Check Your Bank Account Babygirl!
Your sugar daddy, Donald Trump got you $1200 earlier this year. But after you spent your $1200 on the taxes for your new Kia Soul, your first gun, and a bottle of Dom Perignon you were suddenly broke like the rest of us irresponsible Americans. Your dead beat (and soon to be ex) sugar daddy didn't come through in time for your first car payment and you took it straight to the ballot box (or your mail box).
Sugar momma Nancy Pelosi was proud you voted Trump out! After the Electoral College confirmed the choice you had already made, she hooked you up with a Christmas bonus. And you won't get it until after Christmas! Great... It was so kind of her to take care of you with that awesome and bountiful stimulus check of..... Drumroll........... 600?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Congress, Senate, Trump, Biden, etc.. Pay Your Child Support!
600? 600? 600? We've been begging for a stimulus package for half a year now and all we get is $600? Help! The Treasury has fallen and it can't get up! Well great. I guess we're all alone in this world. Every family is struggling and going into debt so Nancy and Mitch decide to send us $600. Awesome. I know I speak for everyone when I say that America isn't looking for a handout here. We're looking for opportunity. We want the virus behind us so we can go back to work and feel safe at work but until we get there we need some kind of assistance. You can't just shut down the bars, nightclubs, and restaurants and expect restaurant workers, bartenders, ride-share drivers, and small businesses to survive. Sheesh. Let me send my landlord that $600 and hear him laugh. He has a great chuckle you know? So now that our credit cards are maxed out lets put a band-aid on it shall we? Stay tuned, next month we have to start paying our student loans back out of our meager unemployment checks. I guess we can all just start living in tents. There is a great little tent Hooverville in my city. We can all work together to clean up all the needles and used condoms and make a nice little community out of it. We could even have our own HOA in certain parts of the Hooverville where your tent has to be a certain size and you can't work on your cars that the repo guys are trying to scope out.
You should be happy to know that Corporate America scored big again this stimulus season. The stimulus bill totals $900 billion and regular Americans like you and me are taking home about 200 billion (about 22%). Oh and guess what. We'll pay 100% of it through taxes, our labor to the corporate greed-wads, and from whatever they take when we die and as usual we won't do anything about it so why even complain?
We Should Always Count Our Blessings
I'm sure this $600 will be helpful to some. I have a lot of debt I need to pay off right now. $600 barely puts a dent in it. But I can't complain too much. It's something. I talked to a lady earlier today about the stimulus and she was so excited. When I told her she immediately yelled "YES LORD!" Some people could really use this money. It's definitely going to help me. I wish that the government could have sent this before Christmas because Santa Claus caught the Coronavirus before he could make it to a lot of kids houses this year but I guess voters can't be choosers. If you were able to make Christmas happen this year just remember the ones who have been able to in the past but couldn't this year. It's sad to think about all the children who weren't able to receive Christmas gifts. Think of all the Christmas charities that normally provide for these children that we couldn't donate to because we could barely take care of our own this year. We are blessed to have this $600 and if you don't need the money send it to a family in need or donate it to charity. You can also send it to me and I will make sure it is disposed of properly. $jeffv1993 is my Cashapp.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2020 Jeff Vickery