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Among his varied other writing interests, Richard Parr aspires to creating interesting and inspiring stories about life.

Can we Bare it?

Porn rentals and sales are worth many multiple billions a year in the USA

For example, for some time now Americans have been spending more on hard core pornography in its various forms than they do on going to the movies.

Those who monitor Australia's penchant to follow in the footsteps of American trends are tipping a similar development, albeit on a smaller scale.

The Social Costs of Pornography

“Those who claim pornography is harmless entertainment, benign sexual expression, or a marital aid, have clearly never sat in a therapist’s office with individuals, couples, or families who are reeling from the devastating effects of this material.”

— J. C. Manning, “The Impact of Pornography on Women: Social Science Findings and Clinical Observation

What Happened to the Outrage?

Only a few years ago it was woman, albeit mostly feminists —at least, they were the loudest— all up in arms about the debasing of their gender via the porn industry. In a few short years their voice has been drowned out by the ‘modern woman’ demanding male porn.

Did it become ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’?

Some are asking 'Is this a step forward or backward?'

Listen to any popular FM radio station long enough and you'll no doubt hear the invitation to a flesh-fest. Now-a-days, however, the invitation’s as likely for girls to view some stripping stud-muffins as it is for guys to see the bare-all babes.

The local News Agency is also reflecting society's conversion to a fetish for porn, an ever-increasing amount of publications, for guys and girls, offering the titillating glimpse of bare breast or buttock to its subscribers. A good sales tactic, or a sad sign of the times?

Even the art houses have joined the throng. A word once used disdainfully in reference to Call Girl corners and erotica printing houses, pornography is now a term associated with art; a means of expressing oneself; an assertion of sensuality for the young and aesthetic reminisce for the life-weary.

Jordan Peterson talks About Porn

What is Pornography Doing to our Society?

But the question is being asked, 'what is pornography doing to our society?' Could it, as American author Matt Adams says, be 'considered sexually healthy', a harmless means of expression. Is it meeting a need in our community or just throwing a log on the flames of degradation?

The indicators all show that sensual indulgence is becoming a central focus of our societies thinking — the changing views toward the sex industry proof of this. And although little Australian research has been done into the effects of pornography on society, considerable US and Canadian research has; the results showing that, like Australia, these countries also are obsessed with pornography.

In the US alone, porn rentals and sales in 1998 reached $4.2 billion, that's 14% of all video transactions and more than a quarter of the home-video industry's revenues. By 2006 that figure had risen to $13.3 billion. Americans spend more on hard-core pornography, telephone sex and strip clubs than they do going to the movies. Strip clubs alone generating more revenue than all other forms of live entertainment combined.

Overwhelming Evidence

Increasingly Desensitized

That Australians have become increasingly de-sensitised to pornography is evidenced by the growing proliferation of sexually hard-core magazines, and the unchallenged boldness of retailers to place them in ever more prominent locations.

A relatively few years ago in Canada, Penthouse magazine began removing the black dots from the cover. Explicit photos showing vaginal and anal penetration, oral sex -and more- are now visible to the general public without even turning a page.

Surprisingly, despite this effort to push the limits of Canada's obscenity laws, the public reaction was muted.

Scroll to Continue

What would Australia's reaction be?

Many doubt it would be any different.

As feminist, author and porn opponent, Andrea Dworkin once said. 'People don't seem to have a sense of outrage that women are hurt [by pornography], they don't seem to care.'

But there are people who do care and believe pornography is a danger to society, maybe not as blatant as the destructiveness of violence, but, they say, just as damaging in a far more subtle way.

People don't seem to have a sense of outrage that women are hurt [by pornography], they don't seem to care.

— Andrea Dworkin

Dr. Phil Fernandes

One such advocate is Dr. Phil Fernandes, who says the dangers of pornography are many.

Dr Fernandes believes pornography encourages a low level of respect for women, distorts a man's view of women to see only a sex object, rather than a human being. He says he is convinced that the high rate of sexual harassment, divorce, unwed mothers, and rape can be traced to a low view of women.

He attacks pornography, saying that it arouses a person's sexual appetite without satisfying it. 'Once sexually aroused by pornography, how will the customer satisfy his or her sexual desires?'

At best, pornography helps to produce a sexually promiscuous and irresponsible society. At worst, in extreme, though not rare cases, pornography has led some of its customers to rape and murder others in an attempt to quench their uncontrollable sexual thirsts.

— Dr. Phil Fernandes

According to Dr Fernandez, pornography also supports organised crime. Crime families from Chicago, New York, New Jersey, and Florida control and oversee the pбrnography business in Los Angeles. As far back as1975, organised crime controlled 80% of America's pornography industry.

Your Circle

Pornography and Organised Crime

Today, law enforcement experts believe that organised crime controls well over 90% of this industry throughout the world.

Pornography is also addictive, says Fernandez, emphasising this as its chief danger.

Dolina Smith, president of Canada's anti-pornography group Canadians Addressing Sexual Exploitation (CASE), says, 'We're starting to hear more and more people talking about sexual addictions… If pornography is known for what it is, how addictive and damaging it is, maybe we'll start to have changes take place.' She says.

The addictiveness of pornography is cause for some concern, for like any addiction the ever-increasing cravings require ever-increasing amounts of stimulation to satisfy.

There has to be a whole cultural shift in our thinking.' If not, then child pornography could soon end up being as socially acceptable as adult pornography. And that would be intolerable.

— Dolina Smith, president of Canadians Addressing Sexual Exploitation [CASE]

Pornography Places Children at Risk

A 1988 study by Queen's University psychologist Dr. William Marshall found that 86% of convicted rapists and 77% of convicted child molesters admitted to being regular or habitual users of pornography.

One Paul Bernardo, convicted in 1995 of kidnapping, torturing and brutally murdering two teenage girls in Ontario, one journalist said 'the most frightening realisation' was the appetite he had developed for hard-core pornography as a teenager, to the point that he eventually graduated 'from using it to doing it.' 'Bernardo's trial was, in part,' she concluded, 'a trial about pornography.'

Porn Addiction and Brain Science

Pornography damages children

And as Smith also warns, 'There has to be a whole cultural shift in our thinking.' If not, then child pornography could soon end up being as socially acceptable as adult pornography. And that, she said, would be intolerable.

So far, Australia has followed the trend of its Westernised neighbours in satisfying its thirst for porn. Yet, one may ask, is this trend one we really want to encourage?

History is pockmarked with examples of ruined nations that, because the people were willing to sacrifice the greater good for baser lusts, fell into barbarism. Anti-porn campaigners advocate we learn from history, before we find it repeating itself.

What do you think?

  • Pink Cross Foundation
    public charity dedicated to reaching out to adult industry workers offering emotional, financial and transitional support. We largely focus on reaching out to the adult film industry offering education and resources to victims of sєx trafficking and

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2010 Richard Parr


Sanxuary on November 23, 2014:

Nudity is far different then porn and for most of the World nudity does not mean a whole lot. Selling sex has gone way to far in America but being missed is how ineffective it has become. Like cursing over and over in a movie it eventually destroys its context. It makes it a terrible movie when its quality could have made it a better product if they had simply left it out. Most sex scenes exist to only fill time and often add nothing to the story. In some ways porn has actually gotten better because it actually has a story. I am not completely opposed to it provided its not on a network that claims its family and child friendly. I think there is enough channels that the major networks can format which ones provide a certain content. What is truly sad is the truth in today's actors. Most actors will sell any part of their souls to make money both on the camera and off the set. Hollywood is far Narcissist and self centered whores who pretend all their lives to be someone they are not. The number of porn stars on network television is only increasing and selling sex is big part of their portfolio. Real porn is far more ghastly, crime driven, human trafficking and it only gets worst. The last two decades were way worst but its beginning to die out. All of it needs to be dialed back but there is no way to eliminate it. It needs to be far better regulated and there is much better product to be achieved without sex and cursing being the number one topic in your movie. Sex is not the number one sell for a product that has nothing to do with sex. A beer does not get the ladies and the new car I bought does not produce a pick up line as I race past them. Only a child would believe this garbage or perhaps a future movie star.

Jesshubpages on March 26, 2012:

Pornography is a national plague.It is a threat to our civilized way of life, a threat to marriage and families, and threat to mental and spiritual health...The only cure for this plague is our Lord Jesus Christ. (Truman Dollar)

Richard Parr (author) from Australia on September 09, 2011:

@Maraiya ~ thanks for leaving such a well thought comment. Addiction to pornography hurts at so many levels of mans composite nature, and, as you say, at its heart it attacks our spirit; that part so many disregard.

@Terishere ~ Yes, widely accepted relative morality is going to be the straw that break the camels back in many western societies, for it opens the door to anarchy; though many will deny that. You are right, the porn industry has so thoroughly infested societies day-to-day life that much of what was once considered perverted and damaging is now smiled upon as desirable.

I, too, hope it changes, soon.

God bless.

Terishere on September 09, 2011:

Hi Parrstar, I agree that there are many that feel there is no right or wrong, that it is all subjective. My step-daughter, years ago, told me her teacher said there is no absolute right or wrong. I said Okay, you steal from someone because you want what they have, is it alright? I did this with a few more questions. She got the idea, there are absolute right and wrongs.

On the topic of porn in our society, I feel women pay a huge price for it. We already experience objectification by the media, as with commercials, billboards, magazines, and then add porn... women are demeaned are objects in some men's minds. This isn't going to change unless society does. Pornography and it's acceptance and high use is a symptom of society.

Hopefully, one day this will change.


Maraiya Storm from Prescott, Arizona on August 24, 2011:

Great hub, very well-written on this subject. I believe that porn addiction is a result of sexual child abuse by perpetrators who create a connection between sexual feelings and porn-type concepts. This creates in the child and in his/her adult self a tendency to get turned on whenever such porn concepts are present. This is purposely done to the child by dark force types working to pull down all that God intended for human beings' sexual and relationship expression. Porn, sex addiction, promiscuity, sex before marriage, adultery, lusting in one's thoughts, gender confusion and homosexuality -- it is all Devil, demon and dark force instigated to pull down all that God intended for us to be, sexually and in relationships. Look at all the Bible teaches us, and see that many people nowadays are doing and being just the opposite. The Devil wants us to do the exact opposite of what God asks of us. God gives us ways to be to protect us from emotional pain, to enable us to have a good life. But the Devil convinces people not to believe in the Bible or in what God taught us to do and be; and so, because people buy into the Devil's deceptions, they are either suffering now, or will suffer later, by not following God's loving guidance. The bottom line about sexuality is, if it doesn't have within it true love, spiritual focus, respect, commitment, gentleness, sweetness, mutual joy, emotional and spiritual maturity, then it will only give you a temporary high but will pull down your body, your soul and your life. People find this out way too late. The world is going for whatever gives them pleasure and a sense of freedom. This is because most people were traumatized as a child from parental abuses that they have blocked out of their memories. This creates a dullness in the spirit and a disconnect from God and joy and life fulfillment. This also causes people to try and heal their deadness inside of themselves by pleasure-seeking, in sex, food, drugs, alcohol, and always partying. But this road leads to self-destruction, and many drug addicts and alcoholics are finding this out. People addicted to porn follow it because they want to feel excited and alive and they have been trained by their abusers to only be able to feel sexually turned on by porn and porn concepts. They are attracted to abusers and not to spiritual, sexually healthy people, as a result. They are afraid of true intimacy and loving relationships. Their lives are devoid of love; and their addictions, which often include other things besides sex, cannot give them the love and joy that they crave. Addictions only give a temporary high. For a permanent high, they need God, Jesus, moral values, and a healed psyche. They need extensive psychotherapy combined with Christianity. However, the state of consciousness of any therapist or minister must be on a high enough level to have a healing effect. So, it may take a period of trial and error until one finds the right healer/teacher who can effect a change in the sex and porn addict.

Richard Parr (author) from Australia on August 04, 2011:

@jimagain ~ agree with you completely. Many in our modern society are very much guided by the immature notion that "I should be able to do what I want to do,when I want to do it". Such thinking has led to immense suffering, yet others will dismiss this and selfishly defend their "rights"... until they themselves become victims. Much of the problem stems from the post-modernist concept of there being no absolute right or wrong, no standard by which to measure or judge the worthiness of something. And, alas, having let go such wisdom we fall, as man does, to supporting the debased and depraved. Appreciate your comments Jim.

Jim Henderson from Hattiesburg, Mississippi on August 03, 2011:

Well said!

Judging from some of the comments to your Hub: I am nore appalled at the number of well-meaning and intelligent people that defend and excuse a profiteering predatory industry under the pretense of personal liberties than I am those who distribute it.

I expect the perpetrators to behave as such but wonder where is our collective sanity when some attempt to justify it. In this age of political correctness gone amuk, why does this practice merit a pass? To embrace tolerance, respect, and human dignity in one breath, then exempt a predatory industry from exploiting persons is extreme hypocrisy. It is a convoluted psychological manuever that would leave a contortionist disjointed.

Richard Parr (author) from Australia on August 02, 2011:

@jimagain ~ Thanks mate, appreciate the praise and thoughtful comment.

Sadly, pornographies allure is that it plays on a very natural and good facet of mankind's make-up, and then perverts it. It caters to the lowest common denominator of social mores by twisting the boundaries of natural sexual attraction into something perverse and unnatural... and I speak for many men in saying that.

Jim Henderson from Hattiesburg, Mississippi on August 02, 2011:

Excellent Hub.

I agree that society has sacrificed its virtue to gratify it's baser lust and that pornography is addictive and harmful. I especially agree with, "At best, pornography helps to produce a sexually promiscuous and irresponsible society." I fear it casts a dark shadow over what we collectively refer to western culture. The issue is not one of censorship or personal liberty.

Thanks for speaking out!

Richard Parr (author) from Australia on July 06, 2011:

@Sunny2o0o ~ welcome to my hubs. I take it you are referring to the 1988 study by Queen's University psychologist Dr. William Marshall. The data for that was taken from the Journal of Sex Research, 1988), pp. 267-288. I first researched and wrote this article several years ago and currently don’t have a copy of the specifics of the research, sorry.

I suppose either way we have a percentage of the male population that uses pornography and of that user group a certain percentage become sex offenders. Therefore, maybe a better comparison would be to compare the stats of those that don’t use pornography at all, and how many of them become sex offenders.

Thanks for commenting and hope to hear from you again.

Sunny2o0o from USA on July 05, 2011:

While the 86 and 77% statistics are interesting, they are perhaps not as meaningful as it at first appears. In order to establish relevance, it would be necessary to compare the rates of porn usage between these two deviant groups and the general male populace. If 86% of convicted rapists and, for instance, 40% of all men who have not been convicted of sexual crimes are regular porn users, then you have a potentially meaningful static. But if, say, 80% of men without convictions are regular porn users, your statistic becomes meaningless, since there is no statistically significant difference in porn usage between the two groups.

Joe on April 10, 2011:

Watching porn for a married person especially a married man can definitely destroy his sexual relationship with his spouse and possibly his marriage.

I just cite one reason here, porn is addictive and after some time watching porn, the man will expect his ageing wife to fulfill his sexual fantasies/expectations as well as his favourite porn stars in the video. This is impossible because their porns stars were high on drugs and the porn was edited. His wife would fell below his sudden high sexual expectations and consequently he wouldn't enjoy sexual relations with his spouse and he could seek his fulfillment elsewhere and thus ruining his marriage.

For young single men, they could start seeking the service of prostitutes and worse still, commit rape on innocent young girls. Many rapists admitted to porn addiction.

M. T. Dremer from United States on January 09, 2011:

I agree that pornography has connections with the mob/crime. I watched a documentary once where a director of a porn movie received no monetary gains from his highly popular movie because the mob rolled in and took it over. It's a scary thing to think about regardless of what industry they have their hands in.

As for the content of pornography and its influence on society, I am a believer in the individual's responsibility. I've played World of Warcraft, yet I've identified what are unhealthy practices with the video game and managed to avoid them. Similarly, I've had alcohol, but do not over indulge to the point of becoming an alcoholic. People who get addicted to these things (and pornography) will get addicted to something anyway and while we should strive to help anyone with an addiction, we cannot blame the product for the source of the problem any more than we can blame a crowbar when it's used as a weapon.

Porn movies aren't real, just like regular movies. When we go to the theater, we don't really believe that the hero of the story can jump that high, or kick that hard, or figure stuff out that fast. It's the same with pornography; they're actors playing a role, one where their characters have infinite stamina and are always super turned on. When we watch an action movie we want to feel adrenaline, when we watch a sad movie, we want to feel emotions, and when we watch pornography we want to be turned on; it's just yet another form of entertainment. Yes it does perpetuate unrealistic views of men and women, but so does every other form of entertainment. And as for the billions of dollars porn is bringing in, also keep in mind that pornography is over-priced and thus will reach higher numbers than lower priced media. One could get a brand new DVD from the store for $20, but a brand new porn DVD can be anywhere from $30 to $60. It's an un-even playing field.

Having said all that, I agree that child pornography, or pornography where someone is hurt (the actor, not the fictional character they are playing) is wrong. No one will ever convince me that pornography is worse than violence. Harm and injury inflicted on our fellow man/woman is the highest offense in my eyes, yet for some reason sex often takes the top spot.

But I think you make a lot of good points in this hub and I definitely think this is a subject that needs to be more openly discussed in the world. I believe that part of the reason Porn is so popular, and the reason we have a lot of sex-related crimes, is because of how taboo the subject is. We're taught to be ashamed of our bodies and any naked bodies we happen to see, but really we need to sit down and discuss these matters rather than push them to the side.

Linda Rogers from Minnesota on September 03, 2010:

parrster-I really liked this hub and the information and statistics. I think there will always be porn and that people have choices. About 18 years ago (in my younger days)my boss who was only a couple years older than me, suggested I look at her Porn magazine. I looked through it and eventually I bought a couple. I began not liking how it made me think or feel. I never bought one again as it scared me. I know we all have choices and mine is to stay away from the temptation. Thanks for the great hub.

Richard Parr (author) from Australia on August 12, 2010:

@CMCastro ~ thank you for your comment. Such is the nature of this beast that it too often remains hidden until its damaging affects spin out of control; and sadly it is children that can be most adversely affected, even finding the demon past onto them in their own adult lives. I hope those plagued by this in your family will seek help and find recovery.

Christina M. Castro from Baltimore,MD USA on August 11, 2010:

Unfortunately, pornography addiction has affected my family. Like alcohol and drug addiction, it needs to be dealt with in a professional manner. Especially when young children are involved. I can only hope that the individuals that I know who have a problem with this sickness will seek help for it someday, for the sake of the children. I have seen it ruin relationships. Thanks, Parrster. Its good to make others aware. Bringing things like this to the light can make us more sensitive to those affected.

Richard Parr (author) from Australia on July 19, 2010:

@vogue4us ~ Thanks for that, and the link. Many do not realise the insidious nature of sexual addictions and the misery it brings into peoples lives.

vogue4us from USA on July 19, 2010:

Pornography has a tendency to cease a soul as such in placing a frog in a cool water and slowly bring it to boil theory - the frog sits in the water and be boiled to dead without sensing danger earlier on. I urge anyone who is interested in such topic on sex addiction to check out the following website; an online radio ministry:

Richard Parr (author) from Australia on July 03, 2010:

@Lady Guinevere ~ I find that particular cliché much misused. To Many things moderation, but never all things. The analogy of a straight and narrow road entails we embrace those things that fit the path and abandon those that do not. I would go as far as to say we should loath some things, find them repugnant, immoral and damaging. No, some things have no part on the narrow road, they are of the broad road that leads to destruction; and many there are who chose it.

Debra Allen from West By God on June 21, 2010:

To everything...moderation is the key and that is the straight and narrow path.

Richard Parr (author) from Australia on June 20, 2010:

@no body ~ Appreciated all your comments and the honesty in which they were given. Yes, our sexuality is a very powerful God-given blessing with which we are to enrich the life of our marriage partner. But, as you have experienced, it can become just as powerful a curse in our lives when abused and misused.

Keep up the fight. God bless.

Debra Allen from West By God on June 20, 2010:

Ok it was fine while you were talking but then you tell me to do something that I already do which is read the Bible.

A question came to mind--What do you think of Frances idea of boobs hanging out on beaches or half naked women? Have you read the statistics of rape and porn there? It is nothing compared to countries such as ours who want to police everything and everyone. I also don't think it is as rampant as you would have us believe it is.

I will not quote scripture to you. That's a bit condescending there and asking for an opportunity to shove your beliefs down my throat. Nah, I won't even go there.

Richard Parr (author) from Australia on June 20, 2010:

@Lady Guinevere ~ If only pornography was something restricted to the privacy of bedrooms! But my point is that it is not. Organised crime, in the name of the almighty dollar, would have it visible and accessible in every place for every age group at any time... and they seem to be succeeding in that goal.

I agree with you that self-responsibility is an important consideration, but that implies a huge assumption: that all people can, or want to be self-responsible. Many in society neither have the education, capacity, or (it seems in many cases) the desire to be self-responsible; and I do not speak of just children. It is these people that require protecting, and/or being protected from. For if allowed, their lack in this area will spread like a poison - like a rotten apple in a barrel.

Personally I think education has little to do with moral integrity and wisdom in decision making. We have the highest educated society in the history of mankind and yet what a mess our smart society is in. True, explaining to people the basics of sex and reproduction is obviously necessary, and that has been government policy for many years in most developed countries. Has it impacted society for the better though...?

And lastly, please, please, please, don't simply refer to what you think Christ's words were, look them up and quote verbatim.

Would Christ have condemned pornography?... not a hard answer in my book.

Richard Parr (author) from Australia on June 20, 2010:

@valeriebelew ~ You are quite right of course, and that will always be the challenge within society - opposing viewpoints. However having said that, we are not released from the need to draw a line. Anarchy has never proven of great success in societal moral decision making. History seems to verify that mankind generally does not rise by default to the highest common denominator, but gravitates instead to the lowest. Lust, perversion, greed and vice are all far too easy & persuasive, and therefore the path of first appeal to far to many. Although complex in its ramifications, the question, in my mind at least, is not a hard one to understand: anything that directly plays to the baser instincts of man (especially for commercial gain) and has potential to damage society, needs to be monitored and restricted. We apply that rule to those things that can damage us physically; cigarettes, alcohol, speeding. And pornography has that potential (indirectly), without a doubt, but also the far more malignant danger of destroying the moral and spiritual fabric of society. We can sit back in the name of "freedom of self censure-ship", and take a line of neutrality. But speaking for myself, it would boarder on criminal negligence for me to do so in regard to any matter I firmly believed contributed destructively to what is best for mankind (sermon ended :)

Debra Allen from West By God on June 20, 2010:

I also hav mixed views on this. No one should be going into the bdrooms of anyone--except those under the age of consent. What we do in our own bedrooms is our own business. I don't se anyone addressing the issue of self responsibility. It is the individual and only that individula who is ultimatley responsible for their own actions and rea-actions. I see the other half of porn as in the educational part. I wrote a houb just on this stuff too. I got lots of flack and flame in the comments and interesting comments too.

If you don't educate the children abut their bodies they are more likely to explore more options. Don't get m wrong, there ar those peole who love their bodies more than themselves and that is not what I am getting at. When you make something illegal or clouded judgments or religious insecurity you are going to develop those who want to find out what all the secrets are. Well you are out in the open about such things they are less likely just because they already now what it is and the curiosity is deminish a great deal.

Religion and other people don't need to be in our bedrooms. Jesus even said to mind our own businesses or those who aren't must be doing the same things--or something like that.

valeriebelew from Metro Atlanta, GA, USA on June 20, 2010:

I have mixed views on this. While I believe pornography is destructive to both individuals and society, where do we draw the line on freedom of expression? Different people would advocate different kinds of censureship. Some would want to censure churches from preaching against gay rights while some would want to censure any written expression of same sex love. Some would want to censure Harry Potter. We get into a messy situation any time we attempt to put limits on free speech. I don't know what the answer is other than self censureship, and even that is hard for some to do. Good hub. (: v

Robert E Smith from Rochester, New York on June 13, 2010:

Pornography is too much too soon for children and children are too often exposed to it. It is at best peering into the bedrooms or kitchen tables hahaha of other folks and that is private and something to kept holy. The Bible says that the marriage bed is undefiled. What I do in the privacy of my bedroom is my business and I don't want anyone telling me what I can or can't do except God. It is not my place or anyone else's to bring their private matters to public places. There is a time and a place for everything. Porn is fake and phony in every one of its aspects, in its purpose. It reflects no real people feel nor how real people react. It is distorted and gives men inferiority over penis size and stamina and women over response and body image. Many men don't have the stamina and that is because the crap is edited.

Sexuality has a place in every marriage and every one of us humans are sexual people. We feel it with some of the most sensitive nerves in our whole body. I know some Christians try porn because they are trying to spice up their boring sex lives. I tell them that, that is too much spice. You are in fact doing in your mind what they are doing. What a person thinks in his heart so is he. If what is depicted contains stuff that you and your spouse think are over the line you have done that deed with them according to what I read.

I have taken these lessons away from my addiction to pornography that I battle every day. 1. I want to know my spouse inside and out. I want to know everything so I can care about her feelings, her needs, and earn her respect as her husband, a man, and her lover. 2. I want to get a sense of imagination so that our life (including sex)is not boring. I want her to fall in love with me everyday. 3. I see to do my best in bed, I had better work on the weak stomach muscles and glutes and legs so I can move for her. Sex is a physical act, an exercise if you will. 4. I want to create a whole story, not just skip to the sex part in my marriage. Women don't buy porn as much as men, they buy romance novels. 5. I learned that from my point of view as a man, her orgasm is more important than mine. That was a hard lesson 'cause I am selfish. I learned to listen and to remember her reactions so that I have a number of things I know pleases her and am willing to try whatever she would want. 6. I learned that I will never use sex as a weapon and to treat it as holy, ordained of God.

china man on June 08, 2010:

The problem with pornography is its very insidiousness - it damages at the low levels of consciousness like most things that can also be addictive. By debasing the participants it helps to drive civilization backward, it also shows why morals are inferior to ethics in a big way, morals create their own opposite, ethics appeal to reason and can be quantified and argued in society and in court.

Bolthorn on April 25, 2010:

I think a lot of assertions on the effects of pornography are a bit overexggerated, but one thing I know to be absolutely true is that it is addictive and people who engage in it become less productive. Their lives fall apart with regard to having healthy and happy families and time is wasted that could otherwise further education and careers. If any avid porn watcher out there really believes that he does not lose a good portion of productive time to this vice, and is not held back because of it, he is lying to himself.

coffeesnob on April 24, 2010:


Porn destroys creativity, sensitivity and sensibility and tghen goes for the soul. It is a foul and evil animal that pretends to be playful, but in the end it devours its playmate. Very profund hub. thanks for writing

Richard Parr (author) from Australia on April 16, 2010:


I have to agree with you. Using a societies acceptance of something as a gauge of rightness or wrongness is a dangerous practice, one that has resulted in some depraved and wicked cultural activities in man's history. Pornography, like any perversion (something that deviates from what is healthy)is a symptom of society bent on living for what "feels" good rather than what is good.

wanttobeanonymous on April 16, 2010:

I disagree with Springboard. Pornography is dangerous to society - if you could say individual families suffering from it is society. It can start out small, some would even say normal. But, the boudaries of normal in society is always getting pushed. Little children see it when their parents (often dads) have it stashed in their closet. Knowing how small it starts and how bad it can get. I know pornography is bad for society. People can get violent.

Richard Parr (author) from Australia on March 29, 2010:


Thanks for the honest comment.

Springboard from Wisconsin on March 29, 2010:

I, for one, disagree, that pornography is dangerous to society. When you look at the sheer numbers, it stands to reason that the majority of the population probably has seen or does watch porn regularly. You can't generate those kinds of sales figures without that being true. Society has always engaged in this, and I suspect always will. What IS dangerous, IMO, is the suppression of things, including porn. When you make sexual activity, reproduction, whatever, dirty, that damages the mind far more than watching the act.

Matthew Frederick Blowers III from United States on March 26, 2010:

I don't watch's not much fun watching two people having more fun in an hour and a half then I've had in months.....Lol~~~Escellent hub --On par-rster with the best~~~MFBN III

Richard Parr (author) from Australia on March 21, 2010:

Thanks for your straight-up comment Sciantel. I agree that porn is just one more symptom of a society on the way down.

Sciantel on March 21, 2010:

It's too bad they can't take the money that goes to nothing but trash( Porn ) and give it to real worthy causes like world hunger, ect. Porn is against the morals of God and it is making our nation into a dung heap that God just cannot respect. I abhor porn of any kind and so does the Lord. I see this nation going down the toilet, for that is where porn belongs.

Richard Parr (author) from Australia on March 14, 2010:

Thanks for commenting Shlomo, appreciate the honesty and observations.

Shlomo SL Abrin from Redford, MI on March 14, 2010:

Pornography is the two (or sometimes three) dimensional depiction of women doing sexual acts either while alone, with another woman, a man, beast, or inanimate objects that they would NEVER do with me. I'm not anti-porn, just jealous. It is a circus that an average guy like myself could never join. It's really depressing when you think about it.

Seriously, however, porn is HUGE problem for young women and it hurts their relationships. Men who watch porn become fixated upon a certain fetish unless, of course, the porn itself becomes the fetish. We call this the 'crave', and a lot of young men can't perform without porn playing in the background.

Micky Dee on March 12, 2010:

Yep- porn is destructive. I don't see why people need it really. I'm trying to shut stuff off in my head - I don't need to put more in there. I've been able to see right through a woman's clothing! Nope - there's too much in my head! Thanks for a great hub!

Richard Parr (author) from Australia on March 08, 2010:


You have hit nails on the head I believe, reminding me of something I heard years ago, sadly 'The Church follows the world, albeit at a distance.'

UlrikeGrace from Canada on March 05, 2010:

Parrster, I applaude your frankness in this article. Pornography does more damage to young minds, and quicker, than anything else we could think of...and yet how many laugh and say...oh it's harmless...a little can start with something as "harmless" as the underwear section in the Sears catalogue! Well pornograpghy is not harmless in whatever form it takes and holds dire and devesating consequences. It needs to be talked about, the dangers and the increasing availability...especially in the Body of Christ as to whom else can the sick and afflicted turn to...but how can they turn to the Church...if it is afflicted with the same sickness and disease!

Thank you


Richard Parr (author) from Australia on March 04, 2010:


I first wrote this article several years ago so some of the figures/stats may be a bit dated, yet, as you say, whatever decline in the printed form has been more than replaced by Internet availability.

Thanks for your feedback

Ralph Deeds from Birmingham, Michigan on March 04, 2010:

Porn certainly isn't one of the finest aspects of contemporary western civilization. First movies, then television and now the Internet have increased its availability. Unless children are involved, censorship by the government in the U.S. is not feasible under current interpretations of the Constitution if I understand them correctly. I think live pornographic shows and strip bars may be regulated locally based on community standards. In most of the U.S., pornographic magazines are no longer sold on most drugstore news stands. When they are sold they are sealed in opaque plastic wrappers so they are not accessible to children or subject to being perused in the stores by adults. That represents a decline from 20 or so years ago. But Internet porn has more than made up for the decline in print pornography.

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