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Things That the Queen Does That Will Shock You

Shining in The Glory of God.The earth is the Lord and the fullness thereof. We have no made ourselves but are the image of something greater

Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II

Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II

Queen Elizabeth II, was conceived by King George VI and Queen Elizabeth, she was born in 1926 and became Queen at the age of 25. Queen Elizabeth II has reigned through more than five decades of enormous social change and development. Prince Phillip, the Duke of Edinburgh, fancied this royal mare and sought her hand in marriage. They got real busy later on and smashed out four children and eight grandchildren. The Queen as been admired by many persons around the world, what is most noticeable is her ever changing hat catalog, her well fitted commanding suites and her everlasting supply of gloves.

There are many things that we don't know about the Queen of England, or given the rightful title, the Boss of the World, "World Boss." People flock to see their queen and are so in shock and awe at everything that the queen does and says that even if she shouts "give me all your children and i will "de-blood them", everyone will simply clap. The royalty and prestige that is bestowed upon her makes us wonder if she is even human. Could it be possible, could the Queen really be extra terrestrial? Well, honestly i really don't think so, but i think the pedestal that government and people put her on makes it seems like she is above humans and as such not capable of doing some of the wacky or disgusting things that we do or has happened to us, well lets take some shocking look at some of the things the Queen does that will literally shock the bones out of you.

The Queen does Wipe Her butt

The Queen does Wipe Her butt

Excrete Waste and Clean Up

I am quite sure that the Queen likes to indulge in fine food. I am also certain that she does not have to venture too far to have this meal, as the Buckingham palace comes equipped with its own chefs and stocked pile with the best of the best quality of foods. Whether it be fruits, vegetables, pasta, meats or wine, you can be sure that the queen has had it all. Everyone is quite familiar with the process of digestion, but if for some reason you hid behind the bushes smoking pot when you were supposed to be in biology class here is a quick and basic synopsis: - Food is placed in the mouth, the food is chewed and swallowed, the food goes into your intestine where stomach acid breaks it down even further, all nutrients are absorbed by the body and then what is considered waste, moves to the bowels, then the body triggers the bowel to be emptied. This process does not end there, after the body triggers the bowel to be emptied, the person then visits the toilet and excretes the waste.

This is a normal bodily function and since the Queen is still considered human, i declare that the Queen must pass waste and as such must clean her own butt.

Queen Picking Her Nose

Queen Picking Her Nose

Picking Her Nose

This is no joking matter, Mucus sometimes gets lodged and dried up in our nasal passage and the brain then triggers a natural response by the human body. That response is simply the brain telling the hand to lift and insert one finger in the nose and begin picking. Sometimes we do it unnoticeable while at other times we are locked in our subconscious mind and subliminally beginning picking at our nose. With the flick of a wrist, dried mucus or some Jamaicans know it as "boogu", is flicked from the finger. Since picking the nose is natural in all humans, I declare that the Queen has picked her nose.

Hot Food Spit or Wind In Mouth

We all love a nice warm meal, some nice fried chicken and rice and kidney beans with some calla loo and a nice glass of beetroot juice. In all the years that have past, i am sure that this has happened to most if not all food eaters. Your food comes to you and you underestimate it's temperature. You are hungry and has become a food junkie and cannot wait to get your mouth chewing, you dip in your food and take a big input to your mouth and then surprised by how hot the food really is and have no choice but to spit it back out or try to what i call "Wind In" your mouth. "Wind in" is when hot food is in your mouth and you open your mouth and practice pregnant breathing delivery techniques, you breath in and out quickly through you mouth allowing you hot food to cool for chewing. I declare that the Queen has spat out hot food or has done the Wind In mouth technique.

Tripped and fell

Tripped and fell

Tripped and Fell

No matter how suttle you are, you may even be walking on clouds. I am most certain that at one point in your life you have actually tripped and fell or nearly fell. There are so many obstacle that surround us on a daily basis that more people die from tripping and falling than being attacked by sharks. Tripping is another aspect of human anomalies that must happen as long as you are a vivid limb moving human being. You will trip, you can even be tripped by your own foot. Since tripping and falling is just another clumsy human attribute, I declare that the Queen has tripped and fell



Let it Rip

I am sure that this is one action that the Queen must do in order to ease herself. This is another natural bodily action that helps us to excrete gasses from our bowels. Flatulate means to expel intestinal gas through the anus. There is a saying some people use when excreting these natural gasses "Let one Rip". Since flatulating is a normal bodily function, I declare that the Queen has "Let one Rip"

So before you Place the Queen in categories like Zeus, remember that she is a simple human being just like you and i whom as the same bodily urges like us.

© 2014 Clive Williams


MG Singh emge from Singapore on April 04, 2020:

Clive, I just read this article by you written years back. In my view, the queen is an anachronism in the 21st century and this monarchy is best abolished and made history.

Gadfly from Olde London Towne on October 21, 2019:


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Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on August 04, 2018:

Ian, what pride....?

Ian Stuart Robertson from London England on August 04, 2018:

She kept Donald Duck oops i mean Trump waiting on his visit to Windsor. I'll wager that hurt his pride !

Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on August 01, 2018:

I am sure she uses some of that CHARISMA in her kids soups.

Aldem. on August 01, 2018:

I've been inside Buckingham Palace (Buck house) when the state rooms have been open to the public. However the Queen was not in residence at the time. However i've seen 'Her Maj.' as she has been driven passed me, a few times now. She has CHARISMA !

Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on July 31, 2018:

Ian Stuart...That is pretty interesting. Maybe she has three souls in one body/

Ian Stuart Robertson from London England on July 31, 2018:

The Queen has some unusual nicknames ; when learning to talk she called herself 'Lillibet'. Some 20 years ago, the satyrical mag 'Private Eye' deemed Her Majesty a common name 'Brenda'. Not often used but in a metaphorical sense Gloriana is an alternative.

Aldem. on July 30, 2018:

God save the Queen.

Aldem. on July 28, 2018:

One more particular quirk of our Queen is her aversion to the game of baseball (It's simply 'not cricket'. Her Maj. even went so far as to ban Simon & Garfunkle's Mrs Robinson from the palace because of a reference to Joe Di Maggio.


Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on July 27, 2018:

Ian, thats good...But I can say the alphabet backwards in three languages.

Ian Stuart Robertson from London England on July 27, 2018:

Merrie we meet.

I was surprised that The Queen is an accomplished eukelalie player. self taught and her favourite strum. Dueling Banjo's.


the Limpet.

Alfy Jhonson on March 01, 2018:

I liked that information about the queen

Smokey on July 21, 2017:

The queen can clean her own clinkers like the rest of us

Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on September 15, 2016:

@MizVixi, times change

MizVixi on September 15, 2016:

The queen has to wipe her own butt? How the times have changed! Henry VIII had 4 guys, called "Grooms of the Stool" who actually vied for the honor of doing that for him. Really, it was considered an honor.

Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on January 09, 2015:

@mk-globetrotter, its humor, humor does not really carry any point, the OBJECTION is to put a smile on someones face bro.

christinemariezzz on November 12, 2014:

(LOL) daily sweats don't compare...that comment cracks me up, but how do we know, that being human she also may wear pink sweats- just saying...this is such a fun hub to go back too and read the comments..

Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on November 11, 2014:

Thanks frank, thanks christinemariezz, Arachnea, how was the read?

christinemariezzz on November 11, 2014:

Nice vignette of comedy, separating well the red and white of what your audience may choose to only see as pink!- I like it!

Tanya Jones from Texas USA on November 11, 2014:

I've got to read this one. I'll be back later. Love the pink she's wearing. My daily sweats don't compare. Looks like a great hub.

Frank Atanacio from Shelton on November 11, 2014:

The queen is human doing normal human things.. but I have to admit even though she's just a figure head she should do these things when out of the camera's way.. good hub my friend.. bless you

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