas Texas on March 07, 2010:
I have often wondered the same thing. maybe if the role of parenting was put back in the hands of the parent, the juvenile facility would not be so full and our children would not be dying on the streets or languishing in prison, because they have no regard for society's rules or respect for human life. Everyday I read the paper in Dallas, one child has killed another. I don't want this to become the standards we become accustomed too.
Warmest regards, Chris
christalluna1124 (author) from Dallas Texas on March 07, 2010:
Great to see you again. yep, that one works most definitely. I tell him no problem, i will dial the number for you and when I go to jail, you go to juvenile, noxbox no room of your own, none of the things I give you.
SOBF from New York, NY on March 05, 2010:
Chris I was also raised in a house the used spanking as a form of behavior correction, but I also know through experience that any type of aggressive behavior begets aggressive behavior. I am sure that all research done on criminal characteristics would find those trained by the hand more likely to become part of the incarceration society, not the other way around.
My point was that if you got the support you needed from the father, spanking would not have to be an option.
Williamjordan from Houston TX on March 05, 2010:
I agree but I often wonder why the same cops that arrest us for abuse can Gun them down
christalluna1124 (author) from Dallas Texas on March 05, 2010:
In no way did i suggest a beating or the use of violence. I am however From the generation that believe tha a spanking does not hurt the child and when all other alternatives have failed is necessary. the fact that he can walk all over his father is not a sign that I will allow such behavior towards me. In my carrer as a correctional officer I have seen too many children who were sapred the rod (hand) and are now awaiting transfer to an adult facility in the Department of Corrections.
SOBF from New York, NY on March 05, 2010:
Chris well written hub and I can feel the frustrations you are going through, however I have always had a problem with grown people who are unable to deal with the mind of a child without the use of violence. I have found that children are more capable of understanding verbal direction and reprimand than adult’s credit them. It seems that your problem in reaching your stepson is more a problem with your husband more so than the child, resulting in negative behavior by the child. You suggest that the child receive beatings because the father is unable to understand his role as a parent. Behaviors are learned both bad and good.
Tammy Lochmann on March 04, 2010:
CPS will only take him out of the home away from his parents. Tell him that...My kids get really scared about that. I tell them if they don't behave then the police will take them away because it makes me look like a bad parent. Even my 9 year old believes that one.
christalluna1124 (author) from Dallas Texas on March 03, 2010:
Thanks for reading and for your comment. I do not like to spank my child but at times it is necessary. I got my behind whipped many times growing up and the children of my generation we as you said much more respectful and responsible. Regardless of the view the state takes, a parent knows their child best. I would rather be locked than to be ruled by my children.
Karla Domanski from Cadillac, Michigan on March 03, 2010:
SPOT ON! EVery parent should understand the difference between spanking and beating and when necessary, SPANK. There are times a "time out" works very well, but there are MANY times what a kid really needs is a spanking. In some places, even physically moving or restraining is considered abuse -- as in dragging a kid home after they left while they were grounded... Parents should not have to be afraid to discipline and kids should always know parents and other authority figures MEAN what they say. It worked for my mother's generation on back and who the heck has any right to call them all child abusers? The truth is that people used to be respectful and while I recall people shaking their heads when I was a teen and bemoaning "teenagers", even me and my friends were much more responsible, respectful and educated (we went to school and had to pay attention in class... we didn't pass without working for it) than many kids growing up today. I'm a little scared for us as we get older, but honestly, I feel sorry for the kids who are not going to understand boundaries and end up lost.
christalluna1124 (author) from Dallas Texas on March 03, 2010:
Feel free to leave a comment....I don't offend easily.