Peacekeepers: Who They are and What are Their Roles?
In the world of law enforcement, police wives are known to be peacekeepers. Keeping a balanced life is vital to having a healthy family. We avoid confrontation, but at the same time, we live with boundaries. Like any wife, we support our spouse one hundred percent. Unfortunately, because of our spouse's career, not everyone we know and love will have the same opinions on what is morally or politically just. We understand not everyone comprehends what our officer goes through when he/she signs on duty. It is a police wife's job to ensure the people in our lives are respected and loved, and that requires a great deal of sacrifice. We stand strong for our brothers/sisters in blue, stay positive, give love, and make a mental note not to take anything personally. Police wives do their part to make sure everyone gets along so everyone is able to live their best life possible.
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God" Mathew 5:9
Life as a Peacekeeper
Like anyone's lifestyle, being a blue wife can be an emotional rollercoaster. Our spouse works long hours and most rotate from days to nights. That makes time with our officer limited. Holidays can be spent alone and most social gatherings are spent without your significant other. I've actually been asked if I were single even while wearing my wedding ring! That's how little my spouse and myself socialize together. He gets called into work constantly due to not having enough employees or an officer getting killed while working, which is more often than I'd like to admit. Oftentimes he arrives home late after his shift, leaving him absolutely exhausted. When we are out together as a family there are "rules" he abides by for safety. He never sits his back to the door at a restaurant in case something were to happen. He has a dark sense of humor, but that humor is what helps him get through the day so he doesn't let the bad experiences from hos job wear him down. I've also noticed myself indulging in that humor with him, and usually only with him and close family and friends who really understand what police officers go through. I've learned to keep parts of myself hidden when around certain people. Not because I'm ashamed of my lifestyle or my personality, but because I know not everyone can handle what law enforcement families go through. Having humor about the lifestyle will help keep you sane through the day, but it's important to know when to keep that humor at bay to avoid potential arguments or misunderstandings.
How to Have a Happy Home
I cannot stress the importance of making positivity in your life a priority. Get rid of negative news feed, like the news! Join online support groups. Connect with local police wives in your area. Stay active. Practice meditation. Indulge in a hobby and turn off electronics for a day. Arrange play dates with other moms. Whatever makes you feel good, do more of that. What make me forget about the awful things in this world is reading. It's a great escape from reality, and can let us travel when we have to stay were we are. My favorites are law enforcement devotionals. I also enjoy writing about the topics I love. I have a poetry blogging website I can get creative in, and that really helps me stay happy. Keeping myself happy and healthy helps me to take care of my family better. Not only is my well being important to my officer, but to my children as well. I try to arrange a babysitter once a month so my husband and I can have a date day without the kids. It's important to continue to date your husband to keep the spark flying between husband and wife. We have a lot of family days when my officer is home. A lot of that time will be lazy movie days with the kids, which is great, but I also try to get us all out of the house by at least going to the park or visiting a family member. I also make certain nobody holds their feelings inside. Nobody wants an explosion. We have a rule to speak up when something is bothering us, but in a calm and rational manner. Being heard is important, but it's also important to express your feelings with a logical mindset.
How to Deal with Negative People
Let's be honest. There's always at least one person that doesn't approve of your life choices. We have to learn to be alright with that, especially in a law enforcement household. Sometimes, no matter how positive we are, it feels like some people live to tear us down. We can't make everyone happy all at once. I've learned to take a step back from the people bringing myself and my family down because of the career my husband is in. Limiting interaction with specific people is not necessarily a bad thing. Our goal is to ensure everyone gets along and reduce stress, so we spend the most time with people who lift us up. We don't talk about tender subjects with acquaintances, and that includes law enforcement. If someone we know is insistent about getting our opinion on something we know will cause conflict, I simply state I'm not comfortable speaking about a topic we disagree on and try to start a happier conversation. Most times people are happy to stick to pleasant conversations, but there are people who are fixated on changing our opinions to match their own. This helps me determine who is a positive person to not only be around myself and my spouse, but my children as well.