There are poor people, the lazy cheaters who steal from society, and there are the noble, job-creating, rich people in America. We all have our place, and it’s nice to see that the American people are willing to stay in theirs and push people down where they belong. I am also happy to see so many poor recognize what unworthy rat droppings they are, willingly eating the lies they are fed or too uneducated to resist. Moreover, it always warms my heart to hear people criticize the poor for being poor. It means cutting the meager welfare they get will be easier. Moreover, the more the public looks at the poor as the root of our economic problems, the more corporate welfare I can get without anyone noticing or doing anything about it.
It’s survival of the fittest that creates the natural balance between the rich and the poor in America. We billionaires will do everything we can to make sure this balance is maintained by taking the wealth of this great nation as our own while paying as little as possible for the lucre we accumulate from the labor and resources of this great nation.
Ayn Rand and Rand Paul, Milton and Thomas Friedman, David and Charles Koch, and other experts on economics would agree with me when I say poverty is the fault of the poor. They are the afterbirth of an aborted stillborn ape. Being less than rich is their fault, there really aren’t poor people in America, and the government shares the blame if they are poor.
Billionaires promote personal responsibility. This includes consumer spending. I know that if the bastard poor only consumed more, they wouldn't be poor. I also know that Congress passes tax laws that benefit the wealthy while they pass cuts to education and food stamp funding and raise costs at universities and hospitals. And it's the poor’s fault we cut social spending.
Let's not forget that while Congress keeps passing themselves raises (cost of living adjustments), the minimum wage has failed to keep up with inflation. In the end, poor people are to blame if the minimum wage is low. A COLA (cost-of-living adjustment) increase for Congressional pay was passed in 1987. Now Congress automatically gets a pay raise unless they take action to cancel it. Can you imagine Congress taking action on anything, especially to cut their own pay raises?
Now, why haven't you gotten your own COLA through Congress? It's not our fault real wages for most Americans, wages compared to inflation, are going down. Don’t come begging to us when you want a pay raise. The free market sets wages, and it’s when the government interferes with the market rate of wages that we’re vulnerable to terrorism.
The problem with the Poor
Dr. Walter E. Williams, a black man and economist, agrees. He says, “If you're a poor adult in America, for the most part, it's all your fault. That's true, at least today, whether you're black, white, brown or polka dot”.
Not only are you to blame for being poor, you’re not really poor after all. According to Robert E. Rector and Kirk Johnson, PhD. (Understanding Poverty in America), the poor in America really aren’t poor. They have stats to prove it, and those stats come from the government. According to the authors, of the 35 million people in “poverty” in the United States:
46% of the “poor” own their own home.
66% of the “poor” have air conditioning. Heck, I, Tex, have air conditioning, so they must be living high on the hog.
Almost 75% of the “poor” own a car and 30% of them own two cars. As Reagan once said, “Welfare mothers drive Cadillacs.”
75% of these households own a color television. When are the poor going to watch TV between their two jobs?
62% have cable or satellite TV reception. What Mr. Rector and Johnson fail to point out is that most of these poor folk stole the cable access.
The “poor” even own microwaves, 73%; stereos, more than 50%; and a third have an automatic dishwasher.
When you add up all the above percents, you have 46% (homeowners) +66% (air conditioning) +75% (Cars) +75% (Color TV) +73% (microwaves) +50% (dishwasher). That’s way over 100%. In fact, it tells us that 385 percent of these families really aren’t poor because they own these luxury items.
As you now know, there are no more poor in the United States. When the government says they’re 35 million poor households in this country, that’s just not true. Look at all the fancy things the poor own. Color TVs and microwaves are a sure sign of opulence as much as having a jet, an island, a yacht, vacation homes in Switzerland and Bermuda, or a job that pays more than minimum wage. And 50% own a dishwasher, because they are so lazy!
Only until you are on death's door are you poor in my book. Well, not even then. Just because you don't have full time work, have to sell plasma to pay rent and can't always afford a meal doesn't mean you are poor, especially if you have a car you can't afford the gas for.
Besides, it’s their fault if they are poor. The poor should have a big P tattooed on their forehead so the rest of us can avoid them on the street. The poor should also have to register at local police stations like sex offenders. Why we have to look at the lazy, irresponsible, heathen poor at all is beyond me. As a man of Christ, the poor repulse me.
Bad Behavior: Real Reasons the Poor are Poor
According to the 1990 U.S. Census Bureau and the Institute for Policy Innovation, the causes of poverty are behavioral, economical, and medical. Behavioral decisions were found as the leading cause of poverty with 64% of the respondents, 21% for economic conditions and 15% said they were poor due to illness or disability. There you are. If the poor behaved better, they wouldn’t be poor. You see, they are misbehaving, and thus we have no need to care about them, for they aren’t really human. When you see the homeless or poor, do as Jesus would do: turn the other cheek.
Liberals think social factors like childhood and spousal abuse, parental drug addiction, growing up poor, mental illness, bad schools, lack of education or job skills, racial, sexual, and age discrimination, drug riddled neighborhoods, gun violence, low wages, unemployment, jobs moving overseas, lack of jobs, rising health-care costs, lack of job training, lack of adult education, racial redlining and what not have something to do with poverty. They’re wrong. It’s just that the poor are bad apples that make bad decisions.
Poor families stay poor, so why did they choose to start there? Haven’t the heard about The Secret? Just visualize yourself out of poverty if you’re poor.
As a child, when you choose to go to public schools instead of paying the paltry $15,000 a year for a cheap private school, you’ll be poor.
If you stay in a poor neighborhood when there are better ones to live in for twice the rent, you’ll be poor.
If people would accept Jesus into their heart, they would accept their fate and stop calling themselves poor. That, in turn, would reduce the official number of poor in the United States.
If you studied medicine, you wouldn’t be poor; moreover, you wouldn’t have to pay expensive doctors’ or hospital bills.
If you would stop being Black or Latino, you might not be poor. Why do people insist on belonging to a racial minority that is known for being poor?
If you voted Republican, you wouldn’t be poor. Why do you think the rich are rich? They vote Republican. Voting Republican makes you better off.
There's Something Wrong with You, Now Go Shopping
Another reason people are poor is how they consume, or they lack to consume. We are a consumer society, and we do everything to protect the consumer. Consumers spend trillions of dollars in the United States every year. Consumers are so important for creating wealth and getting out of poverty that consumers have been protected in several ways:
1. Bankruptcy laws have been passed to protect consumers against predatory bankruptcy laws.
2. Minimum wage has been kept at a minimum to keep inflation down for consumers and create more wealth while reducing poverty.
3. Jobs have been sent overseas to keep prices low on consumer goods, reducing poverty and protecting consumers.
4. Mercury standards for our water supply have been relaxed to keep energy prices low for consumers and thus helping the poor.
5. Canadian pharmaceuticals have been stopped at the border to prevent dangerous Canadian socialist medicines infecting our population and hurting the poor struggling U.S. drug companies. Thus, consumers are protected against socialism and the people are safe to spend more for their drugs.
6. Many schools have protected the future of our economy by allowing advertising in school
classrooms and hallways. By creating a fresh batch of consumers at an early age, the demand for products is higher, and prices for these products stay low.
7. We’ve reduced safety regulations at amusement parks to keep the cost of entry into the Magic Kingdom low for consumers.
8. Tort reform protects corporations from accident-prone citizens and keeps prices low for consumers.
It has become clear that some of you aren’t doing your patriotic duty and spending your heart out, even though if you consumed more you could be more. Well, let me tell those liberals out there that it is the role of all warm-blooded Americans to spend. If you know someone who lives within their means or sticks to a budget, it is your duty to make sure that their consumption increases.
And remember dear Americans, if you’re poor, it’s your fault. So stop blaming a lack of jobs, low wages, a bad economy, underfunded or defunded schools, racism, health-care costs, and capitalism, you worthless piece of filthy anal excrement!
Scott Belford from Keystone Heights, FL on April 13, 2017:
I had to read the comments to make sure this was sarcasm because it sounded so much like I have read from the alt-Right. Your hub did manage to cover all of their standard talking points.
H Lax on February 18, 2017:
Very well written and great research. It boggles my mind that so many people kick the poor while they're down at all but also without at the very least kicking the system that works against them. They believe that people who make minimum wage need a second full time job and if they have kids they shouldn't have had them and if the kids join gangs because nobody's home with them then the parent or parents should be home with them. Newsflash to them: people can't be in two places at one time. Taking away what little help poor people get will grow crime exponentially. Those things you wrote in this hub are exactly the things I've heard people saying with sincerity and it sickens me. Thanks for putting a little sass in it.
Besarien from South Florida on February 09, 2016:
This was well-done! I do wonder how close this is to what a lot of people running for President right now really think?
Helen Stuart from Deep in the Heart of Texas on November 10, 2015:
I was so happy to see this was satire. You never know these days, there are some hateful and stupid people out there, many under the banner of 'church Christian'. (not real Christian) In a way this is scarier than Swift's "A Modest Proposal" because I don't think anyone (tuna) thought he was serious or supported him in cooking babies.
justmesuzanne from Texas on October 21, 2015:
Well done! Voted up and shared! :D
texshelters (author) from Mesa, Arizona on May 22, 2015:
Yes. Unfortunately, many rich, mostly white Republicans, actually believe this.
craziefuzi on May 20, 2015:
is this satire?
texshelters (author) from Mesa, Arizona on September 22, 2014:
Thanks. Good luck on the job!
idaho sucks on September 21, 2014:
I love it, reminds me of my boss's spoiled rotten asshole son (MATT HARPER) Burley, Idaho. He has a company vehicle, phone, gas card, insurance, credit card all paid by the company. Then he has the nerve to say we (the dumbass poor losers who work like slaves to support his entitled, lazy, sorry ass) don't know how to manage money, or budget properly. Thanks for that, it was great.
dirty south on July 14, 2014:
Poverty is because prices are too high and wages for unskilled labor is too low. People that work at fast food and retail gotta live too!
texshelters (author) from Mesa, Arizona on April 08, 2014:
Thanks Tuna, I guess.
Tuna on April 07, 2014:
The only thing I hate more than fat people are poor people.
Sanctuary on January 25, 2014:
Hardly touches the subject but a awesome hub. I love the part of how all the poor people are Socialist if they need assistance to live. Rather then accept the fact that Capitalism is not working at the bottom they act like the poor belong to some imaginary party. In truth its the romans throwing bread at the problem of starvation. The first rise above poverty is to only be more hungry as your rise in income removes you from all assistance. I do not think these people are clueless, I think its all deliberate. The economy did not get here with out complete disregard for people and a lack of knowledge, no one can be that dumb. The rich only got richer and that proves a lot.
texshelters (author) from Mesa, Arizona on November 26, 2013:
Erick Adamantine on November 24, 2013:
Haha. Thanks for this well put together hub. It really puts into perspective the absurdity of it all. A great blend of sarcasm and valid points.
texshelters (author) from Mesa, Arizona on November 24, 2013:
Exactly. But right-wingers who want to cut benefits to the poor say it is a luxury. I live in AZ, for my mom, it's a life saver.
texshelters (author) from Mesa, Arizona on November 24, 2013:
ha ha. Thanks Mark. PTxS
cathylynn99 from northeastern US on November 23, 2013:
for a person with heart or lung problems, air conditioning is the difference between life and death. I don't see how it can be called a luxury.
Mark Lees on November 23, 2013:
Great hub but I think you could have used just a touch more irony and sarcasm in there.
Nice to see somebody writing about important issues.