Marc Hubs, author of "Reflections Of NPD" is a writer/researcher on the mind, science, psychology/psychiatry, metaphysics and consciousness.
The Female Abuser
Rather shockingly, it's quite disturbing to know that only one person in the UK has ever been convicted of committing paternity fraud yet the crime affects as many as 30% of the fathers who have a paternity test to find out if they are the true father of their child.
Paternity fraud is a crime which has devastating consequences and there are many victims to each individual case, not just the father (or alleged father). However, in many countries it seems that the justice systems actually (and very wrongly) condones paternity fraud which then brings several other questions and issues into play.
With the law taking such a biased attitude towards paternity fraud and towards female abusers, it's inevitable that women are going to continue to commit this horrendous crime, partly because they know they can probably get away with it and partly because the law appears to actually encourage them to so.
In 2008, it surfaced that despite the fact that the UK government had exposed 4,854 cases of paternity fraud, not so much as one of the perpetrators had been convicted of the crime. The act of committing paternity fraud not only results in the child's father being victimized but the child is also deceived into believing that their dad is their natural father.
This clearly shows a serious lack of empathy and genuine care for both the child and their alleged father aswell as the father's entire family who have also been deceived.
The law's view on this issue is that the child's best interests should be taken into account and that severe emotional damage should be avoided, therefore they consider any father who has wrongly signed a birth certificate to be the child's legal father. What they don't consider is the even more significant amount of damage that would be caused if the child grew to the age of 18 or 28 or even 38 then started questioning the situation themselves.
Obviously, discovering as an adult that your dad is not your biological father, after being deceived for most of your life, is going to have an even more damaging effect than if the child learns this at an early age. Inevitably, a child that has been deceived for so long before finding out the truth would certainly begin to feel hostile towards their mother after outright lying to them for so long and would have an awful lot of trauma to deal with.
Of course, the father and every member of his family will have also been deceived. Every single one of them has been victimized and has been coerced into loving someone as a dear family member, despite the hidden fact that they are not really related to them. Obviously, this doesn't change the fact that the child deserves to be loved and to be catered for but the deception is still there.
Additionally, it's not unusual for a mother guilty of paternity fraud to continue to sleep with the biological father behind the legal father's back - both of them can provide money, sex and support.
The worst thing about these types of cases of paternity fraud is the money and love that the deceived father and his family have spent on the child over the years, aswell as the emotional damage and broken trust that they may be made to endure.
- The Covert/Stealth Narcissist
- Recognizing Emotional/Mental Abuse In Relationships
- Psychological Murder: Death by Covert Abuse
- The Sociopath Next Door
- Borderline Personality Disorder
- Histrionic Personality Disorder, The Drama Queen
- Various Types Of Narcissist & The Mechanics Of NPD
- How To Deal With A Narcissist
- Relieve Depression Without Medication
If the deceived father leaves the relationship he is still tied down as the law seems him as still being the legal father of the child and he must therefore continue to pay child maintenance for the child that is not really his.
The act of paternity fraud is a selfish, heartless, cruel and sometimes even sadistic act and it's worrying how some mothers are capable of deceiving their own children in such a way - the mothers commit the crime yet it's the children, the deceived fathers and the rest of their families who have to pay the price. Such paternity fraud is the absolute height of selfishness.
Paternity Fraud is a crime that nobody should be allowed to get away with.
Interestingly enough, in 2009 it surfaced that in a one-of-a-kind court case in the UK a stockbroker had won £22,000 in damages after him and his daughter had been deceived by the girl's mother for a total of eighteen years.
Let's hope that we see many more cases like this in the future.
© 2011 Marc Hubs
Marc Hubs (author) from United Kingdom on October 12, 2012:
Although I agree with most of what you've written I believe the underlying issue is not so much irresponsible sex and is simply dishonesty and selfishness and this dishonesty (and selfishness) has to be maintained long-term for such situations to develop. It's a dysfunctional form of selfishness.
Any mother who actually cares about their child would not let such complications further down the line even be a possibility for their child. How a mother can deceive their own child/children in order to protect their own interests is absolutely beyond me - such women do not deserve to be mothers - they are, essentially, abusing their own child.
graceomalley on October 12, 2012:
This is an issue also in cases of long lost family members contacting those believed to be biological kin. If a child is told that a certain person is their father, then they are taken away from that person - they may come back in adulthood to try to reestablish a relationship. This creates a very complex situation for a person contacted who doubts the DNA link. Do they say, "Look, I realize he is on your birth certificate, but he was only one of maybe 20 people who could be your father" ? Nobody wants to tell someone something like that. If the mother and the biological father in question are passed away, the situation is just worse. Paternity fraud is just awful, I agree with you. But the root of it is irresponsible sex. I think our society celebrates sexual expression and freedom without making a connection to responsibility. Why should there be lots of situations where the identity of the father is a question? Clearly as a society we tolerate (and in some cases unfortunately the signals of society encourage) a lot of destructive sexual behavior.